As you have bee asking for - here is Danny and the tape. :) You'll notice I'm skirting the issue of what exactly Lindsay's "dark past" is, but that's not the point of my story. My fic is about the two people involved, and their emotions.

1 Day Later

Danny was lying in his bed, watching the shadows pass across the ceiling above. It was his day off, a rare midweek treat he intended to spend just like this - doing nothing. Though he knew it was an oxymoron, "feeling numb" was his favorite and most utilized coping mechanism. For coping with longing, coping with the decision-making that he now faced. He toyed with his dog tags; the ones he had prepared to give to Lindsay, but nearly two thousand miles stood in the way. He twisted them around his finger, over and over, cutting off circulation momentarily. Numb.

He had listened to the tape three times. First in the parking garage, once last night, and again this morning. He hadn't even gotten around to returning the tape player yesterday, the little machine was now sitting on his nightstand. No one would notice that it was missing, and if they did, he didn't care. Since his discovery of the tape, things had been a blur, forcing him to run on autopilot. He had clawed his way through the day until he could get home and just think. That was what he was attempting to do now, although he couldn't manage to streamline his thoughts.

Danny didn't know it was possible for arms to hurt so badly from the lack of something, for someone he had only held twice in his entire life. But in fact, they ached to hold her – a dull, chilly ache that penetrated to his bones, leaving him hollowed-out and vacant somewhere deep inside.

He had been intimate with women before. He'd allowed them into his bed, into his life somewhat, but never really into his head, and never ever into his heart. And yet, his relationship with Lindsay, though not 'official', had already crossed those boundaries. Their connection felt stronger than ones he had formed with others from his past. He knew he had fallen this time, and fallen hard. This realization hadn't come to him when he melted at the way she smiled, or grew tempted to sneak a peak down her shirt as she bent over evidence. No, it had occurred to him as he rocked back and forth in miserable worry, while she went undercover, head to head with a diamond smuggler. He had felt so helpless that he had resorted to prayer. It was the same silent, frantic, desperate requests he had prayed when Louie was hurt. The fear was raw, but it wasn't for himself. When he sailed out of the back of the van, ready to take on anything or anyone that might hurt Lindsay – that was when the realization hit home. That was when he knew he had fallen.

It hadn't been a fairy tale thus far, that was for certain. For every bright moment shared between them, there had been equally powerful incidents of confusion and pain. It made no sense to him whatsoever: he had finally found this amazing woman, but nothing could seem to fall into place. When they got close, something pushed them apart… yet he refused to lay back and accept it. Now that the ball was in his court, and he had some serious thinking to do. What if he embraced this opportunity, only to have her back away? He needed to hear her again.

He reached over and snatched up the tape recorder, pressing play for the fourth time. Lindsay's soft voice began to fill his dim room:

"By the time you hear this, I'll be on my way to Montana. I didn't know until the last minute that I was going, so I didn't have the chance to tell you in person. Well, no, actually… I was afraid that if I saw you, I wouldn't have the courage to go."

Her voice cracked, and Danny was forced to pause the tape in order to compose himself before continuing.

"But I need to go. Something happened, years ago, that I have to go deal with. As much as I hate the word 'victim', I was one. The only one left. I thought I was over it, but I guess I'm not. That's why I've been so messed up lately. Plus, now I've got other people depending on me to make things right.

"Danny, you have to know how much I care for you. Not only am I attracted to you… seriously, but I feel so connected to you, even when you aren't around. I question what you could possibly see in me. I mean, you're so… you're just… amazing. And I'm, well, I'm just me. I couldn't see how you would want to be with me… how that would be possible."

It was this point in the tape that made Danny grin, ear to ear, every time. Couldn't she see it, what made him so absolutely smitten? The toothy smile, the enormous brown eyes, the silky curls. Those were just the first few things that sprang to his mind, he could have listed thousands. For someone so tiny, she had a raging fire within her, and that truly heated him up.

"I'm so sorry for the hurt I've caused you, because I know I have. I can't undo it, and apologies only go so far to repair that kind of damage. Overall, just know that I wasn't rejecting you. In a twisted way, I was trying to protect you. You've had your own share of problems, you didn't need mine. I felt like if I pushed you away, made you mad, I could keep you safe. Because apparently, people who get close to me just get hurt. I couldn't live with myself if that happened to you, too."

Danny frowned and rubbed his forehead. Didn't she see that he wanted to take on her problems? To carry them for her? He didn't know what else he could do to make that crystal clear.

"What I'm asking now is for you to wait. I feel ashamed asking, I know I don't have any right. But I know that I'll come back a stronger person, and I want to be with you. I want another chance, and I'll make this all up to you if you'd just let me. You don't know how bad I want this."

But oh, how he knew.

"I can't move forward in my life, or with you, until I get something resolved. So that's why I'm doing this. That's why I'm saying goodbye… like this. I'm sorry, Danny, but I'll see you again soon."

He was unsure how to deal with the waves of emotion than engulfed him. He should have been elated, but it was far more complicated than that. He had reservations, and doubts plagued him. He didn't expect things to be much easier when Lindsay returned; she would still have some issues to work through. She was highly emotional and fragile right now, maybe that was why she had reached out to him in this manner. It was what he wanted, but now suddenly he felt afraid, untrusting of this gift that had been presented to him. The knowledge that he needed her in his life wasn't enough to counteract the fear that she might get close, then run away. Maybe, in the end, his own fears weren't that different from hers. Still, that wasn't an obstacle they couldn't overcome. Once again fingering his dog tags, Danny brought them to his lips and kissed them gently.

Pulling the covers high over his head, he rewound the tape and started to play it yet again. He soon began to drift off, the midday sun spilling through the curtains, Lindsay's voice lulling him into a deep sleep.

Up next: One Week Later