Hello, everyone. We hope everyone had a good weekend, had fun, didn't get too sunburned...lol. We, on the other hand, have been busy...:) We want to thank everyone who read and reviewed the preceding chapters. We really do appreciate your comments even if we don't get to answer every one personally. We hope that you'll continue to let us know how we are doing.

As always, we are yours,

butterflyswest and Erin Allen

6

In the past weeks, Neela had taken to waking with a start; constantly worried that she would be asleep when he finally woke. She would jerk awake, peering blindly about until her eyes rested on his face to search for some change, some sign that he was awake. There would be nothing of course, and disappointment would crash down on her like a tidal wave, leaving her to tread water in a sea of hopelessness.

When she woke this time, it was not with a start or in a panic. Neither was it a slow wakening. One moment, she was asleep, and the next, she was awake, fully aware of the sounds outside the door heralding the morning rounds. She didn't move for a long moment, just relishing the first peaceful sleep she'd had in weeks. She didn't even mind the kink in her neck from sleeping sitting up. She felt rested, Ray was holding her hand, and…

Her breath caught at the realization, and her head snapped up against the shrieking protest of cramped muscles. She could only stare down at her hand entwined with his. She could have sworn that she hadn't held his hand before she'd fallen asleep. She shifted her hand in his, only to feel his fingers tighten on hers. Her gaze snapped to his face, her eyes widening and her breath coming in short gasps.

"Ray?" she choked out. She rose slowly to her feet, her knees shaking as badly as her hands. "Ray?" she repeated more loudly. "Can you hear me?"

There was no response, though she thought she saw his eyelids flutter. Her pulse quickened in her chest, and she started to pull away to get a doctor.

"Don't leave me."

Her throat tightened to the point of pain at the whispered words. She turned back to the bed, tears burning her eyes.

"Ray?" she asked uncertainly.

"Don't leave, Neela. Please."

Her heart broke then with a resounding crack. She had seen his lips move as he spoke, had heard the soft words as they left his throat. There was no mistaking this. It wasn't a dream. It wasn't wishful thinking. This was real. She leaned over him, her hand touching his face, stroking through his hair as tears started falling from her eyes. Suddenly, it was imperative that she see his eyes, to assure herself that he had indeed returned to her.

"Open your eyes, Ray," she said in a choked voice. "Please…"

He turned his face toward her hand at her urgent words, and she thought she would stop breathing right then. His eyes fluttered again, but didn't open.

"Open your eyes, Ray. Look at me."

"Don't yell," he whispered back, a small smile gracing his lips. "I can hear you just fine."

A hysterical laugh escaped her throat.

"Then stop being a pain in my ass and look at me."

"Wouldn't want to break tradition," he said as his eyes finally opened to fix with effort on her face.

If she lived an eternity, she would never forget that one perfect moment when she looked into his hazel eyes and saw everything. Her heart skipped three beats before jogging merrily along in her throat. She swallowed it down, only to be nearly suffocated again by tears. In his eyes, she saw all the things that he had tried to tell her but she had refused to listen to. She could see how much he loved her in that green-gold gaze, and the shattered pieces of her soul came together, healed in that instant. There were scars. There always were, but she was no longer lying splintered.

"I've been waiting for you," she whispered brokenly. "I was afraid…so afraid…"

She couldn't continue. She didn't want to put to words what she had buried deep. The fear that he would never wake up, that she would never have the chance to love him as he deserved. She didn't want to say those words. She knew if she did, she would just break down and weep. He didn't need to see her like that. He frowned and squeezed her hand.

"You didn't have to wait on me, Neela."

She nodded, tears falling from her chin to the bed. "Yes, I did."

He searched her face for a long moment before he glanced around the room with surprise.

"Where the hell am I?" he asked, trying to rise to his elbows. "And why do I feel like a train backed over me?"

Her brow furrowing, she gently pushed him back down.

"You don't remember?" she asked.

He shook his head, his eyes darkening in confusion.

"There was shouting," he said, his voice tinged with uncertainty. His eyes widened suddenly, and he struggled against her hand, trying to sit up. "Abby. Is Abby all right? What about the baby? They didn't…"

"Abby's fine," she assured him. "The baby's fine, but you, on the other hand, have a lot of healing to do."

He looked down at himself, and then gave her a wild-eyed glare.

"What the hell happened to me?"

She could hear the panic in his voice and perched on the edge of the bed, pushing him back down as he tried again to sit up.

"You need to calm down, Ray," she told him sternly, swiping at the tears that were falling from her eyes. She almost laughed. That was good advice for both of them.

"You were shot," she told him as gently as she could. "You and Jerry both."

His eyes darkened further.

"Is Jerry all right?"

"He's fine. He went home a week ago."

His jaw went slack as he digested what she had said…and hadn't said. He gave her a sharp look, seeing in her eyes that she was holding something back.

"Which means I've been…"

"In a coma," she said softly, looking away. "For three weeks now."

Ray settled back on the bed, her words hitting him with the impact of a sledgehammer. Three weeks. Fragmented memories and broken images rose to just below the surface of his memory, eluding his grasp. Those words rippled in his mind leaving the feeling of déja vu in their wake. Where had he heard those words before? His head ached with memories he couldn't recall, images he couldn't remember.

He looked back at Neela, taking in the shadowed hollows beneath her eyes and the thinness of her face. She had lost weight, and she looked as if she hadn't slept…

…in a month.

"Have you been here the whole time?" he asked quietly.

Her eyes snapped to his face and held there. Before she said anything, he knew. She'd been with him all along. Warmth bloomed in his heart and spread through his chest until his whole body was alight. She had stayed with him. Throughout everything, she had stayed by his side.

"You didn't have to, Neela," he whispered.

She nodded, her gaze fixed on his.

"Yes, I did."

"Neela…"

He paused, not really knowing what he was going to say. There was so much to tell her; so much that he wanted her to know that it was like a wall in his throat. It loomed there, too large to let it all out at once; too large to even begin.

"Thank you," he whispered, finally settling on the one thing that wasn't too laden with the past. The smile she offered was watery with tears, but it was a smile nonetheless, and he thought his heart would burst at the sight of it. He hadn't seen her smile in so long...

"Don't thank me yet, Ray. I can be a terror when I want something, and I want you to get well."

He smiled, knowing all too well that she was avoiding the same things he was. It wasn't the time for confessions from either of them, but he could wait. He'd been waiting for an eternity it seemed.

"Well, when can I go home?"

She laughed softly, and his breath caught at the sight of her. She was beautiful. He was always mesmerized by the way she laughed. Her face lighting up, the flash of white teeth, the soft glow in her eyes. It was enchanting.

"I can already tell you're going to drive the nurses crazy."

"What? Why?"

"Because you're a big baby," she said with a chuckle. "This could be fun to watch. At least they'll know that I'm not so bad as they've been thinking."

He grinned. "Been terrorizing the nurses?"

She raised an eyebrow. "For a good cause." She rose from the bed. "I need to get your doctor. Let him know that…that you've come back."

Ray frowned at the hesitation. She'd been about to say something else, but had stopped herself. He didn't have time to analyze it, because she was already heading toward the door. Sudden fear swept him up at the thought of her leaving. He didn't want her to go.

"Neela…"

She stopped and turned to give him a quizzical look.

"You're coming back, right?"

She searched his face for a moment and smiled.

"I'm coming back," she said firmly.

He swallowed. "Promise?"

Her smile widened and the look in her eyes stole his breath away.

"I swear it," she said an instant before she was gone.

Ray settled back, fighting the fear that she would just leave him, never come back. He threw his arm over his eyes, forcing himself to breathe deeply.

"Don't leave me again. Please," he whispered softly to the empty room.

000000

Neela waited until she had spoken with Dr. Rinehart before she took the lift to the ER to share the good news. She had wanted to assure herself that this wasn't some horrible dream, and she had hallucinated it all. She refused to gloat in front of Rinehart, though that was exactly what she wanted to do. She smiled to herself in the elevator at the thought of his sheepish look. He'd been wrong. For once in his life, he had been wrong, and didn't know quite what to say to her. Especially after she had given him the cutting edge of her tongue on too many occasions to count. He'd tried to be pompous, telling her that this could only be temporary, but her glare had succeeded in cutting him off. Ray was awake, and she would make damn sure that he stayed that way.

She couldn't help but think of her dream of Michael. She had played the dream over and over in her mind and still couldn't shake the feeling that it had been a message. Whether it was just her subconscious as Abby believed, or if Michael had actually come to her, she didn't know.

He needs you…and I know you need him…

She wasn't ready to analyze it too closely. Not yet. Maybe later when she was certain that Ray was out of danger. Maybe then she could turn it over in her mind until she could find a solution. Until that time came, she would just live in the moment. As Ray seemed to do so well.

The grin she had been holding in suddenly broke free. She laughed aloud, feeling giddy as a schoolgirl for the first time in her life, and for the first time since this nightmare began, her heart didn't feel burdened down by guilt or remorse.

The elevator doors opened and she sprang out, feeling better than she had in ages. The nurses she passed gave her odd looks at the sight of the unfamiliar smile on her face. She ignored them, searching for Abby. She didn't care suddenly what they thought of her. She was happy. Ray was awake, and she had a second chance. They would never understand even if she tried to tell them.

She found Abby at Reception. Her doctor had put her on limited duty for the remainder of her pregnancy, and with Jerry gone, she was minding the phones. By the sullen look on her face, Neela surmised that her news would be very welcome. Neela couldn't contain her excitement as she approached.

"Abby."

Abby raised her head from her hand at the sound of Neela's voice. Her heart went to her throat for a moment with fear. Neela hadn't come to the ER voluntarily in weeks. She scanned Neela's face and her anxiety eased off at the sight of the smile on her face. Relief, quick and biting, made her suck in her breath sharply.

"Oh, God. He's awake."

Neela nodded quickly and let out a slightly wild laugh. Abby rounded the desk and gave her a hug as she laughed and cried at the same time.

"What happened?"

They both turned at the sound of Pratt's voice.

"Ray's awake," Neela said, steeling herself for his censure. She had been avoiding him since the day this had started. She couldn't forget that Pratt was Michael's best friend, and he'd never approved of Ray. She hadn't wanted to hear that Michael wouldn't want her to be with Ray. It was time that she started living her own life, as Michael had asked her to do.

As expected, his face darkened for a moment before he nodded.

"About time," he said finally. "Didn't he know that he had someone waiting for him?"

She gave him a sharp look, and he offered a small smile. She relaxed and returned his smile until he turned away from her.

"Listen up, people!" he called out. The staff froze in place, their gazes darting between him and Neela in silent expectation. "Neela has something to say."

He stepped aside, leaving her feeling suddenly exposed. She hated public speaking. She always had. It made her feel self-conscious to have all eyes on her. And the eyes of the ER staff she resented most of all. She drew a deep breath, her gaze taking in the anxious looks from her audience. She drew courage from the fact that what she had to say would be welcomed.

"Ray came out of the coma," she said clearly, her smile breaking free once again. She couldn't help herself. Just to be able to say those words was more than a relief. She ducked her head at the applause and whoops that sounded through the ER.

"I don't want everyone sneaking off to see him!" Pratt called out over the uproar. "We still have a job to do, and the man needs rest."

Abby gave him a scowl before she turned back to Neela.

"I'll be up after shift to see him," she said stubbornly. She rubbed her hand across her belly. "I have a few things to say to him."

Neela smiled and nodded.

"I'll tell him. He was asking about you. He wanted to know if you were all right."

Abby ducked her head to hide the sudden tears in her eyes. Damn pregnancy hormones. She was forever crying over nothing.

"Let him know that I'll be up," she said, doing her best to keep her voice steady.

Neela bit her lip and nodded. "I'll tell him." She squeezed Abby's arm before turning away. "I have to go back up," she said looking over her shoulder. "I'll see you later?"

Abby nodded. "Absolutely."

Neela smiled and made her way back to the lift. She couldn't explain the sense of urgency that she felt to be back in his room, at his side. She was half afraid that she would suddenly wake up and this would all be a dream. She would be back in Abby's cold apartment with nothing to look forward to but day after day of despair. She smiled. She had so much more to look forward to now.

If only she could get around the little problem of not being able to say what was in her heart.

She ducked through the doors on Ray's floor, her mind on how exactly she could tell him. She'd come close earlier, but had caught herself. She wasn't sure why she had done so. It was all she'd been thinking of since the moment she'd learned of his injuries. It was so hard to give up the old habits, the inhibitions that had kept her from speaking her mind on so many occasions. She took a deep breath at his door, determined to finally say what she wanted to say.

Her head held high, she opened the door and froze, her heart in her throat.

Ray was gone.

In a panic, she fled from the room, jogging down the corridor to the nurse's station. The charge nurse was there, looking over forms and typing information in the computer. Neela slammed her hand on the desk, causing her to jump in surprise.

"Dr. Barnett," she said with a hint of steel in her tone. "Where is he?"

The woman glanced around as if she wasn't sure whom Neela was talking about, although she should have. There wasn't a staff member on this floor that didn't know who Neela Rasgotra was.

"Where is he?" Neela asked again, raising her voice.

"Neela, I'm right here."

Neela swung around, her heart beating in an uneven rhythm. He was sitting in a wheelchair in the hall behind her. His expression was one of amusement until he saw the look on her face. He frowned in concern.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

She nodded, trying to bring her emotions under control. She was acting like bloody psychopath

"I just didn't know where you were," she said lamely.

His smile was all she could have hoped for, slightly mocking but brilliant nonetheless.

"You've gotten too used to me being in one spot," he said. He glanced up at the nurse that held the handles of the chair. "They just took me down for some tests." His eyes narrowed on her face. "I'm fine, Neela."

She nodded, half ashamed of herself for her erratic behavior. She followed the nurse as she took him back to his room and helped him back to bed.

"God!" he said as he collapsed on the bed. "I can't believe how weak I am!"

"Well, what do you expect?" Neela shot out as the nurse left them alone. "You were shot. You haven't moved in a month."

He smiled at her then grimaced. "And remind me the next time I order a CT Scan that I should warn the patient first. Those things are just an embarrassing situation waiting to happen."

Neela laughed as she pulled the blanket over him.

"I'll remember," she said. "Right now, though you need to get some rest."

Ray glanced at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Look who's talking. When was the last time you slept in a real bed?"

She looked away, raising one shoulder in a shrug.

"I don't really remember," she admitted. "I haven't wanted to leave…" she swallowed hard. "I haven't wanted to leave you."

Ray felt his heart skip a beat as he heard those words. Whether or not she admitted it, she cared about him. Deeply. So much so that she had not left him since he'd been injured.

"Lie down with me, Neela," he said softly.

Her gaze snapped to his face, her eyes widening.

"I can't. You need to rest…"

"So do you," he interrupted. "You're so tired you can barely stay upright." He sighed when she still hesitated. "Just for a little while."

She offered a small smile but no further argument as she scooted onto the bed with him. He settled back with her head on his shoulder, and closed his eyes. It felt so good to have her next to him that he never wanted to sleep again. It was enough for him that he could feel her tucked against his side, her arm across his waist. Within moments, she was asleep, her breathing deep and even. He settled his arms around her, holding her as tightly as he dared, wishing that he could keep her this close forever. A fleeting memory flashed through his mind, there and quickly gone. He frowned searching his mind for it, but gave up as exhaustion set in. Everything would come back to him in time, but right now, he was holding the woman he loved as she slept. That was by far the greater miracle.

With soft feel of her hair against his face, Ray closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.