First off, as always, we want to thank everyone who has given us their feedback on the past chapters to this piece. We really do appreciate your comments. We want to apologize for the wait on this chapter as well. We've got other projects in the works and sometimes the minutes slip away from us. We hope that this chapter will make up for the wait. Please, let us know what you think of this chapter as well.

Yours,

butterflyswest and Erin Allen

7

Neela woke with the feel of someone gently poking her arm. She turned with a small moan, her eyes slitted against the glare in the room. Why is it so bright in here? Her first thought was of Ray, and she sat bolt upright to look down at his face. His color was good, and his eyes moved in REM sleep beneath his lids. Breathing a sigh of relief, she turned her head to see Abby standing by the bed, grinning at her.

"Morning, sunshine."

Neela scowled at her until she realized what she had said. She glanced at the window and back again.

"I slept through the night?" she asked incredulously. "I thought you were coming by last night after your shift."

Abby's smile widened.

"We did," she said. "Luka and I. You two looked so peaceful sleeping there that we didn't want to wake you. I knew that you haven't been getting much sleep lately."

Neela felt her face heat up, but she couldn't help but smile. She never would have believed that she could have slept so soundly scrunched up with Ray on a bed made for one occupant, but she had. She felt more rested than she had since she'd lived in his apartment. She looked back down at his face as he began to stir. His hand sought her out before his eyes even opened, clutching at her arm as if to reassure himself that she was still there. When his eyes opened, and he smiled up at her, she thought that her heart would stop beating right then.

"Hey, Ray," Abby said quietly. "How are you feeling?"

His eyes darted to her, and he pushed himself up. His gaze went from her face to the bulge of her belly and back again.

"I feel good, considering I've been asleep for a month. How are you?" he asked seriously.

Her eyes dropped from his to where her fingers plucked at the blanket.

"We're fine," she said softly before she looked up at his face. "Thank you, Ray."

Relief flooded through him, as he looked away, his face heating with embarrassment.

"Well, at least it got me some time off work," he said to cover his discomfort. "Too bad I can't walk and the band's in California. Otherwise…"

"Ray!" Neela said sharply.

He grinned at her as she stared at him sternly.

"What? I'm just kidding. I'm not going anywhere." At least not without you, his mind finished for him.

She raised an eyebrow and pushed herself from the bed. Ray felt the loss of her beside him immediately and had to fight the urge to pull her back.

"Where are you going?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound as desperate as he felt.

"I have something I have to do," she said, a grin breaking out across her face. "I'm just going to leave you in Abby's hands for a little while."

Ray relaxed a little at the look in her eyes. He'd seen that look before. If she was up to teasing him, then she would be back, if only to see his reaction.

What he didn't expect was her lunge at the bed to place an almost chaste kiss on his cheek or the feel of her hand gently stroking the back of his neck. The feel of her cool fingers touching his skin was enough to get his blood boiling and send chills down his spine at the same time.

"I'll be back," she whispered in his ear as she bounded for the door.

Ray looked at Abby in stunned silence, and she grinned back.

"Well, I didn't see that coming," she said, laughter evident in her voice.

Neither had he, but he wasn't going to complain. A kiss was a kiss, and he'd take them all if they came from her. He glanced at Abby and cleared his throat.

"Neela told me that Jerry was hit," he said to cover his embarrassment. Her expression turned serious, but her sharp eyes remained on him.

"Yes. He's home now, recovering well," she told him.

He raised an eyebrow at her tone and settled his back against the wall.

"And everyone else? No one else was hurt?"

"Everyone's fine," she said, her voice telling him that she didn't want to get into it now. "Everyone's been worried about you," she said.

"Tell them not to worry about me," he scoffed, but he couldn't help but smile. "So when are you and Luka getting married?"

Abby searched his face for a moment. With a sigh, she moved toward a chair and lowered her bulk into it with a grimace.

"Why don't you ask what you really want to, Ray?"

He opened his mouth to deny it, but he couldn't. Abby, for some reason, always saw through him. She always knew when he was hiding something. He sighed, knowing it was useless to lie.

"I don't really know where to start," he said.

She tilted her head a little, her piercing gaze boring into him.

"Why don't we start with what's happening between you and Neela?"

His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened.

"Nothing," he stammered. "Why does everyone think…"

"Oh, come on, Ray! Let's cut the crap. First, we find out that she's your next of kin…"

"And you know that how?" he asked, narrowing his eyes on her.

"Because I'm the one that had to make the call," she shot back. "Why, Ray? Why would you list her as your next of kin?"

He tore his eyes from hers to stare up at the ceiling.

"I never thought I'd have to use that thing," he said harshly.

"That's what you get for thinking," Abby said dryly. "But it still doesn't answer my question."

Ray rolled his eyes.

"All I'm going to say is that it's a long story and I really don't want to get into it," he ground out finally. "Especially not with Neela coming back any minute."

Abby continued to glare at him until he looked away. Finally she sighed.

"Fine then. Keep your secrets, but I just want to know one thing."

"Oh, God! What now?"

She gave him a sharp look.

"Calm down, Ray. If I get you riled up, Neela's likely to have my head. I just want to know…"

"What is it you want to know, Abby?" he lashed out. "I did everything I could, but she just shut me out. She wouldn't talk to me. She wouldn't return my calls, not even after Michael died. Now this happens," he said, throwing his arms out to indicate the hospital room. "The thing is, I was as shocked as anyone to find her here when I woke up…"

He trailed off with a frown, a half formed memory bubbling to the surface. He closed his eyes as pain stabbed him right through his head. He pressed his palm to his temple as the images came at him, faster and faster. He heard Abby say his name with a note of alarm in her voice, and he opened his eyes to look at her in shock. He'd lied. He hadn't been surprised to find her with him. In fact, he'd been expecting it.

"Abby…" he began, not really knowing how to continue.

"God, Ray! Are you all right?" she asked, pushing herself from the chair. She immediately went into doctor mode, her fingers reaching for his wrist to check his pulse. He wrenched his hand away in irritation.

"I'm fine," he told her. "But I just remembered something."

She raised an eyebrow at him as if she didn't quite believe him and settled herself back in her seat.

"What did you remember that made your face go white? Whatever it is, I really would like to know."

He made a face and looked away. The memory was fuzzy, fragmented, but it was there, and he didn't really want to share it. He didn't want her to think he was nuts. He grinned suddenly. What the hell? She already thought he was nuts, he might as well go all the way.

"You're gonna think I'm crazy," he said hesitantly.

She crossed her arms over her chest.

"It's no crazier than some things I've heard, and trust me, I've heard some crazy stories in the past few weeks."

Ray gave her a skeptical look, but sensed some double meaning in her words. Her expression betrayed nothing as she settled her arms over her belly, waiting patiently for him to explain himself. He blew out a breath and looked down at his hands.

"I had a dream about Michael Gallant."

She stared at him for a long silent moment before she uncrossed her arms and sat a little higher in her seat.

"Tell me," she said slowly.

"I really don't remember much," he said ruefully. "Most of it's in pieces. I remember seeing myself in the OR, and he was there, talking to me."

"And what did he say?"

Ray frowned against the headache that was beginning to form between his temples.

"That Neela needed me," he said softly. "That much I remember. And there was something later."

"What?" she asked when he hesitated. Her face was set as a stone, and he couldn't tell anything of what she was thinking from either her expression or tone. He shook his head.

"All I really remember is talking to him again, not really what was said. And when I woke up, I knew that she would be here. I didn't even question it, I just knew." He shot her a sheepish look. "Nuts, right?"

"I didn't say that," she hurried to assure him.

"You didn't have to," he told her sharply. "My problem is, how do I tell her that I…"

"That you love her?" she asked when he broke off. "Don't think we don't know. Everyone in the ER can see it."

He grimaced, remembering what Morris had said to him. He could just imagine what everyone was saying.

"Her husband just died, Abby. How the hell can I tell her how I feel about her now?"

Abby sighed. "Do you love her, Ray? Really love her?"

"Yeah," he sighed finally. "It's why she moved out of our apartment. I think she feels the same way, but with her, it's sometimes hard to tell." He looked at her miserably. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

She smiled.

"You may not have meant for it to happen, but it did…for both of you. I saw the two of you together, and I saw her eyes light up whenever she was around you."

"You're nuts!" he said, a warm feeling settling in his gut. "That didn't really…"

"Yes, it did. And if that isn't enough to convince you, then the fact that she hasn't left this hospital room since you were brought in here should. Even if she doesn't say it, she loves you."

Ray looked away, feeling a slow grin spread across his face. He hadn't been sure, not really. He'd had suspicions and conjecture, but nothing concrete to tell him that Neela loved him. He couldn't declare his feelings for her on a hunch. It didn't change the fact that everyone already knew what he'd never had the foresight to see. Even Gallant, if he'd really been in his dream, knew what Ray felt for Neela, and what Neela felt for him.

"This is nuts, Abby. Why didn't I ever see it?"

"You were too close to it. We were all on the outside looking in." She paused, a faraway look in her eyes as she continued. "No one ever expects to fall in love with someone. Especially not the last person in the world they thought they'd turn to. It happens, Ray. You're not the first and you probably won't be the last."

He ran his hands through his hair and grimaced.

"What the hell am I gonna do?"

She laughed. "If I had a nickel for every time I heard that phrase in the past few weeks, I'd be rich."

"Way to be sensitive to my pain, there, Lockhart. What happened to pregnancy making women more caring? Nurturing..?"

"A complete myth," she said laughing.

"Funny," he said dryly. "I suppose that this will all become gossip fodder soon."

"Not from me. I won't say a word."

He sighed with relief. At least he didn't have to worry about that at the moment. He had other, more important things to think about. Like how the hell he was going to tell Neela about his dreams, about his feelings…about anything that mattered in the broader course of things. He needed time to think, to plan. He was suddenly tired again, though he couldn't think how that was possible. He'd been sleeping for too long as it was.

He glanced at Abby and thought again about what she'd told him. Neela hadn't left this hospital or him since the moment she'd found out. On the one hand, it made him feel good that he hadn't been utterly alone throughout this. He'd had someone who cared about him by his side. On the other, it made him sad to be the reason that she hadn't been living. She'd been waiting for him, shut up in the dark in a lonely vigil.

"I need for you to do me a favor, Abby," he said finally. "Take Neela out of here. Make her leave for a while."

"Do you think I haven't tried?" she laughed. "I've done everything I could to get her to go home and sleep for a few hours at least. The best I could do was stay here while she got a shower and clean clothes. Other than that…" She shrugged, showing how useless an endeavor that was.

"Well, she needs to get out of here for a while," he said stubbornly. "She needs the break, and I need to think. I have to figure out what I'm going to tell her…"

"Tell me what?" Neela asked as she returned to the room.

Ray forced a smile.

"Tell you to get out of here for a while," he said. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. He didn't pause to feel guilty about it. It was all for the greater good after all. "I talked Abby into taking you out to dinner."

Neela frowned and bit her lip, looking between the two of them.

"I don't think…"

"Neela, you've been cooped up here for a month," Abby said smartly. "You need to get out for a little while. Get a decent meal for a change. Hospital food really will kill you."

She smiled suddenly at the joke, and Ray thought his heart would just stop. That was the Neela he remembered. The one who really smiled, lighting up her face. He'd missed that smile. He'd missed a lot of things about her. Hell, he'd even missed her nagging if he got right down to it. He was only grateful that Abby had caught on as quickly as she had.

Neela glanced at him then, her eyebrows raised in question.

"Do you want me to go?" she asked quietly.

Did he want her to go? Not at all. He wanted nothing better than to have her at his side for the rest of his life, but he wasn't selfish enough to keep her here.

"It's just dinner," he said slowly, reluctantly. "And I want to ask you to do something for me."

"What?" she asked, suddenly suspicious.

"I'd really like something better to wear than this," he said, plucking at the hospital gown with distaste.

She laughed and shook her head.

"God forbid anyone see you in that," she said, amused. "Anything else? A cheeseburger, pizza, maybe some cereal?"

He laughed.

"All of it sounds great. I'll take one of every one of those, and something else." He paused and gave her a pleading look. "Could you bring me my guitar?"

She froze, her eyes going shiny with sudden tears.

"I can do that," she said softly.

Their gazes locked and held, a myriad of messages in both. There were so many things to say, so many emotions wrapped into those looks, that Ray didn't know if they would ever be able to get them all out. God knew, he loved her, but that wasn't what scared him. What worried him was would she let him love her?

"We'd better get going," Abby said suddenly, struggling up from her seat and grumbling about it. "Now that we finally got her to agree, I don't want her to change her mind."

Neela glanced at Abby then back at Ray.

"I'll be fine," he told her, seeing the question in her eyes. "Don't worry about me."

She frowned stubbornly, and he couldn't help but smile. Neela would worry if she damn well wanted to, and he could see that in her eyes. She stepped closer to the bed, and took his hand in both of hers.

"I'll be back in a little while," she told him, the look in her eyes warming him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said lightly. "And no anchovies on my pizza either."

She smiled and turned to go, giving his hand a final squeeze. He watched her go, sweeping from the room like a summer wind. Abby followed, pausing long enough to wink at him before she too was gone, leaving him with nothing but his thoughts.

He wasn't sure what he was going to do about his dream, whether he should tell her or not. It made no sense that it would be his subconscious. He hadn't been close enough to Gallant to have that man be his Jimminy Cricket. And he didn't know if he should tell Neela and cause her more pain. He'd already caused her enough as it was.

He settled back on the bed, his mind abuzz with questions, uncertainty. States that he'd rarely suffered before.

Now however, he had so much more to lose.