High School Story: Mysterious Circumstance Chapter 3: All Star, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my plot, ideas and characters.

Disclaimer II: I don't own the song All Star. That belongs to Smash Mouth.

Enjoy.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

"All Star"

James

Remus missed the start of Herbology, arriving ten minutes into Sprout's mind boringly dull "course work, revision, exams" lecture. It made her shut up, at least. For about two seconds. Remus slid in dutifully beside us and I ignored him again, to focus my attention on Lily.

Why did I fancy her so much? Some people called me obsessed, and I was beginning to think they were right. I only started to like like her in the middle of fourth year and after many put downs, rejections and slaps; I still wasn't getting the message. What the hell was wrong with me? Why didn't I get it? Or why couldn't I stop liking her?

I mean, apart from the fact that she was gorgeous. Lily Evans was beautiful, with that long red hair and those eyes… God, if I had to look at one thing for the rest of my life, it would be those eyes. Almond shaped and pure green. I'm not very good with words, except swear ones, so I need Remus's advice on this. He can do all that poetry shit and song writing. Puke puke gag gag. But girls really go for it, apparently. I already had an idea for a Valentine's prank…

Right now I had to focus on the Animagus project that we were still hiding from Remus, which was a major score for us. Our current prank was the tidal wave/foam thing. We planned to give everyone in the Great Hall a breakfast bath. Some people really needed to, for a start. Lucius Malfoy's hair was so shiny I was sure it was a wig, so I planned to wash it off. Snape. Well, his hair was a big ball of grease so he would thank us one day.

We were debating whether or not to let Remus in on it. I mean; he had come up with some gut busting funny ones over the last two years. We magicked everyone's shoes into the Great Hall one night. I cannot even describe how funny it was to see about a gazillion shoes and everyone's gob smacked faces. We got about a month's detention for that episode but it was well worth it. And it was all his idea. Also the underwear flags, the name swap-seat swap when we had substitutes and supplies, he locked Professor Todd in a cupboard… The list goes on. He was a proper Marauder, bred through and through, so I was really uneasy about not including him.

Sirius was convinced Lily had turned him and Peter was agreeing with him, which was weird. Sirius and Peter clashed like red hair and a Cannons hat. I don't think he was really in the mood, either. He seemed sort of listless and bored.

Anyway, back to the present and the goddess.

Lily wasn't listening to Sprout, which was a major surprise. She was talking to Carrie Rose Fox in a low voice. Carrie was listening, and absentmindedly sneaking glances at Ronnie Lyon. Everyone knew about Carrie and Ronnie, except Ronnie and Carrie.

Sirius nudged me and I looked down at a piece of parchment covered in squiggles. Oh, wait. Formulas. No, formulae, as McGonagruel was always hyping on about. I guess this was our Animagi homework for the night.

'Oh, what!' I moaned. He nodded grimly.

'What's that?' Remus pounced.

'Nothing,' I said convincingly. Remus shot me a look, and if his looks could kill, I'd be cold on the ground with a chalk outline.

'Don't tell me its nothing when I can see it's something,' he snarled, which was quite out of character.

'Aw, PMT already?' cooed Sirius. PMT was a snide joke, Personal Moon Trouble.

'Shut your face,' Remus snapped.

"Touchy!" sniffed Sirius in annoyance.

'Would you boys like to share your discussion with the entire class?' Sprout cut in.

"Oh, yes," snarled Remus sarcastically under his breath.

"I was just…deliberating over whether I should ask out the lovely Lily Evans for the fourteenth time this week," I replied. I always think you should mix your lies with the truth.

Lily shot me a look similar to Remus's. What was it about me that made people want to kill me with their eyes? She was bright red in the face as a few people sniggered. I don't mean to make her embarrassed. I just…

'Don't sulk, darling, it's a most unattractive habit,' I said cheekily. Lily bit her lip hard in fury. What else did she like to bite? Heh heh.

'Mr Potter, would you please do yourself a favour and be quiet?' asked Sprout.

We all heard the bell ring in the castle and automatically started to pack up, chattering amongst ourselves.

'I hate to remind you all, but this is a double period,' said Sprout tersely. 'I was planning on doing some practical work but since some of you'- daggers at me-'seem to be unable to cope without being silly, I think we can do some textbook work,' Sprout finished with obvious satisfaction.

Everyone groaned and grumbled as they got their stuff out again, and there was that scraping of the chairs and the asking for ink and quills and the rustle of chewing gum wrappers. There was quiet for a few minutes, if you can call the turning of twenty pages and the scratching of twenty bird feathers quiet, until Dawn Jones, in Hufflepuff, spilt her ink.

If you think this a perfectly ordinary thing to happen, ink spilling, then you are right. If you think it is a perfectly ordinary thing when Dawn Jones spilt her ink, then you are wrong.

Dawn was not a quiet person by nature. In fact, to put it simply, she was a walking exclamation mark. She could hardly talk without shouting or emphasising and she accompanied her speech with lots of animated hand waving and big facial expressions. She was hilarious and a great part time Quidditch commentator. The other Quidditch commentator was Ryan Far, her cousin.

She was very tall, about 5'11, and quite skinny. She was a little bit gangly, as though she had another inch or so to grow and then be comfortable with the height. Her eyes were a sparkly blue and her hair was long and flame red. She was very pretty, actually, but I still cringe when I remember my first year crush on her.

'OH MY GOD!' she screamed. Heads turned, people jumped and spilt their own inks.

'Miss Jones! Please control yourself!' cried out Sprout as she saw that Dawn hadn't decapitated herself.

'ITS ALL OVER MY BOOK!' she continued.

'Calm down!' glared Andrea Wallis, or the stuck up cow, as we like to call her.

Dawn gave her daggers of her own. Andrea Wallis likes to think she's hard but Dawn is tougher than she looks and she looks tough to start with. If they got into a fight, my money would be on Dawn. I think Dawn could take out a lot of people, except maybe Bellatrix Black, Sirius's cow of a cousin. She's hard as nails, a lot harder than her boyfriend, Rudi Lestrange.

When the class settled a bit, although we were all a bit talkative after and when Sprout had ducked her head down, Andrea turned to Dawn again.

'Who the hell do you think you are?' she sneered.

'Dawn Jones.'

'Don't be wide.'

'What, wide like your arse?'

Some of the class 'oooohed' in low voices. I was one of them.

'You better watch yourself, Jones. If you want to stay all in one piece. You're friends aren't always around you, ' Andrea managed to spit out.

Dawn tapped bits of her body, as if to check they were still attached. She looked around.

'Oh, look! They're not here now!' she said in mock shock.

'You're going the right way for a slap,' whispered Andrea malevolently.

'Go on, then. Just make sure you hit hard enough to leave a mark,' hissed Dawn.

I had never heard her talk like that before. Sirius and me gave each other looks but wisely said nothing. Dawn had toes of steel and while Sirius and I like to think we're tough, well… Dawn was merciless.

The bell rung again, the distant buzz from the castle. I checked my timetable, which didn't have blood, spit or ink on it yet! Must be a miracle! It looked like this:

5G1 JAMES POTTER P. McGonagall

MONDAY

5GH1234 Herbology P. Sprout

5GH1234 Care of Magical Creatures P. Kettleburn

5GS1278 Potions P. Slughorn

5G12 Social Education P. McGonagall

TUESDAY

5GR1256TransfigurationP. McGonagall

5GS1256CharmsP. Flitwick

5GS1278PotionsP. Slughorn

5-DivinationP. Rose

5GHRSHistory of MagicP. Binns

WEDNESDAY

5GH1234HerbologyP. Sprout

5GH1234Care of Magical Creatures P. Kettleburn

5-DivinationP. Rose

5GS1256CharmsP. Flitwick

5GS1278PotionsP. Slughorn

5G12Health EducationP. Forge

THURSDAY

5-DivinationP. Rose

5GS1278Defence Against Dark ArtsP. Forge

5GS1256CharmsP. Flitwick

5GS1278PotionsP. Slughorn

5GR1256TransfigurationP. McGonagall

FRIDAY

5GS1256CharmsP. Flitwick

5GR1256TransfigurationP. McGonagall

5GS1278Defence Against Dark ArtsP. Forge

5- DivinationP. Rose

5GH1234HerbologyP. Sprout

Yeah, I know. A lot of numbers and stuff. But I have a pretty good timetable, I guess. Our new DADA teacher is amazing. He knows his stuff and doesn't have a stick up his arse. Also he seems to like us. Or at least, not hate us and humiliate us and/or reduce us to tears. And we have Health Education with him, which should be an absolute banter.

We're doing the 'dangers of drugs and alcohol'. Oh no! It's a half glass of Firewhiskey, how many units, how many units! and what is it doing to my INSIDES? Cirrhosis of the liver, oh dear!

Please. Give. Me. A. Break.

Still, our next topic is the 'dangers of sex' because as we all know, we could get pregnant and DIE. Well, we'd get the girls pregnant and then they'd kill us, or their fathers would.

We all left an already weary Sprout for a fifteen-minute break. Andrea, with her little cronies, Delilah Simmons (my mate Paul Simmons non identical twin sister), Eva Grid and Lola Zehauski stood threateningly in front of Dawn.

Her friends Emmeline Vance, Amelia Bones, Alice Maiden and Marlene McKinnon backed off slightly, knowing that Dawn could handle herself. They went off with the rowdy Hufflepuff boys.

'What do you want, Andrea?' I heard Dawn sighing as we walked off to the courtyard quad. We sat up on our usual wall, Sirius casually checking out anything that walked by in a skirt, Peter glancing nervously backwards to where Dawn and Andrea were now arguing and Remus staring at his shoes as though they were the most disgusting things he'd ever seen. And I was sitting, looking unbearably handsome (ha ha) and surveying it all.

'What's up, Moony? Shit on your shoes?' I said conversationally.

'Huh?' he said, snapping his head up to look at me. Remus is not the type of person who usually says huh, not when twenty long difficult ones are available.

'What's up with your shoes?'

'Nothing. Is there anything wrong with my shoes?' He seemed genuinely confused.

I sighed and didn't answer. He was becoming more and more distant and I kept thinking that maybe Sirius was right after all. But then again, Remus is hardly the dipshit of us four, so maybe he'd noticed…

Brrr-ing. That bloody bell was getting on my nerves.