I'm baaaack! Yay! And so continues this story. I don't own Harry Potter, but I do enjoy long walks on the beach by moonlight and...um...MOVING ON. Ah, and this chapter is rated M. You'll see...it gets...well, you'll see. Oh, and I think I owe the world an apology for last chapter, with the whole Britain Catholic thing...I actually, and forgive my ignorance, have no idea what Britain actually is in religion (well, only-harry said Angelical...?), nor do I know the difference between religions, since I don't really follow my "religion" (in other words, I'm not religious...not that I don't believe in God/Jesus, it's just the other stuff I don't follow). Thus, I'm sincerely sorry if I offended anyone. (Bows in shame)
A/R-
Ch. 30: The Starlit Moon
A/R-
An evanescent feeling of time and space. The sense of self would come after, but this moment, the moment between sleep and wakefulness, was something ethereal, something beyond the usual standards. It transcended all thoughts, all emotions, an unknowing daydream that began in the morning and ended in eternity's grasp. Like tiny fingers gliding through warm sand, the eyes began to open, drinking in all surroundings at a slow pace, quickly calculating the fact that dawn's light was sending its gentle caresses as slowly as possible.
And thus, slowly, but oh, so surely, Aya Centaria became aware of the world around her once more, the watchful world, the conscious, tangible world.
She moaned, the nausea clutching at her senses immediately, bogging down upon her mind, heightening slightly her sense of smell and hearing, but making all others as sensitive as they could annoyingly be at the moment. The headache would come later, that much was certain, but all else, even the coming two days, were to be pushed aside for the moment. Time's clock was ticking away, but it was actually rather pleasant to lie in bed alone under the warm sheets and be the spectator and not the actress.
It was then that she realized she was not alone in her bed.
For some time now, Aya had been against something warm and pleasantly soft, yet strong also, in a way. It smelled wonderful...heightened senses or not, the smell was, in a word, beautiful, serenity in its entirety. She was in a strange mood already, but the fact that she hadn't noticed this even stranger something was beyond her.
Still bewildered by her blatant irregularity, Aya turned her head to the side, towards the curtains and away from the window.
Her heart played hop-scotch against her ribcage momentarily.
Love is a tricky thing. It plays its song at different intervals, and rarely is it the same euphony. Love can be a lament, a song of celebration, but always of emotion, of passion felt at strange times in even stranger conditions.
To see him lying there next to her, innocence plain on his sleeping features, the morning light kissing his lips and dancing in his hair, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath, transcended beyond all else. She felt it again, that odd sensation she had first begun to feel at his home. Instead of fully indulging in it, she snuggled closer to him, her face just inches from his chest. Enraptured, intoxicated to a degree as her nausea subsided for the moment, she stole a quick kiss to his chest, lips meeting invitingly with warm cotton.
And Remus Lupin slept on, a grin forming on his lips, but his mind still in Wonderland.
Aya smiled in spite of herself. No wonder she had slept soundly again. No wonder she felt pleasantly rested.
She always felt alive when she was with him, a part of something so solid, so foundational, so beautiful, it was a wonder she did not go mad on the spot. He was an anchor to life's universe, a simple solution, a need in life's complexities. His heart beat in tune with hers; his soul glowed when hers did. When he felt happiness, hers was certain to follow.
She loved him, but it wasn't just a simple love, nor just a simple connection that all felt at that age: a fling, a flavor to be tasted and tossed away when bored, nothing more. No, this was more than just that, more than just the desire, the romance, the sex, if they ever got that far. She was in awe of him. In a short span of five months, their souls had intertwined. They had found in only sixteen years what most people search for their entire lifetimes. He completed her. As simply put, he completed her fully, allowing her to see herself in a different, more benevolent light. They may have had their hiccups, but here he was, lying beside her in peace.
Aya smiled, pressed her face gently against his chest, and slipped back into blissful sleep.
A/R-
He awoke with a rather unpleasant start, his mind shifting through dizziness from his strange dream to reality at last. Panicking for a moment, he sought for her, unconscious for a moment to her soft, warm body against his chest. Sighing gratefully, he wrapped his arms around her and, gently, so as not to wake her, pulled her closer.
Remus took a long, deep breath, trying to still his breathing for the moment. His rapidly beating heart said quite the opposite.
But he had thought it was so real then!
He clutched at her a little tighter, just to make sure she was there. A tremble took him for a moment, then was gone at last.
It was ridiculous, that stupid dream he had been in just moments before. Stupid. But it's beginning had been so...pleasant. Vulgar, yes, and definitely embarrassing (thank heavens it wasn't the same scenario from the morning following first time they had spent a full moon together), but he couldn't deny it to himself any longer. He had enjoyed the beginning. But it wasn't like he was fantasizing about her...like that. And it wasn't as if he wanted to do that in the wild. But he couldn't help thinking about it. Her eyes had been so...and her expression...the smile turning to undeniable pleasure, then quickly sinking into ecstasy as she arched her back and...
He shook his head.
Stupid boy to be thinking vulgar things again.
But then it had changed so dramatically, so quickly. The sky had darkened, and the howls had begun. And they were suddenly running naked in terror from something that sounded all around.
And then Aya had disappeared from his sight until he heard her dying screams...
He snarled and shook his head.
Stupid boy to be trembling so.
He looked down at her, and suddenly peace took him. She slept, her face almost childlike, yet still holding that ethereal look from the previous night. His elf-princess, although now with tousled hair, was still as beautiful as ever. Sighing, he kissed the top of her head, then gently began to slink away as Nature made its bathroom call.
Before he could turn away, Aya suddenly clutched at his nightshirt, shivering slightly. "Don't...don't leave..." she whispered.
He turned back to her, but she slept still, her eyebrows furrowed in a strange concentration. "Don't...don't..." she whispered to no one in particular.
Narrowing his eyes in concern, he traced his hand to hers and clutched it until she relaxed and fell silent. "Aya," he whispered to her, "I'm not going anywhere...I'd never leave you, no matter where I go..." He traced his hand to her cheek and stroked it softly and gently. She trembled, but there was a soft, almost lazy smile that danced upon her lips. "I'll always be right here." Then he quietly left to do his usual morning business.
A/R-
Still shaking his head at the deserted, silent common room, Remus closed the door softly behind him as he made his way back to the bed, his bladder relieved and grateful. Massaging the back of his neck, he pulled back the curtain to a rather fitful, still unconscious Aya.
She was mumbling something almost inaudible, but her movement was just this side of thrashing. Her hands were out before her, as if to ward off some unseen foe.
"No...no..." she mumbled. "Stop...st...stop it...leave...'lone..."
Sliding into bed next to her, Remus clutched at her shivering body and held her close, caressing her cheek. "Aya, wake up," he whispered in earnest. "It's just a bad dream...it's just a bad dream..."
She relaxed suddenly, burying her face into his chest before letting out a deep, shuddering sob, then grew quiet at last, drifting into a silent dreamland again.
Swallowing, Remus placed as much blanket over her as possible and sighed heavily, then held her close and snuggled down into bed again.
It took him a long moment until he realized his shirt was damp with her tears.
A/R-
Sleep, wanted or not, did not come to him. Thus, Remus spent the next twenty minutes gazing up at the ceiling, his eyes focusing and refocusing. The room was spinning slightly rather earlier than he expected, but his thoughts were far from his own predicament. His raven-haired girl filled every corner of his thoughts.
Sighing, he looked over towards the curtain and suddenly wondered when Lilly would finally get up.
I know she sleeps like a rock, but this is getting ridiculous.
He considered whether he should go wake her, but decided it would be rather odd and painful (for him, anyway) to awaken a rather un-morning type of person. Remus fought off an inward tremble as he thought of fighting off a raging Lilly in the early morning. Besides, he told himself, Lilly would probably want to know in full detail why he was there.
But still, he felt as if the morning was dragging on to lateness. Sighing, he withdrew the curtain to just catch a glance at Lilly's clock, just to gauge when would be a best time to wake her up.
I bet she's just trying to suck in as much sleep as possible...probably will sleep till its five minutes till the end of breakfast...
He glanced at the clock, shook his head, blinked a few times, and stared. His brain simply couldn't comprehend the numbers.
10:43?
Remus shook his head again.
It couldn't be ten o'clock in the morning with seventeen minutes left until eleven. He chuckled. That would mean he had skipped a few classes, that he was more than just a little late.
That would mean he was ditching.
He looked again, and suddenly it all sank in.
Remus, a Prefect, had slept well past the morning. He, Remus, was more than just a little late to school.
He was completely missing it.
The amazement at his predicament came first. But when the panic hit, he felt as if all his insides had churned around unpleasantly, as if his stomach was rising to his throat.
Like a whirlwind, he was up and out of bed, his eyes searching frantically.
Got to get ready...damn it, damnitdamnitdamnit!
"Aya!" he hissed, shaking her. "You need to wake up now!"
Aya grunted, her hands pushing away at him before she rolled over, her back facing him. Her rather tousled hair caught the sunlight effortlessly, making it shine with an almost ethereal light...
Remus shook his head violently. Focus, you idiot.
He knelt on the bed and once again tried to awaken her.
But sleep, it seemed, would not withdraw its veil from her eyes.
Remus sighed. There was no point, it seemed, to trying any more attempts to wake her up...that much was certain. And the fact that he wanted her to continue to sleep wasn't helping the situation either. He sighed again and glanced at the clock, daring it to reveal the truth.
But then he considered his other options. By the time he got ready and got Aya conscious and properly dressed, it would most likely be closer to twelve, leaving about three hours or so of classes left, giving the day of the week. Combine that with the obvious embarrassment of probably having to walk into a class, and you have yourself a one-way ticket to suspicion upon your person. If anyone saw him with Aya walking more than tardy into a classroom, it was inevitable what possible conclusions would be made.
He looked down at Aya again and suddenly grinned. She would definitely kill him once she found out he had allowed them to skip school. But let it come.
He gently got under the covers, then found himself tracing his finger along her cheek, moving downwards to her neck. She shivered, mumbled something, then rolled over to face him, her gentle smile catching his eye. He grinned again and drew her close, smelling her hair and loving it.
School could wait.
A/R-
It felt strange that he could have fallen asleep yet again, but the utmost serenity he had felt just holding her lulled him to sleep like a sweet melody mixed with the scent of sweet flowers. That was what her scent was, he decided before he slipped into peaceful slumber. A melody of sweet flowers. It suited her, he decided. Beautiful, but quiet and soothing. She was the peace-maker, a princess of flowers, his elf-princess.
When he awoke again, the scent was still there, but there was a heat to it. He opened his eyes groggily, pushing past the swirling vortex of his vision. As his eyes came painfully into focus, he was pleased to see she slept still, her chest cushioned against him, her mouth partly open, her breathing even. He could see a slightly feverish hue to her cheeks and forehead, but he knew it was nothing minor, merely just a natural side-effect to the coming events.
He bit his lip, suddenly fearful, wondering if it would happen again, if he would suddenly lose control...if even she would lose control...
But he remembered the train ride back to Hogwarts, and his heart was relieved somewhat.
Whatever would happen, from this point on and later, they would get through together.
Remus looked up at the darkening sky, reveling at how the pinkish hue of the clouds danced with the coming stars, the almost-full moon already shining bright. Just tomorrow, and then...
He shook his head, reaching for the blanket that had somehow moved down around Aya's waist, his arm tenderly stroking her cheek.
She stirred, groaned, and yawned.
"Mhm, kettle's singin', Mum," she muttered.
Remus glanced down at her, an eyebrow raised. "What?"
Coughing, Aya sat up, rubbing her eyes, then turned towards him, her eyes focusing at last. "Huh? What're you...when...?"
"Aya, you need to wake up, I think," Remus said with a chuckle as he gently pushed a stray strand of hair from her cheek.
"Ohhh," she said with a yawn, stretching. "When did you get here?"
"Last night," he said without thinking.
"Last...what?" She closed her eyes for a minute, rubbing her temples. "Ugh...I feel sick," she groaned.
"I'm not surprised," he replied. Why was it getting so hard to keep awake, anyway? He shook his head.
She rubbed her eyes again and yawned. "I'm having trouble staying awake...why'd you wake me up, anyway?" she muttered. "School isn't for a few more hours, I guess...what time is it?"
Slowly, he turned his head towards the curtain, pulling it back just long enough to glance at Lilly's clock. "Six thirty," he said, the effort to just turn his head a pained effort with dizziness as his prize.
"That early?" Aya asked with another yawn. Sighing, she lay back against her pillow and snuggled as close as she could against him. "Mmm...wake me up in a few minutes..."
"Uh...Aya...about...about that..."
"What?" she asked, her voice muffled, but not very pleasant.
"Well, the thing is, um..."
Aya raised herself up on her elbow, her eyes narrowed. "What is it?"
"Um..I meant to say, about the time..."
Aya's eyes widened. "Oh, we're not late to school, are we?" Her tone was desperate.
Remus laughed tentatively. "We're...not late..."
Aya raised a questioning eyebrow, then narrowed her eyes. "Okay, then," she replied after a moment, then resumed her place against his chest. "Then, what's the matter?" Her voice was muffled, almost groggy with coming sleep.
"It's...it's nothing," Remus replied at last. "I'll wake you up in a bit."
"Mm...kay..." she whispered.
Remus breathed a heavy sigh of relief. There was no use getting her upset when she was sick already. That would be bad.
The door burst open, and Lilly Evans, her arms laden with books, marched in loudly, muttering to herself about the stupidity and immaturity of a certain group of boys.
Remus panicked.
"What...is she doing...?" Aya mumbled, then sat up. "Lilly? Lilly, why are you up so early?"
Lilly jumped, her books clattering to the floor. Aya winced, then pulled the curtain back.
"Huh...? Aya?" Lilly called, then summoned the candle to flame with a quick flick of her wand. Aya flinched, her eyes painfully adjusting to the sudden change in lighting. Remus sat up, his eyes wide, face as red as a tomato. Lilly eyed him suspiciously. "Remus! What in...is this where you two have been all day?"
"All day?" Aya asked, looking at Remus. "What are you talking about?"
"You two weren't at school today...the guys and I thought maybe you had gone to the hospital wing or something, but when you weren't there, we got suspicious," Lilly replied as she bent to retrieve her school books. "Actually, the dorms were the last place we thought of until dinner..."
Aya giggled. "Wait...wait, wait, wait...I must not have heard you correctly. I thought you said 'you two weren't at school today.'"
Remus gulped.
"Um...yeah," Lilly replied incredulously. "You weren't in class today."
"What?" Aya asked.
Lilly sighed. "You, Aya Centaria, and you, Remus Lupin, did...not...show up...for...school...today. Meaning you skipped it, took a vacation, ditched, whatever you want to call it."
"WHAT!"
Biting his lip, Remus winced. Uhoh...here it comes...
Aya looked at him. "Remus, did you know about this!"
Silence.
Aya gasped. "You did, didn't you!"
Remus scratched his head. "Um...define...knowing, per say..."
"Remus, you know what I mean!" she answered. "You knew we were skipping school! And you didn't tell me!"
"Well, it's not like I didn't try!" he countered. "You wouldn't wake up!"
"So? At least you could've gone to school!"
"What! And leave you here by yourself! No, thank you!"
"Well, at least one of us could've gotten an education today!"
"Well, at least both of us got to get some much-needed sleep today!"
"Don't you pull that with me! You should've gone to school!"
"I told you, I wasn't going to leave you! You asked me not to!"
"No, I didn't!"
"You were asleep..."
"Right, so that doesn't count!"
"You were having a bad dream! AGAIN!"
There was a ringing silence. Lily coughed quietly. "Well, not that this isn't any fun," she said after a moment, "but, I brought you a copy of the notes, and the homework, and I told the teachers that you two weren't feeling very well, and they understood right away...and if it makes you feel any better, Sirius, who was in trouble anyway, got you two excuses from McGonagall herself, anyway. Thus, there is no need to panic."
"Thanks, Lily," Aya and Remus said in unison.
Aya turned to Remus. "That doesn't mean you're off the hook, buster," she said, her eyes mere slits.
Still in a pleasant mood, I see, Remus thought with an inward sigh.
Muttering to herself about the unobtrusive, Aya crawled to the edge of the bed, then, placing her feet firmly on the rather cold floor, got shakily to her feet. She swayed, but used the bed as an anchor.
"What are you doing?" Remus called, an eyebrow raised.
Without turning to him, she replied, "I'm going to do my homework."
Aya took a step forward, swayed, and fell back on the bed. Remus caught her expertly before she could hurt herself.
"Yeah, Aya, you're going to do your homework," Remus answered, "when you can barely stand upright."
"You don't stand when you do homework, silly," Aya replied with a laugh.
"I kinda agree with Remus on this one, Aya," Lily said. "You really should go back to bed."
"No, no, and no," Aya replied, struggling to free herself from Remus' grasp. "I've been sleeping all day...I've got to do my homework now, if you don't mind."
"Um, Aya?" Lily said, waving a hand in front of her. "In case you haven't noticed, McGonagall gave you an excuse. Which means, your work isn't due until a later, more convenient time."
"Ne remettez pas au lendemain ce que vous pouvez faire aujourd'hui," Aya replied.
"Huh?"
"What the heck was that?" Remus said with a grin.
"French for don't put off till tomorrow that which you can do today," Aya said matter-of-factly.
"You speak French now?" Remus asked, his eyes wide with beaming pride.
She looked at him, a blush on her cheeks. "A little," she said quietly. "But it gets to the point, I think."
Remus sighed. "Lily, help me out here, would you?"
"I'm trying," Lily replied. "Look, Aya, it's not like you're going to be able to do that great of a job on the work if you're sick like that...and I doubt tomorrow you'll feel any better, so why don't you just wait until the day following the day after tomorrow to do it all?"
"Because then I'll have all the other stuff to do, that's why," Aya answered.
Lily shrugged. "Well, that settles it, I think." She grabbed her folder and withdrew some parchment. "We got our essays back in DADA, and you got a perfect score, yay for you, so did Remus, but that doesn't count since you both know the stuff like the back of your hand from experience. Oh, and I guess those who did well on the essay have no homework for the next two days...the teacher must've felt a little bad for you two. Anywho, McGonagall's assignment is horrid as usual, potions is relatively short, and astronomy class is canceled."
"What?" Remus asked. "Why?"
"Because it's a full moon, you idiot," Lily countered. "Do you honestly think people wouldn't be suspicious if they heard you two howling away all night while they're on the roof? Besides, you can barely see the stars with the moon that bright anyway...well, that's what the excuse is from the teacher. Oh, and Remus, I got your assignment from Muggle Studies."
"I'm not doing homework," Remus replied indignantly.
"You most certainly are," Aya replied, pulling free of him at last. "Or you sleep in your own bed tonight."
"Can I borrow someone's quill pen?" Remus asked.
A/R-
Three tedious hours later, Remus managed to crawl into bed. His last rushed meeting with the toilet left an unpleasant taste in the back of his throat. It was safe to say he was a little upset at the moment.
"Three rolls of parchment for Transfiguration," he groaned. "Why does the world hate me?"
"It doesn't hate you," Aya mumbled.
"I like to sleep over here, people," Lily hissed from her bed.
"Good night to you, too, Lily," Remus called.
"No action from either of you, understand? I like to remain outside the traumatized boundaries, thank you," Lily replied. "Why I'm even letting that idiot stay is beyond me, Aya."
Aya giggled, then pulled the covers over her head.
"What're you doing?" Remus asked.
"Cold," Aya's muffled voice replied.
He was about to reply when he felt her snuggle against him, her face burrowing into his chest like a tiny animal. Raising an eyebrow, unable to contain his grin, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
"...Can't...breathe..."
"What? Oh, sorry."
Remus relaxed his hold, then placed the covers over his head as well, unexpectedly receiving warm lips from her. Aya giggled.
"Peace and quiet is a lovely thing for sleeping," Lily said loudly.
A/R-
There was something moving in the shadows, just beyond eyesight. It appeared, moved, then disappeared, all under the shadows' beckoning arms. Fast-paced running, screams behind...it was maddening to contain, but the constantly moving shadow, keeping up, slowing down, then running ahead, seemed to take all considerations, all meditations, all knowledge. Senses were locked away and dulled past stupidity, as if time were stopping or simply slowing down. Whatever the cause, something horrific and important was about to happen.
But the unexpected leap of the wolf, its death-trap of teeth open wide, its brown eyes shining under the full moon, took the breath away, allowing proper time to roll forward, to run towards the gleaming sliver of something ahead, but to trip and fall nonetheless.
And then the scream came.
A/R
Aya was shaken forcefully awake in the moonlit darkness, and for a moment, she thought she was somewhere beyond sight. She shook violently, pushing away whatever the thing was that was trying to clutch her shoulders. Gasping, she screamed again, pressing her back against the wall.
"Don't! Don't touch me! I won't go there, I won't let you! You can't touch me, don't!" she screamed. "Stop it! Stop! Becky!"
"Aya! It's me! Listen, listen!"
"It's us, Aya! Look!"
She stopped fighting, stopped trying to push herself through the wall behind her, stopped trying to scream again. Dizziness clutched at her before the nausea, but the disillusionment was ebbing away at last.
"Lily...Remus...? Where...?" she whispered, her throat tight and constricted.
"Oh, thank God," Lily breathed. "I thought you were dying!"
Lily sank to her knees, resting her elbows on the bed for a moment.
Aya was beginning to shiver, her teeth chattering uncontrollably. "Where...?"
"You're in your room, Aya," Remus said with concern, placing a hand to her burning forehead. "Damn," he whispered. "God, you're just drenched in sweat...here..."
He took off his shirt and carefully wiped her forehead.
"Well, that was scary," Lily said with a sigh of relief.
Aya shook her head, nausea growing slightly. "What...happened...?" she whispered.
"You started tossing and turning and screaming," Remus said simply, massaging her temples. "In other words, scaring us out of our minds."
Aya blinked furiously. "I...I think I'm gonna be sick..." she moaned.
"Well, come on, then," Lily replied, motioning for her to follow. "We'll get you a damp cloth and...there she goes..."
"Should I run after her?" Remus asked.
"No, no, that's where boys should never go," Lily replied. "I'll be right back..."
A/R-
"Aya?" Lily half-whispered. "Are you okay now?"
"No..." Aya groaned.
Frowning, Lily moved towards the stall that was the furthest away and opened the door slowly. In the flickering candlelight, she could see Aya sitting on the tiled floor, her bare feet curled under her as she sat, clutching the toilet as if for dear life, her cheek resting lightly on the seat. Aya opened one storm-grey eye to look at her friend, then pushed herself into a more proper sitting position, resting, this time, her chin on her knees as she drew her legs close to her chest.
Lily knelt in front of her friend and felt her forehead. Shaking her head, she stood, saying, "Let me get you a damp cloth, okay?"
Aya mumbled an agreement, then closed her eyes, feeling as if the whole room was tilting to the side, then spinning dramatically. Groaning, Aya put her hand to her lips, then turned quickly to the porcelain bowl yet again and retched.
"Just keep trucking," Lily said as she soaked the clean face-towel always provided in the girl's bathroom a little bit more. That done, she moved towards the stall and knelt before Aya once again. "Here, this will make you feel better..."
Carefully, she placed the damp towel to Aya's forehead.
It felt cool and soft, but a little too wet. Excess water trickled down into her hair, down her neck and into to her nightshirt. She shivered, but said nothing.
"Do you want to go to the Hospital Wing? I'm sure Madame Pomfrey can help you fight the nausea," Lily suggested.
"No...that's okay," Aya whispered back, her voice groggy. "I just...want to go to bed..."
"I told you doing your homework was a bad idea," Lily answered with a smile.
Aya smiled weakly. "I know, I know...should listen to you..."
Lily sighed and shook her head. "You want to tell me what happened? Why were you screaming?"
Aya coughed. "It's nothing..."
"Oh, for the love of...do you...what the...come on!" Lily cried. Aya winced. "I'm not stupid! Something's up, and you better tell me what the hell was going on with you or so help me, I'll...I'll...do something so horrid I haven't the slightest idea what it is yet!"
"Please...can I just...go to bed?" Aya asked. Lily could see her cringing, her fingers lacing together, her eyes suddenly downcast.
"Ohhh...fine," Lily replied. "Maybe Remus can get it out of you..."
With a heavy sigh, she carefully helped her friend to her feet.
A/R-
"Are you feeling better?" Remus asked as he helped Aya into bed.
She nodded slowly. "I'm fine."
"Yes, and, oh, by the way, she threw up twice or so," Lily said as she pulled back her own covers and got into bed with a sigh. "And, no, she wouldn't tell me what's wrong, and no, she doesn't want to go to the Hospital Wing, and yeah, she said 'it's nothing' again."
Remus growled. "You scare us shitless, and now you say it's nothing," he muttered.
Aya sighed and rolled over, her back to him as she faced the window.
"Um, Aya, sweetie," Lily urged, "you really need to talk about whatever it is that's bothering you..."
"There's nothing to talk about," Aya replied quietly.
"Damn it, girl!" Lily cried, sitting up. "There is something to talk about, because it's bothering you! Out with it!"
"I don't want to," she whispered. "Just leave it alone and go on to sleep."
"But...but this is something that's rather important!" Lily hissed.
"No, this is one of those things you just don't pry people about!"
Aya's tone was desperate and actually dangerous. Lily was thrown into silence.
"Lily," Remus said after a while, "just lay low for right now..."
"Fine...fine," Lily hissed as she lay back.
With a grateful sigh, Remus lay back and placed a reassuring arm around his raven-haired mystery. She said nothing, remaining as still as possible to stare at the clouds that moved past the moon, knowing full well she wouldn't be able to fall asleep again.
A/R-
After about twenty minutes of silent pondering, Aya wondered why it was always so quiet at three o'clock in the morning, as if time had stopped. It just felt a little strange, almost beyond reality's grasp, for seemingly the entire world to have fallen into pure silence. Then, it was the hour when everything was preparing to wake up, or simply go to sleep. The thought of such silence inundated the mind completely.
Aya shivered. In forty-eight hours' time, she knew, she'd be winding down, preparing the transition into her human self again. The thought chilled her. It wasn't the wolf that really frightened her...it was the transition itself. Becoming wolf or becoming human didn't really mean much, but the transformation of both mind and body was enough terror for one evening. She sighed and brought her knees closer to her chest.
The windowsill where she sat still felt cold, but the view was breathtaking. As the milk-white clouds shifted and glided across the moon, nearly at its full, the shadows seemed to dance like shadow-sprites from another world. Aya watched the trees sway in the gentle wind, the lake catching the moon's reflection and cradling it as if it were a newborn, unaware that the process had been repeated countless times over eons upon eons.
It was just so quiet, so peaceful.
Aya leaned against the window, a delicate hand pressing against the glass as she stared down at the white ground, a sheer drop down the castle's side, a gentle leap into the open arms of nothingness before you fell like a whistling rock to the grass below. She had never really been afraid of heights. Swimming, she knew, she would always fear for her own reasons she never wished to reveal to anyone, but heights were never a problem. Why, she probably would never know...but like a night under the full moon, it was a sense of freedom, of endless possibilities, as if she could reach up and grasp a star.
She pulled back from the window and rested her head against the stone wall with a gentle sigh, then looked out again. The mountains seemed covered in a heavy mist.
Aya prayed it wouldn't snow.
A/R-
Lily's attempts to be as quiet as possible were rather shattered into innumerable pieces from the very moment she set her feet on the stone floor. Not wanting to risk a light, she ran toe-first into the books she had left on the floor earlier, leading to an inevitable meeting with the floor and the melody of a string of curses.
Luckily for her, Remus was deep in slumber. Aya was trying hard not to laugh outright. After listening to her friend struggle in the darkness, Aya moved towards the end of her bed, reached down, drew out her wand, and whispered, "Lumos."
The wand came to life with surprising brilliance. Aya squinted, then pulled back the curtain.. Lily stared at her for a moment.
"I thought you could use some light," Aya whispered. "Why are you up so early?"
"I was too tired to shower last night," Lily explained. "And you know I take forever."
Aya grinned knowingly. "Here, get your wand out now, since the light's still going. And don't worry about being too loud."
Lily nodded, then fumbled in her cloak for her wand. "Why are you up?" Lily asked. "Lumos." Her wand followed in brilliancy.
Aya shrugged. "I'm not that tired, and I couldn't sleep."
"Couldn't sleep, or just didn't want to?"
Aya shrugged again, but said nothing. "Hurry up with your shower, Lily."
A/R-
By the time Lily had returned, it was already past dawn. Morning light filtered in through the window. Aya looked up from her book as Lily entered, straightening her school outfit.
"Took you long enough," Aya said with a giggle.
"Told you I take a long time," Lily replied, then smiled. "You don't look all that well."
"Well, I feel just this side of horrid," Aya answered truthfully. "But I'll be fine."
"Don't worry about notes, I'll get them."
Aya smiled. "I know. Thank you for doing it."
Lily shrugged. "It's either me, or putting all faith in James."
Aya giggled, pushing a stray strand of hair from her cheek. "You really should hurry up...you'll be late to breakfast, and you know how James gets when he has to wait for you to eat."
"Ah, yes," Lily replied with a grin. "The horrid situation of being a gentleman." She shook her head. "I guess I'll see you later this evening." Lily, stretching, waved farewell to her friend and was out the door.
Aya watched the door close for a moment, then closed her book, leaning against the windowsill for a moment. Her gaze went to Remus, who lay curled into a ball, a grin on his face, his rather tousled hair making him look rather childish. She smiled softly, then sat forward to massage her temples.
Damn headache...
If there was any other time for the room to choose to spin, she wished it wasn't at that moment. She closed her eyes against it and sighed heavily, hoping against all hopes that she wouldn't have to make another mad dash to the girl's lavatories any time soon.
A/R-
Aya swayed as she reentered her room, closing the door softly behind her. Glancing at the clock, she shook her head in dismay. It was barely half-past twelve, and she desperately wanted to get properly dressed, but found no strength to do so; not that her pajamas weren't comfortable, but it always felt uncomfortable for her to wear them past an unreasonable hour.
Sighing, she moved slowly and carefully to her bed, and was startled beyond reason when the curtains opened on their own...
"Cripes, Remus!" Aya cried as she got to her feet, rubbing her probably bruised behind.
"What...? Oh, hi, there!" Remus replied with a chuckle as he helped her into bed. "I was just going to the bathroom...didn't mean to startle you..."
"S'okay," she replied as she sat down.
There was a momentary silence.
"Well?" Aya asked. "Aren't you going...?"
"What? Oh, yeah!" Remus answered, moving to answer the bathroom's call. His foot, however, decided to entangle itself in the sheets, and Remus made an oh-so-necessary rendezvous with the floor.
Aya thought she would die with laughter.
"Are...are you...haha...okay?" she managed to choke out as she leaned over the edge of the bed.
"I'm...okay!" his muffled response came as he gave her the thumbs-up sign. Shakily, he got to his feet, removed the disdainful sheet from his foot, and tried in vain to smooth back his rather tousled hair. "I'm in pain, but a true man takes the pain with a grin."
Aya raised a questioning eyebrow.
"What?" Remus asked indignantly.
Aya shook her head.
"What!"
"Nothing, nothing," she replied with a giggle. "A 'true man', huh?"
"Yes!" he cried, crossing his arms.
"And sleeping in a fetal position has nothing to do with it?" she asked innocently.
"I don't sleep in a fetal position!"
"You do, too," she replied calmly.
"Do not."
"Remus, I would know."
"Oh, stop teasing me," he said, exasperated.
She sat up and smiled, her feet barely touching the floor from where she sat. Remus stamped his foot in impatience, his lips a thin line. Aya sighed. "Oh, come here, I was just kidding," she giggled.
"You were not."
Aya wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against his stomach before looking up at him as innocently as possible. Remus looked away with indignation clear in his eyes. "Oh, come off it," she said, then stuck out her lower lip. "I said I was kidding."
He looked down at her, then shook his head. "I will not be daunted by the lower lip thing."
Aya's lip trembled, her storm-grey eyes sparkling as if with summer rain over a stormy sea. She whimpered softly and clung to him as if desperately.
Remus hesitated.
"Damn it," he muttered. "Alright, alright! Can I go pee now, or is that a crime?"
She smiled almost seductively, then moved up to give him a quick kiss. "Well, go on then," she whispered in his ear, then moved back to the bed, wrapping the covers about her before she took her novel in her hands.
Remus sighed and did as he was told.
A/R-
There was a quick, almost clumsy movement, a clatter, and a quick curse. Aya pulled back the curtain around the bed and watched as Remus half-danced, clutching his toe, his glare at Lily's bed rather daunting.
"Stupid bed in the way, stupid books on floor," he muttered, then swayed. "Stupid dizziness, stupid spinning room, stupid headache..."
Aya shook her head. "What are we going to do today?"
"Sleep," Remus muttered as he sat down next to her, still rubbing his toe.
Aya closed her book with a sigh. "We did that yesterday. Let's do something else."
"I'm feeling rather ill..."
"I am, too, but I'm bored. Can't we do something? Please?"
Remus growled. "Stupid lower lip thing..."
A/R-
Two games of Wizard's Chess later, a surprisingly beaten Remus lay back on the pillow, watching as Aya put the pieces back in their box. He reveled in how her wrinkled, rather oversized nightshirt shifted as she moved, suddenly exposing a bit of pale shoulder. Finding himself staring, he shook his head, then gently laid his head on her shoulder, tracing his fingertips along her neck.
Aya trembled, caught cleverly off-guard, yet oh, so grateful for it. She closed her eyes, resting her head on his, her whole body relaxing. He sighed, then moved to kiss her neck, the sensation traveling from her neck downwards in pleasant chills. Giggling softly, she wrapped her arms about him and pulled him close, reaching down to kiss his waiting, tender lips, waiting for a taste of summer raindrops, of fresh running water in a mountain spring, reveling in his scent of something quite beyond gentle rainwater, beyond touch, beyond woods. And even as his tongue slipped into her mouth, edging along her own, she smiled, slipping down, down, down...like a feather caught on a gentle breeze. If he could kiss her forever, just like that, she would be content, even as she pushed him gently back to the pillow.
He almost felt himself startled, but he softened immediately, answering her kiss with a gentle caress of his fingertips along her back. If he could hold her closer still, just like that, he would be content, even as he traced the tips of his fingers to her hair. Never mind the electrical charge he felt. Just to press that soft, warm body full of gentle smiles and storm-grey eyes was an Elysium all its own.
Her kiss was a little stronger now, a little more forceful, but still as quiet as she was. She would whisper something softly, and he could hear it echo throughout his entire being, down to his very core, sinking deep into his pounding heart. He wanted to answer her, but found his own happiness in tracing a finger down past her shoulder, past her neck, ever down...but the softness he suddenly felt made him half-stop and hesitate...had his hands moved too quickly? Should a man, no, a boy, hesitate at that? Or should that boy continue, to touch where he wished, to signal his ascension to manhood?
She said nothing against it, only closing her eyes and pressing him further. By the look in her eye, he knew...knew it as if she had said it aloud...
His entire hand caressed that softness of her, while his other moved towards her back, holding her close, using his lips to kiss her lips, her neck, and that gentle softness. A moan, a gentle passing of air from her lips, escaped her, a signal, blatantly pure, full of an unspoken understanding. Go further, it whispered, it begged, it pleaded. Go further, and trouble the hesitation no more...
But who was in control, he found himself wondering?
He could slip her nightshirt over her head, could revel in the gentle caresses her hair gave him while dancing cleverly across his chest, could gently caress her breasts, could desire to remove that last strip of garment that kept her from true freedom. But was it right for him to be in full control?
His answer came. Her hands were just as controlling as his, just as able to remove barriers from him, to strip him down to his own pure nature...to even make his breath catch in his throat. Yes, her hands were just as controlling, and perhaps just as clever.
They clutched at his rather tight boxers, but the gentle caress was surprisingly clear.
She found herself astonished that she had touched him that way so quickly, so unconsciously, as if her hands moved on their own, answering to her desire, her pleasure, a pulsing, beating thing that burned and pleasured and trembled her to her core; she was slipping and falling, trembling into him, her hand still poised around the elastic waist of his boxers, her other...it no longer moved on its own...
It took him a moment to realize he still held his breath, and when he released it, it came out as a moan. He shivered at her caresses as sweat formed at his brow, his own fingertips tracing further downwards until she, too, felt the breath catch at her throat, her eyes closing suddenly, her hands almost removing his boxers...but still the hesitation...
And yet he pressed her to him even closer, his lips meeting once again with hers...she was whispering something whenever she could draw breath from the torrent of his and her lips...knew she was slowly trying to remove that last remaining garment, to fall on him, to have him dive into her like a deep pool, deeply, deeply...
The door opened.
Both Remus and Aya took one quick look at each other, their sweaty brows, Aya almost naked, her shirt somewhere on or off the bed, Remus with an erection and half of his boxers off, not to mention his missing shirt. Only two words would best sum-up their present situation, two words to be echoed throughout history as a monument in the English language.
Oh shit.
Aya fumbled for the covers, drawing it up and over them both, grateful that the curtain still remained around them.
But she knew their silhouettes.
"Guys, it's just me," Lily said from across the room, almost laughing. "You'd think you two were doing something naughty! Anywho, I brought you guys some lunch and some of the notes and homework...no doubt Aya would want that rather badly at the moment."
Remus cleared his throat. "Um, um, sure, sure! Thanks, Lily!" he said breathlessly.
There was a moment's pause.
"You guys okay? Remus, you sound rather out of breath," Lily mused.
"W-we're fine, Lily, j-just fine! Just, you know...the usual full moon thing," Aya answered as she searched for her shirt with her eyes.
The damn thing had fallen to the floor.
Lily would not be cast aside. Narrowing her eyes, she marched right to the curtain and drew it back, then crossed her arms. "What are you two up to?" she asked, an eyebrow raised.
Aya peered out from where she hid under the covers, conscious of her red, flushed face. Remus tried his best to put on a grin, but knew it was looking rather pathetic. "N-nothing much," Aya replied, shifting a little under the covers. "Shouldn't you be going back to class?"
"Lunch just started," Lily replied as Aya's nightshirt caught her eye. "I'm going to assume you guys aren't hungry."
"Not really," Remus said quickly.
"Mm-hmm," Lily replied absent-mindedly as she bent to pick up the shirt. Aya winced. "Aya?"
Aya blanched. "Yes...?"
"Is this yours?"
"What? That? Mine? Uh...no, I don't think so...it may be mine, but I don't know how it got there...besides, I changed my pajamas this morning...after...after you left...yeah, because I just felt...I wanted something...fresh...clean, you know?"
"Aya, I thought you only owned one pair of pajamas...and I think this is it."
Oh shit.
There was a long moment of silence.
Lily shook her head. "Naughty...very, very naughty. I'm...just going to leave your stuff here next to the bed and walk out as quickly as possible. Homework, lunch, sleep. Bye."
Giving Remus the eye, Lily placed the books and bag on the floor, then marched out. Aya detected a smirk on the girl's face.
The door closed.
"Oh, dear God," Remus breathed.
Aya remained silent, her eyes wide as she watched the door. Remus looked down at her, his eyes narrowing quickly.
"Aya?" he asked, still breathless. "You okay?"
"I think I just experienced my most embarrassing moment to date," she answered, then broke into a giggle. "That was pretty funny."
"Yeah, and she did that before," he replied with annoyance.
"What? When?"
"Um...well, you know...I thought...I should escort you here...you know, in September, or something? Cause...you weren't feeling well, and...well, Lily burst in on us...well...you know..."
"Remus we weren't having sex, we were kissing."
He blushed, sucking in air through his teeth. "Well, yeah, but it's not like we were gonna...you know...do that...well..."
Aya suddenly pushed herself up on her hands, forgetting the fact that her nightshirt had still not been replaced, and was now oblivious to the fact that poor Remus was having a hard time trying to look her in the face without immediately looking just south of her neck. His boxers were suddenly tight again.
"You weren't thinking we were gonna do it?" she pressed.
"W-wha...?"
Remus snapped to her eyes again.
"You weren't thinking we were...well, you know..." Aya whispered.
"What...oh, that...well...I...I dunno...were you?"
"Were you?"
"I asked you first, Aya."
"Actually, Remus, I think I asked you first."
Remus suddenly looked puzzled, his attention fully on her face. "You did...? Well, I...I...um...well, you see...I..."
He coughed.
Aya sighed, but suddenly lost the energy to keep herself up and had to ease herself down, resting her cheek on his chest. She sighed. Are we getting sexual? Is this where we're going?
It was blatant, but it wasn't as if it was unexpected...was it?
Aya found herself wondering...if Lily had not entered when she did, would they have gone further? Would Remus have allowed it? Would she? And now what did Lily think of them both, Lily, who tended to be blunt in public?
"You know, I think we were just going to go by the moment," Remus said suddenly.
"Hmm?"
He shrugged. "I dunno...I think we were just going to let whatever happened happen. Who knows."
There was a long moment's silence, a moment's reflection, a moment's time of inner thoughts, inner questions...
"Where do you think we'll be, Remus?"
The question was so sudden, Remus was thrown back by it.
"What?" he asked.
Aya closed her eyes. "I mean...what do you want to do later? Where...where do you want to go after graduation?"
"Huh," he answered, then grinned. "Anywhere you go is fine with me."
She giggled. "That's not an answer...besides, that puts all the pressure on me to succeed, doesn't it?"
"If you want specifics," he said, "I'd like to go into the city...like London...get a nice apartment with a nice job, and maybe...I dunno..."
"What?"
"I dunno."
"No, what?"
"I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you. How does that sound?"
Aya was shocked into silence.
Remus continued. "You know, like...start, maybe, a family or something...raise a few kids, then grow old togther until we're too tired to live on much." He found himself wrapping his arms about her as she moved closer to him. "You know?"
She smiled. "I'd like that," she whispered. "I'd...I'd like that very much..."
Remus chuckled. "I thought you would," he whispered. "So, do you want to sleep, eat, or do homework? It's your choice, I guess."
"Well, I said I wanted to do something..."
"Yeah, but I chose the game," he pointed out. "What do you want to do?"
Moving through the sheets...shivering in sweat...pleasant moans and...
Aya blinked furiously.
"Lunch sounds great."
A/R-
For as long as she could remember, the bumpiest part of the road was at the beginning, past the small, iron gate with its small little picture of a Centaur on the front. Every time she passed it, the sunlight wrapped its pleasantries about it, right down to its delicately carved hooves. She would always watch it until she had to crane her neck and climb over her mother's lap just to look at it one final time: a mythical creature that was torn right out of Carrol's story. And her mother would always giggle at her, place her elegant hand on her head, and push her gently into a sitting position.
The carriage moved on.
It was a long road, she remembered...a road that twisted and turned messily up the hill as if an enormous infant had scattered its toys about in a fit of frenzied giggling. The trees that lined it - sentries, her father later told her, watching his little elf pass - seemed to always sway gently in a soft breeze, an even softer lullaby in their branches. They weren't as formless then as her memory now allotted her, but they all held the same feeling: of peace, of serenity, of a sense of homecoming.
The carriage moved on.
As they rounded the last curve in the road, the house seemed to spring up out of the very ground like a fresh new yellow flower rushing through Time. The windows always caught the sunshine in their exotic grasp, glimmering like tiny stars in a bright sky. As the carriage slowed, the horse whinnying in excitement, the large, dust-red doors would open slowly, invitingly, all at the beck and call of an unseen hand.
Her brother would always jump from the carriage first, his feet racing him up the stairs and into the yellow house with ease.
She always lingered, long after her parents had followed, to wander slowly off towards the edge of the cliff to watch the sun sink beneath the waves, the sky rosy pink. It was in those moments, especially when her mother came to place her hands on her daughter's shoulders and hold her close, that she understood what it was to have peace.
And she felt as if she would sprout wings and sail off over the ocean...
A/R-
"lo...hello! Aya!"
Startled, Aya turned from the window, her eyes alighting on him after a moment.
"You spaced out again, huh?" Remus chuckled as he sat up.
She shrugged, smiling softly, and looked back towards the window, back towards the sunset, back towards the sky with its rosy hue. "I was just thinking," she replied as he wrapped his arms about her and drew her close.
"Oh? About what, pray tell?" he asked in her ear.
Giggling, she shrugged and snuck in a gentle kiss to the back of his hand, her eyes never leaving the fading sunset. "Nothing much...memories, life, that whole thing," she answered.
"Thinking about tomorrow?"
"What about tomorrow?"
"Aya..."
"What?"
"Nothing," Remus replied. "Never mind."
A/R-
As another ray of petulant sunshine fell across her brow, even before she had the courage or even the utmost desire to open her eyes, Aya knew it was already reaching the afternoon. Groaning and cursing the sunlight, the afternoon, the headache, the nausea, and anything else she could come up with, she blindly grabbed her blanket and drew it formally over her head, sinking into the semi-darkness underneath with a pleasant, if not provoked, sigh of gratitude.
Suddenly, without warning, her sovereign blanket was torn unceremoniously from her grasp, immediately exposing her to that damnable light. With a loud curse, she sat up, became dizzy, and immediately met with her pillow yet again. A deep growl forming in her throat, she opened one angry eye to glare defiantly at her blanket's usurper - or rather, the back of Mr. Remus Lupin.
"Remus!" she hissed as she tried to reach for the blanket.
Muttering something, he shied away unconsciously from her searching fingers and slept on.
Cursing incoherently under her breath, Aya pushed herself up at last, steadied herself, grabbed the stolen blanket, and pulled. But apparently, Remus' fetal position had become her bane at last; the blanket itself was now wrapped around him, neck to toes, in a fit that even King Arthur would have trouble removing.
Chewing her lip, she pressed her back to the wall, drew her knees to her chest, took aim, and pushed against him with all the strength she could muster in her legs.
There was a triumphant smack as body met with floor in a tremendous tumble of blanket, hair, and boy. A few seconds later, a slightly dazed and rather enraged Remus sat up from the ground.
"What the bloody hell did you do that for!" he swore.
Unable to contain herself, Aya pressed her head against the wall and laughed herself silly as Remus, grumbling, managed to crawl back onto the bed.
"So not funny...so not funny..." he murmured as he collapsed on the bed, gazing up at her with a glare.
"You took my blanket," she said after a moment's pause.
"And that was an incentive to push me off the bed!"
"Of course it was," Aya replied matter-of-factly as she placed her head on the pillow once again. "No stealing in this bed."
"I didn't...oh, never mind," he muttered, then moved onto his back and placed his hand over his eyes. For a moment, he reveled in the darkness before it began to tear him into nauseating dizziness. Blinking, he removed his hand and opened his eyes to stare as Aya passed over him. "BLOODY HELL!" he roared.
"What?" she asked as she stepped down from the bed and straightened her nightshirt.
"You want to warn me next time before you pass over my face wearing nothing but a t-shirt and undergarments!" he cried, staring at her, his face red and his boxers tight...again.
She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head. "You want to warn me next time you decide to look?"
"Well, you...you...uh...jeez..."
Aya, her arms crossed, raised an eyebrow. "Can I go now?"
"Where are you going?"
"The bathroom, silly."
"Oh...yeah..yeah, go ahead...and how do we plan on getting there?" he asked triumphantly.
"Walking..."
"Good luck and try not to fall over," he said before he pulled the blanket over his face.
"What's that su-...oh, never mind," she muttered before turning on her heels, swaying, nearly falling, and marching out of the room as quickly as she could, trying to withhold the nausea inside.
A/R-
"I'm saying it's bloody madness!"
"Prongs, if I needed your opinion, I would've asked for it!"
"Well, cripes, Padfoot, you nitwit! When have you not needed my opinion! Last time I checked, you were crawling to my feet begging for my advice!"
"That was advice, not opinion!"
Clearly perturbed, Remus sat up with a low growl in his throat and croaked out, "Will you guys just get your butts in here already!"
The door opened at long last as Sirius, James, and Peter entered, Aya in tow. She closed the door quietly, her cheeks a little pale as she moved to the bed and sat down with a grateful sigh. For a moment she stared at the ground, her eyes unfocused before she closed them and drew her face to her waiting palms. Concerned, Remus sat up and began massaging her shoulders, trying to block out the apparent argumentation of his friends.
"Do you guys need something?" he finally managed to say.
Sirius, turning to him, laughed. "Oh, yeah...forgot, old dog. I just had this great idea!"
James crossed his arms and looked away. "Without my help, of course...I wanted to give him more advice, but no, had to do it himself, says he...doesn't need my bloody help...pansy."
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A PANSY!"
"AND DAMN PROUD OF IT, TOO, PADFOOT!"
"OH, IT'S ON, ANTLER-BOY! RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!"
"PANSY!"
"ANTLER-BOY!"
"Will all of you SHUT THE HELL UP!" Aya screamed, looking up at last.
In the ringing silence that followed, Aya managed to put her head in her hands again. Unclenching his teeth, Remus could barely summon the strength to say, "It's another one of those days...so, why are we all here?"
Coughing a bit, Sirius replied, "We want you two to go to the Shrieking Shack. And no what-ifs, hesitations, or lack of confidence will be required. So, you'll all get a nice and warm spot and not freeze to death!"
Aya, looking up, glanced at Remus, and eyebrow arched above her stormy eyes. Remus could only shrug.
A/R-
"I don't think I'll ever understand you kids," Madame Pomfrey said through a low cloud of misty breath. She wrapped her arms tighter about her after securing her wand in her apron pocket. "But if you want to go early, go early..."
"It's not that early," Remus replied with a quiet sneeze. "It was getting bloody cold in the common room anyway, and it's only four. Sunset's at six, isn't it?"
Madame Pomfrey sniffed. "I'm a Healer, Mr. Lupin, not an astronomer, and I certainly do not keep the time very well. You two, of all people, should have sunset down to a pinch for every month, if you catch my drift. Now I'll be in the Hospital Wing if you'll be needing anything afterwards. And no funny business from either of you. I'm sure somebody's given you the things-teenagers-shouldn't-do-together speech. Why I'm letting you two do this is beyond me."
"Because it's cold where I go?" Aya suggested.
"Sure," Madame Pomfrey replied with yet another sniff before she turned towards the distant Hogwarts Castle, her skirts trailing over the snow-covered ground, her boots leaving deep footprints in the white blanket.
Aya watched her leave for a moment before she felt Remus slipped his gloved hand to hers. She blushed for a moment inside her scarf.
"This way," Remus said quietly, leading her by the hand towards the Willow with the ease of experience. "Be careful when you go underground...it gets really slippery."
Carefully, steadily, he grabbed the lone, silent tree root and eased himself down to the floor of the tunnel, then turned to help her. As she moved down closer to him, he gently grasped her hips and lowered her with any strength he had, biting his lip to hold back that damnable dizziness.
"Alright?" he whispered.
Aya nodded, looking past him down the dark tunnel, uncertainty clear in her eyes.
"Don't worry...it's always a little dark in here, but the Shack's a bit more lit despite all the boarded windows and doors about," Remus said quickly, noting her eyes. "Come on."
The tunnel in itself was dank and full of the oppressive scent of raw earth. It felt as if at any moment, she could see some little creature burrow past them; but nothing of the sort happened, only dirt falling from the ceiling at small patches as the Willow resumed its activities that got its atrocious name. Their boots made odd noises as they passed through wetter mud, but other than that, silence was the tunnel's keeper. Aya shivered; to go alone down this tunnel must be a little frightening, especially for an eleven year old. She glanced at Remus and his withdrawn eyes and instinctively reached for his hand once again, a gentle squeeze drawing him back to the present with ease.
Quite suddenly, the tunnel began to slope upwards at a gentle pace. It would've been easy for a normal person. It wasn't quite so easy for two very dizzy, very nauseous, and very tired people. Aya could feel the sweat trickle down her cheeks and shivered in the growing cold.
"It...won't...be this cold..." Remus huffed. "S'always...cold...this spot..."
Gritting his teeth, he stood up towards the close ceiling and pushed until a square section of it seemed to peel away the darkness. Dim, grey light filtered in from above as Remus let the trap door fall to the side with a dusty clatter.
"Dustier...after a few months..." he panted, "how...dismal."
Coughing, he hoisted himself up to the apparent floor, then bent down to help her up as well. As he drew her up, he trembled slightly, then shook his head against it before helping her to her feet again. Stretching his arms, he closed the trapdoor with his foot, moving away from the billowing cloud of dust that followed with the rickety floor. Sniffing, he looked about him for a moment, suddenly ashamed of the torn furniture, the ripped wood on the stairs, the animal prints from his friends, the broken chandelier just ahead of them in the apparent "dining room." He shook his head; a bachelor pad indeed.
Looking up, he pointed towards the hallway just above them. "We can go up the stairs if you'd like...down here, there isn't much to sit on or anything, but there's a good room upstairs," he told her quickly. It's better than the soiled couch down here, he thought with a grimace. "Oh! I'll show you up."
Taking her hand again, he led her towards the rotting banister and marched quickly up the creaking, slightly swaying staircase as if it were a normality. "Don't worry about all the creaks and groans and sways," he said without turning his head to her. "Been like this for years and nothing's happened yet."
"Yet?" she asked tentatively.
He blushed. "Well, I meant to say it's safe. The guys and I tested it loads of times. Should be good."
The hallway was seemingly worse than downstairs: certainly more dismal, clearly dustier, and catastrophically covered with the signs of a wolf's passing. He sighed.
"Do me a favor," he said after a moment as he passed the first room, "don't ever look in the first room by the stairs."
"Why?" she asked, her clear voice like a knife through the dusty silence of the old Shack.
"I really don't think you could stand the stench," he muttered as he pressed his free hand to the familiar doorknob. Hello, old friend, he thought with a grimace. As he opened the rather silent door - or, more accurately, as it swung inward off its hinge as usual - he said, "This is the cleanest room this Shack could ever have."
Did he detect a tone of pride? Whether there had been or not, he couldn't deny that he really did want to impress her with at least something in this old hell-hole. The mattress in the middle of the floor at least wasn't covered with more dust than usual or covered in the spots of the usual foul things that had affected this place for going on six years. It could only make him feel a little better despite the boarded window, the only solace he had ever had to the outside world.
The only terrible thing about that window was that it looked to the west, towards the sunset.
How he had watched that orb sink past the horizon and wished to God he could fade away...
He watched her enter the room, looking about for a moment with a strange hint of a smile to her rosy lips, her cheeks unusually red from the trek. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he watched her slip the gloves from her hands, pale skin exposed first before they slipped from her fingers and down to her pockets. For a moment she stood there, eyes moving towards the window before she let her jacket fall from her shoulders and to the dusty floor below as if she could care less about dust on her clothes.
"I thought you would mind," Remus said at last, breaking through the silence with a strange notion.
She turned to him, a slight blush on her cheeks. "Mind what?" she asked.
He nodded towards the floor. "The dust and the dirt."
She smiled. "Why would I mind?"
He shrugged, then realized his still stood in the doorway. As he sought to remedy the situation, he watched her sit on the mattress with a grateful sigh, her palms behind her back as she leaned slightly against her arms, her eyes towards the window again.
"God, this play is so old," Remus said after a moment, looking around for a moment with his hands childishly in his pockets.
"I think it could be quite quaint if you look at it like that," Aya said after a moment, turning to him.
"An old shack could be quaint," he replied with a raised eyebrow. He shrugged. "I always used to hate this place."
"You can tell by the bitten couch downstairs," she replied with a giggle.
He blushed madly as he stared down at his feet.
"Oh, come here and take your jacket and gloves off," she giggled. "I didn't mean to offend."
He shrugged. "You didn't," he said as he placed his gloves in his pocket and unzipped his jacket before placing it with hers. Sighing, he sat down next to her and placed his head on her shoulders. There was a long moment of silence.
"Do you know what I used to dream about when I was little?" she whispered.
"Mmm...what?" he whispered back.
"Long horse rides through fields that would stretch on forever, where the sun was always in the middle of the sky," she replied with a giggle. "My mother used to think it was a premonition that I was to be a genius at horseback riding. But my dad thought it was ludicrous and dangerous. He said petting horses was enough for me."
"Did you ever get to ride a horse?"
She stretched and lay back on the mattress with a sigh. "Eventually I did, actually...my mum thought it would be a grand adventure. Ha, my dad watched from the sidelines. He looked ready to blow his top," she giggled.
Remus traced his finger along her neck for a moment before wrapping his arm about her and drawing her close as they both stared up at the ceiling. "Were you good at it?" he asked.
"Not in the slightest," Aya giggled. "I enjoyed it a lot, though. Almost fell off, but I laughed my way through it."
"They must love you very much," he whispered.
She sighed. "They did."
There was another momentary pause.
"Shouldn't we undress?" Aya asked suddenly.
"Anxious, are we?" Remus teased.
She laughed. "No, I just like to keep my clothes from a tattered state, thank you." She sat up at last, despite Remus' groan of protest, and carefully removed her long-sleeved shirt, folding it carefully before placing it on top of their joined jackets. "Don't you dare just stare at me, Mr. Remus Lupin," she said without looking at him.
Blushing, he looked away in vain, busying himself with his clothes before taking a quick glance her way.
Damn, he thought, shaking his head as he screwed his eyes tightly, drawing his shirt over his head, then looked at the back of the half-naked girl in front of him. Sighing, he turned away and busied himself with his boots and socks. He could hear her belt sliding off her pants and nearly turned around again before he heard her say, "Don't even think about it."
"Wasn't gonna," he replied childishly as he removed his own belt, then stood to remove his pants - and finally, his boxers. Naked, in conflict with his manhood and his gentleman nature, he sat down with his back to her, placed his chin in his hands, and forced the off-hinged door to be more interesting than it should be.
"I thought you said it wouldn't be this cold," she said after a moment, giving him more than ample reason to fall into conflict again.
"Well, when you're clothed, yeah...but nak- I mean, without them, you need to..er...warm up first. First five minutes are always the worst in winter here," he said quickly.
He could hear her teeth chattering, and instinctively turned to rub her shoulders. Sighing, she leaned against him in silence, then suddenly grabbed his moving fingers, kissed them, and wrapped his arms about her.
The room suddenly became very hot for Mr. Remus Lupin. And neither could she deny it as well. Five minutes clearly was too long given the circumstances...she knew she was warm within the first minute.
They sat there in silence for a long while, both staring out the window, sunlight creeping through the boards covering it and falling just short of the mattress. Sunset was a while away, but not as far off as they'd liked.
She knew she should feel awkward at the moment...she was, after all, sitting against a naked boy in her birthday suit. It should have been awkward. It should have been uncomfortable.
It wasn't.
She sighed quietly to herself, then stole a fleeting kiss to his cheek before burying her face in his neck.
"I'm scared, Remus," Aya whispered.
"We're supposed to be scared," Remus replied quietly as he gently ran his hands through her soft, black hair, his eyes closed.
He would have said something more if her lips hadn't suddenly silenced him. Startled at first, he opened his eyes to her closed lids, then closed them again as his hand ran down her back, drawing her as close to him as he could. He felt more than heard her sigh against him, pushing upwards towards him, her tongue meeting with his, her once limp arms reaching around his neck to hold him against her, to hold back that last bit of reality from them both that so united yet frightened them both every month.
She trembled against him...but then, he was trembling, too. For a brief, frightening instant, he thought it was happening again, that the time had slipped by, but a quick check towards the window negated his concerns. With a last, undefined sigh, he slipped from reality, from mores, from self, from sense, slipping and falling back towards her and her ivory skin and her lips and her gentle, traveling fingers.
He gasped, but she only devoured the breath he released as he fell back to the mattress, gazing at those storm-grey eyes that were his...that were the ones he had always known. No strange enticement, no odd gleam. This was Aya next to him.
This would always be Aya next to him.
She felt his kisses growing stronger, more defined, more real, more inviting. Even the growing throb between her legs couldn't compare to the shower of kisses he was giving her, nor to the taste of his tongue, of his lips, of his ear, of his nose. She was kissing him everywhere she could, touching him everywhere she could before she even realized what she was doing. This was her Remus. She felt as if every fiber inside of him crawled with a torrent of something she knew was hers forever. As he ran his hands down her hip, she writhed with that gentle agony she never knew she could feel, a bliss of pain and gentle beginnings that trembled for aching release. She pressed her cheek against his chest, kissing it again and again. His fingers entwined with hers until she guided the pads of his fingertips to where she writhed the most, to where she burned the most, to where she ached the most.
This was eternity, she realized in the subconscious part of her mind. This was a bliss she could never have known until this moment. This was a unity of body she never thought possible, as if she could act without thinking, act without breathing, act only through the touch of that part of him that had always drawn an uncomfortable blush to her cheeks. He was hers, she realized. And she was his.
He felt as if she understood everything he wanted through his touch. She moaned heavily when his pads reached her intensity even as he bit back a cry against her own touch. He never knew he could soar so high above himself, as if there was a part of him that threatened to rip free and take her with him.
And touching wasn't enough.
Without even saying anything, she understood perfectly through touch, through his kiss, through his gentle pushing her back. He had always feared he would saddle her clumsily, but as she parted her pulsing, thin legs, he knew he could slip down to that new sensation with terrifying ease. He had never been so frightened in his life, and never so desirous of anything. As he looked at her, her flushed face, her sweaty brow, her unfocused eyes that could only gaze into his own soul, he knew it fully with the subliminal dexterity of a quiet shadow.
Her legs opened further, her eyes widened, her hands clutched his shaking, sweaty ones.
And he suddenly dove into her with the surprising patience of his own manhood.
She arched her back and screamed, tears forming in her eyes. Startled, he focused his eyes on her frightened face as fear gripped him.
He had hurt her! The stupid bastard had hurt the one person he could ever -
She wrapped her arms about his back and pulled him towards her waiting breasts, her cry a little gentler. He moaned, his eyes closing tightly as he pushed again a little softer; despite all he could ever want, it meant nothing if she was frightened, if she was hurt, if she didn't enjoy it. But she shook her head, moving upwards, her back arched, eyes rolling back before she eased back down, urging him, begging and pleading with her opening eyes.
And he finally understood.
His moans suddenly became louder, her cries more heated as they moved faster and faster and faster, two rushing bodies falling down together in a gentle, quiet pool of pain and joy and love and tears and sweat and moans and pleadings and blessings and love and love and love. He pressed his face against the mattress just beside her ear, clutching her hand as he moved back up against her. She begged for more, a moan mixed with garbled words until he answered her in the same strange language, moving his face above hers before his lips dived into hers, his tongue the splash in the pool. They moaned around their own lips, a gentle rocking of soul and lust and love as they had never devised before. She pushed against his back until he could go no further, until he could only arch his own back and scream.
"Aya!" he yelled past the sweat and roaring fire inside of him that he knew she felt at the same time.
She kissed his neck, his chest, his cheek, his lips, and all the while moving as fast and as hard with him as she could, reaching past the peak she knew they had flown by a long while ago. He was so beautiful above him...she knew she could never place in words how he looked as his sweat trickled down his face.
"...Remus...!" she cried suddenly as he pushed as hard as he could against her waiting, new, fresh womanhood, virginity an old friend of the past. "Love...love you...! I love you!"
Her breathless voice was all the more enticing to him as he answered her, running his cheek against hers one final time in the growing darkness before he felt his insides twist about inside. The breath caught in her throat, she gripped his hand, teeth clenched as she could feel everything shift inside. She shut her eyes against it, tears spilling over at last to fall down her changing cheeks to where her ears should have been. She could feel his arms shortening as he pulled out of her at last, the hair growing along them both. He lay down next to her and held her for as long as he could, tears falling onto her before his spine snapped in the shape his inner demon preferred more. But she changed with him, and that was something in itself, something to hold back that agonized feeling that ripped through him.
She cried out until she couldn't anymore, until her shoulders hunched and her mouth extended, till they forgot their human selves like the shedding of old clothes as they donned something else beyond their will. But in that loss arose the clinging memory of some strange, necessary ritual, a bonding that they would always cherish together as they soared to new heights, past their howls, past the dark sky, past the human castle, and past the full moon itself.
A/R-
Well, that was interesting! You can all thank Katana (aka MacWolf) and Sydnie for that last bit of sexual activity. They actually persuaded me into agreeing that making everyone wait another 20 chapters for sex (yes, after they had graduated) was not only ridiculous, but more along the lines of "sweet- Nayru-what-the-hell-was-I-thinking?" kinda thing. You know what's odd, though, is writing this here porn (yes, my loyal readers, it's actually porn...I still feel a little uncomfortable writing something I've never experienced - DAMN MY VIRGINITY - sorry...) while listening to the Batman Begins soundtrack. LISTEN TO IT AND WATCH THE MOVIE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY. It's a brilliant film. Brilliant. Hope you liked this chapter. I'm not sure if we'll have much more Aya-Remus-sexual-activities later on this year per say (although I'm sure people will persuade me...KATANA, SYDNIE, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), but you'll definitely get the moonlight stroll in the Shack next chappie, along with new surprises coming up very soon. Did you know March is Aya's birthday? New secrets revealed around that time, and a test of will coming soon! That's what's on tap hopefully this summer! Sorry I haven't updated...writer's block is horrid. But, hey, I did manage to give you 37 PAGES OF NAUGHTINESS! LARGE, MANIACAL LAUGHTER OF DOOM Yay for the sex-mongering Ara Laothen, at your service! Till next time!