Thanks for your input everyone! I read everyone's responses and the one that stood out came from sweetgreuy who suggested I do a POV from all the characters. I love it! So here is Cameron's.
I am not sure why I do it. Am I a glutton for punishment? There is no other real explanation. House makes it perfectly clear he isn't interested in me, so why can't I stay away? No, I have to continue to care, and help, and God help me, love.
Today when I was helping him, I felt that familiar twisting in my stomach, the one Foreman used to tease me about having. My stomach felt like I was back in the pool practicing my flip-turns when I had had too much to eat.
And I know I gave him 'the look.' The look that says I am yours for the taking. Everything I feel is evident in my eyes, and I have never been able to hide anything from him. Or anyone else for that matter. Even Stacy knew. I am sure he saw 'the look' too because he could hardly make eye contact with me. House has never been able to handle raw emotion, and what I feel for him is as real as it gets.
Everyone thinks how I feel about him is akin to a six-teen year olds crush on her brother's friend. But if people believe Stacy loved him, why can't they believe I do? What is the difference? That I married a cancer patient? Does that mean I don't love? I think it just means that I can love despite an unusual set of circumstances. And House is nothing if not unique. What I feel is just as real, and potent, and, at times, heart wrenching, as the love any other person feels.
I don't draw "Greg and Allison Forever," with a heart around it, or, "Cameron and House," for that matter. And I know I can't steal his tennis ball and perform the love spell that that my niece showed me in one of her teeny bopper magazines the a few months back. I am old enough to know that will only end up with me on the Psych Ward for instability.
Damn! How'd the little sneak even know about House and his tennis ball? She had to have read my journal. I wonder how many other family members she told that I fantasize about my boss. This could make the holidays interesting this year.
But about that tennis ball…Why can't it be me that he likes that much? Yeah, he likes to mess with me, mess with my head, my emotions, everything, but he doesn't like me. I am too human for him. I feel things.
He hides his head in the sand when it comes to the "L word." He has no problem with sarcasm, spite, and anger, but when it comes to, I don't know…LOVE? He handles it as well as any twelve year old boy would. Hell, they might handle it better.
I am crazy about him none the less. My eyes wonder to him of their own accord and my mouth goes dry when he comes too close. I don't know how to stop it and I am not sure I want to.