Chapter Sixteen

Desire

-oOo-

Chloe tucked her phone into her pocket just as Silas exited the bathroom, rubbing his hair furiously with a towel to dry it. He was still wearing the clothes she had brought him that morning, but he looked refreshed and oddly normal. Chloe found herself starring and snapped herself out of it before the monk turned to her and asked for more food. She handed him a banana and as he reached out to take it, their fingers touched and grazed one another as she pulled away. Chloe felt something electric shot up her spine, almost causing her to jump away, but she held herself and bashfully glanced at the floor. Silas sat down on the bed hardly aware of how uncomfortable Chloe felt and turned his attention back on the television which was now showing a popular Australian soap.

Feeling suddenly dirty, Chloe grabbed her gun and made sure the door was locked before stepping into the misty bathroom herself. The mirror was fogged up so she wiped it clean with her palm, shocked to see the reflection starring back at her.

The face she saw was older and her skin paler, it was the face of someone who had been through hell and still had a long way to go. Her eyes were misty and dark and her mouth was in a straight masked line.

Gingerly she felt the side of her face and felt the muscles relax under her touch, the mask of hardness began to melt and there, under her hand she could see the real her, the Chloe that had disappeared over six months ago.

Cautiously she ran a hand down her arm and pulled up her sleeve. The tissue paper was stuck to her arm by dried blood which Chloe peeled away. The wounds were an angry shade of red and blood still seeped out of some of the cuts. Quickly, Chloe jumped into the shower and massaged her wounds under the pumping warm water, ignoring the sensational stinging and overpowering sleepiness the steam was inducing. Quickly she lost herself in the warmth until reality hit her like a brick in the back of the head.

Silas was outside by himself, he could have escaped and she wouldn't have known. Fumbling, she turned the shower off, grabbed and towel and wrapped it around herself before ploughing out of the bathroom, soaking wet.

Silas was laying on his back his hands clasped together resting on his stomach and his head propped up on a pillow. A news broadcast was showing at low volume beside him and he seemed to have begun to doze off. However the unexpected outburst made his eyes almost pop out of his skull.

Chloe bashfully pulled her sopping hair out of her eyes as Silas starred at her.

"I thought you…" she faltered, unsure of what she had thought. Silas blinked but continued to stare, "Never mind…"

Chloe went back to her bed and pulled out of her bag some clothes. In the corner of her eyes she saw Silas shift on himself and within an instant she could see what had brought on the sudden flush on his face. Under his jeans there was an unmissable bulge that he was trying to hide from view.

Chloe bit her lip and walked back into the bathroom, pretending she hadn't seen anything. After she closed the door she found herself smiling to herself and feeling like a little school girl. Forcing her smile away she began the task of changing into the clean clothes, but she could not shake the embarrassed look from Silas' face and the obvious display of sexual desire his body had betrayed to her.

Did he really think of her that way? It both surprised and intrigued Chloe. He was supposed to be celibate, he didn't think of women like that, or did he? But what surprised her more was that she was not in the least bit afraid of sickened knowing he could think of her that way. Normally she shied away from men who could potential be more then friends. She hated it when men looked at her, yet when Silas did, she didn't feel sick or frightened. Frustration rose in her as she tugged on a pair of black jeans. She didn't want to feel that way about anyone, least of all a murdering monk.

Chloe lifted her hand to her forehead and sighed, completely confused. She was surprised that Silas had allowed such a physical show of sexual tension show. He had always been so tense and in control before, back when…

Chloe's eyes snapped open. The cilice.

It must have been the pain it inflicted which kept his thoughts 'pure'. Chloe suddenly understood why it was so important to him. It kept him in control and strengthened his faith. Having sexual desires probably made him feel unfaithful to his God. Chloe remembered reading something in her research about Opus Dei members and even though they followed strict doctrine, a lot of them married or reproduced with their faith still intact. A part of Chloe felt sorry for Silas. Perhaps his desires had made him feel like a failure.

Chloe put away the towels and gathered her dirty clothes, gun and keys before leaving the bathroom. Silas was in the process of crossing himself, evidently just finishing his praying and avoiding Chloe's eye, settled back on the bed.

After throwing her clothes on the floor, Chloe mirrored Silas' laid back posture on her own bed, revelling in the silence that followed, the television now being turned off.

"What made you join Opus Dei, Silas?" Chloe asked suddenly, surprised by her own surliness. The monk turned his head away from the ceiling to look at her, but promptly turned it back again.

"Bishop Aringarosa showed me the way to best serve Him. I am forever in his debt for bringing me closer to the Devine" he replied in his husky voice.

"I researched about Opus Dei, the Numeraries are the most devote and extreme followers of Opus Dei, you follow mortification, sacrifice and…celibacy" she noted, "How could you live like that?" she asked sincerely.

"It's not the desires of the body that matter most, it is His desires that we must adhere too" he replied.

"Well did you know that the Supernumeraries of Opus Dei live normal lives just like everyone else? They go to work, get married and have kids. Their faith isn't judged on how much they hurt themselves or whether they have sexual relations, it's only human nature" she explained. Silas glanced at her again.

"It is blasphemous to live such a life as an Opus Dei follower" he muttered.

Chloe sat up and swung her legs off the bed to get to her feet, she looked back at Silas, "Well considering 70 of Opus Dei members live that way, surely it's not that wrong" she mused, "I'm going out for a few minutes. I don't have to tell you to stay put" she said, raising an eyebrow as she tucked her gun into her waistband and left the room, carefully locking it behind her.

Chloe returned to the cafeteria to gather more food and drink for herself and Silas. She didn't want to leave the monk on his own more then she had to, she was pushing it by coming out to get food even though he had had enough time when she was in the shower to formulate a plan. She frowned, wondering why he hadn't tried to escape, he had the perfect opportunity, and she wouldn't have been aware that anything had happened until after she got out of the bathroom and found him gone.

"You should try those croissants, they're still warm" came a male voice from beside Chloe. She immediately felt her insides go cold and averted her eyes from the tall man standing next to her. She saw her knuckles turning white as she gripped the tray of food.

What the Hell? She thought, I'm still freaking out even though I've just spent the last few days holed up with a man.

"Are you alright?" the man asked, obviously noticing Chloe tense up. Chloe nodded and moved towards the register where a large chirpy woman took her money. As soon as she was given her change, Chloe turned and stalked away as quickly as she could, aware of the friendly man starring after her.

"Merde" Chloe hissed under her breath. Was this always how it was going to be? She was going to freak out every time a man got too near? But it didn't make sense that she didn't feel that way around Silas. How could that be? Tears began to prick in the back of her eyes. That rapist bastard had ruined her life more then she could have thought.

The sky outside was dark and dull, a chill was in the air which made Chloe jog back to the motel room with the back swinging furiously in her hand and her gun poking her painfully in her back. She dug around for the keys in her pocket and unlocked the motel door. Silas was resting still on the bed, his chest rising and falling in a state of deep sleep, the television was still on and the bright colours were blinding in the dark room. Chloe quietly dropped the bag of food beside her bed and moved slowly around Silas to switch off the television. The monk grunted something, but settled back down into silence.

Chloe couldn't well leave him to sleep uncuffed while she lay unconscious nearby, he would certainly take advantage and escape, but she was loathed to wake him as well. So instead she sat on her bed, determined to stay awake herself until the monk awoke or morning came, besides, she didn't feel all that sleepy anymore and it gave her time to think.

-oOo-

Aljinon - Well I'm glad you decided to give this fic a try, maybe I should try resummerising my story to make it sound more interesting?

phoenixrisingGhostLoveScore - hello again my old friend, glad your still hanging in there, now you can imagine Silas with a monster hard on!

Possessed-Gummy-Bear-Inferno - Hands off! the duct tape is all mine, I invented it for Pete's sake! lol.

Possessed-Gummy-Bear-Inferno - You can warn me again and again but cliffies will always be there! Yeah that line was pretty random, but then so am I.

A/N : Wo-ho! Another chappie done, I was getting a little writers block and this chapter is a little shorter then the rest so no need to write and tell me, however there are longer ones to come as we reach the end of the story and a few more twists to come!