Title: Blame us cause we are who we are and hate us cause you'll never get that far

Author: alienangel19852003

Rating: M, language and adult situations

Summary: AU. Enter a world where Phil's the rebel, Pim's the well behaved proper girl. Keely's the shy girl, Seth Wassumer is the most popular guy in school. Owen's a closeted cheerleader and Keely's only friend.

A/N: Keely's sister Calliope, is of course AJ Michalka if you've read Falling Through at all, she has kind of cameo in that one. Chapter is rated a hard M for sexual content. Okay we'll I've introduced two familiar characters and I had a bit more of Owen in this one too, I hope you all enjoy it. Lyrics used come from Fall Out Boy and Lifehouse. Special thanks to all those who reviewed, a shout out to Aye Sea Turtles. I'm really glad that you can take away something special from reading this story, I guess I could have sent this in a PM but my computer takes up far too much time doing that. Thanks for writing such a long and insightful review I'm going to have to listen to that song. Next update on this might be a few days, or maybe a couple of weeks, it takes so long to upload this. I hope to have a new computer this time next month….or maybe sooner who knows maybe my parents will take pity on my nine hour shifts and help me out with the fundage. I hope they do I don't want to leave you wanting with this fic.

"Sleeping my way out of this one with anyone who will lie down"

Phil had never felt so broken in his life, without Keely he didn't feel whole. His entire foundation had crumbled, and no one really said anything about it. His mother saw him retreat further into himself during the first few days after the breakup she'd said nothing allowing him some space. There was far too much space between him and other people, mostly between him and Keely.

He knew she still loved him, but it hurt so much knowing that she didn't even try to fight for them, he understood her wanting to protect her sister, and he probably would have done the same for Pim, but fucking Bryce willingly? He didn't understand that, he spent hours trying to figure out what was going on in her head, he left notes in her locker but she never responded. There were times when he could feel her watching him in school, he would look up at her and see tears in her eyes, and he had to turn away, he couldn't feel sorry for her anymore, she was doing this to herself now.

He had taken up drinking again, and smoking all the pot he could clone, anything to take his mind off her. He didn't sleep and he barely ate for three whole weeks, he came to school drunk, but by some miracle managed to stay out of trouble.

He wouldn't really have a problem until lunch time, he would have thought Messerschmitt's class would be the one to break him sitting right beside her and being a world away, but lunch was so much harder he'd taken to sitting with Pim at lunch. Pim was mildly annoyed by his presence but neither of them spoke Pim ate her lunch or studied for exams and fought off the less than subtle advances of one of her classmates, the boy seemed harmless, although a bit to eager to pursue a relationship in Phil's opinion. Pim didn't date; she claimed she had no time to. He doubted she even knew that he was trying to get at her liked that. But Phil knew he was a guy, he could see the signs from a mile away and Little Danny sent off flares.

Phil liked Little Danny Dawkins his antics were amusing. He was even getting to Stonewall Pim. Seeing the two ninth graders and their burgeoning relationship didn't really take his mind off Keely, she was there three tables down with Owen, and some of his friends a bunch of girls from Swing Choir. She would look at him with a hungry desperate look on her face, and he would do the only thing he could do he would turn away.

He had taken to hanging out with Pim in the hallway, she'd let him know that his presence there was for the most part unwanted, but he still stood alongside her as she rummaged through her locker.

"Don't you have stuff you need to… I don't know… do?" Pim asked.

Phil took a long swig of his vodka that he'd cleverly poured into a Dasanti bottle.

"If you'd look in my palm pilot, my schedule says that I must annoy you before I head off to detention." Phil said.

He'd gotten detention for skipping gym daily, and surprisingly his mother didn't even blow a gasket. She still allowed him to keep his present day driver's license and his car, a blue and sliver Trans Am. He loved that car. It had been his dream, he'd seen one in an old video on MTV years ago in the future and he'd always wanted to go to a time where he could drive one like it.

Pim didn't have a smart remark to respond with her eyes were of in another direction. Phil followed her gaze to see Keely being mercilessly teased by Tara Schrader and her girls. He wanted to go over and help her, the two sides of him were at war he was still so mad about what she'd done.

Before he could decide Owen came to her rescue, squawking and jerking his neck while pointing a finger at Tara.

"She misses you, you know. She told me herself in gym the other day she was asking me about you." Pim said.

Phil had to take another sip on that one, "Who was asking about me?"

"Phil you know exactly who I'm talking about. It's Keely I think you should talk to her."

"Oh, Keely the cowardly slut? I don't think I know her." He tried to sneer but it turned to a twisted frown, he really didn't think she was a slut.

"Phil…you love that girl and you know it. She loves you too. Whatever's keeping you apart–"

"Is complicated."

"Love is too rare a thing to be complicated by people outside of it." Pim said reverently.

Phil looked at her like she'd grown another head that was definitely the last thing he expected to hear from Stonewall Pim.

"What in the hell do you know about love? You're too damn wrapped in school and politics to do anything about the boy who is madly in love with you." Phil said not really meaning to start out sounding so harsh.

"I know a lot more about it than you think, and how do you know I haven't done anything about Little Danny being madly in love with me? He is not madly in love with me. I mean he can't be… not with me…He's funny and nice and he has a lot of friends some of which are a lot prettier than me I might add. He doesn't love me he just wants to be friends." Pim said frowning, trying to grasp the concept of Little Danny being in love with her.

Little Danny strolled up before Phil could expound on the theory, and Pim blushed brilliantly just like she did every time the boy came around. Phil smirked and turned his attention elsewhere.

A girl he'd never seen was making her way down the main hall. She was pretty and very scantily clad, she made what Tara Schrader was wearing look like a nun's habit. Her dark hair bounced on her shoulders and her breasts bounced barely contained by the nothing of a low cut midriff shirt she was wearing as she stomped down the hallway her high pointed black boots clicked with every step.

He really noticed her legs, they weren't as long as Keely's they were short and shapely, like a gymnast's and they were encased in black fishnets which he followed with his gaze all the way up to her red micro mini skirt. Everyone was staring at her, Pim and Little Danny were positively gaping, and Tara seemed appalled that someone could get away with wearing that little before she did. Owen was whispering with the Swing Choir girls already getting the rumors started.

The girl seemed to ignore all of their attention but his; she strolled right up to him with a big smile on her face.

"Hello…" she said with a chipper English accent he found it extremely sexy.

"Hi…" he smirked.

"I'm new here my name is Via." She said.

They were having a little smirking contest, the halls were silent it seemed every gossip queen was listening to their conversation.

"I guess that's short for Olivia. I'm Phil, it's nice to meet you."

"Yes it is, I like Via better though." She paused for a smirk, "It's nice to meet you as well. Phil? Is that short for Phillip?" she smirked.

"Yeah, I like Via too, it definitely suits you."

She smiled, a real smile not a smirk, Phil was thinking of something else to say when their illustrious bald Vice Principal strode up to them.

"Miss Crowley, you cannot wear that to school dress code strictly prohibits such outfits. I'm afraid you'll have to either call home for more clothes or take it off and put on a PE uniform."

"Fine…" Via said grabbing the bottom of her shirt and pulling it over her head baring her breasts.

There was a gasp from the crowd when her pale pink topped twin globes were revealed. Phil really liked what he saw.

Vice Principal Hackett immediately took off his jacket to cover her and herded the smirking girl into his office. Phil really liked the impression she'd made. He couldn't have done much better himself.

Keely couldn't help but get a little jealous when she saw the brunette girl stride down the hall and make her way straight to Phil. She tried to convince herself she had not claims to him that she was the one who ended things between them, but it was much harder than it seemed.

She hadn't been shocked when she saw the two of them flirting. But when the girl took off her shirt right in front of Vice Principal Hackett that was plenty shocking. Keely saw how pretty the other girl was and how open she was with her sexuality, she had no doubt that Phil would stay single much longer.

Keely couldn't help but stare at the girl's body she knew Phil had to be taking notice as well. She wished she could be bold and more open but she was too afraid. Things with Bryce were still the same. She would come to him whenever he asked.

Calli wasn't speaking to her and Phil wouldn't even acknowledge she existed so her world was restricted to sex with Bryce and gossip with Owen. She had never felt more alone in her life. Pim occasionally talked to her while they warmed the bench in gym. It had been a lonely, lonely three weeks.

At first Phil tried talking to her. But she ignored him it had nearly killed her ending things with him the first time. She didn't want to be ripped away from him again. She moved through her days like a zombie. Occasionally feeing his sultry dark eyes stop on he she'd feel that familiar tingle. She wanted to be with him again to have him hold her and kiss her and do all those things that they'd never done together but it wasn't going to happen.

Keely sighed when the bell rang and she made her way to class. Ms. Feinstein's class was the same as ever boring and overdramatic. She could think of nothing more than Phil, and his eyes, lips, hands, and parts of him she'd never seen. She imagined having breasts like Via's or Tara's she wondered if he would like that.

Her thoughts were getting to her, as she drove straight home because her sister had play practice. One glance in the rear view mirror showed she was flushed and sweating with dilated pupils. Her eyes seemed greener than usual, her lips were redder. It only took a second for it to register what was happening to her. She was turned on. Thankfully, Bryce wasn't home otherwise she doubted she wouldn't have contemplated doing what she did. She went upstairs shrugged out of her flannel and pulled her black tank top over her head, unclasped her bra and removed it entirely.

She'd never done what she was doing, but she wanted–she needed to feel the way Phil had made her feel that day. She'd only had one orgasm ever, and that was with him. Bryce had brought her close during those less coerced and more black mailed times of late. But she didn't think she could do that with him. If she did it would mean that some part of her liked what he did to her.

Her fingers ghosted over already hardened nipples, swirling around teasing them with her fingertips. She moaned, the sensations she felt made her buck her hips she discovered that perhaps she should put her hand there or something.

Unsure of how to proceed, Keely unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans and slid her hand inside, whilst doing so she imagined it was Phil's hand and not her own. Gently she caressed herself; she had to buck her hips against her hand when her index finger brushed the little button that Phil had rubbed that day. She flicked her wet finger against it, finally getting the hang of what she was doing.

She rubbed and rubbed pinched and squealed not hearing the heavy footsteps on the stairs. She finally finished with a soft whimper. She lay there spent with her hand still trapped in her underwear and jeans.

"Keely, Keely, Keely…I must say that was quite a show." Bryce's voice floated in from the doorway.

Keely's eyes snapped open, and she heard him walk further into the room.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd be at the station until seven." Keely whispered.

"I wanted a break and good cup of coffee. So I took an hour off. And I come home to find you getting yourself hot for me." He said.

She could hear him taking off his belt, she was so ashamed she couldn't look at him.

"Take those jeans off and show me what you've done."

Keely sighed and complied with him.

Phil didn't see Via for another three days, it was Friday and he was serving his usual three hours in detention. Detention was alright it was just him holed up in a little room for three hours with Hackett coming to check on him every hour or so. If he had something better to do he might replicate himself, Hackett wouldn't know the difference.

He'd arrived early to detention about fifteen minutes or so. He'd gone out to his car and refilled his bottle of Dasanti with more vodka and quickly smoked a cigarette. He was sitting there with his feet on top of his desk grinding a pen into the same surface when the door swung open, he'd been expecting Hackett but there was Via. This time she was dressed a bit more appropriately in skin tight low rise jeans and a shirt that only showed off her lower stomach. Phil wasn't complaining she still looked sexy.

"Well, well, well we meet again." She said.

"So it is…" he said standing.

"Indeed. So how does this whole detention thing work exactly?" she asked.

"We sit here for three hours bored out of our minds, and then Old Baldy comes in and lets us go home." Phil explained.

"Hmmm…so I get to spend three hours in this room alone…" she paused stepping closer to him her intent clear from the smirk on her face, "With you?"

"Yes…" he put far too many s' at the end of that word and he'd come out sounding like a snake.

She laughed at him, "So Phil are you seeing someone now?"

"Not really," he said, "Although, technically speaking right now I am seeing you."

"I like that answer." She told him.

"How about this?" he asked kissing her hard, his hands cupping her ass and pulling her against him.

She kissed back reverently grinding her hips into him. He picked her up and put her on the desk his hands sliding up her sides straight up to her breasts.

She broke the kiss to whisper in his ear, "Can't say I didn't enjoy that but I bet you'll like this even better." she slipped her hand down the front of his jeans.

Phil groaned it had been ages since anyone had touched him. His mind was at war the only two thing he could think about were could think about was how wrong this was, he was in love with Keely fucking Via wasn't right. He also couldn't help thinking about how much his body needed this. He missed this, a nice good fuck, he finally reasoned with himself he might as well take it where he could find it.

She unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans caressing him slowly. While he worked to get her jeans off. Neither of them hesitated. Their brown eyes locked, there was no emotion, no longing, it was just lust. She stopped touching him and allowed him to remove her jeans, while she slid her shirt over her head.

Phil had to admit he liked her small curvy body, though he would still give anything to be here doing this with Keely. He kissed her hard, Keely was the last person he should be thinking about right now. He wondered if she thought about him when she did what she did with Bryce. As much as he tried not to feel horrible for Keely, he still did, wishing he could help her.

He had rough passionate sex with Via, it was difficult the keep her quiet, but he had to take pride in the fact that he must bee doing a good job. Via didn't seem like the type of girl who fake anything.

Hackett came in two hours later a little while after he'd finished and the sat there he was drawing a skull on the desk and she was filing her nails. Hackett suspected something but he didn't accuse. He left without a word. They drank the bottle of vodka he had and they talked.

"You aren't like the boys I'm used to back home. They don't fuck me a like that. Rather fond of going downtown but it's never like that." Via told him.

"Wait till there's more time. There's a lot I can show you." Phil smirked.

"Do you have your cellular, my dad took mine for the week because I got suspended, and then detention."

"Yeah…if you're calling for a ride, I've got a car. I can take you home."

"That would be nice Phil," Via smiled, "My father isn't do home for another couple of hours do you think you could show me around town?"

"I'm kind of new here myself but I think I might be able to." Phil said.

Keely didn't like the fact that Phil was spending all his time with Via the new girl. And in fact she hated it. They were all over each other the Monday following the strip tease in the hallway. This was all wrong, he should be kissing her like that. Not some British fem bot.

Keely was sitting alone in the courtyard during lunch when Owen came up.

"Girl…guess what I just heard."

"What? What did you hear?" Keely said knowing whatever he heard was from the fresh crop of rumors about Via and Phil.

"Phil is taking Via to Bruno's party on Saturday."

"I figured that. She is his lady friend. He is bound to take her out once and a while."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Owen, what do you mean do about it? What can I do about it?"

"Keely, I hate to say this but I've seen you with him. When you two are together it seems like you both come alive, you still want him. And I think you should try to win him back."

"He's not going to want me anymore." Keely whispered gazing at her hands, she was dirty and used why he would or anyone else want her.

She was sick and becoming sicker by the day. She found herself enjoying the time spent with Bryce. She hated her body's reaction to what he did to her. She was young and horny and just discovering her own sexuality and he took full advantage of that.

"I think he still might, why'd you break up with him anyways."

"I don't want to talk about that Owen. I'm going to go up to the music room." Keely said getting up and grabbing her orange off the table along with her books and storming back into the school.

This was all her fault she couldn't complain or be jealous she had no right to. Phil deserved to be with someone who could actually be with him, not someone who belonged to some psycho already.

She made her way upstairs to the music room which was just down from Ms. Levy's class. She saw Via sneak out of the bookroom and down to the stairwell. Keely stood there hurt and confused she didn't think that Phil would bring Via there for their liaisons it was their place. It was for Phil and Keely. Not Phil and Via.

Phil walked out just as Keely was passing and they bumped into each other. She knew it was him, but he hadn't seen her.

"Could you watch it chick?" he asked a bit harshly, before looking up.

"S–sorry…Excuse me." she said clutching her books to her chest and walking on down the hallway.

"Keely, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that." He said.

Tears stung in her eyes, "It's okay…"

"I know we haven't been as close as we used to be…"

"Phil…this is awkward. I–I'm gonna go, I've got stuff to do anyway."

"Is this about Via?"

Keely scoffed, "Like you don't know."

"Look you broke up with me…I can fuck whoever I want."

"So you're just fucking her?"

"Keely…" he sighed sounding exasperated, "I tried being in an actual relationship with you and look where it got me. Nowhere." Phil said.

A single tear slipped down her cheek she knew the floodgates had been opened, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Keely. I'm a free agent now, you fuck whoever you want."

"You think I want that?" she asked hurt.

"It seemed like it to me…but I can tell you a sure answer of whether you want it or not. Do you come for him?"

"What?"

"Do you?"

She looked at Phil she was never able to really lie to him, "Sometimes."

"You want it."

"Do you know how it makes me feel after? I feel sick and disgusting, because I like it. Yeah, I like it sometimes. I'm all the things you think I am sick, cheap, and disgusting." She said tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I don't think you're anything but weak. You could stop this if you wanted, and I'd even help you."

Keely didn't say anything, she stood there sobbing.

"It's all about choices Keel. The ones we make and the one's we don't." he said walking away from her.

"I'm too scared to choose." She whispered.

Keely went into the music room locked the door and cried; when she was done she didn't feel much better in fact she felt worse. Her head hurt and she was even running a fever. But she went on to class when the bell rang. She put her head on her desk in Ms. Feinstein's class and shut her eyes it was her last class of the day, if she could make it through that she could make it through anything.

She wasn't certain if she'd passed or simply fallen into a deep sleep, she could feel Owen shaking her hear him and Ms. Feinstein calling her. But she couldn't move finally she retreated into the darkness. When she woke up she was in the hospital.

She could hear Bryce yelling at Calli over on the other side of the room.

"Shut up all that damn crying, your sister is all right. She was just severely dehydrated. She'll wake up in a little while…"

"What happened?" she whispered her throat was really raspy and dry.

"You made yourself sick by not eating anything or drinking. That's what happened." Bryce said without an ounce of concern in his voice.

Keely looked down at the IV in her arm guiltily, she hadn't eaten in a few days, she'd meant to eat that orange but seeing Phil she kind of got sidetracked.

"Keely…I was so worried." Calli said.

"So you're speaking to me again?"

"Yeah I'm really sorry." Calli said.

"It's okay,"

Calli hugged her.

"You've lost a lot of weight since…." Calli trailed off and cut her eyes at Bryce if looks could kill he would have lost his head.

"You're going back to that house and you're going to eat whatever I put in front you. Don't let me have to come back down to this hospital again you hear me? Or you'll be rooming with your mother." Bryce said.

"I wasn't trying to get sick." Keely said.

"You are just an ignorant little slut who isn't good for anything but a fuck. Look they want to keep you overnight get some fluids and stuff into you. I've got to head back down to the station. Your sister and your Grandma Norma Jean are going to be here with you."

"Alright." Keely blinked back tears, she was so stupid she realized that now.

"Whoo!" Phil shouted tossing back the bottle of whiskey he kept one hand firmly planted on the steering wheel.

Bruno honked loudly from the car over, as the sped down the highway in the night. Phil smirked passed the bottle to Via, he missed fast times like these. This paled in comparison to all the dangerous stupid shit he'd done in the future. Try stealing a space bus and driving it drunk with twenty of your closest friends. The wind ripped through his hair. He felt wild and alive. He'd felt that way with Keely without the aid of alcohol, without Via's hand stroking him through his jeans, and without fast cars.

They were listening to some old school Motley Crue as loud as it would go and Via was laughing holding the bottle in one hand and now touching herself with the other. He watched her hand slid into her black plunging blouse she was watching him all the time. He gave a signal to Bruno and they pulled over by the windmill. He'd been out there several times since the breakup, hoping he'd run into Keely but he'd never gone with any of his new friends.

Alice DeLuca seemed to have the same plan as Via. She was already climbing in the backseat of Bruno's sports car. Phil turned off the engine and glanced over at Via. Who was sliding her panties down her legs.

Phil adjusted his seat so she could straddle him. She straddled him kissing him roughly when there came a tap on the car and a light shining in their faces. Phil found himself looking right into the eyes for Bryce, Keely's stepfather.

"You…" they both proclaimed at the same time.

"Coming back to your old haunts?" Bryce asked.

Phil laughed nervously, "I guess."

It was majorly weird; Bryce was behaving like a pod person.

"You kids need to get out of here and go home."

"Alright…"

Phil was expecting some police brutality.

"How's Keely?" he asked.

Bryce glared at him, "Why do you want to know about that dumb anorexic whore?"

"I was wondering if you were having fun with her." Phil said peeling out with Via still straddled him.

Bruno peeled out behind him, Via climbed off him.

"That was strange what was with the rent a cop?"

"He was my ex-girlfriend's stepfather." Phil answered as they made their way back to Bruno's house where his party was still going on.

They parked across the street and Via straddled him again, "Where were we?"

She slid her hands over his shoulders caressing his muscles through his shirt as she bounced on his lap.

"Right about here." He said, pulling open her plunging top.

Keely was released from the hospital the next day; she had to deal with her overzealous sister. She kept trying to feed her. Keely ate grudgingly, just to appease her sister and she sat in her room and stared at her guitar wishing she could play it but she knew when her sister heard the first cord she would come up and take it from her and make her rest.

So she just sat on her window seat and stared out into the empty street, Pickford was so dead after Bruno's parties. Everyone her age was either hung over or getting their stomachs pumped.

Not that she'd actually hang with any of them. She sighed and glanced at her cell phone on her lap it had buzzed and the screen lit up. Owen's name flashed across the screen. She really didn't feel like his doting concern, or his gossip from the night before. So she ended the call before it began, and scrolled down the numbers in her phone and she came across Phil's number.

She took a deep breath whenever she came across it she wanted to call him more than she wanted her next breath. She missed him terribly, he was the reason she barely ate and barely slept. She had no reason to function and try to stay healthy. She pulled her knees up to her chest and tried not to cry.

"Keely," Calli said from the doorway.

"I miss him…" she told her.

"Why did you end things with him?"

"It was the right thing to do…I thought… but it's killing me to see him with…" she sobbed, "Her…"

"I talked to Pim and she told me they aren't seriously dating, they just party together." Calli said.

"He's still with her…"

"He loves you."

"Why isn't he with me?"

"You told him to leave." Calli said.

"I'm a dumb ass."

"You are but he loves you. You can make things right."

"How?"

"Keely, you aren't that big of a dumb ass. You'll figure it out." Calli walked away.

Phil was lying in his bed it was ten thirty, he had snuck in with Via at four. He was supposed to stay over at Bruno's but there hadn't been any available bedrooms. So he'd brought her home, and he was lying there with her and she had her arms wrapped around his waist.

"PHIL!" his mother shouted clicking on the light.

"Fuck! MOM!" Phil shouted trying to cover himself with the blanket.

"Hello, Mrs. Diffy." Via laughed not bothering to cover herself.

"Downstairs ten minutes, both of you. Dressed if you please."

With that his mother was gone. Phil sighed, and Via was still laughing. He glared at her.

"What? It's funny. Please Phil don't tell me you haven't been caught before?"

"NO!"

"Oh, this is going to be rather traumatic for you isn't it?"

"Probably." He stood up looking for his pants.

Via pulled on one of his shirts with her skirt and they made their way downstairs.

Phil listened to his mother's lectures with half an ear, she'd been more upset over the fact that he wasn't serious with Via to introduce her to the family and that they were having sex.

Via, wasn't well received by the family but Phil doubted she cared. Phil groaned when his father came in from his new job at some company whose name he couldn't pronounce to ask what was going on.

Later he took Via home, and they made plans to hook up later on Monday. He drove home taking the long way, going past Keely's place. He looked straight up at her room and saw her sitting on her window seat gazing out, he could see the tears on her face and it still broke his heart.

When he was little he'd always played games where he would be being a knight and saving a princess high in a tower. He still wanted so much to save Keely. He realized then that Via was merely distraction for him. As much as he tried to deny it to himself that he still loved Keely. He started to stop and pull in the driveway, but he could hear the loud pipes on Bryce's truck approaching in the distance and he kept going.

"You will be free Keely…" he vowed gripping the steering wheel.

Refuse to fear, anything at all

Refuse to slip, refuse to fall

You can't be weak you can't still

Watch your back cause no one will

---- Jason Wade, Lifehouse