Logan woke up early the next morning, shifting on the tiny bed next to Rory. For about the first time in his life he had spent the night next to someone, holding someone, being comforted and didn't have sex. He looked over at the sleeping girl next to him. She was an angel. He couldn't believe that despite how much he had hurt her she was willing to drop her anger when he needed help. She really cared. Of course she could easily end up like his other friends. They too had initially had sympathy for him, had helped him out but then that wore thin when they realized the reality of his situation. It wasn't romantic or poetic, and it wasn't going to change. He was poor, had no family to speak of, and no future. He had nothing. Logan rarely cried, but when all this had happened he had cried, not only for himself and his future, but for his mother, and even for Mitchum. He had cried for the family they used to be. Dysfunctional yes, but still a family. And now everything was shattered. His parents were split, his father (Mitchum would always be his real father) had lost his only son, and worse than that, he couldn't forgive either Logan or his mother for what had happened.
Logan realized how angry he was, both at his mother and at his biological father. They had both messed up his life before he even existed. He fumed internally about his mother being such a slut. And she had gone all these years without telling him, without telling her husband. How could she have done this to them? And then this other guy, this other father guy, who had used him, his existence, to extort money from his mother. What a nice guy. Wasn't he lucky to have a father like him?
Logan slowly got out of bed, and walked to the window. He was wearing only his boxers, because that was all he had to sleep in. He didn't even have a dollar to his name now. He stood at the window and looked out at what he could see of the Yale campus. That future was gone. It had slowly slipped away even, starting with his parents, and the money, then losing Yale, then his friends. The only thing left to lose was Rory to make his life a total and complete failure before it had even really begun.
Determined not to let her down, Logan dressed himself, trying his best to straighten out his clothes. He knew they looked bad. They hadn't been ironed, there was no one to clean up after him now. He looked again at the sleeping girl, wondered how to protect her. He had lost everything but he wanted her to keep her charmed life.
He wrote a quick note, explaining that he had gone out but would return later and then slipped quietly out the door, thankful that Paris wasn't there. Paris probably still thought that Rory was angry with Logan and he knew that Paris had never liked him, so he didn't want to have a loud confrontation with her while Rory was asleep. Especially not today.
Logan had begun to form some kind of plan, some plan to make up for what had happened, to make himself worthy to Rory. He knew she didn't care who his parents were, but she wouldn't want a useless, poor boyfriend who hung around and moped all the time. And he couldn't depend on her to provide for him forever, she wasn't exactly affluent herself.
He walked to the campus library, a place he had rarely been before and got on the computer. It didn't take him long to whip up a resume, and unfortunately it looked very insufficient. 'I haven't done much with my life so far.' he thought. But that was going to change. Logan had always been afraid of things that didn't come easy to him. Money, he had always had, women had always followed. Even writing came easy to him because of his intelligence. But hard work, that was something new. And trying for something, possibly failing, was also new.
Logan took a deep breath as he printed several copies of his resume. At least right now he still had a student account. He then drew himself up out of the chair, trying to suppress the worry he was feeling.
With a confident step but trembling inside Logan walked out of the library to all of the surrounding stores, putting in applications and dropping off resumes. It was the longest morning he had ever had. Most stores weren't hiring. Logan had to get over his shame of being a person behind a counter, of having to wait on somebody. He had trouble humbling himself to the position, but then remembered his own origins and realized that he had more to be ashamed of in his family than most of the people behind the counters did about their jobs.
He thought about applying at all the pubs and clubs he was used to hanging out in but realized that it would be way too humiliating to wait on his friends or former friends. And besides that, he had an existing tab at most of these places which now he was unable to pay off.
Still, he did his best and filled out at least a dozen applications before he decided to end the job search and go back to Rory's room. He still didn't know if she was mad at him and had taken him in out of pity or if she still had feelings for him.