First of all I'd just like to say, threatening me is not going to make this what you want, neither is bribery or any other kind of persuasion.
I'm not going to do something if I don't want to do it, so this fanfic will be what I want it to be ok? Good
Right, sorry about that, anyway, Thank You for the excellent reviews and I'm really glad you all still like reading this as much as I love to write it. So please keep reading and reviewing, and I'd just like to say one more thing, I now know how this whole fanfic is going to turn out, because I've written the end of it, so watch this space for what I'd like to call hints as to what pairing it will be in the end. Please Enjoy…..
The Italics are still flashbacks, but the bold is what happened last chapter, just so you don't get confused.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
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Part 10 'Who Are You?'
Lorelai thought she owed Rory and explanation and just as she prepared her first words with her daughter in nearly 5 years, Rory spoke
"Mom, what are you doing here?" Rory asked as she began to cry. Too many things were happening right now, she just felt like she couldn't cope
"I wanted to see you Rory"Lorelai was scared, she was scared that Rory was going to shout that Rory was going to tell her to leave, and worst of all say those words that every kid said to their parents, but Rory had never really said, 'I hate you'.
But Rory didn't do any of those things, she just stared, she stared at her mom, standing there, she stared at Luke who was studying every inch of her body. Rory's mind was filling up with questions, questions that she had pushed back, right back to the furthest point in her mind, now they had all been let loose, the tiny piece of Rope that had been holding them back all these years had finally snapped and now the questions were spinning around her mind and she couldn't control them.
Neither Rory nor Lorelai had any idea of what to say next, they were both a little to shocked to say anything. However, Luke knew what he had to do. Luke whispered to Lorelai that he would be back in half and hour, then left Lorelai and Rory alone, with the exception of Levi who was still sleeping soundly beside Rory.
Lorelai couldn't stand the silence, she knew that someone was going to have to speak eventually, so she just decided she would be the one to do it first. "So that's Levi then"
"How did you know?" Rory asked coldly
"Who doesn't know" Lorelai said
"Well I wasn't really sure if you knew or not, I mean I figure if you did know you might have called."
"Why didn't you call?" Lorelai shot back
Rory didn't know what else to say "So you didn't call but you just came all the way to LA to see me" Rory said almost angrily
"Yeah, I came here, because I wanted to see you. I haven't seen you in almost 5 years. 5 years, do you know what that been like for me" Lorelai shouted
"Like for you, it's been the same for me!" Rory screamed back
Levi stirred and Lorelai lowered her voice as she spoke "Yeah right, you've been too busy jettsetting around the world, making movies and spending your billions"
"How can you say that! How can you say that I haven't thought about you? Because, let me tell you, I have, there's not been a day when I haven't thought about you! Everyday that I see Levi or Dylan do something new, or do something that makes me smile, I think of you, I think of how proud you were of me and how let you down. So you can come here and say I don't care and I'm ungrateful and whatever else you want, but the one thing you can say is that didn't think about you, because I did, I thought about you all the time!" Rory was crying hysterically now, she couldn't stop it. These tears had been trapped inside her soul, held hostage by her image, but now they were coming, 5 years of tears. The tears that she had held back, nights when she lay in bed but couldn't cry because she knew she wasn't supposed to, she was supposed to be strong. But now she felt so far away from strong, that she almost felt worthless, like she may as well not exist.
Lorelai still stood watching Rory cry. Lorelai felt so bad for coming here and yelling at Rory. She had had these dreams about what she would say when she got here, but all of those things had been pushed from her mind by the anger that she thought she had put behind her a long time ago. Lorelai remembers the night well, the night she first found out about Levi, it was 4 years ago and she and Luke were watching CNN and it was on, the birth of Rory Gilmore's first son, Levi Richard. She remembers the pain she felt that night. The next morning when she woke up, she wrote a vow and a paper bag from Luke's, the vow said that's he would forget this ever happened and forget that Rory was famous and that from that day on she would listen to Luke and Sookie and not read magazines or watch the news when Rory was in them. Lorelai would put Levi's birth behind her and go back a year, and pretend that she never knew about Rory, as if her life had changed the day Rory left. And that was how it had been for 4 long years, Lorelai almost forgot that Levi ever existed, that's why she was so shocked when she read that magazine, until she remembered she did know about him, she had just chosen to forget.
"Mommy" Levi sat up and rubbed his little eyes with his fist. He had heard Rory crying, he tapped her on the shoulder and crawled over to her 2Mommy, what's wrong, where's Benny?"
"Hey baby, I'm fine, just a bit upset that's all baby" Rory held Levi close to her and stroked his hair, it was beautifully blonde and soft, just like Logan's.
"Who are you?" Levi asked, finally setting his eyes on Lorelai, Levi was always very curious and not afraid of anything, he got that from his father.
"I'm Lorelai" Lorelai wasn't really sure what to tell him, she had no idea if Rory had even told them about her.
"Oh" Levi said simply, satisfied with just a name to put to her face. Levi leaned into Rory and started to drift off, back to sleep.
Lorelai watched on as Rory held Levi, stoking his hair and whispering answers to his endless questions into his ear.
Levi finally went off to sleep and Lorelai and Rory were once again alone.
"He's a lot like you you know" Lorelai said, making her way across to one of the chairs beside Rory
"You think? I always thought he looked like Logan, his hair is exactly the same" Rory voiced her opinion as if nothing had gone on between her and her mom
"Yeah, but he has your eyes" Lorelai said softly, sitting just 3 chairs down from Rory, separated in the middle by a sleeping Levi
"yeah, Dylan has Logan's eyes but everyone says he looks more like me" Rory explained
"well I've only seen his picture in magazines, but from what I have seen I'd say he's beautiful, just like you" Lorelai smiled at Rory
"Thanks" Rory felt peaceful al of a sudden, like she was a little child again and her mom was here to take care of her. These past few years hadn't been easy for Rory, especially without her best friend in the whole world to help her throughout them, and now she needed her mom the most, and it was as if Lorelai had known Rory needed her and just ran straight to the rescue.
"So 3 kids in 5 years, that's a lot" Lorelai commented
"yeah, I suppose" Rory nodded, she didn't want to move from that safe place she was in right now "Do you have any more, well children" Rory suddenly felt weird asking her mom this question, she shouldn't have to ask this, she should know something like this.
"No" Lorelai answered
"So you and Luke must have only just got married" Rory had done a quick estimate in her head
"Oh no, me and Luke aren't married" Lorelai said, almost happily, she hadn't wanted to get married without Rory and now she could feel Rory slowly coming back to her, even if she had only been here 20 minutes
"What! Why?" Rory was shocked, whenever she was lonely over the past 5 years she would think about her mom and Luke, and what they're wedding would be like, where they would be living now and how many half brothers and sisters she would have. This came as a great surprise to Rory, she had always expected them to be married by now.
"Well, we were going to get married, we even got right to the altar, but I just couldn't do it" Lorelai explained, almost with a smile on her face, she lied remembering her nearly wedding day, even if it was a mess, it was a turning point in her life, it was the time that made her realise what she needed and what she had in her life. So what if it ended in tears, it was a lesson for her and she liked that when she thought about her almost wedding, it at least brought back one good memory.
"Why not, you love Luke right, he's here now isn't he" Rory was frantically
"I didn't marry Luke because…" Lorelai faded her voice off into nothing, she didn't want to make Rory feel guilty, she hadn't come here for that, she came her to giver support, bot to hurt her
"Because what?" Rory questioned
Lorelai did think she should tell Rory, even if she didn't want to hurt her, Rory deserved to know these things
"I didn't marry Luke, because you weren't there", So much for not making her feel guilty, Lorelai couldn't help but cry and when Rory processed her moms last words she to began to cry, she couldn't help it, she felt as if she had ruined both hers and her moms life, in just one second. The second she decided to drop out of Yale and let Mitchum Huntzberger win, Rory had became another person, a person that Rory didn't like at all.
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Lorelai awoke quickly, the phone was ringing. She looked across to her alarm clock, 2am, who would be ringing at 2am.
She moaned and groaned to herself as she sleepily got out of bed and wandered down the stairs. She picked up the phone and held it to her ear
"Hello" Lorelai waited for a response but no one spoke
"Hello" Lorelai said once a gain, but still there was no answer.
Lorelai had been getting calls like this for weeks, sometimes at night, sometimes during the day and sometimes even to her cell, but no one ever spoke. She had tried tracing the number but the caller always withheld it.
Lorelai had thought she knew who it was, but she wasn't really sure, but tonight was the final straw, she was tired, angry and wanted to go back to bed
"Rory is that you?" Lorelai shouted "Because if it is, then at least say something, don't ring at 2 am and just sit there on the phone, say something or don't bother to call ever again, Oh and if its not Rory then I'm sorry, but please don't call at 2am again. Thank You"
On the other end of the phone, Rory alone beside her bed, her huge pregnant stomach resting on her lap. She had just got to her hotel after a 2-hour flight from New York.
She had been ringing her mom for months but never had she plucked up the courage to say something. She just wanted to hear a familiar voice every now and then. The voice of someone who wasn't lying to her or telling her what to do, which is all, she got now, living in Hollywood and all. Sometimes she rang her moms cell; sometimes she rang the house. She had even rang the inn once or twice, Michel had answered the first time and sworn at her, Sookie had answered the second time but after 10 minutes of talking to herself, she said she had to go other wise her soufflé wouldn't work and then she hung up. Luke had answered one time when she had rang her moms, he had gotten pretty angry at her for calling, but still it was good t hear his voice, she felt as though for just one second, she was back in her little town of Stars Hollow, where hardly anyone lied, in fact they often told the truth more than they needed too.
Rory wanted to say something this time but wasn't sure what, her mom sounded way too mad to talk seriously so Rory just whispered "It's only midnight here" then carefully put the phone down and began to cry.
Back in Stars Hollow Lorelai was puzzled, she said "what?" but then the phone went dead, Rory had hung up.
Lorelai stood with the phone in her hands and cried, she had shouted at Rory and scared her away, now she may never get her back.
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"I'm sorry mom" Rory said simply, that's all she felt was needed, she didn't think there was anything else she could do
"Don't worry about it kid" Lorelai said, everything turned out for the best because of it.
Lorelai smiled at Rory as they both sat there silently, Levi sleeping soundly on the chair in between them.
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Ok, so this was quite a long chapter and really a bit of a filler, I hope you guys didn't get too bored and I promise next time there will be some Logan/Rory scenes and possible (I make no promises) a MAJOR Rory/Benny scene. So all I can say is tune in next time to find out, oh and remember, the more you review the faster I post
Peace out
elliex