13

Ray lay quietly, listening to the sound of Neela's breathing as she slept. If anyone had told him months ago that he would be lying in his bed holding this woman, then he would have called them crazy. He had never imagined that this would actually happen. Not like this. Nor had he ever imagined the peace he would experience by simply holding her in his arms. It touched him all the way to his soul that she would fit him so perfectly. He tightened his arms around her, needing to feel the warmth of her body to assure himself that he wasn't dreaming this. It scared him to think that perhaps this wasn't real. That he was still lying in the hospital stuck in a coma.

"You should be sleeping," her voice whispered from the darkness, and he smiled.

"I know. But I don't want to."

She stirred in his embrace, turning over so she could face him. He could barely see her in the low light from the window, but there was a light in her eyes that seemed to brighten the room from within. It was enough. He'd not seen that spark of life in her since…

He didn't want to think of that time. The night she'd left had torn him apart and everything after had only prodded painfully at the wounds. He wasn't ready to deal with all of that yet. Not when she'd finally opened up to him. She would tell him all in her own time.

What if she doesn't? his mind whispered. What if she leaves again?

If she did, he wasn't sure that he would survive it, but wasn't this worth the risk? Wasn't having her with him worth the risk to his heart? He closed his eyes, relishing the silken feel of her hair as it brushed his cheek, letting the scent of her skin seep into him.

"You're thinking too hard," she said, resting her hand on his chest. He shivered at the contact.

"I'm just taking it all in," he said softly. "I don't know if I'm awake or still dreaming."

"You're awake," she assured him quietly. She sighed and closed her eyes, a small frown marring her features. "I…I've missed you."

Ray felt his heart thump in his chest as her confession rolled over him. She opened her eyes to look at him and a tear slid down her cheek to dampen the pillow. He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, wanting nothing more than to take away all the pain he saw in her eyes.

"I almost lost my mind when I came to the hospital that day. I was afraid…" She broke off and took a deep breath as if bracing herself for the worst. "I was afraid that I'd never get the chance to tell you how I felt. I was terrified that…that you would die without knowing how much I love you."

"I didn't know," he admitted. "I thought you wanted me to stay away. All I wanted was to be there for you. I wanted to help you, but you kept…" He blew out a breath before he started ranting. There was so much hurt, so many misunderstandings between them that it was hard not to bring all that out then and there. "I just wanted you to know that I was there," he finished.

"I'm so sorry, Ray. I never meant…"

"I know," he broke in, pulling her close. "We both made mistakes, Neela. I should have told you all of this a long time ago."

"I think I already knew," she sighed. "I saw it the night I left. I just wanted to do the right thing, Ray. I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't want to hurt Michael. But it was bound to happen no matter what. I've felt so guilty for so long, Ray. Not only for what I did to you, but for what I did to him. I fell in love with another man while I was still married." She shook her head, avoiding his eyes. "I sometimes wonder if he knew what I was feeling. I sometimes wonder if that's why he left."

"He knew," Ray said without thinking. He felt his heart leap into his throat when she pulled away to give him a wide-eyed look.

"And how would you know that?" she asked tightly.

Ray looked away and rolled onto his back. His head was starting to pound and he closed his eyes against the pain. Voices echoed through his head, distant but clear, and he pressed his fingertips to his temples. Gallant's voice saying things that Ray had never thought could happen. And behind his eyes, he could see Gallant's mocking smile…

"What is it, Ray? Why did you say that?" she asked sharply, gripping his arm to force him to look at her. "Did Michael say something to you before he left?"

"Not before he left," Ray said faintly, shaking his head. "But I had a dream…"

"What sort of dream?"

Ray glanced at her in surprise at the tightness in her voice. He narrowed his eyes.

"It's more like a memory. Something that actually happened. But that's not possible. It's crazy…"

"Tell me."

"I saw Gal…Michael. When I was in the OR I think. I remember seeing them working on me. And he told me…things about you. And me."

She searched his eyes for a moment before pushing up to lean on her elbow.

"You're not joking are you?" she asked breathlessly.

"No. But that's insane," he rubbed his face with his hands wishing he could rub away the memory of Gallant in his head. He'd wanted to keep that part to himself. He hadn't wanted to hurt her any more than she already was. Not to mention, why would she believe him anyway? Then he stopped and looked at her, his eyes widening. She wasn't laughing at him. She wasn't telling him that she didn't believe a word of it, that he was lying. If fact, she looked almost as if…

"He came to you," Ray whispered in shock. "He talked to you too."

She nodded, her eyes focused on something distant.

"Abby almost had me convinced that it was nothing more than my subconscious telling me that it was all right to move on." She winced. "But this is madness, Ray…"

"Tell me about the video tape," Ray said suddenly. "He told me that he gave you a video tape."

Her eyes sharpened and snapped to his face. Even in the low light, he could see the color drain from her face as alarm kicked in.

"What did you say?"

"The video tape. He told me…"

"Oh my God!" she whispered, covering her face with her hands. "I cannot believe this is actually happening…" A small sob escaped her, and he pushed himself up to take her in his arms.

"Tell me," he ordered quietly. Though he was mostly relieved that he wasn't about to enter the nuthouse, he'd never wanted it to be at her expense. But now that he had her talking, he didn't want her to stop. She'd carried all this for too long all alone. He was here now, and he would honor his promise. Even if it was to a dead man. He would take care of her whether she wanted it or not. There was no other choice. He loved her too damn much.

"He left a tape for me," she said, her voice unsteady. "Telling me his wishes for me should…should anything happen to him. He wanted me to fall in love again. Have children." She drew a deep breath, burrowing her head into Ray's chest. "He wanted me to be happy."

Ray closed his eyes as the memory of those words crashed through his skull like thunder across the lake.

"I do want her to move on…It's what they're meant to do…"

"Are you all right, Ray?"

Her worried voice cut through the haze of pain that engulfed him, and he nodded. He'd come so close. So damn close to losing everything. It scared him that he'd nearly let this all slip away.

"Did he tell you the same thing in your dream?" he asked.

She sniffed.

"Yes." She lifted her head to look at him. Her eyes were dark, liquid pools that he could happily drown in for the rest of his life. "He told me that you needed me."

Ray smiled and tightened his grip on her, enjoying the feel of her arms sliding around him.

"That goes without saying," he said with a small laugh.

"And he told me that I needed you."

Ray stilled waiting with baited breath for her to continue. His heart was beating too hard, pounding the blood through his body until her could hear nothing else. He took a breath and blew it out.

"Was…was he right?" he finally asked.

Her arms tightened around him as she lifted her head to kiss him. It was a devouring kiss, as if she were starving for him, and he could do nothing but return her kiss with just as much hunger. She broke off abruptly, resting her forehead against his.

"Ray, I've never needed anything or anyone more than I need you."

Which was all he'd ever hoped to hear.

And when they finally lay back on the pillows, and she had again fallen into a deep sleep, Ray stayed awake for a long time thinking about all that had happened.

It had never before occurred to him what happened after death. As a doctor, he was witness to death every day. He fought it with everything he had, never considering what happened after. He'd never felt the passage of a soul or seen the grim reaper appear. But now, he wondered about it. It was simply too much of a coincidence that both of them had seen Gallant in their dreams. There may have been reason for Neela, but him? That simply wasn't possible.

Unless it was a true visitation.

Ray sighed and looked down at the woman who slept beside him. Visitation, psychosis, mass hallucination, he didn't care. It had brought them here and that was all that mattered. He'd nearly lost everything, his life, his love…everything without ever realizing just how precious it was. Now, he knew, and he wasn't about to destroy it worrying about the why's and wherefore's. He was through with that. He would do whatever it took to love her the way she deserved.

He closed his eyes and, as he fell asleep, listened to the sound of Gallant's voice.

Take care of her, Doc Rock.

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Author's Note: This is the end, friends. We hope that it lived up to your expectations, for it certainly lived up to ours. We want to thank all of you for the kind words and support while we wrote this. We know that it took a while, but all good things...We do hope that you will let us know what you thought if this. We truly appreciate your comments. :D Until later...

We are yours,

butterflyswest and Erin Allen