Hey folks. Yeah, I changed the title of my story because I found What's Left Of Me more appropriate and I'm sure you all will agree. ...0... scene change! I finally figured it out!
Chapter 5 "What's Left Of Me"
The night of the dance was fast approaching. Jubilee and Kitty put their hearts and souls into decorating the outside courtyard and garden and picking out the music. As Logan observed those two running around like chickens with their heads cut off it exhausted him. He kept an eye on them because Charles had asked him to as a favor, to make sure Kitty didn't tire herself out and Jubilee accidentally blow something up, which she tended to do from time to time.
Kitty and Jubilee weren't the only two Logan had been keeping an eye on. He and Rogue hadn't spoken since the night after the mission, but he did see her around the mansion with the Cajun thief much more often.
At first, he noticed, Rogue tried to ignore him. She would walk right past him when he would try to speak to her but he persisted. Rogue began to get irritated with this because Logan saw her slam a door on his hand. She must not have slammed it as hard as she could, Logan had observed, because it didn't break his hand.
Logan had watched Rogue in the Danger Room a few more times since what Logan referred to as 'the incident'. He always knew she was strong but had never dreamed she was as strong as she had become, and not only physically.
Rogue exuberated an inner strength that pushed outward, sometimes violently, but always astonishingly. She may had been an angry woman but she was a strong woman, and if provoked, an undoubtedly dangerous woman at that.
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"Jubilee! I am not wearing this!" Rogue exclaimed as she eyed herself in the full length mirror that resided in the corner of Kitty, Jubilee, and her room.
"Like hell you aren't!" Jubilee came up behind her and cocked an eyebrow. "And I do believe that this is going to cause a certain someone to absolutely die of jealousy!" Rogue shot her a hard glare.
"I'm not going with Remy to make Logan jealous." She said her tone flat.
"You're such a liar." Kitty yelled from the bathroom.
"Okay, maybe just a little." Rogue admitted with a smirk.
"That's my girl!" Jubilee praised, leaving Rogue to examine herself in the mirror in peace.
The outfit Jubilee and Kitty had picked out for her did fit her well and color did flatter her. She was clad in a tight pair of blue jeans, the knees having gigantic holes on them (Jubilee called it the destroyed look) and the shirt was a beautiful sapphire color that clung to her curves and was awfully low cut.. She even let her friends pick out a nice pair of dangly blue tear drop earrings and matching earrings. Her two best friends had done so much for her and she let them know more than once how thankful she was. Kitty and Jubilee also found her a pair of blue cloves to match, so that she could avoid skin to skin contact with Remy if she so wished, which they knew she would.
Rogue flinched as she put on the cloves. She had had control over her powers for so long and yet she had denied herself simple human contact. Isn't it what she'd always wanted? Yes, it was, she thought sadly. Until Logan left. Touch didn't matter to her anymore because se could not touch the one person she had always wanted to touch. Now that he had returned, could this possibly change, she mused? Finally, after all the wanting, hurt, hate, confusing, and pain, could Logan actually want to touch Rogue the way she'd always wanted?
Rogue shook her head and finished dressing. It didn't matter, she decided. He made his choice when he left you that night. He didn't want you then and he doesn't want you now.
Still, as the trio of beautiful girls (Kitty being dressed in a flattering pale green spaghetti strapped shirt with a flowing darker green peasant skirt, and Jubilee, of course, in a tight pale yellow dress that seemed like a second skin) made their ways outside into the gardens to meet their dates, Rogue couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was still a little hope, even after three years of thinking there was none left? Rogue decided to put her musings away for one night and just let herself have fun with her friends and her interesting date. We'll just see how Logan reacts when he sees me dancing with Remy, she thought, and let herself smile for the first time in a while.
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Logan stayed on the outskirts of the dance, doing his best to keep a distance from the kids doing something he thought looked akin to dancing. Though the members of the X-Men were simply supposed to be chaperones, he saw many of the women of their team on the dance floor letting loose with one another. Kitty, Jubilee, Rogue, and even Storm were all in a small group dancing with one another to a song that made Logan want to rip his ears off.
Though he disliked the choice of music on at the moment, he couldn't lie and say it wasn't pleasant watching Rogue dance the way she was dancing. She moved her body with the rhythm, moving and dipping at the appropriate moments, rooting Logan to his spot and captivating his eyes, finding it damn near impossible to look away.
Logan almost gasped when Rogue found his eyes across the dance floor. She kept dancing, moving her body even more provocatively now that she knew he had noticed her, never taking her eyes from his for one moment. Logan was taken aback by all of the feelings coursing through his veins, feelings he knew were dangerous… the feelings he had run away from three years ago.
Logan thought that he could get away from the memories but he found it impossible. The night before Jean died Mystique had snuck into his tent, posing as Jean, but Logan had seen the scars. Mystique changed herself into different women, but one had made him stop breathing. The vision of Marie hovering above him, looking down at him, wanting him written all over her face. It took all of his strength to push Marie away from him, having to remind himself that it was not indeed Marie but Mystique.
Logan couldn't deny his feelings for Marie after that, but he knew it wouldn't be right for him to openly admit them either. Marie had been through so much, being cast out by her parents, on the road for God knows how long hitch hiking her way across the country into Canada, and being kidnapped by Magneto and forced to absorb his powers and memories. Hell, somewhere inside of Marie a little bit of Logan lingered, and he knew it. No, Logan had decided to leave because he would not be the one to rip away what little innocence she had left. And yet, inadvertently, he had anyway.
Logan was jerked violently out of his thoughts by the sight of a certain Cajun thief coming up behind Rogue, grabbing onto her hips, and swaying with her in time with the music. Rogue's eyes left Logan's for a fleeting moment, long enough to dart over her shoulder to send a sharp look to Remy, and then back to Logan. She didn't attempt to move his hands from her hips and simply kept on dancing, grinding with him until the song came to an end.
Logan couldn't quite explain what came over him in the next two seconds, but as he heard the next song, a slow one, begin to play his feet started moving and he couldn't stop them, not even sure if he wanted to.
"Can yah spare her for a dance?" Logan asked the Cajun gruffly. Logan knew the guy wouldn't dare tell him no. Remy bowed gracefully and walked off to the side of the dance floor, apparently put out. Logan gave Rogue one of his lopsided grins.
"Wanna dance?" He asked her. She cocked an eyebrow.
"You dance?" Rogue asked, stepping toward him, putting her arms carefully around his neck, him slowly putting his arms on her hips.
"Not really," He muttered. "I just figured I'd give it a try." Rogue nodded and he would swear he heard her giggle a bit.
Normally Logan would had detested the pop slow song that had filled the room, but the lyrics caught him off guard. They hung inside his mind, just knowing, somehow, he had picked the perfect song for them to dance to.
"What's this song called?" He asked.
"It's called 'What's Left of Me', By Nick Lachey. Why?"
"It reminds me of you." He said lowly. She didn't say anything, just turned her gaze to his. Her eyes are so beautiful, he thought. He'd almost forgotten the warm brown color and how easily he could get lost within their depths.
Logan wrapped his arms fully around her, pulling her closer to him. He enhaled her perfume.
"You smell like roses." His voice was low and husky, only loud enough for her to barely hear him. She smiled. "You should do that more often." He said.
"Do what?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Smile," He said, bending down to her ear. "You're beautiful all the time, but you glow when you smile." He felt her shiver and allowed himself a smile of satisfaction.
"You mean that, don't you…" Rogue looked into his eyes with a questioning look. Almost like she'd heard something she'd been waiting for but she wasn't sure if it was real.
"You know I do. I can't lie to you. I never could." Logan gulped, and quoted a line in the song that they were dancing to. "You give me a reason for standing still Marie."
The moment they were in seemed to last the lifetime of a star. Logan was afraid that any second they were both going to explode, sending a dangerously amount of energy throughout the universe.
Logan saw her lips part as what they heard sank in to both of their minds. Take what's left of this man. Make me whole once again. Would she allow him to do that? Could she allow him to fill the void he had created all those years ago?
Logan felt himself lower his head, his eyes on her lips. He knew they were in the middle of a very crowded dance floor and that many young eyes were on them, including her dates. He watched her closely, making sure she was not going to pull away, but he could see in her eyes that she had no intention of ending this moment. They were so close to hers now that he could feel her ragged breath on his lips.
A millisecond before their lips would have collided, the song ended, and a fast song came on, and the moment was smashed. Logan pulled back just a tad, searching Rogue's face, and felt his stomach drop straight to the floor when he saw the pure and unadulterated fear that was on it. He could see the tears welling up in her eyes, making them shimmer in the dim light. She pulled away quickly and bolted off of the dance floor, blowing by Remy and not stopping when her two best friends called her name.
It only took a split second for Logan to decide whether or not to go after her. He'd sent her running away in tears once and didn't go after her, and that hadn't exactly resulted in anything good, and he knew he never wanted to hurt her like that again so off he ran. He knew she may lash out at him, but he didn't care. He wasn't gonna let himself lose her again.
Authors Note: Hey ya'll! Sorry that it took soooo long for this one, but I actually sat down tonight and made myself get this done so I'm sorry if there are any errors. I changed the title of this story because I felt like this fit it much better. Let me know what ya'll think. THANK YOU ALL for the lovely reviews I've recieved. You guys make me feel so special! Love ya'll! Keep reviewing for me! And thank you so much for your patience.I heard from my boyfriend today so I'm happy lol:-) Have a good evening everyone! HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! Pray for all of the soldiers that are over seas right now! ----Ali