Chapter 4 - A Malfoy Visit
Severus had spent the next week teaching his DADA class because McGonagall had been called out by the remaining Ministry memebers to take Dumbledore's place in discussing things concerning new and "disturbing" things they had been hearing about the state of Hogwarts in losing a professor, handlings of the beast in the lake, and of course Mr. Malfoy Sr.'s current problem with how detentions were being given out so freely. Alexandria had been called back to her old position. He had not seen her for most of the week as the Castle seemed to be at unrest with no headmaster or mistress.
Severus sat alone in the library reading into the past of Alexander Moonfire. He was an evil man from what could made out. A lot of things were uncertain. His geneology, past his paternal parents, was not known. The candle next to him flickered and suddenly the library was rather cold. Severus stood up. It was empty, as well as it should have been at this time at night. He saw the door to the library, on the other hand, was wide open. He had told Filch to close it after inspecting it for kids. Cautiously, he walked over and closed it. As soon as he did a cold pale hand came down on his. The nails were long and red. He turned and dropped the candle. A cloaked figure stood before him. Even without the light he could see the glow of the silvery blonde hair hanging out and falling halfway down the the front side of the figure. "No…" He said in a mere whisper almost not able to regain his breath.
"Severus…" It was a soft, cold and almost dead voice. The pale hands reached up and pulled the hood off. And there before him stood the reason for his unrest at night.
"Narcissa." He said his hand reaching up towards her face. A tear fell down her cheek and she stepped back.
"Severus, I just wanted to see you… I cant stay long, Lucius will know."
He grabbed her and pulled her to him. "Narcissa…" he repeated her small and fragile body under his chin. She was thinner than ever and her face looked aged beyond her years. "Narcissa, you have no more obligation to him. Stay with me now…"
"No!" she said pushing him away. "My son, Severus. I cannot leave my son. You will never understand what it is to be bound to a Malfoy. The pain, the secrets, the abuse, the HATE!" she shouted, tears streaming down her face. "You are the only person who has ever loved me… who to this day still loves me. But Severus understand that if I leave him… he will get his revenge on you and me both."
"I don't care." Severus stated, realizing he was losing his composure. She was the woman, the only woman he had loved. There she was, fragile and crying, standing before him and still not in reach.
"Even if I could Severus, what of my son? Draco has not done anything to be the victim of this. He would never understand."
Severus tried reaching for her. "Narcissa… please let me think of something…"
"No. I cannot! I wont be abused anymore!" she said, "for what? Abused for what? Because I love another man? Severus my heart will always be yours… Tell me your's will always be mine… tell me?" she asked falling to her knees not being able to hold herself up in her frantic state. He dropped in front of her."Don't you love me anymore?" she cried.
"What? How can you ask that? Did I not just say to stay with me? That I didn't care what Lucius threatens to do? Have you gone mad woman?"
She took his face in both her hands, "You're lying to me… You love someone else… Who is she!? Tell me Severus! Who?!"
"I don't know what you are speaking of!" He said taking her hands off of him. "I don't love another woman!"
"Moonfire's grand-daughter…"
Severus felt his head turn from her and he raised to his feet. "Did Lucius tell you these things? Has he poisoned your mind? Do you not know that he lies by now?"
"Do you think her more beautiful than I am? I heard she has her mother's beauty. And she has the Moonfire lips painted like blood… does she not?"
"Moonberry! Her lips maybe but her looks could never compare to yours." Just as he said that he remembered her lips the first time he had ever seen her. The way they had parted when she glared at him and then the way that she smiled at him mischeiviously. He shook the thoughts from his mind and looked down at the woman before him.
"Have you fallen for her like Lucius?"
Severus felt himself become disgusted with what she had just said. Lucius was a sick man to have even mentioned another woman to his wife. Yet, he had no doubt that she had been exposed to him bringing home many other women. "No! And don't compare me to your husband…"
"I have to go…" she said sliding backwards on the floor until she reached the wall. Severus tried to go to her but she threw her hand before her and made him stop. "Don't come closer." In a flash she disappeared.
Severus stood there alone. Silence was around him. He felt the anger in him rising and his breath start to deepen. He would have killed Lucius Malfoy for what he had done to her, if it would not have landed him in Azkaban.
Alexandria knocked on Severus's door eight times before he finally forced himself to open it. She stood before him, her hair straight down again and in a white short-sleeve blouse and a long flowing skirt with multipule colors and rhinestones. A smile came over her as she looked on him. Severus could not help but notice a small necklace she had on with a small charm in the shape of a gold cobra head on it. Immediately he thought of her being a parselmouth. "Can I help you?" he asked keeping his straight face.
"Good morning to you too Severus." She said putting her hand on his face. "May I come in and have a word with you?"
He waved her hand away, hating being touched by other people. "Must you come in?"
She frowned and suddenly seemed to get uncomfortable, "Oh, sorry I didn't know you were busy. I just wanted to... Um…"
Severus rolled his eyes, "I'm not busy. I was… what do you want!?" he questioned, raising his voice and suddenly getting quite irritated with her.
"I was wondering if maybe you wouldn't mind taking my 6th period class since you're free. I have to go into town and get some things. And I didn't want to go too late because then they would close the shops right as I got there. So I remembered you were free and… well I…"
"What do you have to get?"
She looked up at him surprised, "What?"
"Well you said you have to buy some things and and I want to know what it is that it cannot wait till tomorrow," he said remembering tomorrow was Saturday.
"Isn't that a question you would consider to be nosy? I just have to go buy some decorations McGonagall asked me to buy on my free time but The children in my 7th period have a test and I'll be grading papers all tomorrow. You know what? Never mind Severus, if you cant… its fine… forget it."
He took her arm firmly but gentle before she could walk from him. "I'll do it under one condition."
"And what is that?" she asked walking closer to him. She seemed to be very curious as to what he was going to say next. He couldn't imagine why. "Severus?" he had almost forgotten what he was gonna say when her lips parted slightly again. There was something about them that were too much for him. Not only did they have a deep red color to them but they were usually glazed over with some sort of clear gloss or something…
"If you promise to keep your hand off of me from now on." he said letting her arm go.
Severus could tell it was not something she wanted to hear and yet she nodded and this time without a smile turned and walked away. Well, what did she want to hear me say? There's only so much I would say to her anyway. He walked to the edge of the hallway and looked down at the shifting stairs. She was halfway down now. Her feet glided gracefully as she looked like she floated from staircase to staircase. He sighed and walked back to his room. It was gonna be a long day.
"Silence." Severus said entering his classroom. It had felt good to get his class back but for some reason today the feeling was not as good. More than a few times he had forgotten what he was talking about in the middle of class. He could not believe Narcissa's visit last night. Had it even really happened? She had not seemed herself. He had not even known what to feel except for pain in seeing her that way. Normally he would have felt outrage towards Lucius but last night he just seemed so confused. Confused over what? The woman loves you Severus and she's the only woman you've ever loved. You know she'll never be yours and you know she will never leave Lucius so perhaps you've finally come to terms with that…
"Oye… Professor?" Something wrong?" he heard one of the Weasley twins shout behind him.
He turned sharply, "Yes, the fact that you were not given permission to speak makes this a problem. Now I suggest…" His words left him again as he saw a cloaked figure with long blonde hair walk past the room. She stopped for a moment and continued. "Class dismissed…" he said running out of the room.
"Professor?" Fred asked standing to his feet.
"Ha, the man probably saw a kid out of class…" George said picking up the chalk at the front of the room.
"Who made you teacher? He said we were dismissed." Fred said grabbing the eraser.
"I know." George smiled. Fred smiled with his twin and together they began drawing on the board.
Severus saw the cloaked figure standing by the door of the potion's class. Why was Narcissa doing this? Why had she come back suddenly? She had left him so quickly last night. As soon as he got within a foot of her she turned to him. "She is beautiful. You were always the man with an eye for a beautiful girl." She uncloaked herself. Her face was pale and her blue eyes were dead. Her lips were as red as her dress and for some reason Alexandria's lips came to his mind instead.
"Why are you here Narcissa?"
"To see for myself. And to leave my son his new robes."
For the first time he noticed the box she was carrying. Draco seemed to have new robes every few weeks but never had someone come to leave them for him personally. Dobby used to leave them before he was freed. Still she could have sent them with an owl. Before he could say anything Narcissa walked into the potions classroom. Her head held high and proud. Moonberry was busy writing notes and discussing ingredients for the polyjuice potion. She did not even notice her visitor.
"Professor Moonberry, you have a guest." Neville said looking at Narcissa.
Alexandria turned and smiled, "Hullo can I help you?"
Draco stood up suddenly, "Moonberry, I want you to meet my mom," he said sneering at everyone who was now staring at Mrs. Malfoy.
"Well we all know you don't get your looks from her…" Ron snorted.
Narcissa turned to the red headed boy while handing Draco the box. "Perhaps Draco once you put on your new robes I brought you, you can give your hand me downs to Mr. Weasley here."
Harry stood before his friend, "Perhpas you didnt notice that Draco is in Slytherin and his robes would be of no use to Ron seeing as how he is in Gryffindor."
Alexandria walked between Ron, Harry and Narcissa. "Is there anything else you wanted?" she asked seriously.
"No…" she kissed Draco's forehead. "You teach them Draco that class is everything."
Severus looked down… "you're only a half-blood." It rang through his head again and he walked in. "Is there a problem here?"
Alexandria shook her head, "No Mrs. Malfoy was just leaving."
Narcissa smirked and looked at Severus. "Really Severus?"
He felt his gaze shift toward Moonberry who seemed surprised to hear something like that come out of Narcissa's mouth. "The only problem now," she started "is that you both are standing in here as if I don't have a class to teach. Please leave."
"My dear you will learn in time that you don't speak to a Malfoy with that tone of voice."
Alexandria stepped closer to her lifting her wand. "Are you threatening me?"
Narcissa let out an evil laugh. "My dear put down your silly stick. Who are you to be putting something up to me?"
Alexandria looked at Severus. He did not know what to do. Draco was present and any move from him would seem inappropriate to the young boy. Her look soon turned to that of anger. "Class dismissed." The students got up and rushed out.
Draco hesitated but his mother turned to him. "Go Draco. You heard your teacher. She, Professor Snape and I have much to talk about." The young boy looked back twice but finally left the room. Narcissa shut it with her wand and turned it on Alexandria. "You really are a foolish young girl! Severus, she's too young for you! She cant be more than twenty!"
"I'm twenty-five. And I think you're crazy. Why don't you just leave?" Alexandria said waving her away.
Severus looked at the young witch, he was seven years older than her. Narcissa laughed evilly. "Severus darling, look at her. Just the other day you will remember her as your pupil."
"I never came to Hogwarts. And I don't know what you are ranting to him about so just go! Take your fights elsewhere. Whatever is going on between you two, I would like to be kept out of it." Alexandria shouted turning and making her way back to the desk.
Narcissa walked over to her and grabbed her face examining it closely. "Narcissa stop! You are not yourself lately. I don't know what Lucius has done to you but stop. Lets go talk, just you and me. Come…" Severus said holding out his hand. She smiled still holding Moonberry's face. Alexandria was at least four inches taller, but she had sat in her chair allowing Narcissa to tower over her. Severus walked closer to her. Narcissa let go and turned her back to Moonberry and placed her hand in Severus's hand. He lured her toward the door and was about to open it to let them both out when he could not resist and he looked back at Alexandria who stared at him intensely. He knew she was furious with him and now more than ever. The look on her face only read anger. Anything else she could have been feeling he could not see. Narcissa looked at him. He turned back to her and suddenly her eyes where no longer blue but a deep grey. They seemed devoid of all life. Her hand left Severus's forcefully and she turned to Alexandria.
"Sectumse…"
"NO!" Severus shouted throwing his hand over Narcissa's mouth and knocking her backward a bit but catching her before she hit the ground. She had just attempted to use one of his hexes that would have caused major cutting all over the body. He cursed the day he had made that one up. "Alexandria get out of here. There are too many people for me to take her out of the room."
"I don't care! Take her! Show the world how mad she's gone!" Alexandria's face was emotionless. He had never seen her so uncaring.
"Alexandria please… Lucius has driven her mad with ideas of you. Its the least you can do for my saving your life."
Her bottom lip dropped slightly. Shock had come over her. "What?"
"I will explain when she is gone. Go!"
Alexandria hesitated and then ran out of the room. Severus looked at Mrs. Malfoy. She was laying there without movement. Her eyes had turned back to that clear blue he had fallen in love with. It caused him great pain inside to see her like this. What ever Lucius had said to her… It was worst than he had imagined. Madam Pompfrey was silently called and the matter was kept undercover. Narcissa was held in the hospital and forced to take medication that put her body and mind at ease for days at a time. Draco was warned by Severus to not mention a word to his father unless he wished to be punished for his mother's doings. He agreed as long as Severus promised him no one but them knew. He also agreed. Severus would check on her every night until McGonagall returned and something was figured out.
For the next two day he did not see Moonberry except for one time she was walking outside with Remus during lunch. He had not explained to her as he said he would, she had not dared to come near him in order for him to do so. Classes seemed to go smoothly for the next few days. Severus just dreaded the day Lucius would show up looking for Narcissa. He knew it would be soon. As he hated being without his wife because of the toll it could take on the Malfoy name. Severus waited. And then it came.
That day had been busy as the children were excited about the coming Quidditch match between Slytherin and Griffindor. He walked out of the castle only to find some kids outside with Professor Moonberry. Neville, Hermione, Lee and a few other kids were all present. "But professor don't you know who is in Slytherin team?" Hermione asked with a smile on her face.
"Seriously professor, you cant be on their side. You have to be on our side this time. You were for Slytherin the last two times." Neville said sort of looking rather down about it. There was no doubt in Severus's mind that Neville was Moonberry's favorite student. The things she did for the boy and let him get away with were far more than she had done for anyone else.
"Children please… if I don't cheer for Slytherin… who will?" She said with a big grin.
"You know she has a point. I means Slytherin cheers but Moonberry CHEERS," Lee said with a laugh.
All the children laughed. "Maybe Professor Snape can cheer now that he's back." Seamus said sarcastically. "Can you imagine?"
The kids laughed again but this time Alexandria did not join them. "Leave him alone… Why are you guys always picking on him anyway?" she said with a sad face.
"Cause he's scary," Neville said looking uneasy.
"Us pick on him? He always picks on us," Hermione said rolling her eyes. "He purposely ignores me when I raise my hand. And no matter how much effort I put into my work its only "ok" for him. From what I heard he was really smart too, I'm sure he would have hated it when his professors considered him a 'know-it-all'…"
"There are just things no one understand though…" she said hugging Neville who had become pale in the face. "Even I don't know and I just want to hug him sometimes." At this all the kids looked shocked.
"I don't think he knows what a hug is…" Lee said shaking his head.
Alexandria smiled. "I do, now come here all of you." she said hugging them all. "If my team wins I apologize to you all. If yours wins I will try and be happy for you."
"We have Harry." Hermione said with a smile. "Better start apologizing now."
Alexandria laughed a fake evil laugh. "We will see Miss Granger." Her voice turned low and imitating of Severus' "We will see." As Seamus turned to leave first he stopped dead in his tracks seeing Professor Snape in the doorway.
"Uh… guys…"
Everyone looked up and Neville stood behind Alexandria who just smiled at him. "Hullo Professor. Go on inside children," she said shooing them in as he stepped aside. Neville was the first to go. "Ok Professor what can I do for you now?"
"I…" he had not even thought of what to say to her. "I… just wanted to see how you were?" he said unsure of what else to say.
"Are you asking me if thats what you came here to say? You don't really seem too sure of yourself."
Sure of myself. I was until I ran into you… bloody woman… i hadn't even thought of what to say to you since then. All I've been thinking of is Lucius showing up and the day we tell Narcissa she is well enough to go home. "About that day…"
"I don't really want to hear it Severus. What ever happened between the two of you is not for me to know or worry about. I want no part in your love affairs."
He felt a sudden feeling of uncomfort, "Very well then lets go inside so we can talk of other things."
She walked through the door and he followed. They walked side by side for a few minutes without words. "Ok well what would you like to talk about?" she said her hands held behind her back. Suddenly a sort of pain took him, he knew she was hurting. Even though he could not really understand about what or why… he knew the look of hurt well. He stopped and watched as she spun on her heels to face him. "What is it Severus?"
"Something is wrong… what?" he asked rather seriously. He searched her face for signs of it. She just smiled and shook her head, quickly looking away from him. There! There it is Severus. Wait… What did I do to her? She surely cannot be angry with me for whatever happened a few days ago. Who stays angry that long besides you Severus? He asked himself. "Are you angry with…"
"Severus class is about to start I better head off," She said not once looking him in the eyes. "As should you."
She turned and sort of walked away quickly before anything else was said. He stood there for a moment thinking of Alexandria and how he just could not understand her. "Professor are you coming?" Remus asked puzzled to see the wizard standing there staring into the space she had once stood.
"Yes, and Lupin? Mind your own business." he said turning with his robes flying behind him. "Insufferably nosy…. The lot of them…"
Class had started and half way through he saw Ginny Weasley in his doorway. "Professor?"
His head jerked up from yelling at Cho Chang for drawing in class rather than taking notes. "Yes, Miss Weasely?"
"Do you know where our professor is?"
"There are a lot of Professors at Hogwarts, which one?" he asked still irritated.
She frowned, "Professor Moonberry. She never came to class."
Severus stood up straight. This woman is giving me more trouble than I would care to have. He looked at his class and then back down at Cho. "Notes! on the double… I will return soon." He walked out and passed Ginny. "Get back to class Gin… Miss Weasley. Your teacher will be there soon."
Severus stopped dead in his tracks. He did not even know where to begin looking for her. Maybe Remus would know where to find her. He walked to Remus's class two halls down. Lupin was in the middle of teaching his first years how to turn their animals into silverware. He looked up as soon as Severus walked in. "Professor Snape, what can I do for you?"
"Moonberry is missing… Do you know where she would be?" he asked rather uneasy as all the first year children were looking up at him with smiles. He had yet to strike fear in their hearts. It would change soon enough.
Remus looked at the kids. "One moment children." He said walking to the office behind the class. He walked out rather fast and right up to Severus. "She's in the hospital… with Narcissa and Lucius," he whispered concerned. "Go, I'll meet you soon."
"No this is my affair Remus."
"Moonberry is your affair?" he asked rather surprised. Severus raised an eyebrow and stared blankly at Remus before exiting without a word.
He ran to the hospital wing and stormed into the private room to see Lucius holding Alexandria with her arms behind her back.
"Look at her closely Narcissa. What do you see?"
He could see Narcissa in tears. Alexandria was trying to fight him off of her and was not succeeding. "Lucius stop!" Severus shouted. "Let her go!"
Lucius smirked, "You can only have one Severus. Choose one and choose wisely."
Severus looked between the two women. Narcissa would undoubtedly be punished severely. Torture pain and suffering would come to her daily. Alexandria should have never been dragged into this, he knew that much. Lucius seemed to be obsessed with her. What lay ahead for her would probably be things Narcisaa had spent most of her life dealing with. No he could not let it happen to her. He looked at Narcissa's eyes begging him to choose her. Yet even though Moonberry had not looked at him since he walked through the door, he knew she needed him. The abuse mentally and physically that would come to her was none of which she deserved. He walked over and took Alexandria's arm pulling her from Lucius's grasp. "She is not yours to take now or ever. You made your choice when you decided to take the woman I loved and force her to be yours. You chose Lucius, not me! I don't know what you've done to her but its bad and I wont have you do it to Alexandria! Take your wife and leave now." He said pulling the young professor to him. Her head falling on his shoulder and her arms on his chest. Alexandria felt so fragile suddenly. She was trembling. He wrapped his left arm around her and pointed his wand at Lucius. For all he tried he could not help but glance over at Narcissa. Her tears had faded and she stood up.
"I knew I didn't choose you for good reason," she said walking up to Severus. "What would you know of love? I was the fool, loving you all this time I could have loved my husband. Yes take her Severus. Take her, have her fall madly in love with you and leave her. Leave her like you did me… you coward. You couldn't even stand up for the woman you 'love'."
Severus lowered his wand and stared at the woman now dressed in white robes. He felt Alexandria bury her face into his neck. Her arms wrapped around his waist and her hands gripped his clothes tightly under his teaching robes. Don't let him hurt me or take me please… she said in her mind holding on to him firmly.
I wont. I promise you that much. "Everything I did for you Narcissa, was love and I did fight for you and in the end you chose the name and all that goes with it. Love your husband? You knew you never could. You knew every time he forced you into bed with him till you concieved and then left you for every other beautiful woman. You knew when he threw it in your face after Draco was born. You knew you hated him when you could not leave him as much as you loved another man. Why? Because the other man was a half-blood. You told me so yourself. You hold your head high with arrogance and conceit but really…" he stopped seeing her face flush and her body almost collapse.
Lucius laughed, "Severus, don't you know you could have had her now? Don't you know I would have given her to you freely had you chosen her? I have my heir… Narcissa matters nothing to me anymore."
"No. I wont take her so that you can claim another prize forcefully. To break her and throw her out like all your other mistresses. You cannot take her! Leave!"
Lucius almost growled with displeasure. He grabbed his wife and dragged her to the fireplace. In a great flash and smoke they were gone through the portal. Severus looked down at Moonberry who still seemed to be clinging to him for dear life. He smiled and wanted to throw his arms around her, to forget everything that had just happened. Instead, he just stood there and let her hold him.
Is he gone? Is she gone?
Severus hesitated, a part of him wanted to keep her arms wrapped around him. He dropped his left arm. Yes they are both gone.
Alexandria let go slowly and lifted her head. She looked up into his eyes. He looked down at her and a sudden urge to pull her back began to nag at him. "Thank you for not letting him take me Severus. I am now indebted to you. What would you like?"
He looked at her lips as already they were forming a smile. He could not ask anything of her. "Nothing. Just not to tell anyone of anything you just heard," he said looking away from her. Her hand reached up to touch his face. After which, she ran her fingers through his hair and then let them slide down his neck and unto his shoulders. Severus looked surprised and then glared at her. "I thought I asked you a while ago not to touch me."
"Yes you did." she said running her other hand through his hair. She smiled and threw her arms around his neck. "But I think you like it and I think you need it." She said into his ear.
He stood there and let himself feel her body against his. The feeling was so warm and tender. If he could have just forgotten everything and done the same to her. He put his hands on her small waist and pushed her away gently. Anymore and you will lose your composure and give in. "Alexandria… I cannot do this now…" he said turning and heading for the door. He stopped before exiting and walked back. He took her hand gently and led her to the door holding it open. She walked out and tried to take his hand with her but he let go.
"Severus?"
"No Moonberry. Just go to your class now. I will watch you from behind.
"Remus, I need you to stay with her. Lucius has become a threat and I will not have him harm her. The things he would most likely do to her, I'm sure you can guess. At least till McGonagall gets back. Do this for me…"
Remus frowned, "Severus, its not a problem. I like Alexandria very much. She is a wonderful person. I think, you think so too. What I don't understand is why you wont do it…"
"Remus, you know the way I loved Narcissa… Everyone did. I cannot look at Moonberry now knowing I could have spared Narcissa pain but didn't to save a Hogwarts professor," he said his head lowering.
"I don't think that is the only reason you saved her…" His old rival began to say but one look from Severus and he stopped. "Very well. I will keep her close. When does McGonagall return?"
"She was supposed to have gotten here yesterday but she owled me and said she would be detained 'a few more days'. Which means the remaining ministry members are giving her a hard time. I will owl her with what has just happened and hopefully they will see fit to let her return and handle certain affairs."
Much to the surprise of everyone, McGonagall returned the following day. "Severus I got your owl." she said walking into his office still filled with potion bottles. "What happened? I want to hear everything." Severus spent the next few minutes. Explaining from Narcissa's first appearance to her departure with Lucius. McGonagall seemed very disturbed at hearing the accounts. "Well something will have to be done. I will owl Dumbledore and see what it is he has to say. In the meanwhile, what precautions have you taken?"
"Remus has been watching over her and we put a spell on her room every night. Personally, I don't think Lucius will return so quickly. I think he has much to think about. Go ahead an owl professor Dumbledore to get his opinion and then we will take it from there."
McGonagall looked at the professor with her eyebrow raised, "And you professor? How are you dealing with this?"
"I would prefer not to speak of it." he said rather sternly. "I find I am better not thinking of it at all."
"Very well, in that case you may take back the DADA position," she said with a bit of a smile and then took her leave.
Severus nodded and looked back at the exams he had been grading. Surprisingly most the students were doing better than usual in their exams. Even Ron got a decent grade. That was mostly unheard of. The sound of laughing came from outside. He looked out one of his windows and saw Remus and Alexandria outside. Remus was holding her hand up in the air as she spun on her toe shoes. It was apparent to him now that she enjoyed dancing. She came down gracefully and watched as Remus pretended he too could do the things she had done. Her laughter echoed as she could not contain herself watching Remus making a fool of himself. Severus thought for a moment how stupid it was to make a fool of yourself for the mere entertainment of others but the smile on her face was something he thought might have possibly made up for it.
Still as much as it lightened his heart to know she was safe for now, a heavy burden seemed to pressed on him for allowing Narcissa's pain and suffering to continue.
"How dare you…" a soft voice came from behind him. He jerked to see Narcissa standing behind him. Her face was shadowed by the hood of the cloak.
"No Narcissa… You chose the life you wanted and now you have it. She was a Hogwarts professor and I had to…" She slapped him across the face so he could not continue. His face straight he just looked at her and walked to the door, opening it and without any further looks to her he motioned to the door. "Go now unless you wish for Lucius to find you again."
She walked to the door and removed her cloak in front of him. She stood there in a long black dress that might have clung to her shape nicely if she had not been so thin. Her face was red on one side, probably from slapping. Her lips had a cut in it to the right side. Pain filled him more than usual. Many times he had witnessed his father yell at his mother usually forcing her to cowar before him. Severus had seen it so many times. Tears had welled in his eyes and he was glad Lucius was no where near him. "Its all your fault Severus."
"No… it cant be my fault…"
"IT IS! You who claimed to have so much love for me and you let him take me so that you could save that spoiled brat who will never mean nearly as much to you as I did. What does she care for you Severus? What does she care whether you hurt or not?"
"What do you care!?" he snapped back remembering Alexandria holding on to him for her life. "You've never cared that for years I sat back and watched as Lucius threw it in my face that you were not mine. You did not once care that you sent your son here so he'd be under my protection and yet I had a constant reminder of you being with another man." A tear fell from one of his eyes. "Don't blame me… just get out. I no longer care to see you. You don't deserve this life, but you refused the one I could give you."
"What could you give me Severus? A small home in the muggle world? What did you expect me to do? Be a teacher like you so we could afford a living? We would never be able to afford having any children. My parents wouldnt have given me ANY of my inheritance! We would have nothing! Constantly frustrated with foolish things because we have nothing."
"You're wrong. I choose to live in the muggle world because it offers a peace from being here. I make enough to support me and a few more but it's not enough to support living with children and you still keeping your expensive habits. Tell me Narcissa what do you think I make? And then what do you think I buy besides groceries? I have no need for anything. I spend a few galions on a requirement for a potion here and there but thats it. You could have been a teacher. You could have done what you wanted. You always wanted to travel. We could have traveled. You threw it away Narcissa. Lucius abuses you because you love me and yet you wont let me love you properly. You expect me to sit here and love you while you stay with your abusive husband. You wont even let me near you. I don't know what he's poisoned you with about Alexandria, but she is only a professor and its my duty to Hogwarts to make sure harm doesn't come to her or any other. I did not even know what you were talking about when you showed up the first time. If you want you can look out the window, her and Remus seem to get along a bit more than she and I ever have."
Narcissa suddenly seemed to feel foolish for all her actons. Color came to her face and she looked away from Severus. Now she cant even look at you… What are you doing saying all these things to her? What are you hoping she will do? "You are right Severus. We could have done all those things. I was a fool. I will go with you now if you ask."
Hesitation came over him. "I need time now Narcissa. Its too much at risk to just go with you now. I am still your son's professor and Lucius and I are still together as death… You know…"
Her head nodded and she slowly pulled the cloak on herself and then left him. He sat in one of the nearby chairs and thought about everything that had just been exchanged between them. You can have the only thing you ever wanted now, but do you even want it anymore?