Hi there again :) Happy New Years. Next chapter is up, and thank you for the reviews. So, so, deeply sorry about the delay, but I've been so busy, with the new year coming and all. But I'm back now, hoping that there wont be so long between all of my chapters from now on.
Disclaimer; I do not own Friends. If I did own them, I'd have a lot more money than I do now, and had I created them, I would have never broken Ross and Rachel apart. (Just for you information, if anyone is interested? ;p)
What Love Can Do
Chapter 12.
--
The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.
--
Because I'm afraid that I've fallen totally in love with youIf any sentence had ever surprised her, it had been that one.
She still, so many hours after, didn't know what to say or what to think about it.
If Chandler was indeed in love with her, they had a big problem.
Not only had he left her former best friend, but she used to be engaged to his best friend, who was in the hospital at the moment.
And she didn't really know how to feel about it.
She did have feelings for him too, but she wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to really act on them.
She just broke things off with Ross, and her and Emma should settle into a new routine now, though it would probably be great to be with him… She wasn't sure.
She shook her head and sighed. Got her act together and reached out for her cell phone, which had laid on the floor, since she'd hung up on Chandler last night.
She grabbed it, and realized that it was 5:30.
She would get up, get herself and Emma ready, and go to work.
That was her plan for the day.
--
Phoebe was just getting out of the shower, when the phone rang. She was surprised that someone would call her, unless it was a client of hers who was calling to cancel. She hoped not, she couldn't lose more clients. Her and Mike's money were already tight.
She reached out for the cordless, and was relived when she recognized Monica's number. But then her relief grew into concern… Why would Monica call now?
"Phoebe speaking"
"Hi Phoebs!" Monica cheered, though Phoebe was sure it was false, "I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Nah, I was in the shower" Phoebe chatted, looking for some clothes in the drawer in their bedroom, "And Mike and Lily left 15 minutes ago, so I'm alone. What's up? Something wrong?"
"No, or a little…" Monica trailed off, "Chandler left me yesterday. I just thought you should know"
"He what?" Phoebe was genially surprised. She definitely didn't see that one coming! She knew they had problems, but she didn't think that it was that serious!
"Yeah, he told me he had feelings for Rachel, and then he packed his things" Monica said, "He's living at his moms place for awhile"
"But- how are you feeling? What about the kids?"
"I'm actually doing okay" Monica said, "Though yesterday I was crying my eyes out, I'm perfectly fine now"
Phoebe raised an eyebrow, "Now see, I don't believe that !"
"I am, seriously!" Monica argued, her voice cracking.
"You know what?" Phoebe decided, "I'm gonna come out and visit you guys when I have time today. I also have to visit Ross, but I'll squeeze it in, okay?"
"Okay" Monica said, "Though I really am okay"
"If you say so" Phoebe sighed, hanging up the phone.
Now, she really had plans for the day!
--
Ross sighed.
He was getting nowhere.
He'd been reading the same page in his Dinosaur book for 15 minutes now, and he couldn't remember what it was about.
He was too distracted.
Rachel's words from yesterday seemed to had taken over his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about her, and the way she'd yelled at him, just out of nowhere. Something must have trigged her to come, to suddenly just yell at him, and he didn't know what it was. All he knew was the it had done him good.
He deserved it.
She was right, after all. He had responsibilities. If he didn't get to walk again, he would lose his job. He couldn't afford that. Talking about dinosaurs was all he knew.
And if he wanted to make an effort to get her back… He really had to get himself together.
He was seriously thinking about it.
If he could walk again when he got out of the hospital, he could do nice things for her. Make her forgive him, and then they could be a little family again.
Because he wanted that.
Maybe he hadn't treated her all that well, and he didn't know why. He'd done a lot of unreasonable stuff, and he deeply regretted that, but if she could find it in her heart to forgive him, he'd be the first to say sorry.
Before he could do that, though, he had to train his legs.
Because he knew for sure, that Rachel would never be interested in him if he was in a wheelchair.
She did love him, for all he knew, but she was still Rachel.
--
"This apartment, is great, it has two bedrooms, kitchen, bathroom, living room and a storage room downstairs. I think it would fit you really good"
"Yeah," Joey trailed his hand over the wall. Apartment hunting wasn't his strong side. Gina had founded the one he had in L.A., and he had just moved in with Chandler in the old one. How would he know what to go after? What to look for? "This certainly looks good. Two bedrooms you said?"
"Yes, so you can have a roommate, or a kid. What you want" the woman smiled.
"Hmm, you know what?" Joey shrugged, "I think I'm gonna do this. It seems like a nice place. It could work here. Where should I sign?"
"Hmm," the woman shot him a smile, "Come with me downstairs, and we'll make a deal"
"Fine" Joey said, taking one last look around, "I'll be with you in two minutes, if it's okay? I would like to see this place on my own"
"Fine, I'll be waiting outside if you need me" she said, and soon she was gone.
Joey sighed and took a look at the kitchen again.
He was making the right decision. He'd never really settled good in L.A. and Chandler needed Nora's place right now, to figure some things out. Until he knew what he wanted, so Joey didn't want to be interrupting anything.
That's why an apartment had seemed like such a nice idea right then.
And this place was really wonderful. He believed he could make himself really happy here. It wasn't too big, nor too small.
Just perfect.
--
Rachel was starring at her computer screen, her fingers moving fast between the keys.
She was playing Tetris, and it was going really good. It was level 3, and it was going faster and faster all the time.
Suddenly, she jumped, when her phone rang.
She paused the game, and picked up her work phone, "Rachel Green, how can I help you?"
"Hey honey"
"Oh…" Rachel's face dropped, "Hi mom"
"How are you doing, sweetie? I talked to Jill! She told me what happened, why haven't you called me?" Sandra Green's voice was shrill, and as much as Rachel loved her mother, she wasn't in the mood for this right now.
"Hmm…" Rachel paused, "I just haven't gotten around to do that yet. I'm still adjusting"
"Yeah, sweetie, I'm so sorry!" Sandra exclaimed, "How is my granddaughter taking it?"
"She's doing okay, I guess" Rachel sighed, realizing she wouldn't get out of this soon, "Though she's starting to annoy me, because she wants to see Ross"
"Yeah, I can imagine" Sandra said, "But have you gotten some action? You need something to take your mind off everything. We could go on a vacation together! Oh, or better! I should set you up with my friend Gregory's son, he's the sweetest thing, and he's a lawyer, you have to meet him"
"No, mom!" Rachel said, "Not up for that… I'm still… in grief, if you say so. Ross and I have troubles, and I don't need another guy right now, I need to make a routine for Emma and I. Can you understand that?"
"But, if you'd just let me…"
"Don't call him, mom!" Rachel argued, "Set Amy up with him instead!"
"Yeah, that's actually a pretty good idea, Rachel" Sandra said, "Hmm, you know what? Why don't you and Emma come on over today? After you've picked her up – I'll get us some dinner and you and I can talk"
"No, mom, I'm really not in the mood for a long talk tonight, I just want to go home and sleep. Isn't that okay?"
"Are you tired honey?" Sandra asked, concerned, "Are you stressed? Sick?"
"Nah, mom" Rachel brushed her off, "I've just gotten a lot on mind lately, and I think that maybe, maybe I'm getting flu, or something, it's really annoying, but Emma was sick a few weeks ago, so maybe she's passed it on to me. It's no big deal, it's just making me so tired"
"Hmm, honey?" Sandra paused.
"What, mom?"
"You don't think you could be pregnant?"
"Pregnant?" Rachel laughed, "No way, mom! Ross and I have always used protection, so that's impossible"
"Then Emma shouldn't be here, should she?"
"Mom…" Rachel trailed off.
"I'm not saying you are, Rachel, I'm just saying, that maybe you should consider it an option, y'know? I mean, you and Ross were living together, sleeping in the same bed, it could be"
"But, mom" Rachel said, rolling a pen between her fingers, "I cant be pregnant. It's impossible"
"Are you telling me that you guys didn't have sex?" Sandra laughed, "See, I don't believe that"
Rachel felt absolutely self-conscious, talking to her mother about her sex-life, and she was absolutely embarrassed too. Her mother just couldn't take a hint, she was Gossip Queen number 1., quickly followed by her three daughters, and if one of them were pregnant, the news would spread till everyone they knew.
"We did have sex, mom" Rachel sighed, "But I'm not pregnant"
"How can you be so sure?" Sandra asked, "You're tired, you're feeling sick… Nauseous?"
"Mom, it doesn't concern you!" Rachel exclaimed, throwing the pen at her table, "I'm really not pregnant. I think I'd know it if I was!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot about your ability to know everything, Rachel" her mom sarcastically replied, "Could you at least face the facts and buy a pregnancy test before you and Emma come for dinner? Then we'll see who is right"
"All right" Rachel said, giving in, "But I'll say this mom, if you tell anyone that I'm pregnant or that I think I am, I'm gonna kill you. You better keep this to yourself. Deal?"
"But Rachel, I'm having lunch with Jill today, don't you think she'd like to know?"
"No, I don't" Rachel said, "You promise me to keep quiet?"
"Okay, Rachel" Sandra said, "I'll see you at 5:30., honey"
"Yeah, mom" Rachel said, "I'll see you"
Rachel hung up and sighed. She stared into space for awhile, considering her mother's words.
Pregnant?
No way.
She grabbed her calendar in her desk drawer, all the while mentally calculating her last period.
--
Chandler was giving up, when he for the hundredth time that day, got her voicemail.
"Hi, this is Rachel. I'm not able to pick up right now, but you can leave a message and I'll call you back. Bye-bye!"
"Hey Rach" he trailed off, "I know I probably freaked you out last night, with you hanging up and all, but ehm… I'm sorry if indeed did freak you out. I just thought you ought to know why I left Mon. Hmm, I didn't mean to freak you out, and I don't want things to be weird between us. Could you please call me back when you've gotten this message? I really need to talk this through with you. Please? Well, I'll go now… And hey – it's Chandler by the way"
He hung up.
That was also only like the hundredth message he'd left that day.
How pathetic.
Yeah, well.
He was Chandler Bing, so that was to be expected.
--
Phoebe got out of the taxi and the taxi driver helped her get Lily's stroller out too. Then Phoebe put her in it, and paid the driver. She thanked him and went to Monica's door.
She walked right in – she knew Monica didn't care.
She had Lily in her arms, and found Monica in the living room, watching Sponge Bob with Jack and Erica.
She gave them a nod, but went right into the bedroom, where an old crib was placed. She lay Lily it in it. She was almost asleep anyway.
She swore to God, she hadn't expected her child to be that easy, especially after watching Jack, Erica and Emma's first months. But Lily had been anything but trouble. She was the easiest kid ever.
Phoebe went into the living room again, where Monica had placed two cups with coffee and two glasses with milk.
Erica and Jack was into the TV, so they wouldn't interrupt them.
"So?" she shot herself into a chair, "What is it that I'm hearing?"
"Well, I told you so" Monica said, "Chandler left me for Rachel"
"I don't think Rachel is in on that" Phoebe said, "She seemed pretty hung up over Ross yesterday"
"Maybe she's faking it"
"No, she wouldn't do that!" Phoebe said, but trailed off, "Though it is weird that she decides to break things totally off with Ross the day Chandler leaves you…?"
"Hmm-mm" Monica said, biting her nail, "If you ask me, something is up"
"I just wish I could figure out what!" Phoebe said.
"Cant you just ask her?" Monica asked, "I mean, she's your friend, you can talk"
"Huh, uhm, Mon?" Phoebe said, "I am actually not speaking with her in the moment. I found the way she treated Ross yesterday, unacceptable, and yeah, now I'm supporting you too, so…"
"Oh" Monica's face dropped, "I just hoped I could, y'know, get some interesting secrets, maybe"
"Sorry" Phoebe said, "But, you could tell me… What did Chandler say, I mean… What?"
"He didn't say much except that he was having feelings for Rachel and that he was gonna stay at his mom's place, but you already knew that"
"But, how about you?" Phoebe digged in, "What do you feel? And I don't want your ´I'm fine´-crap again, ok? I want the real thing!"
"I'm f-" Monica stopped, "I'm getting used to this. I-I… Hmm, I'm not really believing it. I'm living in some sort of nightmare… I- I wish it would all be over soon anyway, but then I think and realize that it wont! I just cant believe it… She was my best friend, y'know. Since we were these little girls, running around with braids and piggy tails, I just… I sometime wish I could go back. Back then life was still out there, there was all these decisions that we didn't have to worry about, because we were just two 6 years old girls, playing with dolls. I miss it"
"I know, Monica" Phoebe said, taking her hand, "I cant imagine what you're going through, but maybe… maybe you girls will work it out?"
"I don't think so, Phoebs" Monica said, "Too many screwed up things have happened, and I cant see us getting through this like we got through everything else. Don't you see? I've lost my best friend. Some moments I think it's even worse than losing Chandler! I mean, boyfriends come and go, but friendships, they're for life! And I've lost the one who's supported me the most. She stayed friends with me, during my fat days! She has done so many things for me!"
"But you've also done so many thing for her" Phoebe said, "So don't eat yourself with guilt. She's the one at fault"
Monica looked at Phoebe with questions in her eyes, "But what if she isn't? What if it really is Chandler who's feeling these things, and she has nothing to do with it?"
"If it indeed is that way," Phoebe said, "Then I think both of us owe her a big fat ´I'm sorry!´"
--
"Grandma!" Emma yelled, storming into Sandra's arms, as soon as the door was open.
"Hi Emma!" Sandra smiled, kissing her granddaughters hair, "Happy to see you!"
"I missed you!" Emma said, jumping happily into the living room.
Sandra laughed and turned around to greet her oldest daughter, "Hi honey!" he hugged her, "How are you feeling?" she padded her stomach.
Oh God, Rachel mused, She's acting like I'm in my fourth month with a batch of pregnancy hormones. God, please, help me get through this night in one whole piece; "I'm okay, mom" she smiled, "Perfectly fine. Nothing to worry about, why wouldn't I be fine?"
Great job, Rach. Just keep rambling, that is doing you good.
"Well, you look kinda pale" Sandra said, padding her chin, "Are you feeling sick?"
"No, no" Rachel said, "No, no, no, no. No, I'm not feeling sick"
Great job, Rach. That was convincing. Definitely. Especially the bazillion no's.
She was feeling sick though.
"You look sick, are you sure?"
"I'm just a little dizzy, will you leave me alone?" Rachel said, "It isn't the end of the world!"
"Excuse me for caring about my daughter" Sandra said, crossing her arms, "You might be carrying a child, you shouldn't exhaust yourself, you should go to the bathroom and find out before dinner!"
"Mom, it's no rush!"
"I'm in a rush!" Sandra said, "I'm getting older, you owe this to me Rachel!"
"Okay then!" Rachel said, making her way into the bathroom, "It'll be a few minutes! Please, do not knock on the door while I'm doing it!"
She smacked the door close and locked it, before her mom could make her way into the bathroom to help her, and sat down on the toilet, cooling down.
Her mom made her so angry sometimes! It was unbelievable. Rachel didn't see herself as a person who got easily angry (well except at Ross, sometimes) but her mom just got it out in her with a snap of her fingers. It was so irritating.
And she was so tired.
She sighed, and took the pregnancy test box, from the sink, where she'd thrown it.
No way, she wasn't pregnant.
--
15 minutes later, when Rachel came out from the bathroom, with a huge smile on her face, her mothers hope sunk.
"Well then?" she asked anyway.
Rachel threw herself in the couch by Emma, who was watching cartoons, "Negative" she just smiled.
"All right" Sandra said.
"You seem sad?"
"I'd just hoped that maybe… I would get another grandchild"
"So you would enjoy it, if I ended up going through another pregnancy alone, considering how things is between me and Ross?" Rachel questioned, "That's nice of you mom, thank you. I appreciate that"
"It wasn't meant like that, Rachel!" Sandra said, "I just think Emma should be a big sister soon. If she gets much older she wont enjoy it. It'll only annoy her, and they wont have any use of each other to play with"
"I'll tell you something, mom" Rachel said, "This might not have occurred to you; but you got me and my sisters with two years apart, but that didn't keep us from hating each other"
"But you like each other now?"
"Oh please!" Rachel said, "I barely talk to Amy, because she's crazy, and remind me too much of what I used to me, and Jill! Don't get me started! She might be good looking, but after she tried to get Ross into bed, our relationship hasn't been the same! I only use her when someone has to watch Emma, and she ain't getting near Ross again, ever!"
"I didn't know you felt that way" Sandra said, surprised. Almost shocked. She silently sat down in her chair, "Why do you feel that way?"
Rachel felt guilt streaming through her body when she saw her mothers crushed face. She might be angry with her because of the whole pregnancy-thing, but she shouldn't have told her that.
He sisters and her might not be the best friends, but they'd made a secret promise to never tell their mom.
It would hurt her too much.
She kneed down in front of her, "I'm sorry mom" she whispered, "I didn't mean to make you sad. We're way better friends then we'd been in the past! You're not mad at me, are you?"
"No, no…" Sandra sighed, "I just… How couldn't I see that?"
Rachel laughed, "I don't know !" she tilted her head, "But we love each other. And we love you and daddy too!"
Sandra hugged her daughter, "Oh, I know that. You're sticking with me and my annoying habits. Who would do that if they didn't love the person?"
"I don't know" Rachel said.
"Well, let's go eat dinner" Sandra said, "You hungry, Emma?"
"M'kay!" Emma smiled, turning off the TV.
--
"So, I got the place from next week on!" Joey smiled, looking happily at Chandler.
"That's great, Joe" Chandler said.
"What's wrong, buddy?" Joey asked.
"Hmm, I… I haven't been able to talk to Rachel" Chandler said, "After what I told her last night, she's been avoiding me"
"Don't say that!" Joey said, "Maybe she just forgot her cell at home!"
"You think?"
"I don't know…" Joey trailed off, "You wanna do something fun?"
"What?" Chandler asked, positive.
"We could go for a drink at The Green Lagoon?"
"Y'know what?" Chandler said, getting up, "Let's do that. I could really use a drink"
Joey smiled and followed him.
--
"So, I'll call you soon?" Sandra suggested, looking at Rachel and Emma.
"Yeah, and thanks for dinner mom, it was wonderful" Rachel said. She leaned forward and hugged her, "Bye-bye"
"Bye! Bye Emma!" Sandra waved at them.
"Bye grandma" Emma smiled.
Rachel turned around on the stairs, behind her daughter, to get to their cab.
She went into the car, a hand on her stomach, hugging her secret.
Okay, so this chapter was definitely the worst to write yet. I hope it's not gonna be like that from now on, though I doubt it, 'cause I really care about this story, and I want to finish it :) I practically had to force myself to begin with, and that's probably why the beginning wasn't too great, I hope you can bear with me? Anyway, you guys are so wonderful, always leaving reviews, and you should keep doing that, because I'm so happy when I get one ;p I hope this wasn't too… Hmm, I don't know, weird, but it's been planned from the beginning. Comments and feedback is welcomed in the reviews, very much in fact. And also, Happy New Years once again (How many times have I said it now, I don't know, but I can help it). Be back with more soon.
Laters, Stessa.