Chapter Nine: You'll Think Of Me
I woke up early this morning around 4 a.m.
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
And ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's ok, there's nothing left to say, but...
Nathan tossed restlessly in his bed that same night. He stayed with Natalie while Haley went on her date, and everything went great. But, as he was there, holding his daughter, the thought that his wife had chosen to go out with some other person and leave them alone instead of staying with her family made him angry. It hadn't really occurred to him that he did the same thing. But the Nathan Scott from back in highschool was surfacing, and he was getting angrier by the second.
He got out of bed and went over to lean on the window sill, and peered out over Tree Hill, where very few lights were on at this time in the night... or morning... he thought as he glanced over at his clock which was reading 4:00 a.m. He ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep stressful breath.He walked around his empty room with his arms folded. He felt trapped, in a world where his emotions were getting the best of him, and though all of his walls were crumbling down, he had no way out. He stopped in front of his night stand, where a small picture in a silver frame stood freely, but dusted over slightly. He picked it up and stared down at him and Haley in highschool. So much rushed at him at once, as he took notice to all the changes in Haley. Her long dark, straight hair was now light andwavy.Her bright eyes looked at him with so much passion, now he feared the passion would turn to someone else.
Nathan held the picture close to his chest as he fell back in bed and pulled the covers over him. The frame was cold against his chest, and made vivid images flash through his mind as he held it tighter and tighter with each passing minute. He was right, a lot had changed since Highschool. In highschool he had never needed a girl to define who he was, and he definitely didn't need a girl to live his every existing moment for. Now it was all different, Haley was the only thing he was, and he knew for sure that every breath he took was for her. He gripped the photo beneath his fingers and felt his anger dripping into his every vein. If things had stayed the same, he wouldn't be feeling so weak right now.
His anger built up and built up until he felt it burst through his veins and into the shattering glass of the photo as he slung it against the wall that he was facing. He sat up and looked over at the broken frame and shattered glass through the moonlight. And he just sat there breathing heavily as he tried to let go of the anger he was feeling.
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me
She wants to move on? She can have it all! Whatever she wants she can have it! Nathan thought to himself as he moved out of the room leaving everything as it is. As he walked past the photo he didn't even look down at it he couldn't will himself to do so.Nathan had come back to Tree Hill, and he had bought this house here, just to be with Haley again, and to be a family, and she refused him? His pride couldn't handle that.
Let go of your pride you idiot, you love this girl... A voice spoke to him. Now that WAS in highschool, and it certainly didn't change. He remembered saying that to her, and he remembered every single thing about that night, the night he proposed to her. He was right, he was acting so stupid. He turned and walked back up the stairs and knelt back down by the broken glass. He switched on the light and it seemed to flicker a little before it came completely on.He knew then, that he had no right to be angry with Haley, he left her first, and she was angry at him, but he also knew that just like he had just let his anger go, she would too. And even if she didn't he had to grow up and start taking responsibilities for his actions, for his daughter's sake.
I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been,
or what we should have been, so...
Haley drove along the familiar roads of Tree Hill, with Natalie in the back seat. She had been up crying all night, and Haley had no idea why, but she had been crying since Nathan left the house, but Haley did know that the one way to get her daughter to sleep was to take her for a drive. Natalie was beginning to fall asleep in the back seat, but Haley was wide awake as each thing she saw reminded her of him. Her date with Jake? It was amazing! They laughed, he opened the door for her, he pulled out her chair and he listened to her. And at the end of the night he kissed he sweetly before promising to call and walking away.
Im tired of feeling like this, Haley thought to herself, Im tired of feeling like at any moment I could have some kind of break down. Im tired of wishing that any second nathan would come home. She had been wishing that for a really long time, and he did come home, but when he did, to her surprise it was too late. She never thought it was possible for it to be too late for him, but now it was.
The sun began to rise above the hill in the distance, and as she watched it get bigger and brighter, she made a decision. This was just too much anger to be holding onto when she was raising his child.
She walked through her bedroom door when she finally got home, and she laid Natalie in her crib. But Haley definitely wasn't going to sleep. There was so much she needed to do, and though she wasn't sure if she was completely ready to, she did it anyways. She grabbed an empty garbage bag and opened it. She walked to her closet and grabbed a grey sweatshirt. She smelled it, searching for the smell of his cologne which had long since faded. But the look of it alone made her heart rush.
She pushed it into the garbage bag and continued searching. Next she pulled out a blue t shirt which she could remember falling asleep in many times. She debated for a second, because her heart was screaming at her to do it again, pull it over her head and fall asleep letting her body become completely wrapped up in it one last time.
She pushed it into the garbage bag and continued searching. Next she shuffled through the shelf on top of the closet, and pulled out something that made her body weak. The small cold beads twirled in her fingers and she couldn't bare to pull it out any further, instead she pushed it right to the back of the closet and shut the closet door, pressing her back towards it as she fell to the floor, her knees to her chest. She felt her body go into complete shock as he realization his her. Im really letting him go now. She began to cry and she placed her hands over her mouth.She glanced over at Natalie who was now sleeping soundly. Im really moving on...
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
She slung the garbage bag across the floor in front of her and began to sob quietly. She had done this to try and get rid of her anger towards him, but now she found herself more bitter at him. How could he have done this? We were supposed to be happy! We were supposed to grow old together, as corny as it sounds. We were supposed to raise Natalie in a home, together, as a couple, as a family. We were supposed to be happy. Haley sobbed as she began thinking this out loud. "We were one of those couples, that would always be a couple." She spoke sadly as she continued crying. " We.. We were supposed to be together forever. He said he wasn't going anywhere." He rested her head on her knees and whispered once more. "He promised."
okay... i dont have much to say about it, i was in a sad mood lol... anyways REVIEW! PLEASE!