AN: Okay, here's chapter 5! And thanks go out to ChildOfTheMoon122 for all the lovely reviews (I loveses you!) As for the rest of you...I haven't gotten a word! I mean, I KNOW other people are reading this and some of you even fav'd it and/or put it on alert. But no reviews? What's up with that?
His Devotion
And no one else has
ever shown me how
To see the world the way I see it now
Oh, I,
I never saw blue like that
Santa Fe is more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. It's like everything has this warm orange hue. Such a strange feeling to be able to go outside without a coat in the middle of November and not be cold.
As I sit with my notebook in my lap, I can't even bring myself to write a single word. My mind is a blank. I'm actually relieved when the phone rings.
Sighing, I quickly make my way over to it. "Saved!" I have no idea who I thought would hear it, but the word escapes my lips anyway. As I pick up and hear the voice on the other line, I'm not surprised at all.
"Hey, Roger!"
"Mark, I called you ten minutes ago..."
"I know..." Over the past two weeks I've learned that over the phone, Mark becomes even more awkward than usual. It's worse than when he first moved into the loft. "It's just...quiet here, that's all."
I fiddle impatiently with my wallet chain. "It's always quiet there. It never bothered you before."
"This is different." I hear him shifting and I can imagine him biting his lip. "So...what's new?"
I start rattling off details in mock excitement. "Oh, well after I called you my coffee had gotten cold and since I didn't have milk for my cereal I poured my coffee on it just to see what it tasted like. Terrible, by the way. Don't try it. Ever. Then I stubbed my toe on the way back to the couch and I think I might have gotten a splinter. Then I tried to write for a while aaannnddd...you called me. Other than that, things are exactly the same as when we spoke last."
I hear him whimper slightly. Child. The line goes silent, but after a few moments I hear him shifting again. You'd think he was about to ask me to prom or something.
"You know...Mimi's getting out of rehab soon. She's doing really well. You should come see her." He tries to conceal his hopefulness, but I see right through it.
My eyes fall back to the discarded notebook. "I don't wanna see her right now." Not until it's finished.
"Oh. Okay. Hey, so Collins should be home around Christmas and-"
"Mark." I cut him off. I let out another sigh. "Look, I'll let you know whe-...if I come back." I catch my mistake and hope he didn't notice.
"Alright." He sounds so disappointed. "Bye." I hang up without another word. I immediately regret it...he sounded so lonely.
I walk back to the couch and look out the window. Here you can see miles and miles of sky. It's a beautiful shade of dark blue...
My mind goes back to that night over a year ago, when Mark and I looked at the sky together and suddenly it hits me: he's alone. Mimi's in rehab. Collins is god-knows-where teaching. Maureen, well, she never could think of anyone but herself. And Joanne's probably too busy trying to keep up with her plus her work. Angel's...gone. And I'm here.
I abandoned him. After everything he's done for me, the one time he needs me I run like a little bitch to the other side of the country just because I had a fight with my girlfriend. Then when he calls me, I'm bitter and sarcastic when he's done nothing wrong. I'm such a fucking asshole.
I quickly grab my guitar and notebook, slinging my bag over my shoulder as I walk out the door and head for the bus station.
I can't wait to see the look on his face.