We want to thank everyone who has read and/or reviewed the past chapters of this story. We truly do appreciate all the input you've given, and the wonderful comments calling for MORE MORE! It truly is gratifying to a writer(s) to know that someone likes their work. So thank you, all. Now, with no more ado, we give you Chapter Twelve.

Yours,

butterflyswest and Erin Allen

12

She made them leave before nine that night. She could see by the look on Ray's face that he was beyond exhaustion. She didn't blame him one bit. She was completely healthy and Brett alone could drain her. Add three more and it was enough to make anyone want to slip into a coma. She expected them to throw a fit when she finally put her foot down, but they didn't. Matt protested, but in drunken monosyllables that only the very sotted would understand with any clarity. Nick and Ben got him out into the hall without too much trouble. He wasn't certain where he was to begin with.

Brett paused for only a minute, leaning down to give Ray another awkward hug before turning to her.

"Take care of him," he said under his breath, his eyes dark with conviction before he gave her a rib-cracking hug. With a promise to come back the next day, he was gone, closing the door behind him quietly. She could only stare at the closed door in astonishment. That had almost been too easy.

She knelt down in front of Ray, her eyes never leaving his face. She sighed inwardly. She had wanted to talk to him tonight, to tell him everything that was in her heart, but she could see that even now was not the time. His eyes were ringed with dark bruise colored rings, and he was still too wan for her liking. He could barely keep his eyes open, though he was giving a noble effort to try.

"Are you all right?" she asked, taking his wrist to check his pulse.

He pulled his hand away and gave her a reproving look.

"I'm just tired, Neela. I'm not sick."

She blew out a breath and swallowed down the scathing remark that hovered just behind her lips. She was there to make certain that he wasn't relapsing. She had a job to do. Her personal feelings only strengthened her resolve to do her job right.

Ray grimaced, cursing himself inwardly when her jaw tightened in irritation. He hadn't meant to sound so…ungrateful. It just grated on his nerves that he had so much he wanted to do, and just didn't seem to have the strength to do any of it. He wanted to talk to her, tell her that he loved her as Brett so tactlessly had put it. He wanted to draw her into his arms and never let her go. He wanted to erase the pain he sometimes saw in her eyes when she thought he wasn't looking. But he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore.

He tried to push himself from the couch, but fell back when his muscles protested. Christ! He felt like he'd been lifting weights all day without a break. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this sore. Gritting his teeth, he tried again, but still couldn't make it. He shot her a dark look when she held out a pill and a glass of water.

"Just a little something for the pain," she said. "By the time I get done with you, you'll wish you had more."

He scowled, knowing exactly what she meant by that. His muscles had started to atrophy during his coma, and he was almost as helpless as a newborn. Couple that with the weight loss from no substantial food, and even he couldn't deny that he had no reserves to fall back on. He'd have to deal with the pain meds for a while.

"I hate taking this crap," he said sullenly as he popped the pill in his mouth and downed it with water.

"You don't have to, you know," she said with a smile. "You could just suffer like the stubborn male that you are."

He looked up at her in surprise and couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her smile. He glanced away toward his room and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I hate to ask you this, but can you get me to bed? I don't know if I'll make it."

"All I can do is try," she said rising to her feet. "If we both fall on our heads, don't blame me."

He held out both his hands and pushed out his bottom lip like a toddler begging for sweets. She had to laugh at him as she took his hands and pulled. After a few tugs, a near fall, and a heavy groan from him, she finally got him to his feet and headed in the general direction of his room.

"Bloody hell, Brett was right," she panted. "You are heavy."

"I could have made it myself," he said, leaning heavily against her. She gave him a look that said she didn't believe him for a minute, but he'd been no more than truthful. He might have been unsteady, but just thinking of her pressed against him as he wove his way to the bedroom was enough to make him tell just this one little white lie. What guy wouldn't, he thought as he looked down at her.

Her face was flushed with exertion, and when she bit her lip, he almost moaned at the sight. He'd been dreaming of having her all to himself for so long, that he couldn't help but be affected when it was finally a reality. Now, if only he could get the stubborn words out, everything would be all right.

Maybe.

He fell with an exaggerated sigh onto the bed when she just let go of him unexpectedly. He raised an eyebrow at her, trying to hide the impact her heavy breathing was having on him.

"What happened to your bedside manner?" he teased. "Letting me just fall can't be standard hospital procedure."

"We're not in the hospital anymore are we?" she shot back, her eyes twinkling. "Besides, don't you know that surgeons don't have a bedside manner? It's not permitted."

"Well, if Albright is any indication, then I see your point."

They both fell silent, staring at each other as if waiting for the other to begin speaking. He couldn't help the wave of emotion that rose in him at the sight of her, framed in the doorway, the light behind her creating a nimbus around her hair. Ray felt the words he wanted to say gather at the back of his throat, but when he looked at her, he couldn't force them out. He didn't know what the hell was stopping him. It wasn't like he was afraid.

Was it?

He swallowed hard and opened his mouth to speak.

"Good night," he said softly and cursed himself for being such an ass. He doubly cursed when her face fell, and she turned toward the door, doing her best to hide her disappointment.

"Good night, Ray," she whispered, her voice sounding choked. She paused at the door and blew out a breath. "I'll sleep on the couch tonight in case you need anything," she said with her back to him. He grimaced at the hurt he heard from her. He tried again.

"Thank you, Neela. For everything," he said finally, failing yet again to get out what he wanted so desperately to say. She nodded and left the room, flipping off the light switch as she went.

He fell back on the bed with his hand over his eyes. What the hell was wrong with him? He should have just told her. To hell with the consequences. If she left…after, then there was nothing he could do about it. At least this time, she would be leaving with full knowledge of what he felt for her. He couldn't do any more than that. He couldn't make her love him. But, there was another part of him that still hurt over what had gone on between them. That part was still aching and wouldn't let him say the things he needed to say.

He knew that she had questions to ask him. He owed her explanations on a great many things, but he needed explanations from her too. The questions and uncertainties swirled around in his brain until pure exhaustion pulled him down into the depths.

Ray slept.

And began to dream.

000000

Neela lay awake on the couch, her mind awhirl with all that had happened that day. She was tired. More so than she would have thought possible, but she still couldn't relax enough to find true rest. She touched her eyelids with her fingertips, trying to ease the ache behind them.

She'd almost blurted out everything in his room just to lighten the burden in her mind. Then he'd said good night, as if he didn't want to hear it. Or maybe he was as tired as he'd let on. Maybe she was just deluding herself about the light she'd seen in his eyes when he had looked at her. Perhaps it was no more than wishful thinking on her part, and he was only tolerating her. Bullocks! If only she could be as brave as Abby seemed to think she was. She would have already said all of these things, and she could sleep easy knowing that she had at least told him the truth.

She didn't know how long she laid there, her thoughts turning in on her, threatening to eat her alive, destroying every chance she had to sleep. She very nearly missed the first low moan. Sitting up slowly, a frown creasing her brow, she cocked her head to listen. Nothing. The apartment was silent but for the creak and mutter of water pipes in the apartment above. She slid back down, her ears straining when the sound came again. This time, it was recognizable and distinctly louder.

Quickly, she threw the blanket to the floor and jumped to her feet, only to freeze in sudden fear. He'd cried out her name, but in no way she'd ever heard before. Especially not from him. His voice was urgent and tinged with desperate fear or agony, she couldn't tell which. Her breath hitched in her chest as her body broke out in goose flesh, and she fought with her fear. She felt almost like a child, terrified of the strange sounds coming from the dark, afraid of the bogeyman in the closet. But when he cried out her name again, she swallowed hard, and ran.

000000

What the hell..? was all Ray had time to think before all hell did break loose. His first instinct was to duck behind the counter, but realized suddenly that that was futile. The bullets were ripping through the flimsy wood without pause, blowing splinters free to fly across the floor and offering no protection whatsoever. He frantically scanned reception and froze. Abby was at the desk, ducking down behind the counter.

He didn't give it a second thought. Ray ran across reception toward Abby, trying to keep his head down as the bullets started flying in her direction. Christ! If she got hit then Luka would go insane. The board shattered around them as a stray bullet hit it, raining glass and debris down over them. He caught her as she fell, twisting his body to shield her from the majority of the shards.

He couldn't move fast enough to take the full impact of their fall, and he ended up landing right on top of her. He threw his hand over his head, trying at the same time to cover her too. After what seemed like an eternity, the sounds of gunfire ceased, and there was only the over whelming sound of silence before the screaming began.

Ray raised his head scanning the devastation around them. Christ, what a friggin mess. He snapped his head back to look down at Abby, praying that she was all right. His lungs seemed to freeze up and his eyes widened in fear. Lying on the floor beneath him wasn't Abby, but Neela…and she was bleeding.

"Neela!" he called out frantically as he checked her pulse. He swore harshly, his heart in his throat at the uneven beat beneath his fingers. He glanced down at the dress she was wearing and fresh fear pricked him at the spreading red stain. She was covered in blood. He looked down at his clothes and found that his clothes were soaked too. He touched his shirt and his fingers came away red. Blood. Neela's blood. Panic seized him, and he screamed out for someone to help him. Anyone. Turning his attention back to Neela, he called out her name, his voice growing hoarse with his panic.

Suddenly, hands seized his shoulders and began to shake him. He fought to push them away, but couldn't dislodge whoever it was. Dammit! He needed to save her. She was all he cared about…

"Ray, for the love of God, wake up!"

He snapped awake at the sound of her voice, his heart in his throat with the residual fear from his dream. He shoved himself up and looked around the room in a panic, for a moment almost expecting to see the reception area around him, littered with debris. But no, this was his room. His apartment. And Neela's hands were gently touching his face.

He turned to look at her and couldn't speak. Her eyes were dark with worry as she searched his eyes. Without thought, he reached out and pulled her close, burying his face in her hair. He was just so glad that he'd only been dreaming, that he no longer cared if she wasn't ready for him to state his feelings. He needed to hold her, to assure himself that it had only been a dream, that she was indeed alive and safe.

"I was…Jesus, Neela! The place was being blown away. And you…you were bleeding…"

"Shhh, I'm here," she said softly, her arms sliding around him, her hands stroking his hair. "It'll be all right," she murmured when he pulled her even closer, his arms nearly crushing the breath from her body. She didn't care if he broke a rib. She needed this just as much as he did. He'd scared her badly when he'd cried out her name as if the world was ending. She'd heard the cries of the bereaved before. She'd heard the screams of the dying while on ride-alongs. But the sound of his anguished cries would haunt her until the day she died. She had never heard anything so full of hopelessness, and doubted that she ever would again.

"I need to tell you something," she said softly. "But I need you to answer something first."

He pulled back only far enough to look down at her, his arms still holding her tightly against him. He closed his eyes as her hand stroked his cheek, wiping away the suspicious moisture there. He hadn't realized that he'd begun to cry in his sleep, but he couldn't be ashamed of it now. Not with her body melting into his and her hands on his face and in his hair. What else could he do but wait expectantly for her to speak?

"Why, Ray? Why was I your next of kin?"

He could only stare at her for a long moment, unsure of what to say. A hundred different explanations floated through his tired mind. He could tell her about his parents and the brother he'd lost in a car accident when he was eight. He could tell her about the family that he refused to acknowledge because they had turned their backs on him long ago. He could even tell her the same crap he'd spouted to Abby just that morning, that he had never thought he would need it. But none of that was the full truth.

"Because I love you," he said, finally telling the truth and shaming the devil. "Didn't you know that?"

Her eyes filled with tears before she closed them and lowered her head. He wiped away one stray tear that escaped, his heart thudding painfully against his ribs.

"I know that you aren't ready to hear this," he said when it became obvious that she wasn't going to say anything. "But I've loved you for so long that when you left it almost killed me. The only way I could deal with it was to write the music you found today. I know that this isn't what you want to hear…"

"You don't know everything," she said, her voice unsteady with tears as she finally raised her head to look into his eyes. Her lip quivered as her gaze followed the path her fingers made as they skimmed lightly over his cheek to his lips. She traced the outline of his lower lip, lingering there. Her mouth opened as if to speak, but instead, she leaned forward and kissed him as if her life depended on it.

Ray couldn't have been more surprised if she had simply slapped him, but this was infinitely sweeter than a blow. He groaned at the taste of her, devouring her just as surely as she did him, his hands tightening in the folds of her shirt, holding on for dear life. Her soft hair slid across his hands, teasing him to madness. He plundered her mouth with his tongue, taking his time to savor the feel of her, the taste of her, her unique scent. This was what he'd been dreaming of for so long, but his dreams could never do justice to the real flesh and blood woman in his arms. It was all he could do to hold back his desire for her. He didn't want to scare her off again, and he would die rather than hurt her.

He backed off a little to look down at her. Her eyes were heavy lidded with her own emotions, her lips kiss swollen and reddened. Gently, he tried to soothe her lip with a gentle caress of his thumb before his gaze returned to her eyes.

"Why did you wait for me, Neela?" he rasped out, his voice sounding rough even to his ears. He brushed back a stray hair from her face so he could see her eyes clearly when she answered. He wanted to see in her eyes her answer.

She gave him a small watery smile, leaning her head into his hand and covering it with her own.

"Because I love you," she whispered, her voice ending in a small sob. "Didn't you know that?"

He could not help but laugh softly at her. Leave it to her to tease him while she was making his most fantastic dream come true. With that, he lowered his head to show her exactly what he thought about that.