I still don't own Harry Potter...my quest now turns to Lord of the Rings.

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Ch. 9: A Different Look

"Well, that was fun," James said as he flopped ungracefully down on the bed.

"Not fun for me," Sirius mumbled grumpily, placing his chin unhappily in his hands as he sat on his own bed.

"Oh, come off it," James replied, sitting up. "Admit it, Padfoot...you suck at Wizard's Chess."

"Bloody boaster," Sirius growled, taking off his shoes and socks.

Wary of the late hour, Remus said, "Hey, guys? Where's the Map? I need to borrow it."

"What do you need the Map for? It's ten at night," James said as he drew the precious Map from beneath his mattress, then handed it to Remus.

"My own reasons," Remus mumbled as he stashed it carefully under his pillow.

"You're not going to the dark side and turning that noble work in to the overseers, are you, Moony?" Sirius asked fearfully from behind his drawn curtain.

"Oh, of course not," Remus said, stretching. "I just thought I should keep it in case I wanted to punish anyone...I am a prefect, after all."

"You've gone to the dark side at last, young Moony," Sirius said mournfully as he got into his covers, blowing out the torch in the middle of the room with his wand.

Ignoring him, Remus got into bed with his jeans and shirt on. Suddenly, he sat up, then whispered, "James? I'm going to need to borrow your Invisibility Cloak."

##

Aya sat up nervously, the moonlight playing eerily along her bed. What does he want to tell me?

She sighed, then, grabbing her wand, parted the curtains, whispering, "Lumos." Bright light flared from the tip of her wand, illuminating Lily's alarm clock that she had brought with her from the Muggle world.

11: 47, it read.

Sighing, she silenced the wand light with a word and sat back on the pillows. What was this feeling forming inside her that spread from her stomach to the rest of her body in a tingling sensation? It both frightened and enticed her, this pleasant feeling of blissful joy. She marveled at the feeling as she stared at the night sky.

As her eyes met with the moon, her heart beat in a moment of fear as she thought that the moon was still full. Idiot, she chided herself, the full moon was a few days ago. You still have an entire month.

 The full moon always frightened her, even though it meant freedom at the end.

Sighing, she moved her eyes to the roof. What is love like? It felt odd, asking herself that. She found herself missing her mother again, desiring to ask her mother that burning question. Dumbledore had told her at their funeral that her family was still watching and listening to her. She used to talk to them aloud when she was alone, telling her parents about her day as always, and telling her older brother to watch their baby sister while they were in that "place" that all people go when they died.

But certain people had thought her mentally disturbed because of that; she never did it again out of pride.

She wanted to do it now, to talk to her mother and ask her what love was like, but pride held her back again. Sighing, she drew her wand out again, lit it, and stole a glance at Lily's clock.

11: 57.

Her heart beating, she stood, adjusting her T-shirt and jeans as she made her way quietly to the door, slightly cold in her bare feet. Carefully, she opened the door, slipped out, and closed it softly behind her.

Glancing around, she made her way down the staircase, her stomach churning with a nervous feeling.

The common room lay empty before her, almost ghost-like in its abandoned state.

Shivering slightly, she moved to a small table and leaned against it, her fingers gripping it tightly in anticipation. What if it was a mistake? What if I imagined the whole thing? What if he doesn't come at all? That it was just some hilarious prank? She shook her head. No, she thought, Remus isn't like that...not...not my Remus. She giggled at the odd thought. My Remus.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder from behind, making her jump clear in the air with a muffled cry as a hand clamped around her mouth. "Shhhh, it's alright. It's me," Remus whispered from behind her.

"You scared me!" Aya hissed, crossing her arms. "How did you get in here without my knowing?"

Looking apologetic, he whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." He shifted something in his arms. Aya heard the crinkle of parchment at the movement.

"What did you bring?" Aya asked.

"Remember that Map I told you about this morning? This," he said, drawing the legendary Map out to show her, "is the Marauder's Map. Quite a bit of work came into this little thing, but we did it." His teeth flashed as he smiled. "And this," he said, showing her the fabric in his arms, "is James' Invisibility Cloak."

"Invisibility Cloak? You mean, like the One Ring?" Aya asked, feeling like an idiot as she said it. Remus nodded with a grin.

"Come on," he said, motioning to the portrait hole. "Let's get going then."

"Where are we going?" Aya asked as she followed him.

"You'll see," he said as he climbed through the portrait hole, Aya following closely behind in utter bewilderment.

As they stepped out, Remus unfurled the Map, pointed his wand at it, and said, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." As if an invisible hand was writing, a full map of Hogwarts appeared with various dots. Two little dots, Aya found on closer inspection, were labeled as "Aya" and "Remus." A few others signified various teachers and the like.

"Wow," she breathed. "Amazing use of magic."

Remus swelled with pride. "Here," he said, drawing the Invisibility Cloak over her, then covered himself as well. She gasped in surprise as, when she stuck her head out of the Cloak, her body, as well as Remus, had vanished. "Pretty neat, huh?" Remus whispered as she pulled the Cloak about her again. She nodded. This is actually a lot of fun, she thought. "Lumos," Remus whispered. Using the light from his wand, he glanced over the Map, whispering, "Good...no one around. Come on, Aya, follow me."

Reaching behind him to grasp her hand, which sent an odd sensation through both of them, he led her on through the corridor.

"Where are we going?" she whispered.

"You'll see, Aya."

##

Aya had lost track of how many corridors they had gone down, how many staircases they had climbed. She was growing slightly weary, but refused to let it show. Remus seemed to know where he was going.

Finally, they came to a stop. After a quick check with the Map, Remus drew the Cloak off both of them, setting it down carefully on the floor.

Expecting a grandiose room or hidden door, all Aya saw was another wall, to which Remus was crouching in front of, rubbing his hand along the wall. "Where is it?" he mumbled, tracing his hands along the wall. "Don't tell me I've forgotten...ah, here it is." His hand came across the odd crack in the wall. Drawing his wand, he tapped it twice, then whispered, "Isit."

With a soft cracking noise, the wall split open to reveal a high- ceilinged room with large, stain-glass windows. A comfortable looking carpet was lain carefully on the floor, the moonlight that came in through the window giving it a rather mysterious look. A fire pit lay in the wall, shrouded in shadow.

"Come on," Remus whispered kindly, taking the flabbergasted girl by the hand, then gathered the Cloak in his hands before making his way inside. As they passed into the room, the wall slid close with a soft crack. Aya could feel her heart beating in her chest; she shivered again. "Cold?" he asked, his voice full of concern. Before she could answer, the fire pit flared to life, casting a red-gold glow to the room. "Sorry there aren't any chairs. I keep forgetting about that."

Gently, he led her to the middle of the carpet, then urged her to sit down. He noticed how her eyes sparkled with anticipation, her shivering subsiding a little. Her bare feet and ragged clothing had brought an unpleasant pang to his heart.

"You...wanted to tell me something?" she asked after a long pause, her voice trembling a little.

Why is she frightened?

 The thought made him feel a little guilty, but he shrugged it off; he knew he would be hypocritical if he denied his own nervousness.

"What...is this place?" Aya asked, looking around the large room in wonder.

Rubbing his hands by the fire for extra warmth, he straightened, replying without turning around, "I was the first one to find this place, actually. I found it on one of my prefect rounds; it was rather funny. I leaned against this wall for a rest, and sneezed, and then the wall opened up behind me. It scared the crap out of me, though."

She would have laughed if she didn't feel so nervous at the time; she shivered again and hugged her knees, gazing at the fire.

Feeling slightly awkward, Remus sat down next to her, following her gaze. "Well, to answer your first question," he said after a long pause, "yes, I do have something to tell you. Well, several things, actually."

Her heart beat a bit faster as she gripped her pants leg. Why am I so nervous?

 Remus drummed his fingers on the carpet, chewing at his lower lip in nervousness.

Do I really need to tell her? Lily's face, as well as the rest of the Marauders, loomed in his thoughts. Yup...I guess I have to.

"We...need to talk...about our...relationship," he said slowly. He took a deep breath, inwardly urging himself on. Taking a careful glance at Aya, he noticed how the firelight seemed to dance in her eyes, reminding him of that crazy dream he had had of the two of them dancing by the fire in the woods. The memory brought an odd sensation, but he ignored it, intent on the task at hand. I must remain calm. "I must not fear," he quoted in the silence of his mind. A certain sense of calm flowed over him, and he continued. "I've...kind of...kept some things from you, Aya," he said, his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

She sat back, gazing at him curiously, her head cocked to one side. I have, too, she wanted to say, but kept silent. Let him speak his mind, fool. If he doesn't want a relationship, let him have his way. She sighed. What if...he doesn't...

She shrugged off the thought inwardly.

"It's just...ah, damn it all!" he swore, suddenly standing up. "I can barely say it, so forgive me, but it's just...Aya...I'm..."

Come on, Remus, he thought angrily. Just say it, you silly ass. All of his friends' angry faces loomed over in his mind, threatening him silently. "All right! I'll say it!" he cried aloud. Aya leaned forward, shocked at his odd behavior.

He looked down at her, his heart beating in his chest wildly, perspiration on his forehead. His palms felt sweaty. Sighing heavily, he faced her, hands clenched.

"Aya, I'm a...I'm a werewolf."

There was a dull silence.

Remus felt as if a huge weight had been removed from his shoulder as he stared down at her. She wasn't looking at him, but instead gazed at the fire, her mouth slightly open. Now to test her character, he thought oddly, his breathing shallow. It was then that he noticed the flash of tears falling down her face.

"I'm not crying," she said bluntly, still gazing at the fire. Then she smiled, her eyes closed as he stood there, feeling like an idiot. "Because," she said after a time, "I'm a werewolf, too, you know?" She laughed quietly as more tears fell down her face. Wiping them away, she said, "Ha, now who's the stronger?"

She leaned back to look at him, her eyes shining. He kneeled down next to her, whispering, "It's okay."

"Of course it is, silly!" she said with a laugh. "I should be ashamed of myself, though, for not telling you anything. I was scared out of my mind about that. You're really brave, you know?"

"Well," he said, looking away, "I'm not, really." As she made to protest, he held up his hand. "I'm the coward here. I already knew you were one...I found you...that full moon in September. Let's just say I put two and two together."

"You...you saved me?" she asked, her eyes wide. He shrugged.

"I only found you, is all. I didn't 'save' you, or anything."

She shook her head, replying, "I owe you a lot more than a book, Remus." Wrapping her arms around him, she placed her head against his chest, crying softly. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry. I should've told you...I'm so sorry," she repeated.

"It's okay," he breathed, fighting his own tears as he drew her into his lap, rocking her gently back and forth. "I should've told you, too, you know. Aya, Aya, it's okay. Shhhh...it's okay, Aya."

Despite her sorrow, he enjoyed holding her, that soft feel of her hair, the wonderful feeling that rose in his chest and swelled throughout his entire body. He held her tighter, running his fingers gently through her hair as he rocked her, all the while whispering comforting words into her ear. After a time, her crying subsided and she grew quiet, still holding on to him.

She felt like a lost child again.

"I told you..." she said quietly, her words barely a whisper. "You are stronger than I am. I shouldn't cry."

"Why not?" he asked, glancing down at her for a moment, watching the way she seemed to stare off into nothing as the tears slowly dried on her face. "Crying is good for you." He felt incredibly stupid as he sat there, still rocking her gently back and forth. I have to keep talking.

She giggled. "Someone told me something like that, only he added laughter at the end as well."

"Who told you that?" he asked.

After a time, she replied, "Dumbledore...at my family's funeral. I kept breaking out in fits of laughter, then I would cry, then laugh...he told me they were both good for me. 'Aya,' he said, 'you might as well cry and laugh at the same time.'"

"Your...family's funeral?" he said in surprise. Though he knew it to be a sore subject, he couldn't help himself.

There was a long pause before she continued, and even then, it was with a great effort on her part to utter the words. "They...all died. My mom, my dad, my baby sister, my older brother...all of them in the same night."

"How? In...one night?" he said, not able to hide his shock. Murder?

"I don't...want to talk about it now," she replied quietly, her voice hoarse.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to put salt on the wound," he replied quietly. When you're ready, Aya. I'll be here.

She didn't reply, but merely stared ahead of her, still wrapped in his arms. It felt right to her, to be so close to him, to have him hold her like that. That same odd feeling swelled up inside her again, sending a tingling sensation down her body. She sighed blissfully and snuggled closer to him. A werewolf just like me, she thought.

"How long...has it been...since..." she couldn't finish.

"Since I got bitten? Huh, to tell you the truth, I don't remember exactly...I was really young, maybe eight or nine? I don't remember how old I was," he said with a laugh.

"How did it happen?"

He laughed bitterly. "I was an idiot. You see, my family lives near the woods, and my younger brother and I heard a sound in the forest late one night. So, I, being the brave older brother, decided to go see what it was by myself...my screams woke up my parents, but they arrived a second too late. The wolf had its jaws clamped rather tightly around my side." He shivered, then shifted slightly to lift his shirt, showing her the nasty scar left from the bite. Her eyes glistened with pity and sympathy. He replaced his shirt.

After a slight pause, he continued softly, "My...father got so furious...he...killed it with a spell." He shivered. "My mother had to pin him down on the ground to stop him from beating the poor thing any further."

"How...horrible," Aya whispered, her eyes wide.

He nodded. "My father went insane for a minute because he knew what I had become at that instant...what I would be for the rest of my life. But then in the morning...when he saw the body of the young man...he went to the Minister of Magic to file himself as a murderer." He sighed heavily.

"What...happened to him?" Aya asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"They refused to hear his case formally...said that killing a werewolf doesn't count as murder...they wouldn't even pay respects to the young man...we never even knew his name, no matter how hard my father tried to find it. We had a funeral for him by ourselves...but, we couldn't find any of his family members...if he had any. Damn the Ministry!" he cried.

"Remus," Aya pleaded, looking up in shock at his angered face, his eyes harsh and cold, "don't say such things. You have to realize that you can never really understand someone until you know where that person's coming from."

"How...how can you sympathize with monsters such as those guys?" he whispered.

She shook her head, her eyes closed. "You just can't condemn someone just because they have an opinion."

"I guess you're right," he said with a sigh. "But I still don't understand how you can be so forgiving."

"Not forgiving. Understanding, maybe." Her tone was distant, speculating. She sighed.

"Well?"

"Well what?" she asked, glancing at him.

"I've told you how I was bitten. What about you?" he asked.

She fell silent, her eyes narrowed. "Forgive me for being a hypocrite, but...I don't feel comfortable talking about it now," she said slowly. He sighed, but nodded. Whenever you're ready, Aya. "What else did you want to tell me, Remus?" she continued, changing the subject quickly.

"Oh...that," he said with a blush. "Um..."

Come on, Remus, he thought angrily, you got through the hardest part...you can do this one, too.

"Remus?" Aya asked, looking up at him.

His heart skipped a beat as he gazed into those stormy grey eyes of hers. Beautiful, he thought blissfully. "You're beautiful, Aya."

It took him a few minutes before he realized that he had said it aloud. He blushed even as she did, his eyes wide with shock in himself. Aya was pushed into silence, her blush deepening. No one, besides her parents, had ever told her she was beautiful. She had been called a few things...Halfling, Animal, Monster...but, never...beautiful.

"Remus?" she asked again.

Taking a deep breath, he drew her closer to her, then whispered in her ear, "I love you, Aya."

##

Woosh! More to come...