I Don't Want To Be

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

------- … scene change/break or indicated flashback

Italics … thoughts

Bold … emphasis

I Don't Want To Be: Chapter 10: Good Idea?

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

Deb looked over from where she was gathering ingredients to cook lasagna, Lucas' favorite. Things with the café were going great. They weren't on the verge of being homeless and on welfare anymore. It wasn't a lot, but she didn't have to fret about paying the bills all the time. They were still just getting by, but that was actually better than before – hopping from place to place.

But back to Lucas. He looked nervous for some reason and it had Deb worried. "Is it school?" His report cards were flawless as always, but she had heard that some teachers were giving Lucas a hard time. Why can't they just let it all go? Deb hated how her past was hurting her son. He, of course, never spoke of it, never complained, but she knew it affected him.

The boy shook his head. "Not really."

"Did you and Haley have another fight?" Lucas had told her about their little spat last week. She had grown less wary of the little girl that she had to share Lucas' heart with and was even starting to see her as the daughter she'd never had.

Another shake of the head. "Well, what is it baby?"

Lucas scratched at the floor with his foot, not sure how to approach this. He wasn't even sure that he wanted to do it. It was just a thought, but you needed parental consent. "Umm, well, I was talking to the guys the other day…"

'The guys' clearly referred to the boys that Lucas played with at the Rivercourt. Deb had been overjoyed when Lucas told her about them. Keith had attested to seeing Lucas lying on the ground, talking with three or four boys down at the Rivercourt just last week. She had been so worried that he wouldn't open up and make friends here. The woman was glad to find out otherwise. She gestured for her son to continue.

"We were playing basketball and my team won again. We all started talking about, you know, stuff afterwards and the guys mentioned the school's basketball team and – " Lucas looked up at the sound of a plate breaking. He stood up from his chair at the kitchen table. "Mom? Mom, are you okay?"

Deb stared at the plate her shaking hands had dropped. She had had this sinking feeling that this would come up. The feeling had been there since Lucas started school. The blonde woman had seen the Rivercourt, had seen the basketball court there. The feeling had intensified at that point.

It would have stupid to think that her son only went there to sit by the river and watch it flow. Though it sounded like something her baby boy would do, she knew that wasn't why he went. She had known that the idea of playing basketball at school and not just for fun at the Rivercourt would come to her son. I just wish it wasn't so soon… She assured Lucas that she was fine and that he should continue speaking.

Lucas wore an uncertain expression, but complied. "Yeah, well, they think I'd be good on the team. It seems like a good idea; it could be a lot of fun. So I went for tryouts…"

"Which is why you were late coming home yesterday?" Her son gave her a sheepish look and nodded.

"The coach for our grade level, um, Coach Craig, he said I was good, but I need a physical and…and permission from you in order to play…"

While a part of her was a little upset that Lucas had already went off and signed up and passed through tryouts without her, she was happy for her son. He seemed so excited… Weren't you thinking how you wish people would just move on from the past? Shall we be a hypocrite, hm? a mental voice queried. "Let me talk to your Uncle Keith about it after dinner, okay? He'd know more about this than me." A lie, but she did want to discuss this with Keith and get his input, his advice.

Lucas only nodded, scampering off to wash up for dinner.

"He should be able to play basketball without worrying about why I don't want him to."

"He wants to play basketball?" Keith had seated himself on the couch to unwind after a hefty filling of lasagna, bread, and a slice of delicious chocolate cake. She spoils that kid. Like he could talk.

But anyway, he had just sat down when Deb launched into this rant. All he caught was that last sentence. She sure does talk fast at times.

It appeared that she hadn't heard him. "Dan could be there! I'm supposed be protecting Lucas from him and…and his world!" She stared to pace. "Scratch that, I know he'll be there. Nathan will doubtlessly be on that team…" She ran a hand through her hair before finally looking at Keith. "What do I do?"

The man blinked at the woman in front of him, almost completely lost. "Come again?" She went over the what Lucas had said earlier and then, slowly, repeated her 'rant'. Keith leaned back, thinking. "On one hand, letting him play would be shoving Lucas towards the very possible situation of meeting his father."

Deb nodded, biting her lip. "I don't want that."

"I know that. But Lucas doesn't know who Dan is… This is still a doable thing."

Deb sat down beside him. "Yes, but Dan isn't always a complete moron. He'll figure it out. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if he already knows what Lucas looks like."

Keith shook his head. "I don't think so Deb. I think it'll be fine."

"And Lucas? He's a very smart boy Keith. What if he figures it out? We both know, without a doubt, that Lucas will be on that team with Nathan." She sighed. "I should have given Lucas my last name."

Keith put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You thought he would come."

"I…I was so sure. He promised. He swore that he would be there, that we could start over, start a family." She buried her face in her hands, growing blonde locks creating a curtain. "I was so stupid."

Keith winced at her tone, heart going out to her. How could his brother be so stupid? So careless and cruel? How could he get Deb pregnant and ditch her, but wander off to college, knock up another girl, but marry her? Why? What made the other woman so much better of a choice? Idiot.

"You're not stupid Deb. Dan's never been the brightest of people when it comes to things that don't involve money and glory." He hated how his brother's greed had wreaked such havoc on Deb and Lucas' lives.

"Yeah," she agreed weakly. "At least Lucas has you. Seeing Dan the way he is now…I'd rather you be Lucas' father than him any day."

Though Deb didn't see it, Keith's entire face lit up with a big smile. She had no idea how much hearing that meant to him. One day, he promised himself. One day he would tell her how he really felt. One day. He shook his head, belatedly noting that Deb was shaking him.

Deb shot Keith a look. The man had been far, far away just a moment ago. What was he thinking about? she wondered. He asked her to repeat the question. "I said 'So what do you think?'."

"About Lucas possibly figuring it out?"

Well, that hadn't been it, but it was something. She nodded.

"Scott is a common last name Deb. I'm sure that Nathan and Lucas aren't the only kids with that last name."

That made sense. 'Scott' was a really common last name; there was no reason for anyone to link it back… "The faculty."

Keith blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Haley…Haley has told me, on more than one occasion, that the teachers give Lucas a hard time for some reason. She said that she didn't understand why, but some of them were kind of mean." Deb placed a hand over her mouth in horror. "They know. They all do!"

"How could they possibly know? It's been years and all the teachers can't be the same."

"Yes, but they're all a bunch of gossipers. Word would get around, even with the new teachers. And do you remember Tree Hill High's policy with teachers?"

The man thought for a moment before he sighed. "Yeah…"

"There is no escape," they said in unison.

"So what do I do? Keith…he looked…excited, happy. I think he really wants this. I don't want to deny this to him and have him close up again. This could hurt him. He's always loved basketball…"

"Yeah, I figured. Scott legacy and all," he said with a laugh.

Deb hit him with a pillow. "Not funny! Couldn't that have been a gene you bums kept to yourselves?"

"Hardly," he jokingly shot back while striking back.

Lucas heard the commotion in the living room and came in. His mother and uncle were smacking each other…with pillows… They were having a pillow fight. He cleared his throat.

Both adults froze and looked over at the blond boy in the doorway. They sheepishly put the pillows behind their backs before shooting Lucas innocent smiles.

Lucas raised an eyebrow.

"Did you need something sweetheart?"

"I was sleeping…you guys woke me up. What are you two doing with the pillows?"

Keith chuckled weakly. How bad was this? He was being scolded, sort of, by his nephew. They hadn't been doing anything. Keith and Deb exchanged looks. So why did it feel like Deb's dad had caught them doing something dirty? Lucas was just a kid. What would he know?

"Umm..we have good news hon'."

Ah, way to change the subject. Keith nodded in agreement, discreetly depositing his pillow onto the couch. He smiled at his nephew. He got an 'I saw that' look in return. So busted.

"What good news?"

"I, we, think you playing basketball is a great idea." She was quick to add, "If that's what you really want…" Deb was surprised to find herself with an armful of Lucas. She stood there for a moment before wrapping her arms around him. She made out a slew out muffled 'Thank you's coming from him. She looked up at Keith, smiling. 'He really wants this,' she mouthed.

'You did the right thing,' he mouthed back. Deb's attention went back to her son. Keith was content to watch the tender mother-son moment.

Mmhm...there. The co-chapter. Now we have Lucas touching base with basketball. More set-ups! Review and I'll see you next chapter.