Disclaimer: don't own DK. So stop throwing lawyers in my face!

Hallucinating Chai

Ruwalk sighed. He was exhausted. Correction, he was on the verge of dying. From what? From paperwork! Since when did agriculture matter so much? Ruwalk rubbed his forehead and gave a despairing groan. He moved away from the suffocating pile and turned towards the door. Alfeegi wouldn't kill him for taking a break.

Ruwalk started to sweat. Actually, he wouldn't put it past the white dragon officer to actually murder him in cold blood. How can I take a break without Alfeegi hunting me down? Ruwalk wondered. He'd just breath in some air other than the stale room air. Ruwalk thrust open the door and stepped out of the room. He breathed in...breathed out...breathed in...breathed out. Ruwalk took one last large breath.

Suddenly Ruwalk spotted Rune rushing down the hallway. Rune looked as if the dead ghost of the former Water Knight was haunting him. Rune had a large gift basket arms length away from him, as if the basket held radioactive substances (or worse the Dragon Queen's dresses!).

"Rune, what are you doing?" The yellow dragon officer questioned. Rune skidded to a halt and turned his head dangerously towards Ruwalk. Ruwalk sweatdropped. He started to regret his question.

"...Ru...walk?" Rune asked. Then Rune looked very relieved. "Here Ruwalk! Happy birthday!" The blonde yelled as he shoved the gift basket into Ruwalk's arms (more like his stomach). "Huh? My birthday isn't until next week..." But Rune was already halfway down the hallway. "Doesn't matter! Just take the evil object!" Rune shouted over his shoulder. Then he laughed like a maniac that was free from the bars of a mental ward and crashed into a room.

Ruwalk stared. "O...k..." He murmured. He glanced at the gift basket and shrugged. "It was nice of him anyway." He went back into his room.

Strangly, Ruwalk had his own miniture kitchen in his room. Kind of like those cheesy baking ovens you see on television. Ruwalk dumped the basket next to his miniture stove, filled the teapot with water, snatched a packet, and grabbed his favorite mug. Out of all the teas, I picked Chai. Ruwalk thought to himself as the water started boiling.

Ruwalk had Chai only once, and immediatly spat it back out in one unfortunate meeting with the governor of Neeuqard. It offended the governor and resulted into a coup de'etat. Lykouleon was very understanding to the yellow dragon officer. Alfeegi wasn't.

He stared at the liquid queasily. Just looking at Chai reminded him of the horrid punishment Alfeegi gave him. Shuddering, he sipped.

"It tastes different from the one that governor gave us eh?"

"Yeah.." Ruwalk agreed. Then did a double take. There was a person standing across from him, glaring into the same exact cup he had. Either it was a hoax planned by Alfeegi or his long lost twin.

"Just so you know, I'm not a hoax nor am I your long lost twin." The twin said.

Ruwalk gasped in fear. "You just read my mind!" He said. "No duh." The twin replied. "If you're not a hoax or my long lost twin..what are you?" Ruwalk asked tentavily.

"Your conscience." The twin said. Ruwalk blinked. "My...conscience?" Then Ruwalk's eyes widened. "I know! It's probably another punishment by Alfeegi!" Ruwalk panicked. "I'm sorry Alfeegi! All I did was go out of my room for 10 seconds! Please PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" Ruwalk threw himself into a clumsy bow onto the table.

"Did you just hear what I said?" Conscience demanded. "I'm your conscience! Not Alfeegi's punishment!" Ruwalk's face was still glued onto the table. Conscience leaned closer towards Ruwalk. "I AM YOUR CONSCIENCE!" Conscience bellowed. "AND GET YOUR STUPID FACE OFF THE TABLE!"

Ruwalk got his stupid face off the table. "I am really sorry Alfeegi." Ruwalk whimpered. Conscience threw his hands into the air. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO DRILL IT INTO YOUR HEAD? I'M NOT ALFEEGI'S PUNISHMENT!" He screamed.

Whimpers greeted him. "My gosh...I'm gonna need aspirin." Conscience muttered. Finally, he lifted his head and glared at the yellow dragon officer. "Okay Ruwalk. The reason I'm out of your mind is to talk to you about something."

Gasping, Ruwalk threw himself at Conscience. "If this is about that coffee and shirt accident Alfeegi, I swear I'll clean it as soon as I can!" He pleaded. Conscience smacked Ruwalk away. "It's not about that coffee and shirt accident! I let Alfeegi do the tongue lashing on that one. No, what this is about is your fear of confrontation." Conscience said.

Apprehensively, Ruwalk peered at Conscience. "My fear of confrontation?" He whispered. For some reason, this ticked Conscience off more. "YES! YOUR FEAR OF CONFRONTATION!" Ruwalk yelped and dove under the table.

Conscience took a deep breath. "Ruwalk, you always get punished from Alfeegi right?" Not waiting for an answer, Conscience plunged on. "Sometimes you deserve that punishment, and sometimes you don't. And the times when you don't deserve the punishment, you still suffer the consequences. Of course, it'd be wonderful if you were assertive and told the truth. But nooo, you have to be walked all over. You know what this is called? It's called-"

Ruwalk felt himself doze off. This was just like the meetings Alfeegi held, Ruwalk thought. He hugged his knees and let himself doze into a dreamlike state. Since Ruwalk was under the table, Conscience couldn't see if Ruwalk was listening to him or not. If Alfeegi was trying to cast a spell to bore him to death, he was succeeding. You couldn't really blame the guy, anyone would fall asleep into a speech that boring.

What Ruwalk was actually hearing, was "Ruwalk, blah blah blah blah blah blah?" "blah blah blah blah punishment, blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah punishment, blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah truth. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah? Blah blah-"

The blahs Ruwalk was hearing cast him into a trance. A trance where he was more powerful than Alfeegi and he was the one handing out punishments. Just as he was getting to banishing Alfeegi forever, a scream jolted him awake.

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING!" Conscience screamed. He reached down under the table and grabbed Ruwalk's collar, hoisting him up. Ruwalk felt his legs dangle. "YOU! HOW DARE YOU! I WAS TRYING TO ACTUALLY HELP YOU WHEN YOU PAY ME BACK BY SLEEPING?" Conscience shook Ruwalk like a rag doll. All this shaking was making Ruwalk's brains scramble. "I SHOULD GO AWAY RIGHT NOW! JUST TO TEACH YOU A LESSON!"

Please Kami-Sama. Please let this crazy spell wear off. Ruwalk fervently prayed. "I HEARD THAT!" Conscience yelled with fury. Then a miracle happened. Conscience disappeared.

Actually, what really happened was that Conscience threw Ruwalk at the wall, causing a sizable hole into the plaster. Then disappeared with a threats and curses.

Ruwalk did not move, dazed. Finally, he gingerly removed his head from the wall and brushed the plaster from his hair. His eyes gave a cursory glance around the surroundings. "YES! THAT CRAZY SPELL WORE OFF!" Ruwalk squealed. Then a huge piece of ceiling fell and clouted Ruwalk on the head. It utterly knocked the dragon officer into unconciousness.

That's what you get for not listening. Sang a singsong voice before Ruwalk went into a coma.

So how do you guys like it? Sorry for not updating. I'm really slow as you can see. Any requests for the next guy to be tormented?