Turning point - that's the best way to describe this chapter.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and I pray that the New Year will be blessed for everyone.

MAN OF SORROWS

CHAPTER 20

He made as though he were about to move from the couch. Christine could see the pent up frustration and pain in him, and only wanted to rid him of all of his burdens.

"Erik…please…I want to hear about her."

He would not look at her; his eyes remained cast downward…looking at his hands.

"It's not the love story you think it is." He finally whispered, sounding distant and aloof.

The time was ticking away and the clock now read 9:47. Christine was not ready to let him go; he didn't have to tell her anymore, not now…but he wasn't leaving…not yet.

His hands rested on his thighs and Christine sensed that he needed a woman's compassionate touch. She reached toward his long, tapered fingers and grasped his hand in hers.

"Erik, I know it is no secret that I am more than interested in you."

His eyes lifted and his brow furrowed.

"I admit that is started out as an infatuation with a man I had admired for years; and whose mysterious life intrigued me – but that man is merely an echo of who you really are."

She raised his fingers to her mouth and kissed each knuckle with tender sweeps of her lips.

Erik's breath hitched in his throat and he swallowed with great difficulty. When had a kiss on the knuckles been so intensely erotic?

"Christine…"

His voice was husky and emboldened with a sensual rasp that Christine was certain represented the deep passion this man held within him.

She scooted in closer to him, still holding his hand in hers. He was sitting on the couch, with his legs crossed, but as she scooted closer, he turned toward her.

She was within inches of his face and she could see the light dancing in his eyes. The hesitant and insecure man within him suddenly disappeared and the confident and affirming man surfaced.

He pulled her small frame into his chest and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. His other hand shimmered across her cheek, feeling the softness contained within its porcelain beauty.

"I don't think I've ever felt anything as soft as your skin…" he buried his nose in her hair and slowly took in the fresh scent, "…or smelled anything as fragrant and enticing as your hair."

She tilted her head up and bathed his face with her eyes. He had become everything to her in a matter of a couple of weeks.

His large, articulate hand pushed through her hair, allowing the auburn tresses to filter though his fingers with slow, maddening determination.

She closed her eyes at the sensual feel of his fingers on her scalp and neck.

She knew she was being bold and forward, but she didn't care. She eased toward his lips with determined steadiness, and then he did the strangest thing…

"May I remove your glasses?"

Christine smiled and quizzically looked at him.

"The color of your eyes is so unusually beautiful and intense; I find that I must see them without the hindrance of your glasses."

She nodded and Erik carefully pulled the glasses from her eyes. He softly traced the ridge of her eyebrows with his fingers and ran his thumbs across her cheekbones.

"Exquisite."

His mouth gently claimed hers in a soft, promising kiss. As quickly as he had touched her, he pulled away.

"Forgive me; that was a bit unexpected."

Christine didn't let him go anywhere; instead, she pressed close to him once again.

"I'm certainly not complaining."

She remained within his embrace and lifted her eyes to his sensuous mouth. She moved her fingers across the soft surface of his lips, and then wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled his mouth to hers. Just the feel of his lips upon hers made her body grow moist with anticipation.

He was timid against her at first, but her soft, accepting moan urged him on. He pulled her tighter against his hard body and enjoyed the feel of her in his arms. He answered her moan with one of his own, as her velvet tongue teased the surface of his lips.

He opened to her and she moved within him, engaging his tongue in an erotic dance that had his loins on fire. Loraine had never explored his mouth like this; and never would have dreamed of allowing him to explore hers. Her kisses, although loving and tender, hadn't been fueled with the raw, uninhibited passion that he was feeling from Christine's kiss.

Somehow, Erik found himself pinned to the couch with Christine atop him. She fused against his hard-angled form as though sculpted to fit there. Her thigh rested against the most rigid part of his body and Erik immediately broke the kiss and gently moved her from him.

"She never kissed me like that." He said breathlessly - more to himself than Christine. He touched his lips to savor the feel and taste of her.

His eyes found hers in the subdued lighting and he could see the same desire burning in hers that he knew was burning in his own.

"Watch a movie with me…" Christine whispered, still not wanting him to go.

He smiled at her persistence and agreed.

"You pick." He insisted.

"What if I pick a chick flick?"

"I trust that you won't." He teased.

Christine put in Pirates of the Caribbean, and they sat quietly; cuddling on the couch as the movie played.

♫♫♫

Erik had not watched a movie in years, and found that this one was whimsical, comical, and well written.

They spent the first hour commenting on aspects of the movie and Erik teased Christine mercilessly about Orlando Bloom; feigning his irritation with a jealous tone.

"He's the only reason you watch this movie isn't he?"

Christine rolled her eyes and scoffed loudly.

"I think not, to much of a boy toy…I go more for the ruggedly handsome, highly eclectic, hopelessly eccentric, very masculine type…" she teased with a haughty lift of her chin, "…that would be Johnny Depp."

"The pirate?" He inquired. "But the other guy is the hero...I guess I thought most women preferred the knight in shining armor."

Erik was intrigued.

"Why him?"

Christine smiled broadly and leaned into his warm, very masculine body.

"Oh, let's see…" she fanned her fingers through his thick hair, "…he's dark..." she moved from his hair to his sculptured cheek – which was sporting a five o'clock shadow - "…he's all man…" she dropped her eyes to his enticingly sexy mouth and ran her thumb over the surface of his upper lip, "…and he's just this side of dangerous."

Erik could feel his heart pounding frantically from the contact she was making. He had longed for a woman's touch all these years, but had thought to never have it again.

"Knights in shining armor are great, I suppose; but I prefer the tainted hero who has to fight his darker nature to prove himself worthy - his armor is a bit chinked and he doesn't always do things by the book - but he's a hero non the less."

They continued to stare deeply into each others eyes and Erik got the distinct impression that she was talking about him; somehow, he had become her hero - chinked armor and all.

He slowly, maddeningly lowered his aching lips to hers and caressed their softness with his own. He sought no more than a brief touch, but that one instant sealed his fate.

He placed similar kisses at each corner of her mouth and then silently begged entrance as he skimmed his warm tongue across the surface of her lips.

She moaned and opened to him; wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. The kiss was loaded with unreleased passion and Christine knew he had not yet yielded to her completely.

They reluctantly turned their attentions back to the movie and continued to watch with divided interest.

He enjoyed the feel of Christine's warm body nestled within the cocoon of his arm, and he could smell the fragrance of her body soap and her shampoo as she reclined against him.

About half way through the second part of the movie, Erik realized that she had dozed off and had pleasantly cuddled against him, completely oblivious to the intimate picture they made.

Watching her in the muted light and realizing that he longed for her, sent a rush of panic through him. What if his past did more than just haunt him…what if it repeated itself and Christine paid the price?

He had fought that battle and the results had been rewardingly favorable; but the devil's work was never done.

He tenderly lifted a still slumbering Christine into his arms and smiled sadly, as she turned her face into his chest and moaned softly against him.

He carried her into what he knew to be her bedroom and gently put her on the bed. He pulled her shoes from her feet and then placed the comforter over her. He lingered only a moment and placed a soft kiss upon her upturned lips before he stood.

He could not do this. The image of Loraine's broken and charred body came hurling down on him with great force and Erik knew he could not risk having another woman he loved end up that way; the chance was always there.

A lonely tear crept down his unmasked cheek and Erik felt the hope Christine had placed in his heart slowly fade away under the weight of reality.

He wanted this, with every fiber of his being; he wanted it. He knew what he had to do, despite the fact that Christine would be confused and hurt by his actions, he had to do it; he had to ensure that his demons were indeed confined.

He found a pad of paper and a pen by the phone and wrote the words that could very well cause Christine to despise him.

Darling Christine,

The time I have spent with you has been the most rewarding and enchanting time that I have had in years. I have felt things with you that I thought had died with Loraine; know this, you have stolen my heart and I shall never want it back.

However, I cannot risk being with you - not yet. I must ensure that I am free…free to be the man that I know you deserve and that I know resides within me…buried beneath layers of uncertainty and grief.

By the time you read this, I will be on my way to Rome. I do not know how long I will be gone, but I will return – Lord willing – as soon as I have the answers I seek.

The rest of my story explains why I must go…please ask Evie.

I do love you Christine, I never thought it would happen again, but it has. When I return, and should you still look at me the way you did tonight, I will be the man you deserve; the man I locked away, long ago.

Yours Forever,

Erik

TBC