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Chapter 5

"So you really had a bad childhood huh?" Kaitlyn said looking through a rack of clothes that was marked fifty percent off. She loved knock offs as much as she loved designer clothes. Hell, she just loved clothes.

"No not really," Taylor said shaking her head as she tried on hats. "I mean a bad childhood is like Ryan's. Mine was just unemotional."

"I guess," Kaitlyn said smiling when she found one she liked. "But I still think yours sounded pretty bad too."

"It wasn't good," Taylor admitted putting a wall up to block some of the more horrible memories. "My mom is more Drill Sergeant than Mom."

"Sounds like some of my teachers back at boarding school," Kaitlyn said making a face. "In fact I think some of them were Drill Sergeants before becoming teachers."

"Well anyways," Taylor said after she was done laughing. "I never knew I was missing anything until I started hanging out with Seth and Summer. They made me see what I was missing."

"Did you really think of Marissa that way?" Kaitlyn asked quietly. She didn't like talking about Marissa much, unless she was talking with her Mom. She hadn't known Marissa very well and she didn't like admitting that to anybody, not even to herself. Plus she'd tried talking to Summer about Marissa and that had resulted in nothing except tears and an idolized version of her sister. She knew Marissa hadn't been perfect.

"I did," Taylor said honestly. "She had the same best friend since grade school. Your parents adored her." Taylor walked over to the mirror to look at the hat. "And she had guys falling for her with just one look."

"Perfect," Kaitlyn muttered hating that she was feeling jealous of her sister.

"Oh no, your Mom was right, she wasn't perfect," Taylor said shaking her head. "She had a tendency to over dramatize things. She was always looking for the easy way out and I often thought that she believed the world revolved around her and her clique."

"But you wanted to be her," Kaitlyn said getting confused.

"I did," Taylor said again. "Mostly because of her friends and family. It was all so easy for Marissa or at least it looked like it was. I would love to have my life be easy just for a day."

"Do you think Marissa would still be alive if Ryan had never moved here?" Kaitlyn asked the one question she couldn't ask anybody else. They'd get mad at her for even suggesting that Ryan not be in Newport. But she wasn't saying she wished he'd never come. She just wanted to know if maybe his coming here had changed Marissa from who she was.

Taylor stared at Kaitlyn. They'd been shopping for almost an hour and Taylor had been treating Kaitlyn like they were best friends but the reality was she was a teenager. A young one at that and she was obviously dealing with the same thing Summer and Ryan were dealing with…Marissa. Kaitlyn didn't make it obvious that she cared but looking at her right now, you could tell.

"No, I don't," she finally said softly. "All the things that happened to Marissa, wasn't because of Ryan. Your Dad's problems, Luke and Tijuana. That all still would have happened and if Ryan hadn't been there…well you know." Taylor walked over to Kaitlyn and gave her a hug. "If anything, I think Ryan being here kept her here longer. He was constantly saving her."

Kaitlyn watched as Taylor wiped a tear from her eye before heading over to the shoe display. She couldn't believe she hadn't noticed that Taylor liked Ryan. The guy she liked but didn't notice her, of course it was Ryan. He was obviously still obsessed with Marissa and couldn't see Taylor.

"How long have you liked him?" Kaitlyn asked following her.

Taylor closed her eyes. Now another person knew and she didn't want to turn and see the pity in Kaitlyn's eyes. It was bad enough that every time Seth and Summer looked at her you could see that they felt sorry for her. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"I'm fifteen, not five," Kaitlyn said rolling her eyes. "How long have you liked Ryan? Since he moved here…before the accident." Kaitlyn's eyes opened wide in shock. "Is that why you were jealous of Marissa?"

"No," Taylor said shaking her head as she whipped around. "Or at least if I did like him, I didn't let myself admit it." She smiled as she remembered the day she felt the attraction for Ryan for the first time. "It was less than a week ago that my eyes got opened by Ryan himself. He kissed me."

"He what!" Kaitlyn said surprised. If Ryan wasn't noticing her, why was he kissing her?

"Oh he only did it so I could get my divorce," Taylor said smiling sadly. "But as soon as he walked away, after the best kiss of my life mind you, I knew. He is so…Ryan. I don't know how to describe him."

"Marissa said it was the bad boy thing," Kaitlyn said remembering a long ago conversation she'd had over the phone with Marissa.

"He's not really the bad boy though," Taylor said shaking her head. "I mean, he use to be but now he's actually a great boy…err man."

"But he doesn't see you," Kaitlyn said beginning to feel bad for Taylor. It wasn't her fault she liked a guy that was still in love with her dead sister. God their lives sounded like a stupid soap opera.

"No he sees me," Taylor said. "But he sees me as another person that needs to be rescued. That doesn't know her own emotions. Plus I'm really weird if you didn't guess in the last week, and that sorta scared him off."

"You…weird," Kaitlyn said rejecting that idea. "Taylor, you are not weird. I'll give you strange but weird is why Ryan loved Marissa after all the drama she put him through."

"It's love Kaitlyn," Taylor said trying to explain something she herself didn't understand. "He loves her." She walked away then off to buy the hat.

Kaitlyn stood there wanting to go over to Ryan's and smack him upside the head. He was so stupid to be fixating on Marissa. She looked over at Taylor who was staring off into space with this pathetic lost look in her eyes. She was making Kaitlyn depressed just watching her. Somebody was going to have to do something.

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"So red tie or green tie?" Seth asked Summer holding them up so she could see.

"Uh…your Mom will kill you if you wear either," she said while flipping through the latest Cosmo.

"C'mon, it's festive," Seth said looking at the red tie, which was covered in a Surfing Santa and then the green one, which had reindeer all over them.

"While I'm not dancing with you if you wear either one then," Summer said rolling her eyes.

Seth made a face but went and put both ties away. "It's your fault for telling her we would go. I don't want to get into the whole rules thing again…mainly because I don't feel like having you beat me again. But we really need to talk about what parties are acceptable and which ones are not."

"Your Mom asked me Cohen," Summer said sitting up. "I couldn't say no, she looked so excited about the party."

"It's going to be lame," Seth warned walking back out of his closet.

"No it won't," Summer said smiling. "Taylor and Ryan are going to be there and it's going to be so fun trying to get them together."

"Problem," Seth said sitting down beside her. "Ryan's not going, he told Mom this morning."

"He has to go!" Summer cried out. "How else can I make up for that stupid lunch?"

"By leaving them alone," Seth replied lying down. He hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the night before. He'd been too busy worrying about Summer. He'd thought she had been moving on and dealing with Marissa but it was starting to look like she'd just buried it.

"I can't do that," Summer said softly When Seth didn't say anything she continued. "I miss Marissa so much Seth. She was more of a sister than a best friend. Taylor will never replace Marissa but she's been a good friend to me. I want to do this one thing for her."

"But Ryan isn't ready," Seth pointed out.

"I'm not saying they have to get married but couldn't he give her a chance. Go on a couple dates to see if it could possibly evolve into anything," Summer explained.

Seth sighed. "I get what you're saying Sum but until Ryan wants that, there's nothing we can do."

"Of course there is," Kaitlyn said walking into Seth's room. "Nice room Cohen." She looked at Captain Oats and Princess Sparkle and laughed. "Real cute."

"Princess Sparkle is not mine," Seth said quickly but then he thought of something else. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to Summer but turns out, I can talk to both of you," she said sitting down on the beanbag chair in his room.

"So you were eavesdropping," Summer said smiling.

"It's the only way you find out anything interesting," Kaitlyn said shrugging her shoulders. "But anyways, I just came from a shopping trip with Taylor and let me tell you, we need to help her."

"No we don't," Seth said starting to worry that two girls were starting to gang up on him.

"Yes we do," Kaitlyn and Summer said together.

"What's your plan?" Summer asked interested. Kaitlyn was smart for her age. Not book smart but people smart.

"Find her a date for tonight," Kaitlyn said smiling.

"Uh…that's it," Seth said after a moment of silence had gone by. "Nice try Kaitlyn but she wants Ryan and he isn't about to offer to be her date."

"I know that," Kaitlyn said slowly talking to him as if he was an idiot. "If we just bring a guy that is hot to the party for her, she will feel obligated to spend the night with him. It's been bred into her that she has to be the nice obedient girl. That in turn will either make Ryan jealous or she'll be attracted to this guy."

"Not bad," Summer said smiling. "You are definitely Julie Cooper's daughter."

"I know," Kaitlyn said proudly. She may not always get along with her Mom but she knew a strong, confident, sexy woman when she saw one. She planned to be just like her when she grew up.

"What guy?" Seth asked deciding to play the martyr still. "Besides, she could just be Roger, that's the last guy she tried to use to make him jealous."

"He's gay," Summer and Kaitlyn said together.

"How do you know this?" Seth asked confused.

"It's so obvious," Kaitlyn said smiling.

"And besides, I found him in my bed with another guy," Summer said shuddering. "That's why I had to change my sheets before I'd go to bed the night of the party."

"I thought that was because Taylor had been sleeping in there," Seth said.

"Nope," Summer said patting his knee.

"I have a guy but he's older by more than a couple years," Kaitlyn offered when they couldn't come up with any other guys. "He's my-was my tennis instructor."

"Is he hot?" Summer asked curiously.

"Of course," Kaitlyn said smiling. "If my opinion was the only one that mattered, I'd say he was hotter than Ryan."

"Oohh," Summer said smiling back at her. "Go call him and do whatever you have to do to get him to be her date. I'm going to go take care of Taylor telling her about his guy who really needs a smart, sexy date like her to take to the party." Summer stood up and turned to face Seth. "You need to go and get Ryan to go to this party."

Seth watched as Summer left his room muttering under her breath and Kaitlyn talked, more like flirted on her cell phone with this mystery guy. He took a deep breath before he got up and made his way down to the pool house. He had no idea how he was going to convince Ryan to go. He was going to need a Chrismukka miracle.