You've Always Deserved My Love

Chapter Thirteen

Pluto stared out at the balcony where Mamoru was. He was leaning over the railing, head bent. She tore her eyes away from him and around at the other people in the room. Serenity and Endymion sat with Chibiusa between them, all three quiet. Usagi sat beside her; tears poured down the girl's face and her eyes were displaying so many different emotions that Pluto was sure the girl was going through deep trauma.

The four inner senshi were nowhere to be found. They had left and had not come back.

Pluto turned and looked at Usagi, listening to the choked sobs the girl was emitting in her throat.

"You're not used to emotions, are you?" She posed the quiet question, but it seemed more a statement than a question.

"No." Usagi choked, squeezing her eyes shut. "When it happened I shut everything out and I ran." She opened her eyes and looked at Chibiusa. "When it happened I didn't know what I was doing. I was so hurt and so alone that… I blamed everyone for what happened. No one was there; no one knew. I left. I had to leave."

Chibiusa stared back. "I didn't say I questioned your reasons."

"Your eyes, Chibiusa. I know you think I'm a horrible person for leaving Mamoru. I had to go, don't you see that?"

"No, I don't." Chibiusa gripped her mother's arm. "Mamoru would have blamed himself for what happened, but he would have been there for you."

"I couldn't let my friends and family suffer for my mistakes."

"What mistake was that? Walking after dark?"

"For not defending myself. I'm Sailor Moon… and I couldn't even fend off a single attack?"

"Demando is inhumanly strong, Usagi." Pluto mumbled. "As a single senshi, you could not have fended off his power. You do not remember when he held you in his palace with no power?"

"I did not know it was Demando. I found myself weak. A terrible senshi. I had to leave."

"But your cruelty." Chibiusa stated.

"I had to push everyone away."

"Pluto said you would never come back and you did. Why?"

Pluto blushed. "I am sorry I was mistaken. That does not happen often but I did not anticipate her actions fast enough."

"My father died. I had to come back, Chibiusa." Usagi murmured.

Chibiusa sniffed. "You married Seiya."

Usagi's eyes became deeply pained. "He protected me."

Serenity, unusually silent, finally spoke up. "I do not blame you, Usagi."

Usagi looked at her mirrored, older self. "I thought you of all people would find me disgusting."

"I would probably have been so disillusioned to do the same thing myself."

"Mama!" Chibiusa turned to her mother with wide eyes.

Serenity smiled sadly. "No… I would have done the same. I would have been scared. I would have run away. I would have done the exact same thing. It doesn't mean I don't love my friends any less… it doesn't mean I don't love Endymion." She glanced at her husband. She smiled. "I would have felt that it would be protecting them. No… at the age that Usagi is at now, I would have done the same thing. At my age now, I would know that no one can never protect and love me like Endymion… but in her young state, I might have acted just as rash."

Usagi's eyes filled with hope. "Thank you."

Endymion gazed at his wife. "You would have?"

"Quite possibly, love." The queen nodded. He gazed back at her, fear and love brimming in his eyes. To think a simple attack could have easily ruined his life and that of his wife's… frightened him.

The glass doors to the balcony slid open and Mamoru stepped inside. All conversations ceased and they turned to look at him. He stood silently for a few moments before posing a quiet question. "Where's Mako?"

"She and the girls ran out, Mamo-chan. She's upset." Chibiusa whispered.

"Find her."

Chibiusa stood up. "Alright. I'll be back." She left the apartment quietly and swiftly.

Mamoru didn't dare look at Usagi, who was staring at him. "Pluto." He directed his gaze toward the time keeper. "May I speak with you outside?"

"Certainly, Majesty." The woman murmured. She stood and followed him out on the balcony.

He slid the balcony door closed. Turning to her with deep fear in his eyes, he let out a loud sigh. "I'm afraid to make any decision, Pluto."

"I realize this."

He turned and leaned over the railing. "I don't know now if I want to change the past."

"But you will have Usagi back if you do." Pluto leaned her back against the railing, turning her head to look at him sideways.

His bangs dropped into his eyes, shielding him from view. "I'll always love Usagi."

"But?"

"I love Makato as well."

"Are you sure your feelings for Makato run that deep?"

He nodded. "I am sure."

"You are at a loss as to which future you should travel upon."

"If I don't go back to the way things were, Usagi will be trapped with that bastard in her."

"True."

"But if I do go back, I lose Makato."

Pluto said nothing.

He looked at her. "Don't I?"

Pluto's deep garnet eyes watched his. His eyes were filled with uncertainty and pain. "That's up to you." She turned to face him, standing up straight and placing her time rod firmly on the concrete of the balcony. "You could rid Usagi of her child and keep Makato."

"How?"

Pluto stared up at the night sky. "I could break Chronos's law and change what parts of the past you wish to change, not only Usagi's attack."

"You would be punished."

"Greatly." She turned to him with a smile. "But you have all become my friends. This is the only time period in which the senshi have loved me. To the rest, I am the mysterious Pluto of which no one knows. I want you all to be happy, as you have all made me happy."

Mamoru shut his eyes. "I don't want you to have to break law again."

"Why, yes, I know. But Chronos knows me as the only willing time keeper. He would never see fit erasing my position. He knows time needs me." She smiled at him. "If you wish, I could leave Usagi's marriage to Seiya… and keep her disappearance. Except it would be as she said it was for. Because she loves Seiya."

"She doesn't love him?"

"At this moment? No, she loves you. She married him to feel protected."

He was silent.

Pluto continued. "You have to decide whether you love Usagi and want to be with her, or if you want to keep your relationship with Makato. If you continue with Makato, I can tell you nothing. I know not will happen. Your time stream will be unique. If you go back to Usagi, Chibiusa will be your daughter again."

Still, he was silent. As he stared out into the black night, he heard the balcony door slide open and Pluto retreat inside. She knew he needed time alone to think. And that he did. He didn't have a clue what to do.

He had loved Usagi for an eternity. She was known to all as his soul mate… the mother of his child.

But Makato… the lovely brunette had captured his love within such a short time. It was amazing and refreshing to be able to love again after being crushed. She didn't know that he loved her… it was probably better at the moment that she didn't. He didn't want to leave her…

He had loved Usagi, but did he love her now?

Did he love Makato enough to abandon the hopes of having Usagi back? Or of having Chibiusa again?

He was scared. The future depended on his decision, and he was scared.

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End Chapter Thirteen