Disclaimer: Can you imagine me owning the Final Fantasy VII crew? Nah, I can't either...
When Smokes Go Bad...
Cid Highwind dragged his hands through his short blonde hair for the millionth time while walking down the hallway towards his office.
"Ow!...!#$! Reeve..." He paused to look at the newly found paperclip and sighed. He then continued walking, placing the small metal object into his pocket with the growing pile of other paperclips he had found throughout his clothing and hair after the explosion that had happened moments ago in Reeve's office. Reaching his office, he walked in and shut the door. All he had wanted was an uneventful day where he could sit back and take things at his own pace. ...and He thought with a small smile if taking things at my own pace included a nap here and there...well, it happens... He glanced around the office and his gaze centered on a small box sitting on his desk. #&$!, I could use one of those right now... He started to reach for the pack of cigarettes when another voice entered his head.
...Brace yourself, flashback in 3...2...1...
"You pick up another one of those filthy things again, I'm picking up my packed bags, Cid Highwind!" Shera glared at his still lit lighter, halfway to the smoke dangling from his lips.
"But...baby..." Cid looked plaintively back at her.
"No buts...literally!" She crossed her arms and he dropped his to his sides, noticeably drooping his shoulders in the process.
"Shera, hon...I NEED these..." Cid held up the pack. "They...they..."
"Cid, do you need me?" She fixed The Glare upon him.
Cid slapped a hand to his forehead, gritting his teeth. "Yes..."
That wasn't so tough now, was it?...
He knew the argument was over before it had started, and yes, Shera was the best thing that had happened to him in a long while, but...
He pulled his gaze away from the cigarettes and on to the computer screen. Maybe if I ignore the stupid things... He fought valiantly, but suddenly his hands were away from the keyboard and his eyes were again fixed on the pack on his desk. "Maybe just one..." He muttered under his breath.
"You know you want to." The cigarettes seemed to say back to him.
"But Shera'll kill me..." He complained.
"Not smoking'll get to you quicker, eh?" It countered.
"I've got work to do..." He attempted to brush it aside, but his hand stopped just short.
"After a quick puff or two, you can get to work...c'mon..." His other hand reached to pick the pack up, but it too stopped short.
"What the !$#!, since when does something control Cid Highwind!" He picked up the pack and threw it against the far wall, where it fell into a seldom used chair.
"Ok, that hurt..." It glared at him indignantly.
"Shut up..." He muttered, turning towards the computer.
"You're going to give in sooner or later..." It said in a sing-song voice.
"Not today I won't..." He gritted his teeth.
"But tomorrow you will." It sounded rather smug.
"No way...now shut up!" He threw it the deadliest glare he could muster, the small potted plants in the room withered a little, but it had no effect on the somewhat crumpled, coercive box.
"You could glare better with me, than at me..." He could swear the thing was smiling.
"I ain't touching you any more...you're crazy!" He slammed his palms down on the desk.
"I'm crazy?" It sounded incredulous. "You're the one talking to a pack of cigarettes!"
Cid's retort died, the thing had a point...he was talking to a pack of cigarettes...
"Yeah...you really need a smoke..."
"That does it!" Cid stood up, knocking the chair backwards. "You just had to throw that in!" He stormed over to the small box and picked it up, crushing it in a vice-like grip.
"Can't...breathe..."
"You're a #!$!-ing pack of cigarettes!"
"Ok, so you win that, but I still think..."
Cid threw the pack to the floor and stomped on it.
"Ok, now was that REALLY necessary?!"
He stomped on it again.
"You know..."
STOMP!
"If I had feet..."
STOMP! STOMP!
"I'd be doing the same thing to you!"
Cid sat down, breathing heavily into the chair by the door that the pack had just vacated.
"You know what I think you need..."
In a swift movement, Cid picked the pack up and threw it into the trash forcefully, accompanied by a small yell.
"Ok..." the voice rang hollowly from the can. "We'll talk about this tomorrow..."
Cid was about to reply, but the door swung open and he was met by startling green eyes. "Uh..." was all he could muster at the moment.
The eyes blinked and a soft giggle drifted to his ears. Cid knew of only one person who possessed those eyes and that giggle.
"I'm glad to see you've finally taken control of your habit, Cid!" Aeris, Senior Manager of human resources for ShinRa's Midgar office, straightened and marched over to the trash can. Peering in, she nodded and pointed at the newly deposited pack of cigarettes. "...and stay in there!" She said with mock forcefulness.
"Just you try and make me..." Cid could swear he heard the thing say.
But Aeris was already sitting down next to Cid and complimenting him on his hard work towards a tough goal. Gah... Cid was too tired to even curse. He closed his eyes, ready for a nap. ...I need a smoke...
His eyes snapped open as he realized what he just thought.
"Cid?" Aeris looked at him with concern as he promptly smacked himself in the forehead.
...Insert Intermission Music here:...
Cloud sat at his desk, reading diligently. Or rather, as he fingered the comic book inside the 1,500 page Manager's Guide to Transportation Services, reading what he wanted to diligently. The door to the office swung open and Zack walked in.
"Ha! You should've seen this...OOF!" Zack's greeting was cut short by the Manager's Guide to Transportation Services connecting solidly with his stomach. He glanced at Cloud, slightly apologetic. "Hey now, rules are rules...and there's absolutely no heavy reading for me before..." He glanced at the clock. "...half an hour from now."
"That was for the rubber bands, I'd watch out for any rigged drawers, if I were you." Cloud looked skeptical. "and Lunch time's in a half hour..."
Zack nodded and gingerly gave the book back to his friend, hoping it wouldn't be returned forcefully. "Can't read on an empty stomach..."
Cloud pointed at Zack's hand. "Your stomach's not empty, you just had a breakfast sandwich..."
Zack sat down in his chair. "There, my friend, you are wrong..." He glanced at the open door, thinking quickly. "I just had a breakfast sandwich delivered to me."
Cloud's face screwed up in confusion.
Zack nodded, leaning forward. "...Not only that, but it was given to me by Sephiroth..."
"Sephiroth gave you...a breakfast sandwich?" If Cloud could be any more confused, he'd like to know how it was possible.
"Yup...just dropped this...err...an empty wrapper on the ground, and suddenly he was there, service with a smile!" Zack waved grandly with his arms.
Cloud now knew how it was possible to be more confused...Sephiroth knew how to smile?
"See, now watch!" Zack threw the wrapper on the ground outside the office. "So when he shows up...claim the wrapper as yours...and the free sandwich is yours!"
They both stared at the wrapper sitting motionless on the ground.
...This goes on for a while...
Cloud's phone rang, startling both of them out of their vigilant stare at the piece of trash in the hallway. Blinking rapidly for a moment, Cloud picked up. "Hello?"
"..."
Cloud heard a soft rasp on the other end. He tried again. "Hello?"
"..."
Zack leaned over, curious as Cloud narrowed his eyes. "Who is this?"
"..."
Cloud shook his head. "Alright, I'm hanging up now..." He moved to set the receiver back in its cradle.
"Cloud wait... There's something you must see..." The voice came softly but clearly over the line.
"Vincent? Is that you?" Cloud put the phone back up to his ear.
Zack started to come over to lean on Cloud's desk and listen in, but a movement in the doorway caught his attention. He gulped audibly as he found deadly green eyes staring back at him. Whoa...he came out of nowhere...how'd he do that?
Sephiroth held up the wrapper in his hand, cocking an eyebrow in the process.
Zack pointed at Cloud.
Sephiroth pointed at Zack. "We've got some company policies to...discuss...Zack." Motioning all the while for Zack to follow, Sephiroth turned and stepped back from the doorway.
Zack wondered if Cloud had things right hating Mondays after all...
A/N: Sorry this chapter took a while, I really kind of wanted to get farther on my other story: Live to Fight Again...if you haven't read it and like action, give it a try! (alright, so I've got to get my advertising in somewhere...)...so I took forever in updating this one...not to worry, though, more still to come, and hopefully sooner than this chapter did!
Please review...