Okay, I'm trying to get another chapter up for this week since I've got Monday off tomorrow. Seriously, I updated all three of my stories last night (Heart of a Wolf was earlier this morning...well, like, 11), so I'm a little tired from writing three chapters in a row...but, hey! I've got the readers to think about first! If I sound sad later on, it's just because I'm winding down to the end of my Legend of Zelda fic, and I've gotten attached to all the characters. (I had to take a few days off when I killed off one of my characters...I'm so weird...). So far, it's 33 chapters long! A work in progress! Honestly, I've been working on it since last December, and it's been on my mind for such a long time it seems sad that it'll all come to an end. Plus, I'll be REALLY sad when this fic is over and done with cuz I'm in LOVE with Remus, but that's not for a REALLY long time...seriously, I still have to get through sixth year and then seventh year and then the stuff after that...um, you didn't hear that. And what's REALLY hilarious is when I threaten my bf, Syd, that I'll "kill Aya off" if she doesn't do something for me...it's SO funny to see the look on her face of total loyalty and rapt attention! Don't worry, she's NOT going to die, I swear it. I actually thought "what if?", so I wrote down a chapter where she DOES die, and I was crying so hard I decided, NO WAY! THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I CAN DO THIS TO MYSELF AND YOU GUYS. So, yeah, Aya's gonna live...

I'm telling you, I'm weird!

Anywho, I don't own Harry Potter and, as usual...FRODO LIVES! MUAHAHAHAHA! (oh, and Aya's present from Remus, on the top were Tolkein's words in elvish...the translation was right below it).

Oh, and um...one more question...should I...er...raise the rating on this? I'm not sure, just cuz I'm afraid it'll block anyone from reading this if I do raise the rating...tell me what you think.

-A/R-

Ch. 23: And yet the World Resumes Its Spinning

-A/R-

He had no desire to get up, let alone open his eyes. Doing that would just send the bile in the back of his throat to erupt to his mouth, and, to be honest, he really didn't want that at the moment. It was as if he could feel the world rotating on its axis, as if he would suddenly tip forward onto the ceiling as the world spun. He bit his lip.

No, it was best to just think about the wonderful few days gone past: playing in the snow, rather romantic trips to Diagon Alley, just the two of them...

Yes, it was best to keep his fear at bay for the moment, the fear for tonight. Sure, he was excited to do it all over again with her, but, as usual, it was the waiting that frightened him most. He sighed and held her a little closer to him, burying his face in her dark hair.

"What do you mean, I can't wake them up?!"

The sudden, sharp sound pierced Remus' ears like a loud whistle, causing him to flinch. I hate it when I'm so sensitive...

"Just not today, Thomas! Understand?"

That would be Mum, he thought with another flinch. Honestly, if they keep yelling like that right outside the door, they'll wake Aya up!

"But it's not fair! I wanna wake them up NOW!"

Remus could hear Thomas stamp his foot, his voice reaching a horrible tone. Did he take his meds today?

"Thomas, you will do no such thing, young man!" Remus could hear Liz yell back. There was a scuffle, and the doorknob began to rattle and shake. "I said NO!"

Thomas screamed and began to cry as he kicked at the door. "Let go of me! I WANNA SEE THEM! LET ME SEE THEM!"

"Isaac!" Liz yelled.

Remus heard the pounding of feet down the hallway, then his father's voice, suddenly rough for the first time as he grabbed Thomas and carried him away. "Come on, Thomas...ow, that hurt! You have to...ow! Take your medicine! Ow, damn it! That hurt!"

Thomas' screams and struggle were quickly muffled by the slam of a door. There was another sound of scuffle, and Thomas yelled, "LET ME SEE MY BROTHER! I WANT REMUS! I WANNA SEE AYA! LET ME SEE THEM! LET ME SEE THEM, PLEASE!"

There was another struggle, and Remus could hear something slam against the door. Thomas screamed again, and Remus could hear Liz yelling something to her husband. Then, Thomas quieted down...and then silence.

With a sigh, Remus wiped his tears away and snuggled a little closer to Aya. I'm sorry, Thomas, he thought inwardly, fighting against the lump in his throat. I can't get up today...I'm too sick...

-A/R-

Afternoon sunlight filtered in through the window, finding its way onto Remus' face. With a groan, he tried to grip her a little tighter...when he was met with air. Startled, he opened his eyes and waiting for his vision to focus.

Aya was gone...

-A/R-

"Oh, you won again."

"I told you, I always win!"

Remus pushed past the corner of the wall and into the living room, fighting nausea for a bit. He smiled. "What're you two up to?"

Thomas looked up from the checkers board, a huge smile on his face. "Aya's really bad at this, Remus!" he said happily.

"He beat me seven times," Aya said groggily, forcing a smile as she rubbed her temples, her face paler than usual.

Easing down on the couch next to her, Remus said, "Thomas, why don't you go get Aya some tea, okay?"

"You sound like you just woke up," Thomas said with a shrug as he stood up and moved towards the kitchen. "Must be a teenager thing..."

"You didn't have to do that, you know," Remus said quietly to her, running his hands shakily through her hair. "You're ill..."

"So're you," she mumbled with a yawn. "I wanted to...I felt bad, since he wanted to see us this morning...so I got up when you went back to sleep."

"So...you...heard?"

She nodded and leaned against him.

"Thank you," he whispered in her ear. "For...for being so nice to him..."

"Here's your tea, Aya," Thomas said as he came back with the steaming mug. She smiled and took it from him with a nod. "You...you don't have to play anymore if you don't feel too well..."

"Here, Squirt," Remus said, pushing Aya gently back on the pillows and leaning forward, ignoring how the room spun. "I'll play a few games with you."

"Really?! Yes!"

-A/R-

"I beat you again! Haha!" Thomas yelled, punching the air in victory. Remus winced, but smiled.

"Anyone want some lunch?"

Remus looked up as his mother came in, her hands on her hips, but a soft smile on her face. He shook his head. "I think we're fine," he answered, looking at Aya's sleeping form, a blanket wrapped firmly around her.

"Can I have something?" Thomas asked.

"Then get in the kitchen," Liz said, pushing the boy through the kitchen doors as he passed her. "You two...just...just get some rest or something..."

"Make sure to wake us up, okay, Mum?"

Nodding, she turned, closing the doors behind her.

With a grateful sigh, he lay down next to her and surrendered himself to sleep.

-A/R-

Even before Liz came back in, Remus was awake and staring at the ceiling, stroking Aya's cheek absent-mindedly.

We'll be fine, he told himself over and over.

But he couldn't shake off a feeling of anxious fear.

They had agreed yesterday that, this time and every full moon after, they would do it together. Perhaps it would ease the pain a bit...

But Remus shivered despite the warmth of the blanket.

He had never allowed any of his friends to watch him transform, and he had never seen another werewolf transformation before. Actually, he had always closed his eyes when he did it.

It was just out of embarrassment and inescapable shame...

But shame at what?

He bit his lip.

This is what I am... what Aya is...we can't just run from it...

He sighed and thought of the constant argument he had run over and over in his mind since they discussed it: if I want to spend the rest of my life with her, we can't just be "courteous" or embarrassed about it...if we are, then we won't accept ourselves...

But he was still afraid, not only for himself, but also because he wondered if he could be able to stand seeing her...

He shook his head as he thought about it.

How can I watch her go through that, wanting to die over and over again? Why do I want to watch her go through something so painful? How can I do that? I'll go insane!

"What am I supposed to do?" he whispered. "I...we...we have to do this..."

We have to...or we'll never accept the fact of what we are! We're werewolves, the scorn of society! And we can't just run from it...as long as we're together...

He grinned and moved closer to her. "As long as we're together...it won't matter at all..."

-A/R-

"God, I hope we don't freeze out here," Aya said as she walked along next to him, wrapping her arms about her as her teeth chattered a little bit. She looked behind her. "How long have we been walking?"

"About an hour, I think," he said, glancing at the sky as it slowly began to take on a pinkish hue. He looked back as well, then resumed his walking.

"I'm still worried, though," Aya said with a shrug. "You're absolutely sure they lock the doors and the windows? What if we manage to come back this way?"

"Believe me, it's alright," Remus replied. "Mum and Dad lock every single lock, including the rooms they don't use at night. Then they have Thomas in with them, and they lock their door and window with a magic spell, so even if we found the house again, no matter how hard we tried, we would never be able to get in their room at least. Besides, Mum and Dad will be up all night anyway, worrying about us..."

Aya blushed and bit her lip. After a long silence, she said, "You're...you're sure you want to do this?"

"Are those second thoughts?" he asked with a laugh, turning to her as he walked.

"N-no," she stammered with a blush. "I'm just asking is all."

He stopped her, placing his hands on her shoulders and staring intently into her eyes. "Listen, Aya," he said firmly. "I'm not...going to put you through anything you don't want to do, okay? If you...don't want to do this, we don't have to right now."

She sighed and closed her eyes. "No...it's...it's fine, I can do this."

"You're sure, now? Absolutely sure?"

"I'm sure..."

He narrowed his eyes, sensing a tone of doubt in her, but then motioned for them to walk on.

-A/R-

They were breathing hard as they finally reached a clearing, both feeling more than just nauseous.

"Here...how bout...right here?" Remus said breathlessly as he leaned against a tree.

"Sure," she answered, swaying a little. He caught her before she fell and steadied her, then glanced at the darkening sky.

"Sunset's almost over," he said. "Moon'll...come up in a bit...we should...you know...with the whole...clothes thing and...um...yeah..."

Oh, come off it, Remus, he chided himself. Come on, you were both naked in a shower.

"Oh, but this is totally different," he muttered to himself, then looked up at her.

Her cheeks flushed, beads of sweat trickling down her face. She was staring at the ground, twisting her fingers.

Taking a deep breath, he unzipped his jacket and took it off, tossing it to the floor. He then started to take his undershirts off, shivering a little. That being done, he sat down and started taking off his shoes and socks, the cold biting his exposed skin.

He looked up, then blushed madly as he saw her take off the last of her shirts, standing there with only her bra and pants on, her shoes and other clothing lying at her feet. Her face flushed again as she slipped off her pants, folding them nicely before she set them down on the ground. Shivering, she stood in front of him, partly naked, her face crimson as she stared at the ground.

Realizing he was staring, he stood and quickly took off his pants, then hesitated. All he had on were his boxers, and, goddamn it, it was the first time he found it so difficult to slip them off.

I'm standing in front of a girl with nothing but my stupid boxers on...damn it all...

He coughed. "Well, uh...yeah, so...er..."

Crap, why is this difficult? They're just boxers, for crying out loud!

"Yeah..." she whispered. With a deep breath, she reached behind her and undid the clasp of her bra. Remus couldn't stop himself from staring, his mouth open as the straps came forward off her shoulder, the bra tumbling down to the floor. His eyes widened as he stared.

Nearly slipping, he stood up, and, without even thinking, slipped of his boxers in one fluid motion, his body shaking. They slipped from his hands as he watched her slip off her last garment.

And so they stood there in an embarrassed silence, looking at each other with red faces.

Suddenly, he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her with a passion he had never thought existed in his body. He ran his fingers through her hair, his heart pounding. Slowly, softly, he wrapped his other arm low around her waist, his chest against hers.

She's so soft...warm...

He had never wanted anything so badly in his life as he kissed her again, his heart beating in his chest like a drum. "Aya...Aya..." he moaned, wanting to get down on the ground.

"Mm...Remus...Remus, stop it," she said suddenly, trying to push him away.

But to him, her voice was just sound, an enticing lullaby. He held her tighter, rubbing his cheek against hers. He started to sneak his hand down further as he pressed her close to him. "No...no, you're...you're mine, Aya," he whispered with a grin, running his tongue along her neck. "Please...please..."

"Remus, Remus, stop it...Remus, please!"

But he couldn't, he refused to hear her as he held her closer, a smile on his face. "I love you!"

Suddenly she pushed him away with an effort. He stumbled and fell to the ground, crying out with an unsuppressed sadness mingled with rage. Looking up at her, he slapped himself, blinking furiously as he stared up at her. Tears were falling down her face.

"What...what were you...what were you trying to do?" she gasped out, wiping her mouth. "Why did you do that?!" She ran her hand along her neck, a disgusted look on her face. He had never seen such hurt in her eyes.

God damn it! Remus, you...you idiot! Now look what you've done!

"I...I...oh, shit...I don't...I don't know!" he cried, stumbling to get up as she backed away from him. "Aya! I'm...I'm sorry!"

He held out his arms to her, but she shook her head violently, her eyes wide.

"No!" she stammered. "What...what were you thinking? That I'm just some...whore?! What did you...want from me?!"

"I'm...I'm really sorry, Aya! I couldn't control myself! I'm sorry!" he pleaded as he staggered to his feet. He stepped forward and brushed his hand along her face.

She slapped his hand away, fresh tears coursing down her face. "Don't...don't do that! You....just...just don't."

She turned and started to run, but he grasped her wrist, trying to hold her back. "Aya, please, I'm so sorry!" He kissed her again.

"Stop it!" she screamed, slapping him hard across the face and freeing her hand. "I'm not your little prostitute! Is...is that all you wanted?!"

A sob tore through her.

"Is that all you want?" she said hoarsely, then turned and ran.

Night had finally fallen. Fearful she would leave him alone there, he tried to run after her. "Aya, please!"

"No!" he heard her yell as she disappeared among the trees. "Leave me alone!"

"Aya!" he yelled, then stumbled forward again, a biting pain ripping through his stomach.

The full moon had found its victims once again.

He pounded the ground in agony. "No...please," he moaned in agony. "Aya...Aya...please...sorry..."

He rolled onto his back as fur sprouted all over his body. Claws were forming, as were fangs.

He heard her scream in an agony he never wanted to hear again. Trying to get up to go to her, to help her, he only fell back as his spine was beginning to form into a lupine shape. His mouth lengthened as his ears transformed. Arching his back, he howled, then took off, paws pounding along the forest floor.

Where was she?

He snarled, then ran faster, following the scent again, knowing he had to find her, a sudden urgency in him that flamed his wolf-like body.

Leaping over a bush, he tore around a tree and saw her sitting there. Tongue lolling, his tail wagging happily, he stepped forward, eager to finally see her again.

But she backed away, tail between her legs as she whimpered.

Head cocked to one side, he stepped forward again, but she only backed away even further, her ears laid back. He sat, closing his mouth, then bowed his head, sniffing along the ground, inviting her. She whimpered again, but sat down.

He laid down and sighed, staring at her intently.

But she wouldn't come near him, her eyes shining in the light of the full moon. He whimpered for her, but she backed away again. Standing up again, he stepped forward, wanting her. But he could smell her fear...and it was directed at him.

He bowed his head and whimpered, his tail between his legs.

And he heard her turn and run off again into the night, leaving him with a horrible loneliness in the pit of his stomach.

Something stirred in the bushes behind him. It was some forest squirrel, begging for life as it scrambled frantically away from him. Enraged at himself, he turned and leaped onto it, pinning the squeaking thing under his mighty paw. With a snarl, he slashed at the furry creature with a sharp nail, ripping its tiny stomach apart, its entrails seeping out. Then he ripped it to shreds with his teeth. Turning he howled angrily, then tore off, looking for something else to kill.

He was the monster once again...

-A/R-

Okay, okay, so I made Remus look bad...sorry...but, please review?