Chapter 17

Abbey sat up and pushed back against the headboard, grimacing with a twinge of pain.

She wanted to look at Jed, but couldn't.

"I'm scared, Jed. I'm only half a woman. This surgery took away half of me. It took it without warning. Without any chance to come to terms with such a drastic change."

"Scared about what, Abbey? Please baby. Please tell me what's bothering you."

"I'm scared about the future."

"Abbey, that's crazy."

"No. it's not. You don't understand. My uterus was part of me, an essential part of me. I can't have any more children. No more monthly periods where I know I'm functioning as a woman."

"Abbey, look at me." Jed had moved to sit in front of her. Only when Abbey's eyes met his, did he continue.

"Abbey, you're a doctor. You know that you're more than what was taken. You're so much more. This will not affect how much I love you. Kim said you were starting menopause already so your periods were going to end. And we are certainly too old to even consider having another child. You have two grandchildren you can love as well as any children that Ellie or Zoey might have. So what is the real problem?"

Abbey glanced away from Jed as she couldn't look her husband in the eyes.

"Abbey, look at me. What is the real reason you're upset about this?"

He took his fingers and moved her face so she was forced to look into his eyes. Eyes full of love and understanding.

"I worry about pleasing you. The surgery removed the parts of me that makes me a woman. How can I satisfy you if those parts are gone? They are an integral part of my response to you. We work so hard to satisfy each other."

"You satisfy me no matter what we're doing. In the kitchen, in the barn, watching TV, everywhere. So we won't have sex as often. That's okay. I married you for who you are, not for the sex. I fell in love with you a long time before we had sex. Now, don't get me wrong. The sex has been great. But I would much prefer having you by my side healthy than have great sex and you not healthy. Do you believe me? I love you for you. And I always will."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Abbey, please believe me baby. We have a future together."

Abbey knew that Jed meant every word he said. But what would he do when reality sank in? When he didn't get the same response from her now as he did before?

There was no answer from Abbey, so Jed continued. "If you're worried about this, talk to your doctor. I doubt you're the first woman with these fears."

"I will. I have a check-up in a few weeks. I'll ask."

Abbey wiggled herself back over to Jed. "In the meantime, we need to sleep."

They quickly fell asleep in each other's arms. At least for tonight there was no fear in either's heart.