A/n: sorry about the cliffy. And sorry, Edward doesn't come save them, contrary to popular belief.
Chapter Twelve
I fought to break the surface. But I did. I gasped for breath. I couldn't breath, but I wasn't sinking anymore. That was good. Wetness, though flooded my head. As I broke the surface I let out another gasp. This time being met by air. From exhaustion I collapsed, and fell into another sleep, just differently than before, this one being comforting and welcoming.
I woke up covered in an unfamiliar surrounding. Lights were on full blast, and I was covered in gauze and plaster. What was I doing here? Why was I plastered up? What was happening?
I opened my eyes, to be met with ones of Phil and Renee. Why were we here? Where was here?
"Mom, Phil?" I fought for my voice.
"Bella, you're up!" Renee swarmed me, being wary of plastered limbs, but still excited.
"Mom, what am I doing here?"
"Honey, they said you might not…well, maybe…" she mumbled off, not finishing her thought.
"Mom, please tell me what's going on."
"Honey, we were in a bad car accident. The doctors said you might not remember entirely, or at all. We're just glad to see you up."
I couldn't remember a car accident. My head pounded and I felt it with my free hand, seeing the other was secured tightly. There was a bump and it hurt badly.
"What happened altogether?"
"Bells, I'm not supposed to tell you everything at once. The doctors said it would be overwhelming."
"Mom I want to know NOW."
"We were driving to celebrate Finn's birthday, and some man ran a red light and drove his car into your side of the car. We spun into a street light and the car bent around it." She stifled a tear, she was coming close to crying.
"Why can't I remember any of this?"
"The doctors said your head smashed against the window when the car whipped around, and you hit the part of your brain that controls your memory. They thought you may not remember anything, but it turns out you can still remember some things."
Something struck me. "Mom, where's Finn?"
She started to cry steadily, "Honey, Finn was in the car. He…he... he was hurt very badly and the doctors…well, they say he's probably not going to make it. The light post hit the car right where he was."
Finn? Dying? Dead? NO! I didn't know why, but I felt as if a part of me was dying. He couldn't. No, not now. I killed him. On his birthday.
I started to weep, empty tears, for I knew not what existed behind them.
Finn. NO. He and I were good friends, right?
"How much time does he have?"
"They don't know, they give him a day or two."
"Mom, can I go see him?"
"We'll need to check, but I don't see how they would stop you."
After some persuasion, I was finally allowed to leave, by way of wheelchair to see Finn. Also, I had weaseled some answers out of Renee and the doctors. I had 3 broken ribs and a few hand breaks. Finn was hurt very badly. He had a concussion, our compound fractures, and a collapsed lung. He was strung up on a bed, with his legs in the air, and bandages everywhere.
"Finn? Are you there?"
"Squirt, is that you?" His head was unmoving, as he mumbled the words, mustering up as much excitement as probably possible in his state.
I had the doctor behind me wheel me closer. With my good hand I smooth Finn's musty sweaty tan hair away from his face. "Finn, please don't die on me. I can't remember why, but I need you."
"Bella, I know I'm going to die," he said through semi-closed lips, "but I won't die empty. I did what I was meant to do. I know that if it weren't for me and you, we would have one less soul in this world. You would have died inside."
I had no idea what he was talking about. "I can't remember anything Finn. What happened?"
"After I die, ask my mom for a tape from my room. It has everything. Just watch it." He started convulsing and the doctors pulled me out of the room and into my own.
Later that week, Finn was on his deathbed, and they allowed me to visit once more to say goodbye. I was in complete tears, and I couldn't contain the extreme sadness I felt. He looked ghastly too. He was horribly bruised, and he had lost a lot of weight. I didn't care that the doctors would be angry, right before he closed his eyes the last time, I kissed him lightly on the cheek. He died that night in his sleep, from his body trying to hard to maintain a steady system. Laura and Josh were also there to see him off, as well as the girl I knew Finn was in love with. She was in tears, and if only she knew how much he cared for her. Everyone else did.
That night I cried myself to sleep, still in the hospital recovering. It was hard enough losing Finn, but not knowing what happened hurt more. Not being able to remember what times we had had, if we had had any. Then I remembered something he had said. Instantly, I called Renee into the room.
"Mom…Finn said something about a tape. I really need it. Maybe it will help me understand."
"Bells, I don't know anything about a tape."
"PLEASE, Mom. Before Finn died he said to ask his mom about a tape. I need it."
"I'll see what I can do."
Soon after, Finn's mom came into the room. She carried a video tape cradled in her arms.
"Isabella?"
"Yes?"
"Finn wanted me to give this to you," she let a tear fall; this must be painful for her, "he said this would help you."
She handed me a video tape. I t was in a fairly nondescript case, and looked normal. I couldn't imagine what was inside. She then left the room, leaving with a small touch of my shoulder, a very welcome gesture for the situation we were in.
The doctors wouldn't allow me to view the tape yet, for I had major mental and physical recovery to go through. By May 14th, I was out of the hospital and allowed home. It was hard, returning to a world I knew nothing about. The last thing I could remember was really last summer, when I had met Finn and Laura, around June. From then on I was clueless.
Finn's funeral was to be within the next week, and I decided that I must watch the video by then, for oddly I was asked to speak. So I wheeled the wheelchair I was stuck in for the time being into the den and placed the tape in the VCR.
Finn's face popped onto the screen.
Bella, you are one of my best friends, and I want you to be happy, I know this year has been hard, and I made this for you.
A melody started played, soft and sweet. I had little recollection of it, but it seemed like I should.
One time, one day
You took, my breath away
One day, one time
I was yours, and you were mine
We met, we danced
As far as we knew, this was romance
You left, I cried
I couldn't forget you, as hard as I tried
Oh, don't forget
The rain on your skin
Don't forget
The pain needed to win
Don't forget my smile
Or that you smiled too
Don't forget
How I love you
Now it's been, near a year
Because of you, I've shed many a tear
I remember your soft, sweet voice
Forgetting that, not a thinkable choice
Oh, don't forget
The rain on your skin
Don't forget
The pain needed to win
Don't forget my smile
Or that you smiled too
Don't forget
How I love you
Don't forget
The stars in the sky
Don't forget
You put the twinkle in my eye
Oh don't forget we fell
Oh harder than we knew
Don't forget,
That you once loved me
Loved me too.
Images of a girl, me in a white nightgown, in the rain, flooded the screen. Me and Finn playing around the old middle school. I had no memory of this. Us eating ice cream in my bedroom, on my floor.
After the song ended, there was an image of us hugging.
Edward really hurt you bad didn't he?
Part of my memory flooded back. But not all. I still had one question, who was Edward? The name struck a deep pain into my heart, and I knew that Edward must have killed me inside.
My face popped onto the screen, I was sitting in front of the camera, speaking straight to it.
Finn, I don't know what I'd do without you. Without you I would be dead now. Lynne, Edward, they had killed me. Thank you Finn. I will always love you.
I broke down, crying. I remembered what Lynne had done to me. Edward was still a mystery, but Lynne had left me.
I knew exactly what to say at the funeral.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The week passed sure enough. I felt empty, like after I said my words at the funeral I had nothing to live for.
The funeral was small, at Finn's favorite place, his backyard. My mind panged when I had remembered the many times I had recently been here. Few people were invited, just some school friends and his family. I had no choice in my attire today, still confined to the wheelchair, but I think my appearance honored Finn. What hurt the most was the ceremony itself. There was a dark wood coffin, with a picture of a goofy-smiling Finn on top. I had personally asked to place a picture I had found of my own, one of Finn giving me a piggy-back ride and stealing ice cream from my ice cream cone, on the coffin as well.
Not being very religious, the service was brief, but nice.
"We come together today to honor the memory of Finnigan James Thomas. He was a devoted soul and good friend, and we all remember the laughter he brought into our hearts. His friends and family have asked to say a couple of words today regarding to the life and passion of this young man."
Mrs. and Mr. Thomas said a few words, mostly words of joy and remembrance, and then I knew it was my turn. I was wheeled to the front and the microphone was pulled down to my level. I had written out m words the night before, so as not to forget them.
"Finn was an amazing person. He is the very reason my soul is alive today. Before he died, he gave me a tape of us together. It reminded me of what I had forgotten due to the crash. I would like you all to see what an extraordinary person he was and how he accomplished more than most people could ever hope for."
I then played the tape, and it brought tears to mine and many other peoples' eyes. I stopped it right when we hugged, for the rest was my personal bit, I didn't want to plague everyone with my problems.
"And that is exactly what we will do. We won't forget. I now remember that Finn and I wrote and recorded this song together, and I find no other suitable way to honor his memory than not to forget him. He lives in me and I truly could not have survived my last year without him."
I was met with a rare applause and wheeled back to my chair. Tears were now cascading down my face and I could not bring myself back to my previous composure. The funeral finally ended and I could safely go home. But no luck. I was stopped by Mr. and Mrs. Thomas.
"Bella, sweet, we were wondering if we might be able to have a copy of that song," Mrs. Thomas asked.
"Sure," I pulled together a smile for her, "That will be no problem."
"What you said was amazing," Mr. Thomas, a man of few words, offered.
"Thank you, I just wanted to do Finn some justice."
"You have done that for him and more."
I went straight home, and copied the tape, it was something to do. School was ending soon and I was fairly behind, so I finished that too. Now left with time to think, I thought just one phrase, one of distraught and plea.
I can't stay here.
I had contemplated moving to Forks before, but now I had to. There was nothing here for me.
That was my final decision.
A/n: ONE MORE CHAPTER!!! Then on to the partner story, of Edward's point of view.