Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my plot, ideas and characters.

Disclaimer II: I don't own the song Sewn. That belongs to The Feeling.

Enjoy.

Danny boy, don't be afraid, to shake that ass, and misbehave
Danny boy, I know you got time, but what are you waiting for,
Anyway the dust may just blow away, if you wait for a windy day
But you may find the chance has past you by
"Sewn"

Sirius

Sunday night and me, Peter and James are sitting round a table, adding the finishing touches to a quality prank and discussing the problem we had at the moment.

'Dear, dear, what's ailing us now?' James began, but I cut him off.

'Finish your sewing.'

'But,' James stared to whine.

'Now,' I said in my McGonagall voice.

'You know, you sounded like McGonagall there,' said Peter, rubbing his eyes.

God, I'm too much of a genius to be hanging out with these clueless dipshits. (Ha ha) (About the genius part, not the clueless dipshit part. We all are.)

'And FYI, this prank is the total dogs,' said James, eyeing me for a reaction. I gave him the finger and he smacked me upside the head.

'Yeah, well. We have to do something or they'll expect the great Foamy Tsunami of Terror,' James said without a hint of sarcasm.

'Dude, no one will ever expect that coming.'

'But it will do them all good. I mean, how much do people in this school wash anyway?' Peter snickered.

'Yeah, but we do actually have a problem with the whole Remus thing, you know,' he continued, sinking onto his arms in tiredness. It was only half one. Talk about total lack of party animal!

'Don't I know it! But at least we basically got the Thing down,' muttered James, stabbing his needle about.

'Oh, yes, baby. Cause that we do,' I said, sarcasm dripping from every word like Snape's hair grease.

'Was that sarcasm dripping from every word like Snape's hair grease?' said James.

'Ew! Bad Images!' we both yelled in unison.

'Shut up! We're trying to sleep in tents up here!' came a muffled scream from upstairs.

'What the hell you sleeping in tents for?' I bellowed back.

I took a look "at two of the crew" and well, it was inevitable, really. We all creased up laughing.

XxX.

'Woot woot!' yelled James, cupping his hands over his mouth to amplify the sound. Remus looked over and rolled his eyes and Lily ignored him and continued to brush her hair. Was that really hygienic? I mean. Come on. It was the breakfast table.

'Gorgeous as your hair is, I don't want it in my breakfast,' said Andie dryly. You know, sometimes I'm not ashamed to be related to her.

'I wouldn't mind it in my breakfast. I love breakfast in bed,' grinned James.

'Shut your face,' snapped Lily, as a few people sniggered.

'Woot woot!' yelled James again, and an owl swooped down, dropping a handkerchief on Lily.

'Oh for Gods sakes, Potter!' stormed Lily, over her singing handkerchief.

"Lily Evans, she makes me think of heaven

And the number seven

Which is how many detentions

I got after pulling you (Doo Doo Doo)

Evans, Heaven, Seven!

I wish we could do 69

We could, if you were mine."

'Oh my god! I hate you! Inconsiderate bastard!' Lily screamed, too loudly because the whole Hall turned to hear the handkerchief sing the Lily, Heaven, Seven Song, written by James Potter at half one on a sugar high.

'You'll need to hang on to it though! It'll come in handy!' insisted James over his laughter.

With the humiliation over, the rest of the Hall turned back to what it was doing. I saw Jenna Lurenz, Remus's best friend toying with her food. Remus walked the whole way around the table to sit next to her, then poured her juice. I saw her smile and pick up the spoon. I saw a Ravenclaw girl repeatedly kissing this brown curly haired guys cheek. Lexy Toss, a stunner in Ravenclaw was laughing at something Dylan Cross had said. Carla Moran was spreading butter on toast for her friends. Delilah Simmons was braiding Eva Grid's hair. Dawn was flirting with Ben and Josh Neil, the identical twins. Amelia Bones was comforting Emmeline Vance, who seemed to be crying for some reason and Jin Kaiye was holding Kaled Somn's hand and Holly Traveller was surrounded by boys and getting made a fuss of and I was smiling at Andie, who winked at me and Carrie was gazing at Ronnie who was gazing back and John and Paul were flicking sugar at each other…

You know, people say teenagers are a bunch of evil, spotty, bitchy people who all hate each other and can't stop hating each other and getting the evilness in the air. But looking around the hall, I have got faith in the teenage race, because I can see love is all around. (I feel it in my toes!)

I have just lost my faith. I accidentally looked at the Slytherin table.

Lucius Malfoy was saying something very seriously, but he had a bit of porridge stuck to his lip. I hate him, he's such a prick. Oh yuck. There's dearest cousin Bella pulling her boyfriend Rudi Lestrange, surprise surprise. I wish they would stop. I don't want to throw up in my breakfast, you sexually active weirdos! (I'm also sexually active (very sexually active) but still, I don't make people throw up in their breakfast (except out of pure nervousness at my stunningness (haha))).

I'm going to stop using brackets now. I'm confusing myself.

'Doo Doo Doo!' sang Lily's handkerchief, unfazed by the Silencio Charm. She tried to sit on it, and then tied it in a knot. If anything, the singing got louder. James was pissing himself laughing and then Lily gave him a vicious look and then- RIIIIIIIIIP.

'Hey! I stayed up all night sewing that!' yelled James indignantly, all laughter forgotten.

'Does she look like she gives a shit?' asked Carrie and got a laugh from Ronnie. Her happy glow was blinding. I wish they would just shag and get over themselves.

'Woot woot!' James yelled again, and a few more owls swooped down from the ceiling, thrown by Peter from his hiding place (don't even ask how we got him that high!)

The Hall burst into songs from bits of handkerchiefs.

"Oh my gosh!

Severus Snape just needs a wash! My my!

Oh my gosh!

Just buy some decent hair products! Buy Buy!

La la la la lah!"

"Somebody once told me to watch out for Daphne

She ain't the brightest tool in the shed

She'll overpower you with perfume

Then refuse to give you some head."

"Danny boy, don't be afraid, to shake that ass, and misbehave
Danny boy, I know you got time, but what are you waiting for?"

The Hall exploded. That's the best way I can describe it. Everyone started talking and yelling at once and the handkerchiefs didn't shut up. It was so so FUNNY. And then we did Phase Two. Me and James shoved gas masks over our faces and then-

'Woot woot!'

BOOM. An outburst of white powder came shooting from well, everywhere. There was a moment of shocked silence, with everyone looking like they had aged about fifty years with the Sneeze Powder covering their hair. But it was also covering their noses, so inevitably-

'Aaaachhhooooo!'

And obviously inevitably-

'I'm going to kill you for this, Potter!'

'I said you should hang onto it!' pleaded James.

Lily threw her cornflakes at him. Unfortunately for her, it hit the wall and someone else saw and it turned into a school wide riot. It was fantastic. Everyone was covered in milk and butter and jam and sneezing powder and then, inevitably-

'Potter! Black! Detention!'

XxX.

'I stayed up all night sewing that! And then she just rips it in half and gives me this weird look! And it took ages writing the song,' moaned James for about the hundredth time. He was getting on my nerves a bit. OK, he was getting on my nerves a lot.

'Look, we get it! You're hearts sewn!' I snapped.

'You wouldn't have had to sew them all yourself if you had told me about it! Or is this another bloody special project I'm not allowed to know about?' snapped Remus.

'Well you're always swanning off to do Prefect duties!' James snapped right back. 'And my heart is not bloody sewn, I'm just pissed off I wasted my time!' he snapped at me.

'You know she wasn't going to love the song, you stupid arsehole!'

'I didn't want to be a Prefect, you know! I didn't want any of it!'

People were beginning to stare.

Were the Marauders fighting? The Marauders never fought.

We stuck together, through and through. We didn't let any shit get between us.

Right?