no·bod·y pron
not one single person
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"Valentines is coming closer!!"
"Oh yes… now that I think about it…" Hinata said shyly.
"Yeah, I almost forgot about that…" Tenten joined in, "You guys are THAT into it?"
"Well yeah!!" Both Sakura and Ino cheered, "I understand you, Tenten, but Hinata! You really need to get Naruto this year!!" Sakura rooted on for Hinata's confidence.
"HEY, what does that part about me mean?"
"Huh?" Sakura innocently looked towards Tenten, "W-well… it's just that… I can't see you wearing a frilly apron and making chocolate for Neji…"
"EXCUSE ME!!!???"
NOBODY BUT YOU valentine's day
Each year, there comes a time when girls have their fun: Valentine's Day. It is a perfect day to spread love and affection, and the perfect day to confess you love to one another. And it just happens to be so that this time is coming around again for the Konoha girls. But on the other side of town, there were a group of boys who obviously didn't notice that Valentine was coming.
"…It just seems like… the girls are getting over excited about something… Maybe there's a bargain at the mall?"
"Maybe…" Kiba agreed with Naruto.
"Or maybe it's just that they're getting excited about V-day" Shikamaru pointed out, and this struck the other two boys. Seeing their expressions on their face, Shikamaru sighed, "How troublesome…"
"O-oh yeah… February… fourteenth…" Kiba turned blue for some reason, making Naruto laugh.
"What? You hate V-day so much, Kiba? I kind of think that it's a bit of a good day… You get free chocolates?" Shikamaru commented.
"W-well, yeah… but… you know, you get all these girls… and they expect you to call them back and yeah… To tell you the truth, it's kind of SCARY…"
"………" Shikamaru and Naruto stares at Kiba, then at each other, "YOU'RE STUPID"
But Kiba doesn't notice it yet, that there's someone at the other end who he knows and has secretly loved will be returning his love to him. This will be their chance, it will be a repeated process each year… This year will be special though, this year's valentine's day will not be forgotten…
VALENTINE IS TO BE TOGETHER WITH YOU.
---
And just for one girl, there came a great, big thought into her head, "Valentines…"
When I give it to him, how should I react? Happy? Shy? Ecstatic? I hope he enjoys it… I hope he'll love it. And then when the right time comes, he will reward me with a kiss, a kiss just as sweet as the chocolate…
"I want you more than the chocolate"
This is what Sakura kept repeating in her mind. The same imaginative scene playing over and over again. His eyes, his hair, his body, she wanted them all, and would do anything to receive them, ANYTHING. Next thing she knew, Sakura was all flustered, and her face was red like a tomato.
"Ugh… Before I get into daydreaming, I should really start making that chocolate… I should go over Ino's and make it with her and Hinata and Tenten…" And she ran away towards her blonde haired friend's house.
---
"YEAH!! Now lets make chocolate!!!"
Ino's loud and cheery voice fills the kitchen. The four girls put on their aprons and started getting ready. With their cute aprons on, the boys got thrown out for watching (Don't ask me how they got there).
"Aww… I wanted to see more…" Naruto pouted as the image of Hinata with her apron lingered in his head, then Sakura with her apron came in along side with Hinata.
"Well… they ARE making chocolate for us so… lets just leave them be" Shikamaru yawned and left.
"Yeah… okay…" Naruto and Kiba started to follow suit, "-----!!!" Naruto's head suddenly started to ache.
"Naruto?" Kiba comes in closer to see what's wrong with Naruto, but the blonde's body moves away.
"Hey Naruto,"
"W-What the hell do you want…!"
"Come over quick, do me a favor"
"WHA?"
"Come by youself!"
"H-hey, what are you talking about…?"
His head really hurts. Naruto didn't know how he does it, but Shino was calling for him telepathically. This never happened before, and was Shino in a hurry? What was happening…?
"I-I'm going out for awhile!"
"What? Is your head okay?"
"I'm fine! I'll be back soon!"
And from this point on, Naruto didn't know anything about what was being planned ahead…
---
"Who are you two giving it to?"
Ino asks her friends as she pours the chocolate into the metal container.
"Well, I think I'm giving it out to my team: Neji, Lee, and Gai sensei. Of course, Neji's chocolate will be the biggest. And, this way, I get three presents back on White Day!"
"Ah… It's something you would likely do, Tenten…" Ino sweat dropped. Then Ino looked over at Hinata, demanding for the same kind of answer.
"I-I'm… going to give t-to… N-N-N-Naruto… kun…"
"I thought you would," Ino smiled widely, then looked over at Sakura, who was concentrating hard on her cooking. And then the horror came over her. What Sakura was cooking wasn't nearly as close to a chocolate, she was cooking MEAT. Ino, Tenten, and Hinata worry.
"Ahhh… Sakura…?" Tenten started, "Why… MEAT…?"
Sakura turns her pink head around with an innocent face, "Huh? Well, Kiba's favorite food is MEAT, right?"
"Eh? What are you going to do with that…?" All three girls gulps, praying hard that Sakura won't reply what they think she would reply as…
"Kiba's favorite food is MEAT"
"Uhh, yeah… but… are you…"
"I'm going to combine MEAT with CHOCOLATE. What's wrong with that?"
Even thinking about the cooking made the girls nearly puke. The girls were left standing there in blue as Sakura continued with her cooking. Sakura sang as she cooked, it really is true that a girl would do ANYTHING to get a guy's heart.
"Sakura…" Tenten started off, breaking the long silence, "Maybe you should… just make a regular chocolate?" Tenten opens her heavily weighed mouth to say this, and Ino gives her a point for suggesting that to Sakura.
But Sakura only had little question marks floating around her, "Is this not good…? I thought that the combination of the CHOCOLATE and MEAT would give off a great, unique taste…" Sakura looks at her friends with a worried expression written on her face. This also shows her affection towards Kiba. She doesn't care if Kiba dies by her dangerous cooking, as long as he says it tastes great.
"YEAH, IF YOU JUST TELL HIM WHAT YOU MADE, HE'LL GO K.O. JUST LIKE THAT!"
That's the insult Ino wanted to say to Sakura, but that was just completely mean. If Sakura heard that, she'll lock herself up in her room and die there, never coming out. "U-Umm… I think we should just give Kiba… that share, and then you can make another REGULAR chocolate with it… okay?" Ino hesitated with what she said. She tried to tell Sakura to give a regular chocolate without insulting the piece she was making right now.
"One is… okay, right?" Sakura smiled, pleasured with Ino's suggestion. All girls exhale, letting go of their worries. As long as Kiba doesn't die just staring at the food, it was all okay for them. And plus, Sakura was a medic nin now, she could easily treat him back up, right…?
---
Once he opens his eyes, he noticed that he's in a kitchen. What? Why was Naruto sleeping in the kitchen out of all places…? "…!! OH YEAH!! SHINO!"
"I'm right here"
"Oh there you are! –No! That's not it…! What did you call me for? Is there a problem?" Naruto asks his bug friend with concern, but Shino only stands there, like he always does.
"Tomorrow is… Valentines… (Nudges) Umm… And I was going to make a chocolate for… um… Kiba and… you were the only one I can ask for help"
CAN I GO HOME (Cries)?
AND WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT 'nudge' THING!!!??? I DON'T WANT TO SEE SHINO LIKE THAT!!!!!!
"Uhhh… so… the chocolate you make…? I'm suppose to give it to Kiba…? Ch, why don't you give it to him?" Naruto thinks that it would be better if Shino gave Kiba the chocolate in person, wouldn't that be more lovabl---- no wait… nevermind. Naruto decided he didn't want to think any further.
"I want you to help me. I asked other people, but they said they all had work to do so…"
So, everybody ran away, huh…? Naruto sweat dropped.
Okay, getting off topic, but Kiba SURE is getting a lot of love today. The girl Naruto always loved and cared for loves him, the buggy team mate loves him, and dozens of fan girls too… It's like… not fair… but at the same time, glad that Naruto wasn't getting that much affection from so many different people…
"Um, so, what are you going to make? It's not like I cooked before or anything… You have a recipe?" Naruto scratches the back of his head, getting deeper into the plan.
"I asked Hinata, she suggested to buy a book, but she said that's a hassle, so she wrote some steps down how to cook some things…"
"Haaa, well, uh, that's… nice… So, what does it say?"
"I haven't looked at it yet"
"Well then lets look at it together right now"
Shino opens the piece of paper and sees various writing styles. There were neat writings, and just want to make you laugh type of messy hand writings. There are normal things written, and some abnormal things… written along with it…
"Uhh, Hinata wrote the recipe for the truffles…" At the very top was the recipe for truffles. Hinata used different colored pens to make it look more coordinated, "And below hers is Gai sensei…" Hee, so this is how Gai sensei writes.
YOURSELF, WITH MUCH YOUTH.
…………
Yourself… meaning… Gai sensei… or Shino…? Naruto quickly takes a glance at Shino and sees that he is greatly intrigued with this one. HOLY SHIT. Shino is planning to give Kiba himself!!! NOOO!!!!
"U-U-uhhhhyeeaaahhh, what's next…?" Naruto tried to move on to the next one, getting Shino away from Gai's idea.
"This is… Neji, I believe"
"Okay, uhhh…"
DO A GREAT JOB.
This is really awkward, and not much of an advice… "Uh, that's what it says… Shino…"
"Yeah, of course I'll do a great job," Oh my god, was Shino THIS stupid?
Underneath it was diffenately a girl's writing. It must have been Ino's hand writing.
The same to one above …Maybe…
This wasn't even a complete sentence. Not only was Shino being overly depressed about this, but it was getting to Naruto, too… "Uh, lets work hard, okay?"
"Yeah… This one was from… Sasuke," Sasuke? Shino asked Sasuke to write too? Wow, some nerve… Well, okay, lets see… Once Naruto and Shino got their selves back, they were once again, over thrown with one word. Wow, even I, Nyanooman, want to go home now…
KILL
'I really wonder how everybody sees Shino as in…' Naruto thought with a fake smile on his face, "S-Sasuke…"
"That Uchiha… He really doesn't want to share Kiba with me, huh?" I don't think that's the problem here. "Next is…!"
"Whoa, Kakashi sensei wrote in here, too?" The writing was like any other, but it was written big and bold with a red marker.
LOVE
Shino's face went from normal to a concentrated look. Oh god, he's really going for that 'YOURSELF' thing, isn't he…? 'URAAAAGGHHH!!! KAKASHI SENSEI!! YOU STUPID!!!!! (cries)'
"W-WAIT SHINO!! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!! Lets just make a normal Truffle, okay? Okay? OKAY!! You can give YOURSELF when the whole… relationship goes well!!! OKAY!!!!???" Naruto was going crazy with the whole thing now…
"…Yeah… I guess so…" Shino lowered his shoulders. Thank god there was a normal recipe in here. Thank you so much, Hinata.
---
"I'm back……"
"Oh, hey Naruto"
"Where did you go all of a sudden? …Did you do something weird… again?"
"Well, yeah, something weird did happen…" While all this has happened, it looked like the girls finished making their chocolate.
"Here you go, Neji, Lee, and Gai Sensei!!!" Tenten gave her team mates and her sensei three big, heart shaped chocolates, "You better give me something back on White day, okaaay?"
"…"
Lee blushed as he received his, "Thank you Tenten!"
"Such love and youth filled within one chocolate!!!" Gai Sensei sniffed the aroma of the sweet chocolate. Ino and Hinata also made more than one chcolate. Hinata made four: One for Kiba, Shino, and of course, Naruto. Ino made one for Shikamaru, Chouji, and Asuma Sensei. But Shikamaru's chocolate was slightly larger than the rest.
"K-Kiba…"
There, standing alone with her eyes casting down was Sakura. She raised her head a little to see a part of Kiba's face. He looked back directly at her.
Shino… I don't think you're going to win on this one… (BY Naruto)
"T-this is just for you… U-uhh, enjoy… okay…?"
To the blushing Sakura, Kiba said this without thinking, "I think I rather have you than this chocolate" Then he puts on his signature Inuzuka smile.
GYAAAAAAA--------!?!!? (nose bleed)
'O-oh no… I-I think I'm being taken over… A-Am I being manipulated? Am I suppose to be mad, or am I suppose to be happy…?'
Don't ask me, please.
"U-Uhhhh, O-okay, p-please help yourself… N-no… Can I help myself to you?"
Kiba laughs, "What? What kind of joke are you pulling, Sakura? It's already enough you're giving me all this"
KIBA'S HANDMADE TRAP… All the others thought in monotone.
"O-oh yeah… Kiba…" Naruto came forward, rubbing the back of his neck and a little tint of red showing upon his cheeks, "T-this is for you… from…… Shino"
"Shino?"
"…Yeah… It's made filled with my sweat and tears. On top of that, there's Shino's LOVE filled in there. Like… about 90 percent of it… Please eat it with gratitude…" Naruto really looked like he was about to cry, which was surprising to everybody. They don't know what the hell happened when Naruto was gone, but it must have been some rough time for the boy…
"…? Um… okay, thanks Naruto… Ahaha, but this is pretty amazing… I got so much chocolate, and it's all hand made, filled with love,"
'If you want that type of food, I'll make it anytime you want… As long as you're going to be happy. Which ever way, I'm going to be defeated by your smile…' Sakura thought, daydreaming, 'Always with you, my LOV-ER'
---
And from that point on, Kiba started eating the chocolates. The next thing he knew, he was in the bathroom. For a LONG TIME. I thought he was going number 2 for a moment, but then I realized it. After eating both Sakura-chan and Shino's gift…
I'm having goose bumps even thinking about it……
(BY Naruto's diary)
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A/N: Ohhhhhh wooooowww... Another weird parody from my weird mind... Uhm, yes, well, have a happy thanksgiving everybody!