DARK REFLECTIONS
CHAPTER 10
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER IN ANY WAY, I JUST PLAY AROUND WITH THEM AND TREAT THEM NICER THAN JOSS. SOMETIMES…
AN: IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I LAST UPDATED, CONSTANTLY GETTING KICKED IN THE NUTS BY WRITER'S BLOCK, BUT LAST NIGHT BEFORE WORK, I PUT THIS DOWN ON PAPER SO YOU COULD READ THE LATEST CHAPTER OF D.R. WHILE THIS BOOK MAINLY FOCUS' ON DANIEL AND HIS INTERACTION WITH THE SCOOBIES, I'M ALSO A VERY HUGE FAN OF SPUFFY SO I'M GIVING DANIEL THE DAY OFF AND I WILL WORSHIP THE GODDESS THAT IS SPUFFY.
Lover's Walk
He wished the pain would go away…
His tortured soul howled in frustration while his demon laughed bitterly at the hurt Spike had caused Buffy. He had told the Slayer he didn't love her. It wasn't true of course; he's still in love with her, even after last year's fiasco. Even after all she did to him, beating and fucking him senseless while he loved her with every fiber in his being, but it had never been good enough for her, his body the scapegoat for her angry release. How could he have been such a bloody nancy? When William hadn't returned to him yet, all that had been left was his demon, yet the Slayer still had made a bleedin' lapdog out of him. The Great Poofter should of warned him, that loving the Slayer meant pain, in more ways than he'd even thought possible. Angelus warned him once, ' To hurt her, you gotta love her.' But in loving her, he'd ended up being hurt, and knocked up with a soul like Peaches.
'You're beneath me…'
She had once said in a dim lighted alley after his lesson on Slayers, he voice cold, distant, reminding him of the immense hurt that Cecily had given him, years ago, causing him to be bitten by Drusilla on the destructive path he had been on. He knew he loved the Slayer, yet he had wanted to kill her. But when he appeared in Buffy's backyard and saw the tears in her eyes, the anger washed away by a sense of protectiveness. He need to be there for her, to comfort her in any way possible, so he sat there silently next to her, patting her shoulder, no words were needed. His presence alone soothing her more than anything that git Captain Cardboard could of done. Silently tears trailed down his cheeks as his soul chose the most painful memories to destroy him.
"You're just an evil, soulless thing. I could never be your girl."
The very words that put him in the soulful state he was in. He couldn't blame her really for the way she mocked him, denying a proof of the love he so freely gave. After all, Angelus had destroyed her ability to love, to acknowledge the fact that a soulless being could love. Perhaps that wanker never really loved Buffy, once his soul was missing he set out on a quest to kill the blonde Slayer. And his departure to L.A., that really set her off, in more ways than one destroying the life she could have had with Riley. No, he didn't blame her for not believing that he loved her, it didn't matter what sacrifices he made, his love would fall short in her eyes. But now that he was alive, with a soul and heartbeat intact, would she believe him now, or would she still reject him? It seemed as if no matter what he gave her, he would just remain as a soulless thing, why didn't she just stake him good and proper? Just rid him of a life with her in it, loving her yet suffering in doing so.
There was a knock on the door to the crypt, and he smelled her, that undeniable scent of vanilla torturing his senses, blinding him in the light that was her. The Master Vampire sobbed as his soul refused to put a bleedin' lid on it, throwing fresh memories in his face. How she denied him, as if he were something to be ashamed of, and how he damn near raped her. "Come in." Spike said, sharp blue eyes raising to meet the face of the Slayer, the very face of redemption that he so badly needed.
"We need to talk, Spike." She said, walking towards him, his senses overloading in her, his cock stiffening in arousal, poking at his tight black jeans.
"About what exactly Slayer, I thought I made it pretty bleedin' clear, the conversation was over, yet here you are once again." Spike spat vehemently. He sat on the edge of his sarcophagus and reached into his jacket for a pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out of his red and white Marlboro box and lit it with his silver Zippo. He pulled on the cigarette, smoke seeping into his not so dead lungs. He blew the cloud of smoke towards Buffy, causing her to cough and give a jaded look.
Green eyes met blue and her beautiful green eyes watered. "How could you be such a prick?" She demanded, standing haughtily a few feet from him. "How, after all the luck I had with men could you do what you did, huh?" Her voice raised a couple of notches and she crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes slightly downcast.
"Cause I'm not your bloody lapdog Slayer. Cause I'm a evil, soulless thing." He replied sharply. "I'm a Master Vampire, that's all you need to know Slayer. What the bloody fuck do you expect from me? No matter if I got the soul and the heartbeat, or got rid of the sun allergies. I'll never be a man, I accept that. I'll just be William the Bloody, Spike aka Slayer of Slayers, one fourth of the Scourge of Europe, murderer of thousands of innocents. That's it, but if I was Peaches, I could kill half the bloody Scoobies, get the soul and poofy hair gel and all's forgiven, no matter how hard I try, all I'll ever be is just that, a monster." He yelled, his voice cracking, and he flicked the cigarette in a corner.
"I'm sorry Spike. Understand what I went through with Angel, and I never dealt with it. But I realize how wrong I was, so wrong, let me make it up to you." Buffy replied, eyes stinging from crying.
"Okay, I want you to kill me Buffy." The statement itself plus the use of her name brought Buffy to her knees, face in her hands.
"Spike, stop it please." She cried out.
"I need you to kill me. Do me in or I'll get Rico Suave to do it." He said, referring to the male, Puerto Rican Slayer. He lit up another smoke, and ripped his black tee, exposing his chest, still mark with wounds from when he'd gotten his soul back.
"I won't Spike." She said, glaring into his blue eyes.
"I'm a bad man Buffy. The thing beneath says so." Spike replied.
"What is it?" Buffy demanded.
"The First Evil. And it's gonna swallow us whole baby." Spike said, gasping for the now necessary oxygen. "And if you don't kill me, he'll use me to hurt you Buffy." Spike continued. "You have to sacrifice me at the seal of Danthazar. It'll stop the dimensional walls to stop bleeding into one another. If not, it'll just be like when Glory used Dawn." Spike said.
"How do you know all this?" Buffy asked, standing up.
"The two months I was in the school basement, he taunted me, telling me part of it's plans. It appeared as you lot, whispering diabolical plans and how he was gonna use me in the apocalypse to kill all of you." Spike whispered.
Buffy gasped. "We can fight him…"
"We will. But you need to kill me. Buffy when Peaches opened up Acathla, you knew you had to kill him then, and now I'm the instrument of your deaths, so kill me now." Spike pleaded. She cut the distance between the two of them and wrapped her arms around him as he sobbed into her hair, knowing that this was the end. He trembled, body shaking with terror, and the forbidden love for a woman he shouldn't love.
"I can't kill you Spike. I love you." She said, lifting her eyes to meet his. "I killed Angel, but I won't kill you. It'd kill me Spike, do you get it now? I love you." She waited for his reaction.
"God I can't do this, I'm such a bloody nancy boy. Buffy, I never topped loving you. I still do, and always will till I'm just dust or dead, and even then if I can form a coherent thought, it'll always be about you." Spike said and bent his head towards Buffy's, and trembling lips met. Reservations faded as the Slayer and Master Vampire kissed, so alike yet so different in many ways. One had been hiding her feelings, shielding herself from the dangers of another relation with a vampire. The other unwillingly wore his heart on his sleeve, while setting a façade to hide the love that awakened the soul in him which he tried so hard to suppress.
Their kisses were soft, unlike the harsh, demanding ones which had encompassed their relationship in the past. Spike felt so intimate with her now as she was utterly vulnerable, allowing him to worship her with his tongue. Tears streamed down his cheeks, he was happy, the happiest he'd ever been dead or alive. An apocalypse was coming, one in which they would face the ultimate evil, the First, the very creator of it. But none of that mattered now, all the mattered was the intense love between the two of them that had been so repressed it threatened to consume the two of them in a blaze of glory. His hands around her waist, fingers pressed softly against her back as she ran fingers through his hair, ruffling the gelled helmet he normally wore.
He captured her lower lip in his mouth, running his tongue along it, worshipping its perfection. His cock was hard and his demon screamed at him to just bloody shag her brains out, but he silenced it, this moment he had waited so long for. Their tender kisses during their faux engagement had been new to the recently chipped vampire, but she had burned her imprint on him, on that he couldn't forget no matter how hard he tried. Her kisses of a promised redemption burned into his mind like an etch-a-sketch that couldn't be erased.
He pulled away, breaking the kiss; it was too much for him right now. His senses were fried, mind numb with shock. Buffy looked at him, green eyes a little saddened. "Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?" She asked, insecure, memories of the night after losing her virginity flooding her mind.
"No pet. That was the happiest moment in my life. Can we rest now?" He pleaded.
"Stay with me at my house. I'd feel a lot safer with you watching over me and Dawn. I know you and Giles are all avoidy, but now that we know that the First wants you, we need to keep you safe." She begged.
He could only nod and kiss her forehead reverently, moving swiftly to grab a change of clothes. "We're gonna have a lot to discuss at the Magic Box tomorrow." Buffy stated. They held hands, and now walked back to 1630 Revello Drive.
The Slayer and vampire, old lovers and now friends.