Chapter Twenty Five: Dying From Guilt.
The hotel room was steamy and dusky. There was barely any light there, even with the lights on. The whole area inside the room was so crammed that Brooke almost felt like she couldn't breathe. There was a small strip of light shining through the broken shades, and you could see the dust in the air, flocking into the light. Brooke was almost afraid to breathe in this air at all; she was afraid that there was some sort of virus in the dirty air that would kill her. She couldn't go anywhere better, after leaving her job twice; she had no money and no way of getting any. She was proud of herself though, she was doing all of this for her son; living in this broken down hotel, with no money and hardly any food, for her son. She was happy that her son was in a nice big house, with fresh air and healthy, clean surroundings. She searched the room for something to occupy herself, something to drown out her own thoughts. There was nothing there though. Besides her scattered clothes, and a dirty bed, there was nothing here to offer herself.
She was startled when a soft knock came at her door, making her jump on the squeaky bed. She was almost afraid to answer the door. To her, it felt like one of those scary movies where the once happy-rich-preppy girl finds herself on the lower end, and becomes completely groped by dirty old men. Slowly, she opened the door and peeked out through. There wasn't even a chain on this door, so she prayed to god it was someone she knew. And it was. Lucas stood there, in the bright light outside, screwing up his nose. She swung the door open and stared at him. Back in his car she could see Michael and Erica, happily playing together. Before, she may have been yelling at them, to settle down and stop jumping around in the car, but now she appreciated it more than she thought was possible.
"Brooke..." Lucas gasped. He pushed his way past her and stood a bit further in her doorway. He didn't want to leave the door completely; he wanted to keep his eye on the car where his children were. Normally, Tree Hill was a safe place, but this was a side of it that he hadn't seen before, and he didn't trust it.
"Hey..." She sighed. She didn't bother trying to hide the state she was in. She sat on her bed and let him take in the appearance of the room.
"What are you doing here?" He said, completely mesmerized with the room that Brooke had been able to afford.
"Well..." She said in a sarcastic tone. "I was just getting ready to redecorate, I was thinking I'd paint the family room light blue, what to you think I'm doing!" She scoffed. She crossed her arms childishly. She didn't want anyone to see her like this, especially not Lucas.
"Oh Brooke... you don't need to be here, you can just come home." He pleaded her.
"No thank you, I think this place it nice, just like home!" She smiled slyly.
"I knew we were having problems Brooke, but if this is how you looked at our home, we really do need to redecorate. This place is disgusting." He shook his head and squeezed the bridge of his nose. "Come on, get your things, you're coming home!" He actually demanded.
"Not a chance! I'm fine!" She yelled. Lucas turned back and looked at the kids, just to make sure they were fine.
"I cannot let you live like this!" He argued.
"That's not up to you, is it?"
"Well, you are the mother of my child. And I can easily bring up a story of how I don't like the situation my son's mother is in. I can offer help, and get the judge to make you take it." Lucas nodded to himself.
"You wouldn't!" Brooke gasped, walking over to face him. She was standing so close to him that she could smell his cologne. It tempted her, to just throw herself at him, to be with him right there and go home with her family.
"No..." He admitted sadly. "But I'm not going to let you live like this." He kept arguing.
"Please leave..."
"Brooke!"
"Now!" She yelled. So he turned and left, he closed the door and went home, trying to figure out a way to rescue her from the mess she was in. Brooke wasn't sure why she had acted so angry with him, but then all she could think of, was it was her pride. Having Lucas, of all people, to see her in such a mess, weakened her a little, causing her to put up a huge defensive barrier.
"Welcome to day one of starting over!" Nathan smiled. With his arms outstretched, he led Haley into their living room. She stepped in and noticed herself being completely surrounded by tiny purple flowers. All of the furniture had been cleared out, and in the center of the room was a small table, set perfectly for two people.
"We've been through a lot." Nathan continued. He pulled out a chair at the table and motioned for Haley to sit. She was still staring around the room in amazement as she sat down. "And now, I hope we can finally get back to where we're meant to be." He smiled. He sat down in the chair across from her, and watched her as she stared around the room still.
"Nathan… this is…" She couldn't find the words to describe the comfort she was now feeling. "You're amazing." She finished in a short breath.
"Not as amazing as you." He smirked. He reached out and grabbed her hand, and pulled it in to kiss her palm. Then he stood up and pulled his chair around so that it was at her side and not so far away from her. "I've really missed you. I know how you felt now, when I left. Not having you around was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. And you were just upstairs. I can't imagine what you went through when I took off, because I was actually gone. You? You never really went anywhere." He felt a need to justify everything he had done in the past year. But Haley shook her head to stop him.
"Let's not talk about that right now… please…" She whispered. She leaned in and kissed his cheek, stopping him as he got ready to speak again. "It doesn't matter anymore. That's over." She smiled and laughed.
"I just wanted you to know… I needed you to know… I'm not going anywhere. I know that everything that has happened, with us and with…" He dared to say her name. He was afraid to speak about Natal
ie, afraid it would cause Haley to go back to her state again. "Natalie... I know it was my fault. If I hadn't left, things would have been different."
"Stop It!" Haley yelled, but she was laughing and smiling at the same time. Nathan just stared at her sadly, and she could tell that he was still blaming himself, even as she asked him not to. So instead of begging him not to, she simply leaned in and kissed him softly. As she pulled back, she looked at him. His eyes were still closed as if he were hanging onto that kiss with every fiber in his body. So once more, she kissed him, not wanting to break away this time. But they both did. And as Nathan smiled, Haley whispered, "I don't blame you."
He nodded, but she still wondered if he believed her. He was praying that she really didn't blame him, and even if she didn't, he'd always blame himself for his daughter's death. Instead of arguing with her now though, he got up and pressed play on the stereo, then reached out and pulled Haley up with him, dancing softly in the middle of their home.
"Daddy?" Erica spoke up as they settled in on a long, quiet drive home.
"Yeah…" Lucas answered; he glanced at her through the rear view mirror.
"Mommy isn't coming home?" Lucas glanced at Michael as Erica said this, waiting to see if he'd have a jealous reaction. But he didn't. He just looked at Lucas hopefully, agreeing with Erica.
"Not yet…" Lucas sighed.
"When?" Michael then asked.
"I'm not sure." Lucas looked back at the kids in the back seat. They looked so sad that Brooke wasn't coming home, and he felt terrible. The only reason Brooke had left was because Lucas hadn't treated her how he should have. And as he stared back at his kids, he could only blame himself for the pain they were feeling.
Okay.. there it wass. I hope you liked it. I really really do. This fanfic will probabl soon be coming to a close. So... prepare for it to start summing up. Review please... thank you. Love you guys... you're awesome!
Michelley P.
P.S. Happy Holidays:)