Wow, It's been a while since this was updated! We hope that you'll all forgive us for that. RL kind of came up and blindsided us. Please let us know what you think of this chapter as well...whether or not it was worth the wait...lol. And, as always...

Yours,

butterflyswest and Erin Allen

8

"So, where did you go?" Abby asked once they were in the elevator.

Neela laughed. "To call the band. They're still at the hotel. I think I woke Brett up."

"You don't sound sorry for that," Abby laughed as she stepped from the lift into the ER hallway.

"Not a chance. And he wasn't either when I told him that Ray was awake."

"So they're coming?"

"They'll be here before we get back, I'm sure. Which means I have to get back soon with that guitar."

Abby rolled her eyes as they left the hospital and headed for the station. "First, I'm buying you breakfast. You haven't eaten anything worth a crap in weeks."

Neela stifled her annoyance. She didn't want to leave. She didn't want to be gone for too long. If it had been anyone but Ray suggesting that she leave, she would never have done it. Now that she was out, all she could think of was Ray sitting there all alone. She had wasted so much time…

"Neela!"

"What?" she asked, embarrassed that she'd been caught daydreaming. Abby only laughed.

"You've got it bad," she said, taking hold of her arm. She practically dragged her across the street and toward the café. Neela said nothing, though heat flooded her face. She couldn't deny it. She did have it bad. She smiled as they entered, fighting the last of the breakfast crowd. She never would have thought that she could fall as hard as she had for a rocker, but she had. Ray was everything that she wasn't. Confident, cocky, disorganized, but the way he made her feel… That was what she had been missing.

"Earth to Neela…come in, Neela."

Neela snapped her head around to find Abby staring at her with one eyebrow raised. She ducked her head.

"Sorry."

Abby made a rude noise and glanced up at the waitress that approached. They placed their orders and waited until the woman came back with coffee before anything else was said. When Neela saw Abby turn that hard glare on her, she sighed, knowing that she was in for it.

"So, I take it that you haven't told him yet."

Neela opened her mouth, intending to ask her friend what she was talking about, but shut it again. She knew exactly what Abby was referring to. There was no point in denying it.

"No, I haven't. There hasn't been time."

"What are you waiting for, Neela? He needs to know that you love him."

Neela's face went hot. In point of fact, her whole body went hot.

"I never said…"

"Dammit! When are you going to stop playing this denial game? You're both worse than a couple of children."

"Am not," Neela said with a cheeky smile.

Abby rolled her eyes before glancing down at her belly.

"Pray that you're an only child," she said smartly, before looking back at Neela. "You have to tell him."

"I know. I will. It just hasn't been the right time." Neela paused, slowly sipping her coffee. "I've been thinking…"

"There's your trouble right there," Abby said with a smile.

"…About the dream that I had of Michael," Neela continued, ignoring her friend's barbed insult, knowing it for what it was…a sick attempt at humor. She looked down into her coffee cup. She didn't see Abby's sudden stillness or the look of wary shock on her face. "I was thinking that you were right. Maybe it was just my subconscious."

Abby said nothing. She wasn't sure what she should say. This was beyond freaky. This was some next level stuff. She was just an ER doctor. She didn't believe in the "Great Beyond". But Neela and Ray having a dream about Michael? That was just too coincidental.

"Does it really matter now anyway?" she asked. "He's awake. You have the chance to do what should have been done a long time ago."

Neela smiled, heat blooming in her belly to spread throughout her body. Yes, she had another chance. The chance that she hadn't dared hope for. It was in her grasp at last, but would he still accept it? Her smile faltered, worry creeping in to chill her. She had so much to make up for. Harsh words had been spoken, actions taken or avoided. She had hurt him. Would he really be able to forgive her when all was said and done?

She didn't know, but as she ate, she decided that she was willing to take that chance. She had to. There was no other choice.

When they left the café, Neela felt as if her heart would just burst. She was going home. The home that she had made with Ray. It didn't matter to her that it was only for a few moments to get his clothes and guitar. The memories there were enough for her.

"I just bloody hope that I won't have to fight off a horde of creatures when we get there," she muttered under her breath, only half joking.

Abby gave her a startled look.

"What are you talking about?"

"He was such a slob when I lived there," Neela said as they left the train. "I just hope that there aren't roaches the size of house cats in there. He's been gone for a month."

Abby shuddered.

"Nice visual," she said sourly. "If nothing else, I'll go in first and you can cover my back."

Neela laughed as they mounted the stairs to his apartment. She made a show of unlocking the door, and Abby, playing along, shoved it open and went first. Neela waited until she heard a low whistle.

"What?" she asked.

"This place is like a cracker box," Abby remarked. "How did two of you live here?" Neela heard footsteps then silence. "You know, if this is how a slob lives, then sign me up."

Frowning, Neela pushed past her to stare in amazement. The place was immaculate. Books lined the shelves in order. CD cases were stacked neatly in the tower or on the shelf beside the stereo. There were no dirty clothes on the couch, chair or floor. She turned around to look in the kitchen and her jaw dropped. Dishes were sitting in the drainer not stacked in a filthy pile beside the sink. In fact, there was nothing on the counter at all except for the coffee maker and toaster.

"This must have been a hardship," Abby said mildly. "Living with the ultimate neat freak." She paused with a sly grin. "Not to mention all the intimate encounters in the hallway. Seeing him without a shirt when he got out of the shower…"

Neela felt heat rush to her face as she turned to glare at her. Abby only laughed and let her gaze wander over the front rooms. Neela really hadn't needed a reason to think of that, but now that she had, the picture was in her head. She cleared her throat to cover her embarrassment.

"He was never like this…"…when I lived here, her mind finished. She glanced around, searching for his prized possession and frowned. The stand where it usually resided was empty. Turning toward the hall, she wondered if it was in his room. Her nose wrinkled. She didn't want to go in that room. She could accept that he would keep the front rooms clean, but his own room? That was stretching it. Likely, the mess had simply migrated from the apartment to his bedroom.

"I guess I should check his room," she said reluctantly. "He still wants clothes…"

"Yeah, we've got to get you back to the hospital. Wouldn't want to be gone too long."

Neela gave her an exasperated look, and Abby held out her hands defensively.

"Sorry, I'll stop." She looked back at Ray's door. "Well, are you going in or not?"

When Neela didn't move, Abby rolled her eyes.

"Good God! It can't be that bad," she said as she went to his bedroom door. Flinging open the door she simply stood staring. "Oh, yeah. This is a nightmare, " she said sarcastically.

Neela crossed the room to stand beside her friend. She couldn't believe it. This room was as clean as the rest of the place. His bed was even made. Neela could only gape in astonishment. She gave Abby a startled look.

"I don't see the guitar in here," her friend said, seemingly unaffected by the complete turnaround in Neela's once chaotic roommate.

Neela wished that she could be the same. She couldn't even define the emotions that were churning through her. There was annoyance, or something resembling it. He'd never been like this when she had lived here. She'd spent half her time picking up after him just so she could walk through the apartment without tripping. Confusion was her chief emotion however. Why had he done this? She sighed and entered the room, pulling out drawers on the dresser. It was one of a score of questions that she had to ask when she got back to the hospital. Abby came in, turning in a slow circle, her eyes scanning the room.

"His guitar isn't in here," she said, opening the closet to look.

"I looked in there already," Neela said as she stuffed tee shirts and sweats into a bag she had fished out of the closet. "I don't know where it could be then."

"What about your old room?"

Neela paused and glanced at her. "I don't know why it would be in there," she said as she returned to her task.

"He's likely using it for storage."

Abby shrugged and left the room. "Doesn't hurt to look," she called over her shoulder.

She was back a moment later, her face carefully blank.

"I think you should come see this," she said softly.

Neela froze, her eyes widening. Without a word, she left his room and followed Abby down the hall to her old room. Mixed feelings and heart-wrenching memories assailed her as she went. Memories of sleepless nights listening to him through the walls. The bitter memory of leaving. The look in his eyes as he'd stood in the doorway, watching her pack. She quickly shut the door on those memories before they threatened to swamp her. She took a deep breath and edged past Abby to enter.

Nothing had been moved. Everything that she had left behind was still in the same place, as if waiting for her to return. She felt the breath slam from her chest as her eyes took it in. Her gaze came to rest on the bed, the only part of the room that had been touched. His guitar lay resting on the blanket beside scattered sheet music. The rumpled blanket told the story. He'd sat there, on her bed, writing music. With a trembling hand, she pulled one sheet of music from the bed and scanned the top. Tears filled her eyes, blurring the words.

Her Song

"He wrote a song for you," Abby said softly.

"Don't be ridiculous," Neela said, but the tone lacked conviction. He'd written this for her. Somehow, deep in her heart, she knew it. Quickly, she gathered up the music into a neat stack, passing it to Abby. She grabbed the guitar, surprised as always at its weight. "We'd better get this back to him," she said softly, unable to even force a smile. Her emotions were too raw for any of that. Abby gave her an understanding look and a half smile before she turned and left the room.

Neela stayed where she was a moment, cradling the instrument in her arms. She closed her eyes, just letting the air around her draw away her tension. He'd been in her room. He'd sat right there, writing music for her.

For her.

She took another deep breath, trying to stave off the tears that threatened. She really had so much to atone for. Even after she had hurt him so badly, he'd still thought enough of her to put his feelings to music. That alone told her how much he truly did care about her. With a sigh, she opened her eyes, taking one last look around. If all went well, she would be returning to this room soon. She didn't kid herself that she could have anything more with him. There were so many things that needed to be said before that could happen.

Quietly, she left the room, closing the door behind her.