A HUGE shout out and thank you to vintage org! She's the absolute bomb and her reviews (and wonderful PM's) make me want to keep writing this weird story! She's a true fan, and my inside woman! haha

(Thanks to all my other reviewers as well! You rock my socks off!)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my plot, ideas and characters.

Disclaimer II: I don't own the song So Ahead Of Me. That belongs to Orson (a band I love).

Disclaimer III: I don't any of the songs mentioned in the 'play lists' either.

You're so ahead of me
Don't see how that could be
Did I just miss something here?
It's the worst I fear

"So Ahead Of Me"

Enjoy.

Remus

I hugged Jenna from behind, clutching at her waist desperately from sheer nerves. It was my first session at HELP. I mean my first one that I led. And I hadn't been this scared since… yesterday. (Because I walked in on Andrea and Peter making out. That was scary shit.)

The cream chairs were set out neatly in the horseshoe shape and looked strangely empty without the people I had come to know so well sitting in them. The blackboard was covered in my handwriting, kind of screwed and childish. It said: THE WAY WE ARE inside a big bubble. I had an idea for my session, but I had no idea how the HELP group was going to take it. It was unorthodox, different and not what they were used to, so would they accept the change or frown and kick me out for breaking the habits? Would they hate it, and me for introducing it?

I reigned myself in, that was paranoia talking, that was the Wolf talking. The Wolf is the darkest, bleakest part of me, but its still a part of me. A still growing, still struggling part of me. But if its got a name it makes it easier to fight it.

'Hey,' said someone softly, closing the door that I hadn't realised was open. It was Christina. Her eyes took in everything, my words on the board, some new graffiti on the walls- Ryan Smells Nice ---Not Very, But Extremely Nice – and me and Jenna.

But to my surprise, she smiled and picked up my camera I had left on the severely graffitied desk- You Will Fail Charms At This Desk..x

I Love Prof. Remora he is sexual. He turns me on Omg He's A Stud..x HANDS OFF HE'S MINE BITCHES- and took a picture.

'You look good together. It looks right,' she said with the softness I had come to accept was the real Christina Krawallen. Her shadow black hair was in loose waves today.

'You look really pretty, Christina,' said Jenna and I in unison.

Christina laughed. At what we were saying? The fact we'd said it at the same time? I think a bit of both. Or maybe more of the first and less of the second. Christina was pretty, she was naturally pretty and anyone with a decent set of eyeballs could see that. When she put all that regulation caked on make up, it was a disguise, an excuse to fit in. Because people didn't just get picked on if they were ugly. Pretty people were ridiculed, too.

Christina took off her tie, turning around to do so, which was kind of stupid. Actually I thought it was a lot stupid. Oh yeah, I forgot, we were supposed to pretend not to know who were all were. That annoyed me. I mean, come on. Christina was wearing her green and silver striped tie and EVERYONE COULD SEE IT.

I suppose it was only me and Jenna in the room.

Jenna and Christina sat down next to each other, and Jenna said something I couldn't quite hear and Christina laughed again. I busied myself with colouring in the T of THE on the blackboard. The door opened again and a stream of people walked in. I heard mingled conversation and it sounded really strange.

Someone concluding a story: And it was a gigantic, huge piece of cheesecake!

Someone(I think this was Jamie): So, even though you don't like the whole Ball thingy, you'll still go with someone, right? Maybe even, I dunno… Me?

Someone Else (I think this was Honey): …

Someone (Jamie): Well I knew you'd say no but I thought I would ask you anyway because I thought some strange force of the universe might change your mind and..

Someone (Honey): I'll go to the Ball with you.

Someone (Jamie) (surprised out of his mind) You will?

Someone (Honey) (laughing) Of course.

Someone: And I heard that Zara Zabini is going out with the fourth year, you know, the one they all talk about. Amos Diggory. He's in that band, the Weird Sisters…

Someone Else: Really? I thought she was going with that seventh year she went out with before… Rosier?

First Someone: She's probably going with them both!

Someone: Is the colour blue really blue?

Someone: I think it was in my dream.

I turned around to face them all, the HELP group. Jamie and Honey were sitting on one chair. Christina, Jenna and Lexy were all giggling, their three chairs smooshed up as close as they could get them. (Kaled wasn't there. Which was probably a good thing or they would have had even less room.) Ryan, Gray, Sherylinn and Bethany were all laughing as they fell off the one chair they had been sitting on. Bethany got up from the floor, still laughing, and put her The Emotion record on. It was like a youth club, with the music playing and the graffitied walls and the laughing… Except if you looked into our eyes you could see the desperation: I wish I wasn't here…

I waited awkwardly, and Bethany turned the record down. I felt embarrassed and gawky, kind of lanky and I didn't want to do it. I wanted to run away.

'OK. Hi. I just want to start this session by saying, I've called this one "The Way We Are" because I have to say, I hate the rule that we pretend not to know each other. Its quite frankly, ridiculous. We're not halfwits or part of MI5. Look, you all know me- I'm Remus Lupin, one of the Marauders, and I'm here to tell you all that I know something about hating the way you look.

For gods sakes! I'm best friends with Sirius Black the Sex God, Most Wanted, Best Kisser-not that I know that for sure, by the way…'

A few people laughed, like I hoped they would.

'You have any clue who my other best friends are? James Potter? Quidditch God? Serial Heartbreaker? Ringing any bells? Oh and Peter Pettigrew, currently dating Andrea Wallis, who everyone wants a piece of… Well actually I know a few people who want to scratch out her eyeballs, but that's another story…'

More laughing. Thank God. Maybe this wouldn't be the embarrassing torture I was expecting it to be.

XxX.

'Hey guys, sorry we're late. Got kind of…distracted.'

'I'll bet,' muttered Andie, eyeing the pink mark starting to show on Jenna's neck. Dammit.

'What's up with you?' Jenna asked, taking my guitar off the wall and passing it to me.

'She's just pissed 'cause the Weird Sisters got first spot at the Christmas Ball,' said Finn, rolling his eyes at her.

'They what!' Jenna and me exploded at the same time.

'Yep, that's right. Summer f Lake is on before us,' Dan scowled, dropped his drumstick and scowled more.

'Well, its kind of good in a way,' I said and the rest of the band stared at me in disbelief.

'It's like they're the opening act for us,' I explained and slowly, they all grinned.

'And you know, opening bands are always really bad. In preparation for the real thing!' Dan grinned.

'Whatever.' Andie was still sulky.

'Cheer up, Chelsea,' said Finn, using her band nickname and ruffling her short blond hair.

'Hey! Hey! Don't touch the hair!'

'Sorry. Are you dyeing it for the ball, by the way?'

'Yep. And I think I might use extensions, too. You can have my old ones, Jenna.'

'Can I? Andie, you're a star.'

Andie smiled, sulkiness forgotten. Then she rummaged around on the desk behind her and picked up a slip which held photos inside, and a folded piece of parchment.

'Pictures of your outfits, Prince Charming, Steven Delfino and Kizzy,' she smiled sweetly, handing me, Finn and Dan our photos.

'Wow. These are really good. Did you do all these yourself?' Dan asked.

'Uhuh. And mine, and I did some changes to Jenna's. But you're not allowed to see ours until the Ball.'

'And what's that?' Finn nodded to the folded parchment piece.

'This,' Andie announced, unfolding it slowly, 'Is our play list.'

Poison

No Tomorrow

Since You Been Gone

Mr Brightside

Dirty

Chelsea Dagger

Everywhere

Miracle

Want

Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued

All You Wanted

Already Over

Friend

There's Gotta Be More To Life

Dirty Little Secret

Dance, Dance

You Get Me

XO

Because Of You

Runaway

Who Knew

She Will Be Loved

Goodbye To You

Then came the applause. Or so it seemed.

Actually, it was a screech owl tapping impatiently on the tiny window.

Andie opened the window, the owl dropped a tightly wrapped scroll then was offskies. Andie unravelled it, expression grim. She passed it around, and I got it last.

Listen To Your Heart

Object Of My Desire

Walk On Water

Truly, Madly, Deeply

Sun

My Dream

In My Eyes

Crazy

Maneater

Hips Don't Lie

Promiscuous

Underneath Your Clothes

'The Weird Sister's play list,' Andie confirmed.

'What's Promiscuous? And Hips Don't Lie?' Dan asked, frowning.

'They've gone urban,' said Andie through gritted teeth, reading the back of the note.

'They won't top us. It's fine,' Jenna tried to reassure us. We all looked at her in disbelief. 'I was thinking, Andie. About your stage smoke idea? It's genius. But it needs something more…'

'Like?'

'Pole dancing.'

'What?' me, Dan and Finn exploded at the same time.

'Pole dancing,' repeated Jenna, like it was obvious. And Andie was nodding, as she was agreeing!

'No way!' me, Dan and Finn exploded again.

'Why not?'

'Isn't it obvious?' Finn asked, exasperated.

Andie and Jenna shook their heads, oblivious and annoyed that we weren't agreeing.

'We're not selling you as whores,' Dan stated bluntly.

'Who said you were?'

'And you know, even if you guys say no, we're going to do it anyway,' said Andie.

Oh my god. I looked at my two guy band members, and wondered if my expression was the same as theirs: exasperated, confused, annoyed and shocked. Still, we shouldn't be so shocked: It's our girls we're dealing with.

More applause. Oh, it was a different owl, one of the school ones. Andie opened the window again and a sealed letter addressed to us, (the band that is) was torn off the leg of the owl. It waited for a few seconds, then flew off.

'Oh my god…' Andie murmured, her eyes wide in shock. Jenna was reading over her shoulder.

'What is it?' Dan and Finn asked.

'It's… Wingcrofts Academy. They're coming here… For the Ball,' said Jenna, looking at us. Dan flinched and Andie looked close to hyperventilating.

'You still up for pole dancing?' Jenna asked Andie nervously.

'Definitely. But I want to change that play list a little,' Andie said, her eyes sharp and glittery. 'I'm guessing you'll want to change it too, Dan, since dearest Thorny is coming?'

Me and Finn exchanged glances. Dan nodded, avoiding our eyes. Who was this Thorny?

'Let me do Centrefold and I'm Not Dead. Please,' continued Andie, her eyes still sharp and glittery, like a shattered mirror.

'But we've hardly practiced-' started Finn.

'There's less than two weeks to the Ball-' I began.

'I don't care. Just let me do them.'

Andie's tone held a finality and a jagged edge to it that we didn't dare question her. Jenna put a comforting hand on Andie's shoulder. Dan was curling his fingers around his drumsticks. Finn was reading the letter. I broke the silence.

'Let's start practicing now, then.'

'What?' four stunned faces looked at me.

'It's half two in the morning.'

'We're here, aren't we? And it's a Friday night. Everyone will be at the Red Dark.'

The Red Dark was a popular nightclub, and the bouncers were as weak and bribable as House Elves, so almost anyone could get in.

Me, Jenna and Finn struck the first few bars of the song and Dan started drumming. Andie breathed in and out, then started to sing…

'I'm on the rebound. I get it when I want to. I'm on the way down…'

XxX.

15th December. Only ten days until the big night. I'm quite worried, because talk has moved on from THE BALL to what's happening after it. James is saying we shouldn't because he says its insensitive, seeing as Lily won't go with him and his heart cannot possibly belong to another.

'Who cares? Just find some stupid jammeee and make sure she's not a chinadoll.'

In Sirius's mind, the problem was fixed as easy as that.

James sighed melodramatically and Sirius threw a shoe at him. James was about to retaliate when he was interrupted by Peters arrival. He had a dazed look on his face, but when he noticed we were in the room, he switched to a triumphant smile. He tossed a tiny box at Sirius.

'Look what's inside.'

Sirius opened it, and frowned.

'There's nothing… Where's the ring?' Then he seemed to realise something, because he got terribly excited.

'Holy shit! Holy shit! The rings gone! Oh my god! If the rings gone then that means… Oh my god. James, Remus you mofos. Get over here. The ring is gone!'

'Sirius, we get that. But what is the problem? Did someone steal it?' James asked mildly as we went over.

'No you thick mofo! Don't you get what this means!' Sirius sighed, and whispered regretfully. 'Peter got laid before us.'

James moved like greased lightening, grabbing the box and tipping it upside down. What a goon.

'No way…'

'Well, mate, hate to break it to you but you weren't likely to be the first. Saving yourself for Lily and all that jazz.'

James scowled at him but turned to Peter.

'What was it like?'

Peter had flopped to the floor and was staring at the ceiling.

'Huh?'

'What was it like, getting laid with the biggest skank in Hogwarts?'

'Shut it, virgin boy,' retorted Peter and Sirius sulked.

'Nice avoidance technique. But its not going to work,' James wasn't giving up.

'OK, OK. It was… pretty good,' Peter grinned embarrassedly. 'Wicked, in fact.'

'When did you give her the ring?' Sirius wanted to know.

'After.'

Sirius sighed meaningfully, as though the answer to life had just been told to him.

'When did the whole ring thing start anyway?' I asked my three friends.

'Dunno. Its just always happened. You have sex with someone, the girl gets the ring, the guy keeps the box,' Sirius shrugged.

'Why are you asking?' James stared at me and I had to look away.

'Oh my god. Are you going to-' Peter started to ask.

'No,' I said too quickly.

Dammit.

'You are. Aren't you? Remus is gonna bang a girl, Remus is gonna bang a girl…' Sirius stopped chanting and eyed me up and down. 'It is a girl, isn't it?'

I rolled my eyes at his stupidity.

'It isn't! Oh my god!'

'No, Sirius. I am not going to bang a guy,' I reassured him.

'So you are going to bang a girl?' Sirius pounced.

'You can tell us you know. We're supposed to be your friends.'

Can I really? I thought. No. They'd just make fun of me. And end up saying something to Jenna, and I would have to kill myself if they started with their stupid remarks…

'Remus?'

'He's not even listening.'

'What?' I moved out of my thoughts.

'Who is she?' asked James curiously.

'Its some Prefect, I bet. God, is it an older woman?' laughed Peter. 'Trying to keep up with her demands, are you?'

I rolled my eyes again.

'Or,' began Sirius, staring at me with a look I knew, the look he gets when he knows I'm lying and he tries to catch me out. 'Is it someone we know?'

'There's no one. You guys are just being idiots.'

'Uhuh. Sure there's no one. I believe you. Except-' Sirius grabbed my shirt and exposed my neck. 'For these darn hickeys. Who are they from?'

'They're not hickeys,' I tried to shrug away from him but his grip on my collar was strong.

'Then what are they?' James smirked.

'Like…a rash or something…' I muttered unconvincingly, painfully aware that Sirius was trying to unbutton my shirt and reveal the rest of the "rash".

'Yep. We can see that, its spread over there,' Sirius pointed to another mark on my chest, near my collarbone. James and Peter snickered and Sirius grinned evilly.

'OK, fine, whatever. You can stop stripping me now.'

James and Peter snickered again but the smile was wiped off Sirius's face.

'Tell us who she is then,' Sirius paused in undoing the buttons.

'For god sakes, quit this already!'

'No! Why are you lying to us?' Sirius shouted angrily, and I shoved him away from me, breaking the hold on my shirt. He shoved back and anger flared up in me. I ripped the last of the buttons off and tossed the shirt furiously on the floor.

'There, happy now?' I snarled viciously, all the while embarrassing aware of my long, thin scars and completely flat, unmuscled stomach. And the love bites on my chest, neck and hips.

'Remus has been busy,' Sirius said approvingly.

'Apparently the quiet boys are not so quiet in the bedroom,' James sniggered.

Peter just shook his head at them while I laughed embarrassedly at their compliments.

'Siddown. And put your shirt on, James is getting excitable,' commanded Sirius.

James punched him in annoyance.

'Looks like we need some serious guy talk.'

'No, I'm good.'

'What?' they were all stunned. I shook my head at them, and left the room, making sure to close the door without slamming it.

A/N: And by the way, this is not a Remus/Sirius.

A/N: If you're reading these words, you must have real strength! Sorry this was so long!