32 Productions Presents…
A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans and Spider-man in…"Does Whatever a Spider Can"
Chapter One
New York: Central Park
Spider-man grabbed onto the tree branch as he fell past, flipping himself up and perching onto it. Above him, the Green Goblin flew through the sky on his bat-glider. Fighting the Green Goblin was never a walk in the park…wait…on second thought, this time it was. Well, it was in the park anyway. Now, however, things had gotten even worse. Well, this had turned out to be a hell of a night. He had gone out to get milk for Mary Jane when he spotted the Green Goblin flying through the sky. Changing into his costume, Spider-man swung after him. Now, the Green Goblin was no push over. Hell, he was one of the cities worst…and this was before he stole a teleporter device. …if he DID steal it. After all, he WAS Norman Osborn, head of Oscorp. He may have just took it from his own company. Spider-man fought with him as Goblin tried to get the device to work. Apparently he forgot the manual back at the lab (that's a joke, folks. Slipped right by you. Got to be quicker, son). Now he had to get back up to the maniac…not a hard thing to do when you've got spider-powers. Unfortunately, the glider was very maneuverable. Then the web head had an idea. Using his webbing, he formed a catapult and stretched it back. Flying through the air, he managed to come down right on the Goblin, delivering both a hearty right hook and a delightful one-liner.
Spider-man: Well, this is the oddest taxi I've ever seen.
The sudden additional weight knocked the glider off balance and it begun a nasty looking dive.
Goblin: You're getting on my last nerves, Parker!
Spider-man: You're breaking my heart, Gobby. If you're not going to say nice things, I'm just going to have to take your new toy away, young man.
Spider-man made a grab for the teleporter. Seeing this coming, the Green Goblin brought his elbow into the wallcrawler's jaw. There wasn't much room to dodge on that thing. The impact caused his hand to slip, hitting some of the buttons. The device beeped. Goblin gasped and stared at the thing.
Goblin: You fool! What have you done?
Spider-man: Kind of hoping you'd know…
Much to the Goblin's confusion, Spider-man disappeared. The glider crashed and the device was destroyed. Fortunately the glider was made of sturdier stuff and he was able to fly off. …he felt…rather odd. Tired…
::CUE THEME::
Jump City: Roger's Jewelry Store
Spider-man appeared in the air, startled and confused. Spider-senses warned him of his fall and he instinctively grabbed a streetlight on his way down, swinging on it before landing on his feet on the street below. Something was very wrong. For one thing, why weren't their cars on the street? Wasn't this New York? A little thing like nightfall shouldn't put a stop to traffic. Another thing was…he felt kind of weird. Dizzy… He leaned against the pole of the street light, shaking his head. Looking around, he noticed that Green Goblin was nowhere to be seen. Could the teleportation have separated them? Then he noticed something else. There was somebody inside the jewelry store…and judging from the costume, it wasn't the owner. He sprang up, sticking to the wall above the window, hoping he hadn't been spotted yet. The door opened and the masked figure stepped out. He must have disarmed the alarm somehow. Suddenly he dropped the bag of jewels and fired two things out of his palms at Spider-man. Rolling along the wall, Spider-man dodged the strange red projectiles (come on, you know who it is).
Red X: Sheesh. Every time you turn around, there's somebody else in a costume.
Spider-man: Maybe so, but I've got a union card. Now why don't you be a nice masked bandit and put those jewels back and let me web you up for the police, huh?
Red X tapped his chin in mock thought before shaking his head.
Red X: Nah. Got a reputation to protect, you know?
Spider-man: Have it your way, chief.
Spider-man pointed his hands down toward the guy and fired his webbing. Red X flipped back, firing more X's. Jumping down from the wall put Spider-man in just the right spot for wicked right hook…that is, if he was a normal guy. But somebody with spider-agility and spider sense wouldn't be taken so easily. He ducked down, placing one hand on the pavement, pushed himself upward so that his left foot would connect with Red X's face. Red X just barely moved out of the way. They continued to trade blows, neither one connecting. It was becoming apparent to Red X that his opponent wasn't going to tire before he did. Fortunately, he had an idea. He fired two more X-rangs. Spider-man dodged them like he did the others, causing them to strike and shatter the store window. This set off the alarm. Keeping Spider-man at bay with his projectiles, he waited five minutes before hitting the stealth button on his suit. Spider-man blinked.
Spider-man: Hey! No fair cutting out in the middle of the fight like that!
Red X: Sorry, but I don't want to be here when it goes down. See ya.
Spider-man tried to find him, but since Red X posed no danger, Spider-man's spider sense didn't go off at all. Sighing in defeat, he shrugged. At least the jewelry was safe. He'd just be a good Samaritan and put it back in the store…well, the bag anyway. Then he'd web the window shut. It should keep people out until the police arrived. As he started for the store with bag in hand, he realized something. …where the heck was Roger's Jewelry Store? He had never heard of it. He was about to ponder this some more when a funky looking car pulled up, two people…roughly teenagers from the looks of them flying behind it. Five more climbed out of the car. Suddenly it occurred to the web head that his current…situation didn't paint him in a positive light. Holding the bag of jewels as he was, facing away from the store…
Spider-man: Uh…seriously…it's not what it looks like.
Robin: Uh huh. So what are you doing with the jewels?
Spider-man: Putting them back.
Beast Boy: Gotta admit, dude. Never heard that one before.
Robin: Titans, GO!
Spider sense…going crazy! Spider-man was in for a fight. He ducked under the blue beam of Cyborg's sonic cannon, shooting two web lines out. They struck Cyborg's feet and he yanked on the lines, pulling his legs out from under him. The beam gone, Spider-man leapt up onto a streetlight and hung the dangling Cyborg from them.
Cyborg: Hey! Lemme down!
Spider-man: So you can pound me? Fat chance, pal. Look, I'm trying to explain that…YOW!
A green cougar pounced on him, knocking him over. Spider-man kept the claws away from him.
Spider-man: PHEW! Kitty needs a breath mint.
Planting his feet on the cougar's underside, Spider-man flipped Beast Boy off him. He landed on his feet and shifted into a goat. Baaing, he charged. Spider-man was about to move when he realized his feet had been encased in the pavement.
Terra: He's all yours, Gar!
Spider-man: What do I look like, a troll?
Grabbing his horns, Spider-man brought Beast Boy to a dead halt.
Spider-man: Not today Billy Goat Gruff. Here, why don't you go play with your friends?
With a toss, Spider-man sent the goat into Terra, bowling her over. Startled, her grip on the pavement loosened and Spider-man was set free. A quick dousing of webbing kept Terra and Beast Boy from getting back up. Robin clenched his fists. This guy was making a big joke out of them. He turned toward Cyborg.
Robin: Come on, man! Snap those things and get back down here!
Cyborg: Hey, they're stronger then they look, okay?
Spider-man: Not a chance. Now that it's hardened, it's almost impossible to…
Starfire flew over and grabbed the webbing. With a shout, she pulled, snapping them.
Spider-man: …break. Hoo boy. Can we revisit the fact that I DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING!
Raven: Azarath Mentrion Zinthos…
Not the response he was expecting. Then again, he wasn't expecting to be dodging assorted garbage from an alley. Garbage cans, boxes, crates, and other such rubble flew at Spider-man. Nimble as can be, he dodged each one, much to Raven's surprise and annoyance. Well, if one trick didn't work, there's always another.
Raven: Azarath Mentrion Zin…MMPH!
The "MMPH" came from the small spot of webbing that hit her mouth. She tugged at it, but it wouldn't come off. She grumbled and sat down. What was the point now?
Spider-man: Can I just explain for one minute wha…HEY!
Spider-man found himself wrestling a shadow. It slithered and slipped from his grasp as he tried to get away.
Shade: Damn, he noticed too soon! I can't get a good grip on him! Somebody get him already!
Spider-man shot out a webline, attaching to the top of a building. He yanked himself out of the shadow's clutches before the Titans could get to him.
Shade: Son of a bitch…
Robin: Don't let him get away!
Raven watched her friends run off, annoyed that nobody stopped to free her mouth. She was about to follow when something caught her eye. Flying up, she pulled the object out of the wall. It was a X-rang. Her eyes widening with realization, Raven flew off after her friends.
Terra: HEY! What about us?!
Beast Boy: My leg is falling asleep…
Rooftops
Spider-man stopped in mid-swing, dangling. Suddenly it became very apparent to the wallcrawler the he wasn't in New York City anymore. New superheroes aside, he knew they weren't constructing a giant "T" anytime soon. Furthermore, he couldn't see a single familiar building. Spider sense knocked him out of his surprised state as Shade came at him on a shadow platform. Tackling him, Shade tried to hold Spider-man until somebody stronger came along. Spider-man shot a thing of webbing onto Shade's sunglasses, sticking them to his face and blinding him. He COULD pummel the boy…but they were just trying to be heroes. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, nothing more.
Shade: ARGH! Son of a god damn…
Spider-man: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Shade: She'd sooner drown me in a river…
Spider-man jumped off the platform as Shade tried to cut the webbing with his claw like nails. Starfire clotheslined him, knocking the air out of him.
Starfire: I know not who you are, but I will not allow you to escape!
Spider-man: (cough) Aren't you cold? It's winter for crying out loud…
Spider-man struggled with Starfire, but she was stronger then he was by quite a bit. Robin and Cyborg watched from below.
Robin: Looks like it won't be long now…
Cyborg: Damn, man…I wanted another shot at him.
Raven landed next to them, making all sorts of muffled noises.
Robin: Relax, Raven. Starfire's got it.
Raven smacked herself in the forehead and held up the X-rang. Robin took it, surprised.
Robin: Where'd you find this?
Raven pointed back where she had come from, then back up at Spider-man and Starfire, making more noises.
Cyborg: So Red X is working with this guy?
Robin: Not Red X's style…which means…oh damn.
Starfire brought Spider-man down, pinning him against the street.
Spider-man: Now this is a compromising position…
Robin: Starfire, stop!
Starfire: Pardon?
Robin sighed. He hated being wrong. Oh how he hated it.
Robin: …this guy didn't rob the store. Red X did.
Spider-man: Told ya.
Starfire stood up, helping Spider-man to his feet.
Starfire: My apologies…I had jumped to conclusions.
Cyborg: We all did.
Spider-man: Meh, happens all the time.
Shade and Raven approached, Shade having been informed of the revelation through Raven's mind link with him.
Shade: Yeah, cheers all around. Now can you get this stuff off?!
Raven nodded in agreement, muffled words coming out.
Spider-man: Yeah…you can't take it off. It'll decay on its own…in a couple of hours.
Shade: A COUPLE OF HOURS?! Why you…!
Shade promptly smacked into a wall in his attempts to reach Spider-man.
Shade: Son of a bitch!
Spider-man: Hey, who attacked who? You're lucky I didn't just clobber you.
Robin: So who are you anyway?
Spider-man: I'm the Amazing SPIDER-MAN!
Raven rolled her eyes and said something muffled. Shade sat up.
Shade: Raven comments on your lack of modesty.
Spider-man: Would you rather I said "Spectacular"? This might sound a bit weird…but…where are we? …this doesn't look like New York.
The Titans looked at each other, confused.
Cyborg: New York is all the way on the other side of the country, man.
Spider-man: Well, that's just great. How am I supposed to get back to New York? I left my wallet and passport in my other costume.
Starfire: I have it! We shall provide you with the lift!
There was silence for a moment as Spider-man stared at her.
Spider-man: Provide me with the lift?
Shade: She's an alien. She knows the English language, it's forming the sentences that causes problems.
Spider-man: …sure, I can go along with that. Well, alright. Guess I'll take you up on that offer. Going to take a wild swing at it…but you guys live in that huge "T" over there, don't you?
Cyborg: Let's go back and pick up BB and Terra before they get pissed. We can do introductions later.
Titan Tower: Bathroom
After they arrived at the tower, Spider-man asked where the restrooms were. Actually, he called it the "Little Spider's Room" but, that's beside the point. He didn't need to go, he just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with him. He pulled his mask off and was stunned. Looking back at him was a teenager. Somehow that thing the Goblin used turned him into a teenager! But how? It made no sense at all. Sighing, he pulled his mask back on. He couldn't go back home now. Mary Jane would have a fit if she found herself married to somebody who was too young to even drink. Well, this really made things complicated. He wandered back to the main room where the Titans were waiting.
Spider-man: …okay…having a slight problem here.
Beast Boy and Terra glared at him from their spot on the floor, still stuck together.
Beast Boy: YOU'RE having a problem?!
Terra: What do we do if one of US has to use the bathroom, Sherlock?
Spider-man: Your problem will be gone in an hour or so. I've been turned into a teenager by whatever brought me to…where am I again?
Robin: Jump City.
Spider-man: Okay, Jump City. I don't know how, but I've got to fix it. I've got a wife at home and she's not going to be happy being married to…I dunno, a sixteen year old. Wild guess, can't be sure.
Cyborg: I could run some tests on him…find out what's wrong with him.
Starfire: But we have not yet properly introduced ourselves…
Starfire flew up to Spider-man, hands clasped.
Starfire: I am Starfire, it is most delightful to meet you.
Spider-man: Uh…yeah. Right back at you.
Starfire: The masked one is our leader, Robin. Next to him stands Cyborg, who handles our technology.
Spider-man was pretty impressed by the technology Cyborg was made from, but he said nothing about it. Science geek he may be, he figured Cyborg might be a bit sensitive on the subject.
Starfire: Bound together in your webbing is Beast Boy and Terra.
Beast Boy: My nose itches and I can't reach it!
Starfire: The blinded one is Shade and the pale one is Raven.
Raven tapped her fingers on the arm of the couch. Her eyes darted over toward Shade. He sighed.
Shade: She says "it's a pleasure" in an extremely dull and sarcastic fashion.
Spider-man: You got all that from a glance?
Starfire: They share a mental link. Raven can transmit her thoughts to him at will.
Spider-man: Must be awkward.
Shade: I can block her if I want to.
Raven threw her shoe at his head. He yelped and rubbed the spot it hit. Holding out her hand, it returned to her.
Shade: I'm not telling him everything! Come on, don't be like that just because he gummed up your mouth.
Spider-man: What was that about?
Starfire: Oh, this is quite common for them. Their relationship is…curious.
Terra: In other words, she's a bitch and he takes it because he has no spine.
Shade: If I knew where you were, woman…
Terra laughed as Raven and Shade fumed.
Killer Moth's Basement
Killer Moth leaned back in his chair until it was balancing on two legs, putting two feet up on his desk. Okay…so the "transforming people into insect minions" plan didn't work out the way he wanted. It was all the Titans fault. Then again, when WASN'T it the Titan's fault? Stupid kids. He liked it better when Batman beat him. It sounded better when you had to explain why your plan failed to somebody. So what should his next plan be? Perhaps a hypnotic substance created from insect pheromones in the water supply? Or maybe a device to mutate all insects in the city into giant monsters that will follow his bidding? Yeah, that was a good one…but how the hell would he do that? Man this villain stuff was hard sometimes. His half hearted plotting was cut off as the basement entrance opened.
Kitten: DADDY!
Startled, Killer Moth toppled backwards. Groaning, he stood up as Kitten stomped down the stairs.
Moth: What is it, cupcake?
Kitten: Daddy, Fang got arrested again!
Another groan came from Killer Moth's insect-like mandibles. What did she SEE in that boy? Being a mutated freak was one thing, but he had a giant SPIDER for a head! Not to mention that spiders and moths weren't great pals either. Furthermore, the kid kept getting caught. Annoyance…that's all he was.
Moth: Well, what do you want me to do about it? Send more bugs to break him out again?
Kitten: No! I want you to give ME super powers so I can break him out!
Killer Moth's mandibles hung open. That was the last request he expected her to make. Not that it was a bad one, nor was it one he hadn't considered before. But who wants to send their little girl out into danger, right?
Moth: Uh…what did you have in mind?
Kitten: I want to be strong! Fast! Powerful enough to take down even ROBBIE-POO!
Moth: …why do you still call him that?
Kitten: What?
Moth: I mean, he dumped you. Why still call him a pet name?
Kitten opened her mouth to respond but trailed off. She closed it, a thoughtful expression on her face. Shaking her head, she waved her hand dismissively.
Kitten: That's not important!
She grabbed her father by the antenna. This caused pain and a loss of balance.
Kitten: GIVE ME SUPER POWERS!
Moth: 'kay…
END PART ONE