32 Productions Presents…
A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans and Spider-man in…"Does Whatever a Spider Can"
Chapter Three
Kitten's Bedroom: Following Morning
Kitten sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. She had been trying out costumes for the last hour and none seemed to be working for her. Her current costume resembled a hornet. She pulled the mask off her head and threw it aside. There had to be something that could flatter her figure…something both enticing and intimidating at the same time. That way, when she beat Robin, he'd not only be humiliated, he'd be wishing he had never dumped her! That would show him. Her father had suggested a moth costume. Kitten had promptly laughed in his face. A moth costume indeed… No, she needed something vicious…something dangerous. Then it hit her. She began taking pieces of her rejected costumes. A little dye to make it match and she'd have the perfect outfit! After all, if Kitten had the power of numerous insects, her costume should reflect that.
Titan Tower: Training Room
Spider-man whistled from his spot on the wall above the door. He made a gesture toward the equipment with his thumb.
Spider-man: You guys don't play around, do you? Look at this stuff…it's no Danger Room, but it's pretty freaking impressive.
Cyborg: Danger what?
Spider-man: It's a room that uses solidified holograms, hidden weapons, and other such things to train a superhero team down in Westchester.
Beast Boy: …can it do porn?
Terra gave his pointed ear a sharp tug, gritting her teeth. Spider-man shrugged.
Spider-man: You know, I asked them the same thing. I never did get a real answer.
Shade: Meaning yes.
Spider-man: Probably.
Raven: Men…
Shade frowned. It was faint, but there was a familiar scent on Raven's person. She smelled like the guest room. Since it wasn't used much, they kept an air freshener in there. It was a relaxing cinnamon scent. Raven didn't go into the room to set it up…and for it to be lingering, it would need to be a recent visit. Still, he didn't smell anything unusual on Spider-man…and it wasn't like he had another costume to put on. …what was he thinking? Raven wouldn't do something like that. …would she? She did seem…distant lately. Maybe she was getting tired of him.
Terra: Uh…Spidey? No offense, man, but your costume is getting kinda rank. When was the last time you washed that thing?
Shade: She's right you know…and my nose is maybe three or four times as sensitive as hers.
Spider-man: Hey it does not…!
Spider-man paused and sniffed his pits. He gagged slightly and reeled.
Spider-man: Okay, you got a point…still what am I supposed to do? Kind of got a secret identity to protect here.
Beast Boy: Leave it to me.
Spider-man stared at him for a moment.
Spider-man: …you're not going to put a paper bag over my head, are you?
Beast Boy: No…why?
Spider-man: No reason.
Laundry Room
Spider-man felt like an idiot. He just HAD to listen to him, didn't he? He wore one of Robin's masks, Beast Boy's Hawaiian shirts, Shade's pants, and the pink wig that Blackfire wore when she came to visit. His webshooters were visible on his wrists because no pair of gloves besides his own had holes for the webbing to come out of. Terra held her sides as she laughed uproariously. Beast Boy high fived Cyborg.
Cyborg: I can't believe he actually put it on!
Beast Boy: I can't believe a random assortment of our clothing actually fits him perfectly!
Spider-man: This is payback for the whole "webbing you to your girlfriend" thing, isn't it?
Beast Boy: …dude, I forgot all about that…
Spider-man: …well, I'm going to search around the tower in vain for my self respect.
Spider-man sprang down the halls. The trio watched him go, confused looks on their faces.
Cyborg: …why doesn't he just walk?
Beast Boy: I dunno…
Terra: Eh, maybe he's going to make kissy face with Raven again. I totally caught her coming out of his room last night.
Cyborg and Beast Boy gawked.
Cyborg: Are you serious, girl?!
Terra: Yep. I called her out on it, but she wouldn't say yes or no.
Shade listened in, his fists clenched. He knew it. He wasn't mistaken about that smell. His first instinct was to hunt down Spider-man and pound him (or at least make an attempt, one he'd probably fail at).Thinking better about it, he decided to question Raven on the subject instead. Terra was likely to make things up, or just make guesses anyway.
Raven's Room
Raven sighed. It was time to try again. Reaching into a drawer, she pulled out a lighter and lit it. She took her hand and moved it over the flame until she successfully removed it from its current spot, levitating it. If her father could manipulate fire…and if Slade could while empowered by him…then it could be reasoned that she could as well. Unfortunately it was phenomenally hard work. She theorized that part of her didn't WANT to do it. Fear of becoming what her father was, she supposed. But that was silly. No matter what, Raven was half human. Besides, it stood to reason that if she learned to control her power over fire, she'd have yet another aspect of herself under control. Self control was important. All her life, Raven had been told that self control was everything. Next she attempted to expand the fire. Her concentration was broken when there was a knock on the door. The fire expanded too fast, going out in a puff of smoke, but not before blackening her fingertips. It didn't hurt. You got the same thing from passing your hand over a candle. Sighing in frustration, she answered the door.
Shade: What were you doing in Spider-man's room last night?
Shade bit back the need to swear. That had come out much harsher and much more to the point then he wanted. Taken aback by his question, she merely blinked at him for a moment before her brain caught up. She scowled.
Raven: Talking. How'd you know about that?
Shade: You still have the faint scent of the air freshener from that room on you.
Raven knew she should have switched cloaks this morning, but she was feeling lazy. Now she remembered why she refrained from being that way. That's how you screwed up/
Shade: Besides, Terra was telling Cyborg and the snot rag about it.
Raven: You and your insistence on never using Beast Boy's name. …should have known she'd blab.
Shade: …so all you did was talk? That's it?
Raven: Nope. We had sweaty animal sex right on the floor.
Shade stared at her, mouth agape. She sighed.
Raven: Sarcasm.
Shade: God, it better have been…
Raven's eye twitched. Shade's comment had struck a cord in her.
Raven: Or what?
Her voice dripped with venom, daring him to answer the question.
Shade: I'd kill him. What, you didn't think I'd hurt you, did you?
Raven: You would not kill him…because I'd never SPEAK to you again. I'm sick of this jealousy crap, Shade. I'm my own person. I get to decide what I want, not you.
Shade: So what? I should just sit back while you sleep around?!
Raven's eyes widened. It suddenly occurred to Shade that Raven might find that comment to be somewhat insulting. Raven's voice came out level and calm, but there was a very threatening undertone to it.
Raven: You…you…get away from me. Go away now. Just go.
Shade: I'm sorry…I didn't mean…
Raven: Go.
Shade backed away from the door.
Shade: It just came out wrong. I didn't…
Raven slammed her palm onto the door button, closing it and locking it behind her. How DARE he? Of all the stupid, inconsiderate things for him to say… There was no way she'd let him get away with something like that. It actually…HURT to hear him say that. As if he really thought she would do such a thing. Was his opinion of her really that low? Raven sat down and closed her eyes. This would take some debating.
Raven's Soul
The emotions were gathered around a table. Raven sat at the head of it.
Raven: Alright, you all heard what he said. The question is, what do we do about it?
Red: I say we sneak into his room at night, then…
Raven: If this involves castration, stop right there.
Red closed her mouth, crossing her arms and growling in annoyance. Nobody ever wanted to hear her ideas anymore.
Purple: I'm sure he didn't mean it. Shade is prone to speaking without thinking, you know.
Green: Yeah, and how many time have we let him get away with it? He ain't gonna learn unless we MAKE him learn.
Red: About time somebody agreed with me.
Green: I ain't going that far.
Red: Fine. I don't care. The point is, we make him pay, one way or another. I don't care if all we do is kick him in the nuts. He's got to learn his place.
Purple: His PLACE? He has no PLACE. Don't be so arrogant.
Red: You stop being so ignorant!
Raven smacked a gavel that had appeared out of nowhere.
Raven: Quiet! This is a discussion, not an argument. Next idea.
Pink: Let's take itching powder and put it in his jockstrap.
Gray: …I don't think he wears a jockstrap. A…anyway, we should just drop it. H…he could get angry. He's so scary when he's angry…
Red: He's scary?! I'm scary! Hell, to you, dust bunnies are scary!
Gray: They can get up your nose and…
Raven: Stay focused.
Orange: Pfft. Only one thing will work. You want him to take it seriously, then go ahead and do it.
Raven: …do…what?
Orange: Date somebody else, dumbass.
Brown: Or we could just sleep around. That sounds good too.
Raven: Shut up, Brown. …I like this idea. Just to show him that he isn't the boss of me. We're going with Orange's plan.
Orange: YES! In your faces!
Raven: Meeting adjourned.
She smacked the gavel.
Rooftop
Raven found Spider-man on the roof, staring out at the city. She came up from the rooftop.
Raven: Enjoying the view?
Spider-man jumped…literally. He went straight up into the air. Raven's eyes followed him up. It was an amazing leap, especially since it was just an involuntary response to being startled. He landed facing her.
Spider-man: Don't DO that! Oh my GOD, woman!
Since Raven meant him no harm, his spider-sense didn't warn him of her approach. Raven didn't look at all apologetic, as though it happened all the time…and it did.
Raven: I need to ask you something rather…unusual.
Spider-man: …you're not going to comment on the costume?
Raven ignored the question. How she could ignore such a ridiculous looking outfit was beyond him. He'd be busting a gut right now.
Raven: I need you to go on a date with me.
Spider-man: I'm sorry, I must have had something crazy in my ear. What was that?
Raven: I need you to go on a date with me.
Spider-man: Okay…maybe YOU'RE the one with the crazy in you. I'm MARRIED, remember?
Raven: It's not a real date, webhead. Shade needs to be taught a lesson about respecting my rights as a living being. His assertion that I'm "his" has to be waved aside and this is the best way to do it.
Spider-man: Have you tried talking to him?
Raven stared at him for a moment, her face blank.
Raven: …so, you'll pick me up at seven. I know a café we can go to, do a little webswinging or something…
Spider-man had the strangest feeling that this wasn't going to end well.
Raven: Oh and if he attacks you, don't hesitate to strike him. He'll be very pissed off and your webbing won't be as affective as before. I'll help you, of course.
Spider-man: Uh…I'm not so sure about this…
Raven: Spider-man, relax. You're just doing me a favor. No harm will come to you.
Spider-man: Well, that takes a load off my mind.
Kitten's Room
Kitten tugged at her gloves. They had holes just at the fingers so she could use her stinger/nails and stick to walls easily. Yes, this was more like it. Her eyes were covered by a mask that resembled a bug's eyes, bulbous and silvery in color. The mask slipped over her head, but was open at the top for her hair and around the nose and mouth. The rest of the costume was skin tight, leaving nothing to the imagination. The shoes had to be thin in order for her to still be able to stick to surfaces with them. Ragged brown fur was around her wrists and just above her ankles. The rest was a slick black color, perfect for say…sneaking into a prison and breaking out a certain spider-headed boy? And its form fitting nature was perfect for say…seducing and breaking a certain masked teenager who made the grave mistake of dumping her at prom? Then there was that whole, "getting kicked out of high school" thing that followed that. Yes, life went a tad downhill after prom night. She grinned wickedly, flexing her arm. She could hear the outfit creak as her bicep swelled. It was time for all that was wrong with her life to be corrected. Even that red haired witch wouldn't be a match for her powers (overconfident, isn't she?).
Titan Tower: Main Room
Raven stepped into the main room, causing all inside to freeze what they were doing. It was a rare sight to see Raven in a dress, after all. It was black (naturally) and reached just above her ankles. It tied around her back, so there were no straps on her shoulders. Cyborg whistled.
Cyborg: Hot damn, girl. Where are you going dressed like that?
Raven: Out.
This wouldn't be so odd. Raven did go out once and a while. What made it odd was that Shade wasn't with her.
Beast Boy: Where's Shade?
Raven: He's not coming.
Spider-man lowered from the ceiling. How he got there without anybody noticing, I don't know, but it just sounds better then him coming through the door, doesn't it? His costume was finished, looking nice and clean.
Spider-man: Ready to go?
Raven: Absolutely.
They watched, stunned as Raven walked out with Spider-man.
Raven: I'll fly us over, then you can web swing from there.
Spider-man: Works for me.
She turned back to her friends.
Raven: Be sure to let Shade know where I am…but give us about a fifteen minute head start, hmm?
Raven and Spider-man departed. Cyborg and Beast Boy looked at each other.
Beast Boy: …dude…
Cyborg: Yeah…
Beast Boy: …Shade is going to freak.
Cyborg: Hell yeah.
Beast Boy: …then probably try to kill Spider-man.
Cyborg: Uh huh.
Beast Boy thought for a moment.
Beast Boy: …we need the camera.
Cyborg: To hell with that. We need to start selling tickets.
Training Room
Shade sighed and wiped his brow. The practice drone collapsed, dents and gouges in it from his shadow assault. Starfire floated next to him, legs crossed in a casual manner.
Shade: So then she snaps at me, telling me that I don't own her or something to that affect.
Starfire: This is true.
Shade threw his hands up.
Shade: I know it's true, Star! I don't see her as some sort of item I can possess!
Starfire: It would seem that your behavior suggests differently to her. I do not understand her anger. I would be most flattered. On Tamaran, if your mate is willing to combat others to keep you as such, it is a sign of great affection.
Starfire clasped her hands, remembering all the times Robin fought people to save her. People like Gremlin, who didn't seem to understand the concept of her not liking people who try to kill her friends. It was so romantic…and most of that happened before they got together. Shade snapped his fingers in front of her. She shook out of her thoughts.
Starfire: Hmm? Did you speak?
Shade: Not yet, but you looked like you wouldn't have heard me. Anyway, I think so too. You'd think she'd find it to be…I don't know…reassuring at the very least. I mean, here I am, willing to die just for her…
Starfire nodded, her eyes closed as she thought. His logic was sound to her. Maybe Raven was just abnormal…(or she was, but that didn't occur to her).
Starfire: Perhaps…it is how you go about demonstrating this to her that troubles her. As I recall, you did punch poor Jericho…
Shade: He was giving her flowers!
Starfire: He gave me flowers as well…and Terra. Jericho is simply a nice boy.
Shade snorted, kicking the downed drone. "Nice" his ass…the mute teen was definitely honing in on his girl. He could sense it.
Starfire: I cannot imagine Jericho having the heart to disturb a relationship. I fear any attempts to do so were solely in your mind…and your immediate use of violence might have upset her. You could have simply talked it over.
Sighing, Shade sat down on a bench, chin resting on his palm.
Shade: …maybe you're right, Star. Maybe I do need to relax some. I mean, Raven isn't some mindless drone who goes with the first boy to give her flowers or something. She'd say "no".
Starfire nodded, smiling.
Starfire: Exactly. Your worries are unfounded.
Beast Boy ran in. Fifteen minutes had passed. It was time to tell Shade. He had no idea what Raven was planning, but it was probably important…to somebody.
Beast Boy: Hey, Shade! Raven just went out with Spider-man!
Shade's eye twitched under his sunglasses and his fists clenched. Starfire grinned nervously, rubbing the back of her head as her feet touched the floor.
Starfire: Perhaps they are…going to acquire our evening meals?
Beast Boy: And she was wearing a black dress!
Shade: …a black dress?! But…I gave her that dress!
Starfire paused for a moment before sighing.
Starfire: (defeated) Go inflict your pain. I can think of no other reason for that.
Shade: I'll kill that webslinging son of a bitch!
Shade disappeared, reappearing outside the tower so he could start tracking the pair. Starfire sighed again, turning to Beast Boy.
Starfire: Why did you inform him of this? Surely you knew he would react in such a fashion.
Beast Boy: Uh…duh. But Raven told me to.
Starfire: She did? …that is…odd.
Prison
Kitten grinned widely as she crawled along the ceiling. Apparently she had something in her that allowed her to change colors. It was an unbelievable stroke of luck (though she kept telling herself that it was just how she planned it). It seemed to be an instinctual reaction. There was a guard going by and she closed her eyes, mental repeating "please don't let him see me" over and over again. It was far from perfect, however. Her clothes didn't change color. It was only by sheer coincidence that the ceiling was so dark. She was still noticeable if she moved as well, her skin needing to change for each rivet she passed over. While she was sure she could take a few of the guards down, she didn't want to deal with the whole building's worth. Suddenly it occurred to her that she had no idea where Fang was being held. Crawling along, she came to the bathroom. She knew that because of the smell. She wrinkled her nose. Was her sense of smell more powerful or was it just that bad in there? Looking around, she noted that nobody was coming, so she let herself drop, landing lightly. She entered the room and leapt back onto the ceiling where she waited. After some time, a guard came in to use the bathroom. As he did so, she locked the door. Politely waiting for him to zip up (come on, that would be just plain sick if she didn't) she grabbed him by his neck and lifted him up, ripping his helmet off and holding it in her hand. She grinned wickedly.
Kitten: There's a prisoner here. His name is Fang. He's got a spider for a head, so you can't miss him. Where is he being held? Tell me…
Using her new strength, she began crushing the helmet.
Kitten: …or I'll do the same thing to your head.
The guard caved quickly. If Kitten was a bright girl (and she never did anything to suggest she was), she might have pondered why it was so easy. Nevertheless, she took the keycard he held up before slamming his head against the ceiling and dropping him into the toilet stall. She got another surprise when she finally arrived. It was the right cell. She had been naïve enough to assume the guard wouldn't lie. The door slid open and there he was, his spider-legs bound together over his head.
Fang: Who the hell…?
Kitten: Aw, my poor Fangie-poo…
She leapt onto the ceiling and grabbed the cables binding his spider-legs.
Kitten: Let your Kitten get these nasty cables off you.
Fang: Kitten? What…how can you…?
She shushed him and strained against the cables. They were strong, that's for sure. Still, they eventually snapped under her strength. Delighted at her strength, she leapt back down and threw her arms around her very confused boyfriend.
Kitten: There we go! All better.
Fang: K…Kitten…ribs…
Kitten blinked before realizing what he was talking about. She let him go.
Fang: How'd you get so strong, baby?
Kitten: I made Daddy give me super powers. Now we can do everything together!
She clenched her fists.
Kitten: Including beating up those damn Titans! Now…
She kissed between his mandibles (seriously, UGH! How can she…UGH!) before turning to the door.
Kitten: Let's bust out of here.
END PART THREE