Chapter 22: Am I Supposed To Be Happy.
Brooke woke up the next morning, smiling because of the night before. She rolled over and expected to let her arms fall over his sleeping chest, but instead she hit the soft mattress. She yawned and got out of bed, making her way downstairs as she pulled on her robe. "Luke?" She called out. She made her way into the kitchen, to find his note on the counter. Things wee still slightly good, he had the decency to leave her a note. But the note itself, wasn't a Lucas note. Gone to get the kids. There were no, I Love You's. No x's or o's. There was nothing special about. For a second she felt completely selfish to think she deserved this. It was just a note, she told herself as she balled it up and tossed it back on the counter.
"Mommy!" She heard a small voice call. She glanced into the hall and saw Michael toss his backpack onto the floor, his coat following it. Erica walked straight into the living room, not speaking, but going straight for the television. Brooke watched Lucas as he stepped over Michael's things on the floor, not bothering to pick them up.
"Hey baby..." Brooke smiled as she hugged Michael and scruffed his hair. "Want breakfast?" She suggested.
"No, we ate already, Can I watch a movie?" He asked, giving her a pleading look. She smiled and nodded, then he bounced into the living room. Lucas walked into the kitchen and gave her a small smile. He gave her a very quick kiss on the cheek, so quick that Brooke barely felt it.
"It was lonely, waking up without you there." Brooke smiled. He was looking in the fridge, and she wrapped her arms around him from behind. To her surprise, he shrugged her off, not completely though, enough so that he could turn and look at her.
He smiled slightly, then ignored he comment to take up a new topic. "The test results are in today, I have to go over today. Im not taking Erica." He sighed and walked out of the kitchen, then out the door. She heard the door slam. There it was again. The attitude he had been having towards her lately. She stood there, mouth gaped open as she wondered if last night had been just a slight wrinkle in time. The real Lucas had managed to surfaced for those few short hours. And now, it was like he had that person buried away again, as if he didn't want to be himself anymore.
She could hear Erica and Michael arguing, but had no will power to go in a stop them. She was contemplating something, ever since last night she what it was that she really wanted. Even as Lucas kissed her and laid with her, there was something different about every touch. She walked in and looked around the living room, noticing that there were no pictures around of their new family. Th ere were pictures of Lucas and Erica, of Nathan and Haley, of Karen, but none of her or Michael. As she sighed and walked over to stop the kids from fighting over a movie, she made up her mind.
She gently took the movie case from the hands of the children who were both pulling on it. She laid it softly on the floor and bent in front of both of them. She smiled at Michael and took a deep breath.
"Can you go upstairs and look for you batman suitcase please?" Michael's eyes widened and he smiled brightly.
"Are we going on a trip?" He asked, his voice filled with enthusiasm.
"Yeah baby, we're going on a trip." She smiled, her throat aching from the lump in it. Michael dashed upstairs and then Erica stared at Brooke with wide eyes.
"Can I come too?" She asked sweetly. Finally Brooke let a small tear fall from her eye, and she wiped it away so that Erica wouldn't notice.
She shook he head as more tears surfaced. "No, sweety, Im sorry." Brooke whispered, still crouched in front of the little girl. She took her hands and kissed them softly. "Do you want to go see your grandma and-"
"BROOKE!" She heard a voice call from the hall, then she hear d the door shut quickly behind him.
"Luke?" Brooke choked out. She walked out into the hall, tears still rolling down her cheeks and falling off her chin.
"I forgot my wallet." He said, breathing heavily. He rummaged through some clothing in a bench, then finally pulled it out. Today was worst then the night before. The night before, he noticed her tears, and though he seemed to have not wanted to at first, he comforted her. Now? He was standing in front of her as if everything was fine.
"Lucas!" Brooke finally exclaimed through her tears. Lucas was headed for the door again, but turned and looked at her, eyebrows raised. "What's going on. You're all hot and cold. I need to know where we stand!" She blurted out, taking time to inhale sharply through her sobs afterward. Then she broke out again, her sobs filling the hallway.
Lucas just shrugged and sighed. "I don't know." He put his head down and exhaled deeply, she could see so much emotion and pain in his face, but there was so much in her own body that she felt too weak to deal with his. "You're not happy here, are you?" He finally asked.
Brooke shook her head and let herself sob again. Knowing she was unhappy was one thing, admitting it, was another. It made the cut deeper and the pain worst. "Im miserable." She finally choked out.
Lucas sighed and nodded. He knew this, he could see it building up since she got there. "When I come home, we can-"
"When you get back, I won't be here." Brooke whispered, cutting him off. For a second she wondered what he was about to say. Would they work on it? Would he fix it? But then, she didn't care. She was tired of working on it alone, she was tired of fixing it by herself. "Since you're going, I'll drop Erica off at your mothers, then Michael and I are leaving.
This is it. Lucas thought. I can walk away right now, and she'll be gone. Or, I can stay and try to fix this. Their whole future was riding on this moment, and which way he turned, out the door or back into the hall. He stared at her, wondering what it was he wanted to do.
"Mommy! I found the suitcase!" Michael called from the top of the stairs. "Daddy, are you coming with us?" Michael asked. He stopped for a second, thinking about his words. Brooke gasped at the sound. Erica filled with jealousy in the family room, while Lucas's eyes filled with tears from hearing him call him daddy. It was the first time he ever did that. Michael slowly walked down the stairs and stood in front of Lucas, whose hand was on the doorknob.
"Are you?" Michael asked again. Brooke was crying again, her hand over her mouth as she cried uncontrollably. And now Lucas cried too as he kneeled in front of Michael and kissed his forehead.
"No buddy, Im not." He whispered. Then he hugged Michael tightly and wondered if he ever had to let him go. But when he saw his daughter standing in the background, he knew he had to. Walking over he picked Erica up and twirled one of her curls around her fingers.
"I'll take Erica with me." Lucas sighed. He walked over and kissed Brooke temple, then walked out the door, shutting it quietly behind them. Brooke looked at the closed door, and glanced at Michael, sadly thinking about how his last moments with his sister were spent arguing with her. And Lucas, he left. When his son finally opened up to him, he walked out, so now it was their turn to walk out.
As Lucas buckled Erica's seat belt, he glanced back at the house, wondering who'd be there when he came home, if she'd actually leave with his son.
"Mr and Mrs Scott." The doctor called as he walked out of Natalie's room. Haley glanced at Nathan with fear when she took in the doctor's appearance. He was out of breath, his hair sticking off around his cap, his forehead drenched with sweat, and his eyes red with tears.
"Doctor..." Haley breathed. She reached down and grasped Nathan's hand while he returned the gesture, pulling Haley into him with his arm around her shoulders.
"Would you like to sit?" The doctor asked, waving towards the couch. Haley shook her head and waiting for the doctor to speak.
"We can take her home right? I mean, the surgery went fine, today's the day we can take her home." Nathan said, trying to lighten his own mood.
The doctor shook his head and sighed as he squeezed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. "Im afraid to say, there were some complications. We tried to call you."
"We were buying some things for her new room. We're moving into a new home." Haley nodded, trying not to take the doctor's words seriously, not letting them hit her.
"Well, this isn't an isolated case, this sometimes happens." The doctor explained in his best, professional emotionless voice.
"Just get to the point." Nathan snapped.
"The infant's-"
"Natalie, her name is Natalie." Haley snapped as well.
The doctor smiled slightly and nodded. "Natalie's body, seemed to have rejected the liver." The doctor started.
"Okay, so how can we fix this?" Nathan asked.
"We can't, we did what we could, but, it obviously wasn't enough ." The doctor sighed. He took of his cap and crumbled it in his hand. "Im sorry. If you have any questions, feel free to come see me." He whispered. Haley just stood there, her legs weak beneath her. Nathan's arm fell from her shoulders and he went and sat on the couch, finally sobbing as he let his hands covered his mouth as an attempt to keep them in.
Haley was still standing in the same spot when he glanced up again. He stood to walk to her, and when he reached for her, she fell beneath his grasp, her knees hitting the hard floor. Her mad screams and sobs filled the whole hospital but no one spoke. No one looked, the kept their backs to them, trying not to watch them as they fell apart on the floor.
"This can't be happening!" Haley finally screamed. She looked up as Nathan sat at her side, staring coldly into the distance. She looked around and saw Angela standing at the counter, wiping away a few stranded tears and glancing at them every once in a while. "Angela!" Haley cried as she ran over to her, when she stood up she felt Nathan hand fall from her back, but she couldn't bare to look back and see him.
"Hey..." Angela whispered. Her eyes were red from crying and her hands shaky as she tried to fill out a form.
"Tell me it isn't true." Haley cried as Angela hugged her. "Not Natalie, not my little girl." Haley cried. She felt Nathan's hands around her waist as he pulled her into him. And they stood there, in the middle of t he hospital, crying together, falling apart together, breaking together.
Lucas walked into the house. The results were in, and he needed someone to talk to about the news, but as Erica ran into the house in front of him, he felt a lonely chill crawl up his back.
"Daddy, look, it's a letter." Erica said as she grabbed a piece of paper from the stairs. Lucas took the paper from her hands, then she disappeared into living room.
If you want to talk about it, you can call me. I love you. That was all it said, there was a space and then she signed her's and Michael's names. Lucas hands shook as the aper fell out of his hands and to the floor. He made his choice and now here he was facing the consequences. She had really left. Throughout that day, he secretly didn't think she would, but he hadn't realized how much he had worn her out or just how miserable she was.
On this day, Lucas should have been happy. The results were in, Erica was his daughter. But, on a day he thought he'd lose his daughter, he lost his son instead.
When you come back I won't be here
She said and gently pulled me near
If you want to talk you can call
And no it's not your fault
I just smiled and said let go of me
But there's something that I've just gotta know
Did someone else steal my part?
She said it's not my fault
Then my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too
I was drifted in between
Like I was on the outside looking in, yeah yeah
In my dreams you are still here
Like you've always been
Oh yeah, my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too
I gave myself away completely
But you just couldn't see me
Though I was sleeping in your bed
'Cause someone else was on your mind
In your head
When I came back she wasn't there
Just a note left on the stairs
If you want to talk give me a call
My heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too
When the one that you want doesn't want you
K.. wa ya think... let me know! Gotta go! Ouch, that rhymed too... gosh... lol
Michelley P.