Wow, you guys had very different opinions about last chapter. I'm sorry I did it like that, but it has been the plan from the beginning. Just don't jump to conclusions yet. I didn't say that they slept together… Anyway, the thing I wrote about it being like ´we were on a break´ over again, wasn't meant the way you understood it. It was meant like, the pain Rachel is feeling. Not about cheating and pushing away, it was about how she sees it. The way she felt after their break. She misses Ross. Is angry with him. Y'know, stuff like that… Hmm. Yeah…
Disclaimer; I do not own Friends.
What Love Can Do
Chapter 7.
They stood like that, forever.
Together in Rachel's living room, just exploring each other's lips, enjoying the feeling of safety that it gave them.
Suddenly, however, Chandler came to his senses and broke away from her.
"No, no, no!" he exclaimed, "This is so wrong! What are we doing!? Were we just making out? We were making out!"
"Yes…" Rachel whispered, touching her lips, silently looking at her feet.
"But we cant be making out! You're engaged! I'm married!" Chandler yelled, freaking out in his own Chandler-way.
"No, Chandler!" Rachel yelled, finally looking up at him, "I'm not engaged! I'm single, okay?""But we can't do this!" he kept on, "It's bad! We're doing something very bad! We shouldn't even be having this conversation"
"Yeah, alright I got it, Chandler!" Rachel said.
Suddenly the door into the living room opened, and Emma came, padding, into them, "Why are you, yelling, mommy?"
"I'm sorry, sweetie" Rachel said, "I was just discussing something with uncle Chandler. We'll go outside and finish. Go back to sleep now"
Emma yawned, "Okay, mommy"
She padded back into her room and Rachel dragged Chandler with her into the front yard.
"Rachel, what is happening?" he asked, "One minute you're crying about Ross moving out and breaking up with you, the next minute you're kissing me. What's happening?"
"I don't know…" she said, "I don't know… I'm messed up all over the place!"
"That doesn't matter, Rachel!" Chandler argued, "I need to know what's going on?"
"It doesn't concern you. All that concerns you is that it was wrong and that we shouldn't have done this."
"Good, I agree with you!" Chandler said, "But why did you kiss me then?"
"I don't know…!" she said, again, "I'm screwed up… It's like I'm this whole other person, I cant… I'm sorry Chandler, I'm sorry. I really am"
"It's okay" he said, giving in, "I don't meant this in a bad way. It's not about you Rach; you're a wonderful, beautiful woman. And I feel like you've been my best friend since Joey moved, but… I'm married. I don't know if we'll work the marriage out, but… I cant cheat on Mon, no matter what"
"I understand" Rachel said, "It's just… I- I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry I kissed you"
"And I'm sorry I kissed you back"
"Why did you?" Rachel asked, "Why did you kiss me back?"
"Monica told me something yesterday…" he trailed off, "Something about, I should give you what you wanted, and I just thought: Wow, she wants me, let's give her that"
"I don't think Monica meant it that way when she said it, Chandler" Rachel said, giving him a funny look.
"No, that thought occurred to me after… I kissed you" Chandler said.
They laughed with each other.
"So, we're cool?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah, we're cool" Chandler said, "And we wont mention this ever again, right?"
"Right"
Chandler gave a last smile and left her standing at her doorstep, in the freezing autumn air.
She looked after him, until he was out of sight, and just there, she got the urge to throw up.
She rushed inside and into the bathroom, where she threw up until there was nothing left in her stomach. She leaned back against the bathtub and sighed.
The stress. The pain.
Why the hell did she kiss Chandler?
That was gross, not gross in that way, but when she thought of the fact that he was her best friend's (if her and Mon could still be calling themselves that?) husband, was so gross, she couldn't help but throw up again, even though she'd been sure that she was done.
There was a soft knocking on the door, and Emma peeped in; "Mommy, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm alright, honey"
"Can I get you anything?"
"A glass of water"
Emma took her glass at the shelf and emptied it into the sink. Toothbrush and toothpaste clinking until they hit the bottom. Then she filled the glass with water. She handed it to her mommy.
Rachel took the glass and eagerly drunk it.
"Thank you"
"You're welcome" Emma smiled. She sat down next to her mother and looked at her with a sad smile, "Will everything ever be the same again, mommy?" she asked.
"Hmm…" Rachel shrugged. She wanted to lie; to tell her precious angel that everything was gonna be okay, but she knew she owed her the truth. She had to tell her, "No, Emma" she finally said, "Nothing will ever be the same again"
--
Chandler locked himself into the house, afraid to wake his sleeping family.
He silently dressed down and went to find the blanket, he always hid underneath the couch.
It had become a regular thing for him to spend the night at the couch. Most likely he did it because Monica forced him to after yet another fight, but tonight he did it because he didn't want to wake her, and didn't want to get himself into a third degree.
He made himself comfortable, and thought about the day's evens.
He couldn't understand why Rachel had kissed him…
He wanted to, but something was not adding up.
He pondered things over for awhile, until his heavy eyes finally closed, and he faded into peaceful feel of slumber.
--
Phoebe looked at her sleeping husband, wondering if she should leave him for a half an hour and go into the living room to call Rachel.
She wanted to, but the only problem was that she didn't know what she should say.
If she made it sound like she was just calling to chat, Rachel would be suspicious because it wasn't hour for one of their usual girl talks.
If she just called with no particular reason, that would be suspicious too, and she would for no thing in the world, want Rachel to realize that she'd helped Ross with his evil plans just the same day.
But even though she didn't want to get caught, she was so nervous for her best friend. How was she feeling? How was she dealing with everything?
Phoebe knew that a girl like Rachel wouldn't be able to go through with something like this without being affected by it. Monica would probably have been more strong and together had it been her, but with Rachel…
She was sure that there were crying, yelling, confusing and even weak moments where she would be close to do something stupid.
Phoebe stood out of bed and seated herself in the living room.
Lily, their beautiful daughter, was sleeping peacefully, so she should be able to do this without interruptions.
She grabbed the cordless and dialled Rachel's number.
It didn't take long to pick up, so Rachel was still awake, just like Phoebe had thought she would be.
"Hi, it's Rachel?"
She sounded tired though.
"Hi Rach, it's Phoebe" Phoebe smiled.
"Oh…" she was surprised, "Hi Phoebs. Is there a problem? Did something happen to someone?"
She sounded freaked out, something Phoebe didn't want, "No-no-no-no-no, Rach, nothing's wrong" Phoebe chuckled, "I was just… I couldn't sleep, so I hoped you were still awake and we could talk… Did – did something strange happen today?"
She hoped she wasn't making it too obvious.
"Oh, you mean anything else than Ross just breaking things totally off with me?" Rachel sarcastically asked.
Well, she was…
"Hmm, oh" Phoebe tried to sound surprised, which she seemed to fail at. She wasn't the best actress, and she knew it; "What happened?"
"Oh, a little of this and a little of that" Rachel said, "Ross just got some buddies to take all his furniture. He also left a little note and everything. The house is mine"
"Oh my GOD!" Phoebe said, maybe… overdoing it a little.
"You already knew, didn't you?" Rachel asked, seeing right through her.
"No!" Phoebe said, "How should I do that?"
"Well…" she trailed off, "Ross' work buddies doesn't know where we live. They doesn't have a key. Chandler and Monica didn't do it. Joey is first coming tomorrow. You would be… the most perfect choice…?"
There was something honest about her voice. There was something in the way she said it, that made Phoebe want to tell the truth. Maybe it was because her voice was so innocent and small, or maybe it was because Phoebe knew Rachel would never lie about something like this to her.
She had to tell her, "Alright. It was me who helped him"
"Phoebe!"
"I'm sorry, Rach" Phoebe said, "He was asking me, and I… He had some really good arguments, and I just had to help him. He's one of my best friends"
There was a heartbreaking silence in a long time, until Rachel finally broke it; "So, did I think that I was"
--
Rachel closed her cell phone and threw it against the nearest wall.
The tears played in her eyes and messed up her sight.
She couldn't believe it.
Did Phoebe just do something unforgivable by going behind her back like this?
She really thought that Phoebe was a friend.
Unbelievable.
"Mommy?"
Emma interrupted her thoughts, and Rachel looked up to find her starring at her, once again, with those sweet adorable puppy eyes that she'd never been able to resist.
Because they were exactly like Ross'.
"What's up, honey?" Rachel asked, reaching out take her daughters hand.
"I'm tired, but I cant sleep" Emma said, letting herself being pulled into her mothers warm embrace.
"Me too" Rachel smiled, "I feel exactly the same"
"What are we gonna do?" Emma asked.
"I could push the couch into your room right next to your bed?" Rachel suggested, "Then we could hold hands and talk until one of us sleep?"
"Yeah" Emma smiled, "I want to ask you stuff"
"What stuff?" Rachel asked, getting up to push the couch – if she had the strength.
"Stuff about you and dad" Emma said, "Because I remember things… And… I want to know what will happen now?"
Rachel froze.
"Will you please tell me?" Emma asked, "The truth?"
Rachel looked at her only child with tears in her eyes. And just like earlier, when she'd asked if everything was about to change, she knew she owed her the truth.
"Yes" she whispered, "Of course I will"
--
Ross couldn't sleep either.
He was starring out the window, wondering what Rachel was doing right now? How she was feeling and what she'd told Emma.
He wished he was there with them.
As if nothing had ever changed, as if they were still the happy family, waking up every morning to coffee and another day filled with laughter.
He sighed and looked directly at the blue moon.
He just didn't know that, not so many miles away, the love of his life, was starring at the exact same moon.
Okay. This chapter didn't move us along much, but it dealt with some feelings, mostly Rachel and Emma's though. I count on being back soon ;p Leave me a review, 'cause you know how much I love them. Thanks, Stessa H.