MAN OF SORROWS
CHAPTER 28
"What do you suppose they're doing right now?"
Evie stared at Meg as though she had sprouted a second head and then looked over at Rafe and responded.
"Well, it's 8:30 – knowing Erik as I do – they're probably gazing at the stars or listening to music – or both."
Julius chuckled at that statement, "You're probably right…he loves to watch the stars."
Rafe sat quietly and watched the other three exchange opinions. He had taken Christine's advice and had let Meg know that he was there for her, should she need him.
He knew she needed her space, and he had every intention of giving her that space. The past few days had revealed their mutual need of each other, and Rafe prayed that it went deeper than that.
"Where did he take her?" Rafe asked, truly interested.
Evie smiled at Meg and then looked at Rafe again, "He booked the largest cottage at White Barn Inn in Maine…it's romantic and secluded…it's perfect."
Rafe knew that Evie was dropping hints to him, and he understood that he needed to spend more time wooing Meg instead of pursuing her. He had her attention, now he needed to secure her love.
Evie had explained the greater part of Erik's past to them both, which made them understand him much more.
"How does he think of these things…I mean, I could wrack my brain for hours and never come up with anything as remotely perfect as what he did."
Rafe was stunned at the way Erik had captured Christine in only a few dates, when he had been dating Meg for almost a year and still was unsure of her deepest feelings for him.
"You can't miss those defining moments, Rafe…they only come along once in a blue moon – when they do, make the most of them."
Julius looked from Rafe to Meg, and then back to Rafe. He finally settled his eyes on Evie and cleared his throat.
"Thank you for having us over, Meg…it's getting late and we really must be going."
Evie took the hint and knew that Meg and Rafe needed some alone time.
"You'll tell me if you hear from Erik or Christine, right?" Meg asked.
Evie smiled and kissed her on the cheek, "You know I will."
The room seemed so much smaller after they left and Meg felt the awkward charge in the air.
"Rafe…what's bothering you?" She finally asked.
He moved over to her and took her hand. He pulled her behind him and walked toward the couch. They sat down, and Rafe gnawed on his bottom lip while gathering the nerve to speak.
"Meg, this whole business with Christine and Erik has me thinking…" he turned and faced her on the couch, pulling one leg up underneath him and leaving the other to rest on the floor. "…what do we mean to each other?"
Meg abruptly lifted her eyes and quizzically connected with his pained ones. She had avoided this subject the entire time that they had been dating – hoping to never have to discuss it.
"Rafe…" Her voice was evasive, but Rafe would have no part of it.
"Don't do it, Meg…don't avoid me or…." He dropped his eyes and couldn't help the broken tone that invaded his voice, "…think that this is going to go away."
Meg swallowed hard and felt tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.
"I want more than what you've been giving me…and I don't mean physically – it's never been about that."
Rafe was frustrated and Meg knew it. They had never done anything more than kiss and hold hands, but Rafe wanted her heart.
She opened her mouth, expecting sound to come out, but nothing came. She examined his features while his face was turned, and could see the finality written all over it.
"Rafe…" the tears spilled over, "…I don't know if I can be what you want me to be."
Rafe watched the tears creep down her cheeks and reached his hand up to wipe them away; his heart was weeping in the same manner.
"Meg…all I'm asking for is the chance to be something more to each other than just date companions."
She smiled at his words, knowing that she had said them when they had first started seeing each other.
"We past that stage a long time ago….I love you."
He'd finally said it, and Rafe realized how good and liberating it felt. She looked at him with what he knew to be her understanding of love for now, and his spirits lifted.
"It scares me, Rafe…loving someone – being everything to someone – to the point that your lives become one…what happens when that person isn't there anymore?"
Rafe cupped her cheek with his palm and leaned into her, his warmth lent her a tiny spark of courage and she rested her forehead against his.
"I'm sorry, Rafe…I never wanted to show you my cowardliness."
Rafe smiled and ran his thumb along her cheek, enjoying the softness of her skin.
"I don't think you're a coward, Meg…just cautious; and I understand that."
He lifted her chin and placed a lovingly tender kiss upon her sweet mouth.
"I'm not going to turn into your father, Meg…please understand how much I love you."
Meg smiled through her tears and threw herself into his arms. Her quiet tears coated Rafe's heart and he knew he would do anything to protect her from the cruelties of the world.
"We only have one moment, one lifetime, to find the joy that is waiting for us…" he pulled her back and once again caressed her cheek, "…you're my joy, Meg….let me be yours."
Meg gently pulled his mouth to hers in a sweet, claiming kiss that left Rafe with no doubt that she loved him…even if she was fighting the reality of that love.
"You're a good man, Rafe Chaucer; most men would have thrown their hands in the air and declared me a lost cause by now, but not you."
Rafe smiled and wound his arm around her shoulders, pulling her toward his warmth.
"I couldn't let Christine be the only one finding true happiness…now could I?"
Meg giggled and settled against him with a familiar ease.
"She is happy, isn't she…and Erik…" Meg whistled, "…what a gorgeous man."
Rafe tickled her sides and then stole a kiss.
"So…you think Erik's gorgeous…?"
Meg saw the green monster of jealousy dancing playfully in Rafe's eyes and could not stop the pleased laugh that came from her.
"Jealous?" She teased, "Don't be…he belongs to Christine…body, heart, and soul."
She pulled him into another passionate kiss, leaving Rafe no doubt of as to where her heart rested.
She broke the kiss, reluctantly, and smiled up into Rafe's boyishly handsome face.
"I do love you, Rafe…just bear with me through this rough patch…" she saw him smile and her heart lit up, "…I promise it will be worth it."
"I know it will be...I'm not asking you to give up anything." Rafe assured her, "I want to support your career in every way."
"You are alright with the idea of my being a model; internationally?"
Meg's eyes were large and searching, thinking she would find evidence of Rafe's uncertainty - but there was only unwavering love looking back at her.
"Are you kidding! I am eager to travel the world with you...that is..." he smiled broadly and caressed her cheek with his thumb, "...if you'll have me."
"But what of your career, Rafe...I don't expect you to give up everything and travel the globe with me."
He shook his head and smirked; his shoulders shook with a chuckle and he lifted his smiling face to hers.
"You just don't get it, do you?" He continued to smile and Meg could have sworn she saw tears in his eyes. "I'm not giving up anything, if I have a life with you."
With that said, Meg was certain he captured what remained of her tattered heart.
TBC