AN: Thanks for all the helpful reviews guys; they all helped me get this chapter out. Sorry that I couldn't update as soon as I said I would, but I had a lot more trouble with portraying them this time around. Hope you enjoy the chapter, and this time I have no guarantee when the next chapter will come out, I wouldn't want to go back on my words.
When Natsuki awoke to the ticking of the old grandfather clock in the empty room, she stared at the blank white wall for a full three minutes, thoughts flashing at such a pace her head began to pound.
What am I doing here? Where did Shizuru go? Why did I come back here in the first place? What was I looking for? Did I actually think I'd find it? Will I still look for it? Where is Shizuru, anyways? Did she leave me in the house alone? What if sh-
"Natsuki?"
Her body had never moved any faster, she sprang from the bed, the springs squeaking in protest at the body pressure that pressed so heavily against it. Standing, she groped at the air at her sides waiting for the familiar feel of solid small metal guns to materialize.
It was quiet when Natsuki actually took the time to look at the person whom had called her name.
"S-Shizuru."
The name rolled of her tongue, eyebrows raised in surprise and in slight humiliation.
Feeling foolish, Natsuki sat herself back down on the bed, quickly glancing quietly up at Shizuru. The two of them stayed like that, Natsuki seated on the bed with its rumpled sheets and pillows strewn about, and Shizuru who continued to stand in the doorway, staring at Natsuki with an unreadable expression worn on her face.
"I made breakfast."
Blinking in surprise, Natsuki glanced up at Shizuru, who wore an expression she couldn't quite decipher. She was smiling yes, but it looked so wrong on her face. It looked as if some child had taken a marker and messily drew a smile on her face. A smile that was messily and drawn in a rush, a smile that did not belong against an image that was as perfect as Shizuru's.
Natsuki mentally searched for the words to say, ever since that thing happened, talking to Shizuru felt like playing a game of Scrabble. She would always have to plan the right words to use, afraid of picking one that will bring up the very thing she was trying so hard to avoid. But before Natsuki had even managed to scrounge up the right words to say, Shizuru walked closer. Quickly closing the distance between the two, she stood in front of Natsuki, towering over her sitting form.
Her burgundy brownish red eyes pierced deep in to Natsuki's bright emerald green, her face distorted to such extremes that it had forced Natsuki to remind herself that this was the same girl who was crying in her arms the night before. Those eyes continued to stare and Natsuki bit down the reflex to run or hide. Briefly she began to wonder if this was the face that the people at the First District were met with, on that day when Shizuru had so mercilessly cut through their weak and corrupted bodies.
And just as it began, Shizuru turned around and walked out of the room, her voice drifting from the hallways drifting farther and farther away from Natsuki.
"I made breakfast."
Natsuki continued to sit there, baffled and slightly agitated at how cryptic and strange Shizuru was acting. Maybe her behavior was to be expected though, after all, shouldn't they both act as awkward and forced as their conversations were? Was there any point in pretending to be the former shells of themselves?
She stood and began to walk after Shizuru, they were in the same house for god's sakes, it would be inevitable that both of them interact eventually, and it was foolish to even try to avoid one another. After all, this felt like a game now. With both of them trying to leave the endless maze that they were forced in to, wanting to meet at the exit, but finding the faux bodies and shells of each other, confused if this was the real form of their bare and wanting souls.
Shizuru sat at the kitchen table, slices of toast, bacon, and eggs adorning the said table. Natsuki stared at the food for a minute, before glancing up at Shizuru who continued to wear that mismatching smile. She felt like slapping her, or shaking her out of it. She wanted to yell at her, it wouldn't be that hard. She could imagine her form leaning over the table, her eyes staring coldly in to Shizuru's and her mouth forming the words she would regret even thinking of.
"Why. Why are you acting like this? It's only supposed to be me here, who is confused at your actions. I'm supposed to find out what happened, and what we do now, and you're supposed to continue being YOU. You're supposed to stand there and tell me why you did the things you did, and what fueled you there. You're not supposed to be like this, unfamiliar and cold. It's bad enough that I'm confused and lost, what the freaking hell makes you think it would help if you became just like me?"
But she didn't of course.
She sat silently in the chair across Shizuru and stared at her plate before taking a sip of water Shizuru had graciously poured for her. It was funny, really; they were in a perfect scene, a nice exchange between friends at the table with an American breakfast. It was a perfect scene in which Natsuki should have taken advantage of, and tried to mend the stitches of their friendship.
But she didn't of course.
The two of sat down and continued to eat, Natsuki biting her tongue from screaming out the words that beat dimly against the side of her head, and Shizuru who ate her meal politely, making sure no crumbs were dropped anywhere besides on her white plate. Nothing but the clinking of their forks and knives hitting against the plates were heard in the room, and Natsuki fumbled with her fork frequently, uncomfortable and feeling gawky and strange.
When the meal was finished, both girls silently cleaned the table. Gathering up the dishes on the sink, Shizuru proceeded to wash the dishes, her hands carefully washing the forks first. Natsuki watched with silent eyes when Shizuru scrapped her finger on the very same knife Natsuki had eaten with, and she did nothing but stand there and watch the drop of blood slide down her hand. Somewhere in the back of her head, questions knocked and thrashed around in her head, smashing against the walls of her mind and scraping its teeth against the floor.
Maybe she should say something.
Spontaneously grabbing Shizuru's bleeding hand, Natsuki began to wipe at the blood. Without realizing, she clutched tightly at Shizuru's soft hand, and began to laugh inwardly at the weird situation.
These same hands had done things for me that shocked me, scared me, and haunted my dreams and thoughts more then I'd ever like to admit. And yet, here I' am, cleaning the hand of its blood, blood that was shed for me.
She laughed aloud, her laugh sounding like everything but a cherry laugh. The notes were mocking and pained, as she held on more tightly on to Shizuru's hand.
"Isn't this funny Shizuru? Yes, this is funny. But it's also very painful. Yes. It's very painful."
Nodding as if to reassure herself, she stared up at Shizuru, and gained the courage to say the words she had wanted to say at the sight of Shizuru's confused eyes.
"Shizuru. What happens to us now?"
She dropped her hands back at her side, and stared at the small streaks of bright red that had now stained her clean hands.
"I don't know. Natsuki, I just don't know."
Smiling ruefully she shook her head, locks of deep blue hair shaking as she did so.
"Of course you don't know. Of course you don't."
The quiet began to engulf the pair again, but Natsuki welcomed it this time. Both of them were obviously confused and lost as to what they should do now. Did Shizuru hate her for straining this relationship?
"Shizuru do you hate me?"
The words flew out of her mouth before she even thought it over twice, and she blinked dubiously at her own question before staring straight at Shizuru for a response.
"No. I would never hate Natsuki. But should it not be I who asks the question instead?"
The question bit back at Natsuki, "Of course" the voice in her head chanted, "Shizuru would never hate you, never. But would you hate Shizuru?"
Would I hate Shizuru? Do I hate Shizuru? For all the things she did? For all the people she killed? Should I hate her for betraying my trust? Did she even really do that?
She tested the words against her head.
I hate you Sh-no. No I don't. I don't hate you at all. I could never hate you, even though I should for all the things you did. I have nothing but a deep feeling of regret that I can't decipher my jumbled up feelings for you.
"No. No Shizuru, I don't hate you. But I' am sorry."
Not asking why, Shizuru nodded in response, and the sound of running water began to fill their ears again, apparently both having had zoned it out somewhere in the midst of the conversation.
As Shizuru continued washing the dishes Natsuki felt a tug of reassurance pull at her heart.
We're getting better. We are getting better, right?
Stumbling out of the room, she paused in surprise as her small blue cell phone began to ring. Groping inside her jean pocket, she pulled out the sleek blue phone and stared at the blinking kanji of Mai's name. Flipping the cover, she pressed the phone against her ear and pressed her thumb on the "Receive" button.
"Hello?"
"Mou, Mikoto you just ate didn-Ah, hello? Natsuki?"
Natsuki sat herself down on a big black sofa in Shizuru's living room, and pressed the phone against her ear harder.
"Yeah?"
This was weird, Natsuki decided. Talking to Mai after a week felt weird, but she could not ignore the light pull at her heart that seemed pleased that Mai had not forgotten her existence.
Slightly narrowing her eyes, Natsuki strained to hear pleads and yelps of protests barking from the other line.
"Mikoto, I'll cook you something later, can't you see I'm a little bit busy right now?"
"But Mai, Mikoto is so hungry."
"Mikoto!"
Mai's exasperated sigh was heard briefly before Natsuki heard a door slam shut from the other line, presumably Mai closing her room door for privacy and peace.
"Anyways, Natsuki are you still there?"
"Yeah"
"Ah, sorry about that. Mikoto just ate ramen an hour ago but she's asking me to make some more, I have no idea how she maintains to be so skinny too."
Natsuki had often wondered the same thing, whenever she was present at the table when Mikoto would eat everything on sight, sucking up the crumbs and small bits she managed to miss. The small black haired, golden eyed girl always ate more then all the HiME's combined, and somehow miraculously manage to be one of the skinniest.
"It's been a while hasn't it? Since the last time we saw each other?"
Interrupted from her light musing, Natsuki found herself nodding in agreement, even though she knew Mai couldn't see it anyway.
"Yeah, it's been a while."
Both lines remained quiet for a while, both deep in their thoughts about the past few days. Breaking the silence, Mai's voice broke out, voice leaking out her optimism.
"Midori called last night, she thinks we need to bond, the whole group of us. I told her I might be booked this week, but she demanded me to go anyways. Honestly, that woman. I managed to convince everyone else to go, Nao was a bit troublesome but I pulled it off with some help."
This surprised Natsuki, Nao had actually agreed to go? She knew Nao wasn't one for social events, let alone with the same group of people who shouted death threats and harsh words at each other. But before Natsuki managed to ask Mai how she pulled that off, the orange haired girl pulled another question.
"So do you think you can bring Fujino-san and tag along? I know you don't like these social events either and stuff, but I sort of think Midori has a point. It'd be really sad if all of us drifted apart, even with all the…crazy stuff that happened, we should all try to heal our wounds together, right?"
Mai's warm voice echoed in Natsuki's head, and she wondered if Nao was put in this exact situation also.
"Besides Natsuki, its karaoke! Karaoke!"
Natsuki didn't have to be a brain surgeon to know that the word "karaoke" itself always managed to force that small satisfied smile on Mai's face.
"Okay. I'll go."
Once again, Natsuki managed to stare at her hand and blink in surprise at her own agreement. She opened her mouth to correct herself, but the damage was done. Mai's excited voice broke the silence that followed shortly after her agreement, and Natsuki lightly slapped her face with her free hand.
"Thanks for agreeing Natsuki; this means a lot to me and the group. Can you ask Fujino-san if she'd like to go also?"
Staring back behind the sofa, and in to the kitchen, Natsuki's eyes scanned the room and spotted out her friend, still cleaning the dishes.
"I…okay."
Nodding in approval, Mai flashed another small smile and replied.
"Thanks Natsuki, we all agreed to meet at the karaoke house at 7:30, you can make it right?"
"Yeah"
"Great, I'll see you and Fujino-san then!"
And with a click of her phone, Natsuki flipped her phone shut and watched her screen die out from the bright neon green to a dimming black.
Looking up from her spot on the sofa, she was greeted with the white ceiling and the sound of what she presumed, Shizuru turning off her faucet and drying her hands. She heard footsteps and knew that Shizuru had entered the living room.
"Shizuru"
Still staring at the wall, Natsuki tried to remain calm, and inwardly carefully worded her question.
"Mai wants us to go karaoke with the rest of the girls."
It was quiet again, and Natsuki deduced that the quiet was in all actuality quite loud. She felt she would rather have been present at a room filled with screaming and shouts, rather then face the quiet the two of them skillfully weaved together.
"I would like to go, but I' am afraid I made an arrangement with someone else on the phone just a few moments ago."
Natsuki was taken aback at her answer, and began to ask herself when Shizuru had managed to gather enough time to make a phone call.
"What time did Tokiha-san propose we meet?"
"7:30."
Natsuki ran her tongue over her top teeth and began to start flipping the top part of her phone, open and shut.
"I will be ending my meeting at 7:00 at most, so I think I can manage to make it on time."
Open. Shut. Open. Shut. Open. Sh-
"Okay."
Open. Shut. Open. Shut. Open. Shut. Op-
"I'm going to leave now; I told the man that I would meet him at 2:30."
2:30? What time was it?
Open.
Glancing down at her phone, her eyes widened in realization at the large black numbers flashed repeatedly on her screen.
"It's 2:00."
"I realized, Natsuki."
She swallowed and she continued to stare back up at the ceiling, and shut her phone again.
Open. Shut. Open. Sh-
Broken from her concentration, her hands paused at the middle of closing her phone, thumb still in between the two layers, and listened to Shizuru leave the room.
Her voice floated from the hall closet, and Natsuki heard Shizuru zip her jacket.
"I left my phone number on the kitchen table, so you can call me if there is an emergency. I am assuming you will stay here?"
"I…okay. I'll stay here."
Natsuki closed her eyes and strained her ears to hear the sounds of Shizuru's movement.
"Goodbye Natsuki."
Don't leave.
"Bye."
And when Shizuru closed the door and left, Natsuki straightened herself and stared at the blank T.V screen in front of her.
She surfed through the channels and killed some time, before she felt the persistent hands of sleep pulling her away, and she eventually fell asleep to the sound of the droning voices on the television.
AN: Phew, well that's chapter two folks. I'll be concentrating more on how Shizuru and Natsuki interact with the other girls, and how they interact as a whole. Thanks again to the reviewers and my beta DarkFeenix for all the help and support guys, it means a lot to me. (God I really wish let us use some blasted smiles.)