CHAPTER 1 - HELP FROM SNAPE
"Mate, you there? Harry!"
Harry jolted his gaze away from the window of the Hogwarts express and towards Ron's face.
"Blimey mate, that's like the thousandth time I've called you."
"Oh, come on Ron, you're exaggerating. But honestly Harry, you looked like you were a million miles away."
Harry turned towards Hermione. He saw her bushy brown hair and could vacantly make out her expression of concern, but he wasn't really seeing her.
"I was just…just thinking is all."
"Don't hurt yourself mate." Ron grinned and offered Harry a pumpkin pasty, which he accepted distractedly.
"Harry, are you sure you're all right? You've been awfully quiet the entire trip."
"Yeah, Hermione. Just thinking, like I said."
"Well, tell me about your summer. I hardly heard from you."
"It was fine, nothing special."
"Those muggles treating you alright? Ron asked suspiciously.
"Fine." Harry's hand instinctively reached for his elbow, which was still bruised and sensitive from a skirmish with Uncle Vernon. One of the nastier ones…
Ron's expression looked as if he had just smelt something rotten. "Well I know my summer wasn't anything fantastic. I spent most of it with Ginny, and she wouldn't shut up about this friend of hers, though she wouldn't tell me her name. Then my Aunty Wibbley visited from Ireland, and she smelt of cat pee…."
"Oh honestly Ron! Harry's not in the mood to listen to you complain. In fact, my summer was quite exciting. My parents and I visited Rome and Italy. You'd love it there Harry, the Sistine Chapel is amazing! Michelangelo was half wizard you know…"
But Harry wasn't paying attention. He was lost in the far corners of his mind where it calmed him to know that his plan would give him the ability to forget his emotions for a while. Should he succeed…
"Mr. Potter!"
Harry's head snapped up.
"Must I continue to contend with your cries for attention or will you attempt to grasp the subject! Though with your brain I believe that to be impossible."
Snape sneered and the Slytherins snickered. Snape raised a quick hand to silence them. Then briskly, he strode over to where Harry stood at the back of the class. He wrinkled his nose at the heap of blue gunk sluggishly bulging at the bottom of his cauldron.
"Calming elixir is not a hard potion, and certainly not for your level. Yet you always seem to manage botching all your attempts. Is it your impending stupidity or your lack of brains?" Snape looked at Harry who was only half way through chopping his fungus root. "These should have been added ten minutes ago."
"I'm sorry, sir. I got a little distracted, is all…"
"Getting a little excited are we?" Snape said loudly. "Well If I were you, Potter, I'd keep my wanking until after supper."
Harry felt his face go hot. There was a roar of laugher from the Slytherins. The Griffindors hung there heads sympathetically. Ron was about ready to say something that would land him scrubbing cauldrons for the next week, but Hermione stopped him.
"Shut up!"
Silence. Hermione gasped. The Slytherins stared dumbstruck. The silence in the dungeon classroom was so strong that even the dead animals in the jars seemed to be waiting for something to happen.
Snape's gaze was so severe that Harry thought he'd burnt a whole through his heart. It certainly felt that way. The adrenaline pumping through him made every part of his being swell with panic. What had he just said! Harry searched frantically in his mind to find a way out of the situation he'd gotten himself into. No such luck. Damn!
"Potter, you will stay behind. The rest of you, get the hell out!"
The class rushed to pack away their things, leaving their unfinished potions to sit and spoil. Everyone glanced at Harry with pity as they left, even a few of the Slytherins. After all, they knew all too well that speaking to professor Snape in that manner was an experience the potions master never lets a student forget.
When everyone had left and the door had been shut, Harry truly started to panick. Then Snape leaned towards him so swiftly Harry's heart must have skipped a beat. Snape's hands were on either side of Harry's table and Harry was backed up against the wall. He wanted terribly to tare his gaze away from his professor's but he couldn't break away. This was exactly like those discovery shows he saw at the Dursley's, Harry mused; He was the rabbit waiting for it's untimely death as the fox dug out his burrow.
"What gives you the right to think that you have the freedom to speak to me in that manner!"
"I'm sorry sir-" Harry was truly sorry. Sorry that he had let his emotions get the better of him. Again. That'll all change soon.
"I didn't give you permission to speak!" Snape bellowed. Harry jumped; his body hot with coursing blood.
Snape prowled closer. "I shall have you know, Potter, that you are not the exception to every rule, just because you're Dumbledore's favorite boy! And I shall not have you making a mockery of me in front of other students!!!"
Snape was leaning so close to Harry so that all he saw was black flowing robes and the man's large nose. Harry cowered and finally looked away. Snape didn't miss the slight trembling of the boy's body, nor his glossy eyes. He was reminiscent of a wounded animal. And Snape knew that a cornered animal in pain is likely to defend itself, as it is its natural instinct to do so. Potter reminded him of another boy he used to know…Snape realized that this boy was troubled. It was perhaps something he'd known since the beginning, always ignoring the obvious because he chose to label Harry as the extension of his father. James Potter had always been a royal pain in the ass, his head inflated by his ego and his overly large broomstick…no, let's not go there.
Snape backed away and immediately saw the boy calm down.
"Come here, Potter."
"I'm sorry sir. I won't ever do it again."
Potter wrung his trembling hands. Every muscle in his body was tense with fear. Primal fear. Snape had always taken pride in shaking up his students when the ungrateful brats decided that potion's class was a free period. But it was never his intension to elicit fear in his students. Alarm them, yes. A boy his age shouldn't know what try fear is.
He's no ordinary boy, Severus..
Most students come to the realization that a Hogwarts teacher wouldn't possibly dream of hurting a student. And they are right. But Potter was afraid I would do something to him, hurt him perhaps, cause him pain.
"I said come here."
Harry slowly stepped away from the wall, his eyes red and swollen and his breathing heavy. Without meeting his professor's gaze he walked forward. Snape decided that the best way to deal with this situation was to be authoritative yet not threatening and straight to the point, like he does with his Slytherins.
"What you have done is inexcusable. Fifty points from Griffindor. You will not sit in my class and make a fool of the subject. If you are not mature enough for my class I shall have you thrown out, do I make myself clear?"
"I didn't do anything!" Harry looked Snape straight in the eyes, challenging him.
There it was again: An outburst of defensive anger. Snape's first instinct was to corner Potter against a wall and verbally break him down. But he held back his biting remarks. Something told him that would only make the situation worse.
"What is the matter with you Potter!"
Snape reached inside his robed to pull out his wand. Harry flinched and hid under his arms, as if he was afraid he would be hit. Snape slowed his movements, pulled out his wand and whisked away the dirty cauldrons.
"Follow me, Potter."
Harry made no move to follow him.
"Are you deaf?" Snape grabbed Harry's elbow in an attempt to drag the boy with him. Harry cried out in pain and jerked his arm away, cradling it against his chest.
"Potter, what's wrong?"
Harry didn't answer. He let himself slowly fall to the ground. Snape watched as his student shook and gasped against the cold stone of his classroom floor.
"I'm sorry professor!" Harry sobbed. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. I should never have said that." Harry continued crying and Snape watched. He eventually calmed down and took a couple gulps of air. "I was just angry. You always humiliate me in front of everyone, and I've had enough. Maybe you don't realize it but it hurts when you say things about me that aren't true. And it's unfair that you're always right, even though you're wrong sometimes." Harry gasped with another round of sobs. "And I miss Sirius. And I don't even know why I'm telling you this, because you're going to make fun of me and use it against me, just like you always do!"
The boy is more sensitive than I thought. Then again it's no surprise the boy has become jaded after his regular encounters with the dark lord.
Snape decided to put himself on Harry's level by kneeling next to him. If Harry felt threatened by the towering bat that was his potion's professor, Snape wasn't going to get anywhere. "What's wrong with your arm?"
Harry shook his head and pulled his injured elbow closer to himself, as if trying to hide something incriminating.
"Show me." Snape said in his best 'I am the teacher you are the student and you will obey me,' voice. Harry thought for a moment then rolled up his sleeve to show Snape his elbow. It was swollen and bruised.
Snape barely prevented a gasp from escaping. The joint was swollen to twice its normal size. And it was bruised so badly that he couldn't see the colour of Potter's skin. "How did this happen?"
"My uncle," Harry sniffled. "He-got angry at me – things got physical. When I …I tried to fight back he grabbed me by my elbow…n' wrenched it."
Snape made sure he'd swallowed the lump of bile in his throat before speaking. "When was this?"
"About three weeks ago, I think. It hasn't healed much. Professor, I'm really sorry."
"Apology accepted." Snape had to resist the urge to smirk at Harry's wide disbelieving eyes.
Snape felt around the wounded elbow, pressing and prodding.
"AH! Ow! That hurts."
"You wouldn't be human if it didn't. There's nothing broken but your muscles are severely damaged and your ligaments torn. Your uncle caused you serious trauma. Why didn't you speak up?"
Harry shrugged. "It's never occurred to me. This kind of stuff happens all the time." Snape couldn't hide his surprise.
"Up, Potter. Let me deal with you." Snape pulled Harry to his feet and steered him to his desk chair where he sat Harry down. He disappeared through a small door and emerged carrying two vials and a small box.
Snape handed him a vial of clear viscous potion. "This one is to control the swelling." Then he handed him a purple concoction. "This one is for muscle repair. I'm afraid the ligaments will have to heal on their own." Under Snape's watch Harry downed both potions and handed the empty vials to Snape.
"There is a considerable amount of fluid taking up residence in your joint. There are no potions to effectively remove it. Therefore we will resort to the muggle way. Snape opened the tiny box and took out a syringe. Harry froze, and then shot a furtive glance to the door, as if to assess his escape options. Snape decided that this fear was born from the fact that Voldemort was constantly after him. It was a fear born out of the will to survive. And it was now pure instinct.
"Do not panic, Potter. It is a simple procedure. I will insert the syringe through your tissue and into your joint to drain the fluid."
"Will it hurt?"
"There will be pain. But I assure you I am adept at this procedure. In fact, I have often found the muggle way more effective than complex potions."
From the box Snape also retrieved a small vial of sterile smelling liquid that Harry assumed was the wizarding version of antiseptic. He wasn't sure if the stinging in his eyes were from the strong smell or the oncoming of tears. At this point Harry was too tired and too scared to resist. He let Snape rub the outside of his elbow with antiseptic. Harry was aware of every movement Snape made. Snape's hand grasped his arm lightly and almost soothingly. Harry grasped the chair arms so hard his knuckles were white.
"When I say so, take a deep breath in and exhale." Harry nodded.
Snape positioned himself, crouching diagonally from where Harry sat.
"Ready…breathe."
As Harry exhaled Snape pushed the needle between the bones and into his joint.
"AHHH! AH! IT HURTS!" Harry didn't try to hide his tears. He tried to pull away but Snape pulled him back.
"Be still."
Snape's voice demanded obedience and that's what he got. Harry moaned, gripping Snape's arm tightly. His eyes were screwed shut and he held his breath, waiting for Snape to take the needle out. After an eternity it was done. Harry regained control of himself and was surprised at the amount of liquid Snape was able to remove. Snape took Harry's injured arm and flexed it in and out.
"How does it feel?"
"It's...better. It doesn't feel so stiff anymore."
"Good." Snape wrapped the elbow tightly. "It will heal, but only if you give it time. Don't use it so much, if at all. Though I doubt Qwidditch practice will help." Snape grabbed a small jar from a shelf and handed it to Harry. "This is a soothing salve. Put it on every night before bed. It'll help numb the pain."
"Thank you professor."
"You may go."
"Yes sir." Harry gathered his things and headed for the door.
"Potter." Harry turned to Snape. "Do not think that this has changed the way I treat you. You are still my student and I will discipline you accordingly." Harry nodded. "However, I have perhaps been more severe with you than the others. And although I may have my reasons for it I believe that is not the way to deal with you. Do not cross me."
"Y-yes sir."
"Good evening, Mister Potter."
"G'bye, Sir."
The door clicked shut and Snape sighed, rubbing his head.
Harry stood outside the potion's classroom for a long while. What the hell had just happened? Was that really Snape in there? Harry looked at his bandaged elbow. He had been so gentle, so fair, so not how Snape was supposed to be. Harry couldn't stave off his confusion, so he decided to go to dinner and think more about it there.
AU: Plz R&R I don't know what you think of my story if ya don't review! Thanks for reading:)