Laws of Motion – Book 3
Written by: Ms. Maggs/Edited by: KJT
Chapter 14
Saturday – October 1, 2005
The Vartanns – San Marino
6:44 a.m.
"Breakfast is served!" Tony exclaimed upon entering the bathroom with a china bowl. "Your favorite…sardines!"
From his position on the floor, Greg watched in surprise as his sometimes gruff co-worker dropped to his knees, spilled slimy fish onto a towel and proceeded to goof around.
"Who loves their Uncle Tony!" he asked as the two birds followed their noses to the tantalizing smell. "Hey! Not too fast, we can't have you choking to death on us."
"Why are we doing all the mothering, instead of our wives?" Greg laughed.
"One word for you…shit." Tony cleaned up a fresh piece. "They're all about the cute penguins until they realize they take dumps that smell like fish."
"I can't believe how good you are at taking care of kids."
"I'm an uncle four times over. I like these guys, but I'd like them a lot more if they used diapers like my niece. Can you believe how these sardines are flying through them?" Tony peeled his eyes off the penguins. "I still can't believe you nabbed two."
"It couldn't be helped. Both of them were bucking for an adventure, and I have a hard time saying no."
"Yeah, you have twins on the way to prove it." Vartann held out a fish, smiling when one of the birds snatched it. "I hope you're not going to be one of those parents who can't say no to their kids."
"I have no idea what kind of parent I'm going to be." Greg dangled a fish for one of the penguins. "I'm still fine-tuning my husband skills."
"Maybe we should trade." Tony smirked as he sat back against the wall. "I'm good with kids and Tawny's pregnant, not to mention gorgeous. You always wanted Becca to be your girl and she hates kids, so..." He couldn't finish without cracking a satisfied grin. "I'll stop messing with you, Sanders. Here and in the field. Don't tell anyone, but I almost like you."
"I promise I won't taint your cool jock reputation by telling people you've befriended a geek," Watching the penguins mill about he remarked, "For the record, Becca doesn't hate kids."
"Becca who? Not my Becca," Tony chuckled, finding it impossible to imagine. "You didn't see her with my niece. She couldn't stand holding her, looked totally freaked. She literally broke out in a sweat. Hell, her arms were so shaky I had to take the baby from her after a few seconds. Just as well she's not Catholic and can't be a Godmother for my niece, because there's no way she'd make in through the baptism."
"Sounds like she looked as though she'd seen a ghost." Greg waited for Tony to glance up and then coolly said, "Figure it out, Detective. I know you heard me that night outside Starbucks when I was yelling at Becks about all the shit I had helped her through over the years. She was already completely freaked about the procedure, because like I said last night, she's petrified of needles and doctors, but she wanted to get married and have the kid with the bastard. You should have seen her when she found out she was pregnant, she went on and on about how she was going to be the best mother and show her mother how it should have been. She had the kid's first five birthdays planned out by the time her boyfriend showed up and told her he'd shove her down a flight of stairs if she didn't take care of the mess."
"The abortion," Tony stated in a vacant voice. It all made sense; the discomfort around the baby, the distance any time kids were around, even the quiet moments with their rat seemed more telling. "I'm such am idiot. I was shoving my niece in her arms while she's sitting there thinking about the baby she would have had if…"
"It wasn't an ethical thing," Greg confirmed. "She's pro-choice, participated in a bunch of stuff while at Stanford to that effect. Before Becca got pregnant, one of her friends had an abortion and she was real supportive."
"But she wanted…"
"A family. She wanted one so much, she got pregnant on purpose to trap the guy she thought would make the perfect husband. She created a life, only to end it six weeks later. To say she was screwed up after that is an understatement."
"Jesus Christ."
The only thing preventing Greg from getting emotional was the presence of a hard-ass cop in the room. "A few hours after we got back from the clinic, my dad called to say my grandfather was in the hospital and not expected to last the night." Gulping, he said, "Becca told me to go, that she felt fine. I was really close with my grandfather, and even though I felt it in my gut that I shouldn't leave her, I didn't want to miss the chance to say goodbye to him." While Tony stared, Greg finished, "She wanted me to go home so she could be alone and kill herself." His voice flooded with emotion. "See…the guy didn't only make her terminate the baby, he made her terminate her dream of a family. After that…she was another person. She lost her spark and became this career driven bitch, totally distancing herself from me…and my family. That's what makes what my mother did so much worse. For years she used family time as a carrot to dangle in front of Becca. Time at my house was the only family time she ever saw and my mom had the power to take it all away."
Sickened by the story, Tony snapped, "Add me to the top of list of people who hate your mother."
"Fourth is the best I can do…my dad, me and Becks have the top three spots. You can share number four with Tawny." Watching the sated penguins settle down for a nap, Greg asked, "Shift your Becca paradigm a bit?"
"Yeah, about a mile."
"Tawny felt the same way when I told her. Becca doesn't know I told her the whole story, but I had to tell her. She couldn't get why I put up with Becca's shit."
"Thanks for not turning your back on her…at least not until she drugged your and tried to ruin your wedding." Hurrying to his feet, Tony said, "Would you mind…"
"Yeah, I'll cover your shift so you can give her a little TLC." Greg glanced up smiling. "For the first time ever, I'm starting to think that hurt little girl might end up okay."
The Blakes
6:52 a.m.
"Good morning, Celine," Wendy greeted in a tone as sunny as the TV weatherman was forecasting for Vegas. Sitting on the living room couch sewing a button on one of Paul's shirts, she smiled at the guest. "I guess there really is something to that thread-count stuff Carrie goes on about. You got twelve hours of sleep."
Celine remained silent while cinching her new robe tighter. Although she had been in the house once before, now she was looking at everything with a new set of eyes…the happy family photos in particular.
"What can I make you for breakfast, Sweetie?" Wendy carefully placed Paul's shirt on the back of a dining room chair. "Waffles? Pancakes? We don't eat meat in the house, but I have soy sausages and eggs." Smiling , she urged, "Please…I always feel better when I'm cooking for someone."
"Toast," Celine finally squeaked.
"How do you like your toast, Honey? Tell me, because there's no point in me making you something you won't thoroughly enjoy."
"Light, with just jelly."
"Light toast with just jelly it is," Wendy cheered while taking her hand. "You're a lot easier to please than Ryan."
Nick and Carrie's
7:09 a.m.
"Morning!" Ryan greeted as he hustled into the meat-friendly kitchen.
"Morning," Nick replied without lifting his eyes from the Sports section. "Sleep well?"
"Awesome!"
"Good."
"Those are great sheets, way better than the ones at home." When he saw only his future-uncle was in the room, he plopped down at the table next to him and asked, "What's Aunt Carrie cooking us for breakfast? Sausage? Bacon? Ham? All of the above? Where is she? I'm starving."
Nick's laughter shook his newspaper as he lowered it. "If you think your aunt wakes up early to cook a hearty breakfast, you're in for a rude awakening." He returned the paper to the upright position. "You know where the fridge and the pantry are, boy…help yourself. That's what I do every morning."
"And you're okay with this arrangement?" Ryan quizzed as he reluctantly headed for the fridge. "I mean…about my aunt not being domesticated."
"Domesticated means tame," Nick smirked behind his paper, "Yeah, I'm more than okay with her being undomesticated."
With his head in the fridge sniffing for meat, Ryan yelled, "Ewww, I don't want to hear about you having wild sex with my aunt. That's almost as bad as thinking about my mom and dad doing it those four times to have us kids."
"You and Sean are twins, remember? They only had to do it three times."
"You don't have to do it twice to get twins?"
"Nope. Ask Greg if you don't believe me." When Nick saw the boy emerge with a pound of sliced ham and a gallon of milk, he said, "While you're over there, check the door of the fridge for a chart. Those are your chores this week."
His eyes focusing on the lengthy list, Ryan squawked, "All of those are mine!"
Nick tossed his newspaper on the table and stood. "What? Did you think you were just going to laze around in between meat feedings? If that's the lifestyle you want, go live at the zoo, Carnivore."
"But I'm a guest!"
"Hell no you're not." Nick walked over clutching his mug just as the boy set the milk on the counter. "You're part of the family, and where I come from, that means you pitch in and keep any complaints to yourself." Patting the flummoxed boy on the back, he added, "Make sure you rinse off the dishes and put them in the dishwasher in the format specified on the back of your chore chart."
Ryan flipped over the paper and studied the diagram. "Is this for real?"
"Welcome to family life Stokes style." Nick winked. "I'm hittin' the shower. Be ready for me to drive you to your golf lesson at eight, not a second later. My time is valuable, so every second you keep me waiting is a push up."
"This reminds me of that Wife Swap show Mom and Dad like to watch." Ryan cracked his trademark grin. "After a week do I get to switch roles and make you live Ryan style?"
"Sure thing." Nick patted the boy on the shoulder. "I'll laze around and eat meat all day while you go out and work twelve hour shifts only to come home and do work around the house, walk the puppy in the middle of the night and pay the bills out of your bank account."
"Uh."
Heading to the door, Nick pointed to his watch, "Tick tock!"
The Vartanns – San Marino
7:12 a.m.
"Mmm, what time is it?" Becca moaned as she rolled over in bed, nuzzling into her husband's chest.
"Quarter after seven." Tony strengthened his embrace. After hearing about his wife's mistakes and traumas from Greg, all he wanted to do was hold her tight. "Good morning, Sweetheart. Did you sleep well?"
"Like a log." After a quick laugh she said, "Apparently a life of crime relaxes me."
"Promise me you won't make it a habit." Kissing the top of her head, he whispered, "I'd miss you if you had to serve time. I love you, Becca. If I had known how happy swiping a penguin would make you, I wouldn't have hesitated."
"Now there's a line a girl doesn't hear every day…especially from a cop." Opening her eyes, she smiled at her husband. "It seems as though criminal activity makes you even more cuddly and sweet, Detective." She ran her fingertip over his bottom lip. "If I didn't have rancid morning breath, I'd kiss you."
Anxious to make up for any distress he had caused her by foisting his niece on her, Tony claimed her lips in spite of the warning.
"Hey, aren't you supposed to be on penguin duty?"
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" he joked.
"Are you kidding?" she laughed. "I've actually contemplated Super-Gluing you to me, so you couldn't leave me if you tried."
"I'll save you a trip to the store for glue." Tony held up his left hand and flashed his ring. "I'm already bonded to you for life."
"Wow." Her mouth hung open as she stared at the man of her dreams. "If I didn't have to pee like a race horse, I'd be begging you to make love to me right now."
"It's the thought that counts." He tugged the bedding off her. "Take care of business, brush your teeth and get your gorgeous ass back here so I can rock your world."
Jumping out of bed Becca giggled, "Seriously, I thought you had penguin duty at seven! I don't want them to get hurt."
"My good buddy Hoj said he'd cover my shift."
From the bathroom she yelled, "I love how the two most important men in my life are buddying up!"
Tossing his t-shirt, Tony chuckled, "Don't tell him I said it, but I feel really bad for busting on Greg all these years, he's a great guy…with screwed up hair and really bad taste in clothes, but…"
"Shit!"
"What's wrong, Baby?"
Walking out of the bathroom, Becca pouted, "I left my pills at home."
"Infertility has its privileges, remember? You don't need to worry. I don't know why you're still taking them now that you're only sleeping with me."
"Habit." She shrugged. "I've been taking the pill since I was sixteen. I stopped once…but that didn't work out so well." Trying not to kill the mood Becca joked, "What I'm trying to say is…taking the pill stops me from having mood swings."
"Really?" Tony sweetly said, "I'm thinking they might have quit working a while ago, Becks."
"Kidding!"
"Seriously, you should give your body a break. Fifteen years is a long time and isn't there proof it can cause certain types of cancer if…"
"Actually the real reason is that I get wicked cramps if I don't…" Stuffing her hands on her hips, Becca risked a little honesty in her marriage, "Truthfully, I'm just a little OCD about it, okay? Some people with OCD have to wash their hands fifty times before leaving the house, I need to take the pill or I can't have sex, and it would be so cool if we could just leave it at that right now."
"Consider it left."
"Sorry for the buzz kill."
"Buzz kill? What buzz kill?" Tony flashed a reassuring smile and patted the bed. "Instead of making love, how about we pretend you just paddled across the lake from Camp Dunmore and we do a little mutual fooling around?"
Relieved by the request, Becca's sprits soared and she jumped at the chance for a little stress-reducing fun. "Give me a sec!"
Tony curiously watched as his wife darted into her closet. "What are you doing in there? It sounds like you're ripping the place apart!"
"Close your eyes and channel your inner-sixteen year-old horndog!"
"Honey, my inner sixteen year-old horndog rears his head every morning and I'm more than a little insulted you haven't noticed."
"Ha!"
Grinning, Tony reclined on the bed. "Okay, Baby, I'm in the zone!" A second later he heard the distinct sounds of a thunderstorm. "What the hell?"
"Open up."
Tony's eyes were treated to the sight of his wife in a string bikini bottom and a tight wet t-shirt. "What happened?"
"I got caught in the rain on the way over," Becca stated in her best giddy girl voice. "Did you miss me, Camper?"
"Yeah, I was worried you chickened out."
"Not a chance, I've been counting the minutes." Stepping closer she said in a sexy whisper, "Madison's covering for me at Dunmore and I don't have to paddle back until sunrise."
As his wife-turned-camper prowled up from the edge of the bed, Tony lamented, "I would have loved rich boy sleepaway camp."
Nick and Carrie's
7:26 a.m.
"Feel like going camping?" Nick asked Carrie when she joined him in the doorway where he was waiting for Ryan.
"What about my carnivorous nephew? We can't leave him alone here. He'd probably throw a house party."
"We'd take the boys and Kenna too."
"I don't know if Wen…"
"Already talked to her. She's all for it. I thought that it would give Celine a little more quality time with Wendy."
"Oh."
Nick cracked a wide smile. "You hate the idea."
"No…no, you know I've acclimated to camping."
"Would you like it better if your good pal Sara was coming too?"
Carrie chuckled, "She's not the camping type either."
"Yeah, but Gris loves it because of the Entomological opportunities. I called him and he jumped at the idea of spending a little time in the great outdoors with his bug freak protégé, Sean. We were thinkin' that you, Sara and Kenna could sleep in the motorhome while we men rough it in tents outside." Taking her hand, Nick urged, "C'mon, let's have a little spontaneous adventure."
Snuggling up, Carrie giggled, "That's going to be hard to do with a campground full of kids."
Nick brought his mouth to his fiancée's ear, "I'm sure we can find a nice quiet place to hide for an hour while Sara and Gris babysit. Remember how fun it was last time in the great outdoors. Every time I hear water running, I get randy thinking about that night in the rain next to the stream. Mmm…remember that, Darlin'?"
"How could I forget?" She swooned from the feel of his hot breath on her neck.
"So what do you say, Sweetheart?" Nick swayed his woman in the hallway while trailing butterfly kisses down her neck. "I'm up for it, Baby." He accented his words with a calculated shift of his hips. "Hmm? How about you?"
"Jeeeeeez! You're still smooth Stokes," she confirmed while fanning herself. "Yes, I'll go camping with you! While Ryan's at his lesson, you prep the motorhome and I'll shop for food and insect repellent."
"Just don't use the insect repellent in front of Gris," Nick joked, "he'll be real insulted if you kill off all of his little bug friends."
"I'm ready with thirty seconds to spare!" Ryan breathlessly announced. "No push ups." Then he noticed his aunt looking a lot happier than she had that morning when he caught her standing in what would have been the nursery wiping her tears. "What's going on?"
"We're going away for the weekend. You, Sean and Kenna too." Nick locked his arms around Carrie from behind, proud that he had thought of a way to cheer her up. "Right after your golf lesson, we're goin' camping."
The Grissoms
7:41 a.m.
"Camping!" Sara exclaimed as she watched her husband flit around his Bug Room like an eager Boy Scout. "I don't camp, I cabin."
"A motorhome is a cabin on wheels." Then, in an homage to his mother, he doused his wife with Catholic guilt. "But if you don't want to go and help cheer up your best friend, I'll call Nick and…"
"You're channeling your mother."
"Excuse me? I resent that." Feigning innocence, Gil sighed, "I'll call Nick." He knew she'd change her mind before his fingers curled around the receiver.
"Did Nick really say she was standing in the nursery holding a teddy bear and crying, or was that just said to coerce me?"
"Sadly, that's fact, not fiction." Gil held the phone to his chest hoping he wouldn't have to call. "It was the A&M bear Nick's sister had sent them to be specific. Ryan saw her and went out to the backyard to tell Nick, by the time he got there she was bawling. While Carrie showered he called me with the camping idea. He doesn't want her home all weekend, he wants her out of the house having a good time with family and friends. We're the friends."
Sara hurried out of the room. "I'll be in the bedroom packing for camp!"
The Vartanns – San Marino
8:17 a.m.
"Are you a happy camper?" Becca teased her husband as he panted above her. "From the sound of things, my guess is yes."
"That was…"
"I know!" she giggled like the boy-crazy teen she was supposed to be. "I could smell the pine trees."
"That thunderstorm CD playing in the dark room was perfect, and dousing us with that big glass of water you had on the nightstand…genius." His breath steady and his mind focused, Tony stroked his wife's cheek. "Are you okay? I couldn't tell if you were really tense or acting nervous." Smiling he admitted, "Eventually my mind clicked off and I did what any red-blooded teenage boy would have done after getting to third base with the girl of his dreams….made a play for home."
"You cured my OCD," Becca announced through a carefree grin. "Do you have any idea how many hours of therapy I paid for trying to get over that hangup!"
"Probably as many as I would have needed if I hadn't met you when I did." As their noses met for an Eskimo kiss, Tony's eyes closed. "The way you grabbed me and said my name…it was like being in the backseat of my father's Dodge with a quivering virgin. God that was hot." He wasn't ready to give up the rush. "I seriously feel sixteen again."
"I don't."
"No?" he said without hiding his disappointment.
"No, I never felt this good at sixteen…or seventeen…or twenty-one…or ever. Speaking of ages," she smirked. "How old were you when…"
"Younger than I should have been," Tony laughed as he rolled onto his back. "But I had a big brother bragging about girls and I felt pressured to succeed."
"Fifteen?"
"No."
"Fourteen?" The curiosity was killing her.
"Becks, come on, I don't want to talk about this now." Settling in against the silky five-hundred thread count sheets he sighed, "I'm in the afterglow."
"Thirteen!"
"Yes, okay, now drop it."
"No way!" She bolted up. "Was it good?"
"Not for her," he laughed. "But I thought it was pretty special at the time. All twelve seconds of it."
"Wait…how could you drive your father's Dodge if you were thirteen?"
"I didn't say the first time wasn't in the Dodge, it was in our treehouse." He wildly grinned. "With three boys in the family, that treehouse saw a lot of action."
"Exactly how many quivering virgins did you have in the back seat of your father's Dodge?"
"More than one."
"That's a very evasive answer, Detective." She pounced on top of him. "No wonder you were so good at deflowering me just now."
"Becks!" He playfully removed her from his body. "I'm not really sixteen. Your hopes are the only thing up at the moment."
"Hey!" Tawny jokingly yelled as she pounded on the door. "Keep it down in there! Your primal noises and laughter are scaring the penguins!"
"The camp counselor is breaking up the party." Becca winked at her husband. "Hey, before I sneak back across the lake, do you wanna keep my panties as proof you got into them? It's customary for the male campers to show their buddies proof."
"Honey, did you really give it up at summer camp?"
"No, I wasn't a slut like you," she laughed. "I was a big time tease, just ask Hoj. I waited and gave it up to my date for the Senior Prom. So, you were the only camper to make it past third, Stud."
"I'm honored."
Safeway
8:43 a.m.
"No, I'm thrilled! Really!" Sara informed her best friend when she ran into her at the supermarket. "I've never been camping in a motorhome, but I'm sure it's pretty close to sleeping in a cabin."
"Not quite." Carrie cracked up. "I've seen photos of your half-million dollar 'cabin', it's luxurious." Pushing her cart down the aisle, Carrie said, "Nicky's acting like an excited six year-old because Gil promised he'd take him batting."
"Batting is one of those things that you don't know you're missing until you try it." Smiling at the memory, Sara said. "This will sound nuts, but Gil made batting romantic."
Once again Carrie laughed at her friend, "Are you saying that Gil plans to get cozy in the woods with Nicky?"
"No way," Sara joked back, "With Sean there to astound with Entomological knowledge, Gil won't have time to romance anyone."
The Blakes
9:07 a.m.
"Are you sure it's a good idea for me to go away, Mom?" Sean queried once Celine was out of the room. "Won't Celine feel like she's losing people again?"
"Aww, that's very sweet, Honey, but actually her therapist said it would be good for her to have the quiet time with me to see if she'll open up. I told Celine the trip was pre-planned, so she doesn't think you're leaving on purpose. But if you don't want to go, then…"
"No, I do! Dr. Grissom is going to take me batting."
"There's a batting cage up in the mountains?"
"No," Sean laughed at the concept. "Batting, as in watching the rituals of bats in the middle of the night."
"Oh." Wendy cringed at the thought of watching rats with wings in a dark forest. "I'm sure your aunt and your sister will love that."
"They're going to stay in the motorhome and watch the Sound of Music. The one with the sing-a-long lyrics."
Wendy choked on her sip of coffee. "Now I'd pay to see Nick suffering through that."
"How much?" Sean inquired. "Because I'll have access to a video camera and…"
"I was kidding, Sweetie." Wendy hugged her boy. "Make sure Ryan doesn't scare McKenna like the last time we went camping and he pretended to be a bear outside the tent."
"I promise." After the hug, he said, "I was going to run next door and thank Lindsay on behalf of Celine since she's not up to it."
"Sure, Honey." Wendy returned to packaging banana loaves and cookies for the camping trip.
At the door Sean glanced over his shoulder. "I know we don't remember to tell you a lot, Mom, but thanks for everything you do around here to make us happy. I love you."
It was only then that Wendy realized the impact having Celine in the house was having on her family. Watching her mourn the loss of her father and sister was a constant reminder that life is too short, and there's no time like the present to tell your family you care. "I love you too, Sweetie. I want you to have a great time this weekend, and try not worry about anything." Trying to find a way to reassure her anxious son, Wendy parroted their church pastor, "Everything will work out according to God's plan."
Wildfire Country Club
9:28 a.m.
When Becca saw Tawny strutting toward her in a baggy swimsuit cover up and Candie's, she screeched, "You! I've been waiting for you!"
"Excuse me!" Tawny flaunted her attitude like a preening peacock.
"I know what you're up to." Becca stepped in front of her and postured. "You think I don't know what you've been doing since we left Vegas?"
"Whatever." Tawny attempted to brush by her but was stopped when her wrist was grabbed. "Let go of me, Bitch!"
"You're doing it again!"
"Doing what again!"
When the crowd that was there for Charlie and Dr. Dwyer's memorial brunch, was starting to migrate from lawn full of white tables to the pool area, Becca ratcheted her intensity. "You stole Hoj from me and now you're trying to steal Tony! But you're not going to succeed this time!"
"Get over yourself." Tawny smacked Becca's wrist, forcing her to recoil.
"Hey!" Grabbing onto the delicate fabric of the swimsuit cover up, Becca yanked it.
"Oh!" Standing there in high heeled sandals, a microscopic fire engine red bikini top and matching thong, Tawny shrieked, "I can't believe you did that!"
"But I'm sure glad she did!" Jeff Buckley cheered as he held up his Bloody Mary. "Look at those Ta-Tas!"
"Give me back my cover up!"
"Back off my man!"
"I don't want your man!" Tawny fluffed her hair and giggled, "If I did, he'd already be mine, because you've got nothin' but nubbins up top and I'm fully loaded."
"Oh!" Becca used the cover up to whip Tawny's ass.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Tawny bounced up and down as her friend snapped the shirt at her ass. "Stop it right now!"
The crowd grew larger still and within minutes it appeared the entire club was rushing to witness the spectacle.
"Let go!" Becca reached up to grab Tawny's hand, which was locked around her dark brown locks. "Stop pulling my hair!"
"Cat fight!" Jeff declared before whistling. "My money's on the blonde!"
Just when she was certain the crowd was at its peak, Becca lunged forward and yanked off Tawny's bikini top.
"OH!" Tawny's hands flew to her chest. That wasn't part of the plan!
"Who did your work, Honey!" Midge Carlson slurred. "I need a lift."
Midge's sixty-five year old husband told his golf buddies, "She doesn't need a lift, she needs a complete overhaul."
"Just do what Larry does every four years…trade the missus in for a new model." Stan pointed to the topless blonde who had just bitch-slapped Becca. "Someone like her. She's feisty."
"That's little Greg Sanders's wife. The one he sang to at the Labor Day formal. If you moved your eyes from her chest to her face you'd recognize her.
Holding her left cheek, Becca yelled. "That wasn't part of the plan!"
"Neither was stealing my top!" Tawny snatched it back.
"I got caught up in the moment!"
"Ditto!"
Meanwhile in Cabana Seventeen…
"Now!" Tony directed Greg, who was holding both penguins behind the curtain. "Free Willy and Wally!" Then he rushed to complete the other part of their caper.
Just like the first time, the birds waddled straight for the club's pristine salt-water pool. "Perfect!" Greg hurried to follow his accomplice to the crowd.
"Is that a penguin!" Greg yelled, mocking a woman's voice. In seconds, the club members were turning from the cat fight.
"It is a penguin!"
"No, it's two!"
When Greg saw Becca tying Tawny's bikini top, he shoved his way through the crowd. "I knew the plan was fail proof."
"She pulled my top off!"
"She slapped me!"
"How weird." Greg laughed, "About a month ago I had a dream just like that, but I was in bed and you were fighting over me."
"Check it out!" Tony rushed over and grabbed Becca's hand. "Your buddy Hoj suggested a little something extra." He pointed to the lounge chair where he had placed Charlie's 8x10 modeling headshot on a navy blue Ralph Lauren towel. They had printed off the picture from the Internet and framed it the previous night. Also on the towel was a note.
One more good time for you, Charlie.
Thanks for the laughs.
We'll miss you.
When Becca saw Charlie's trademark Bloody Mary on the small table next to the chair, a smile took over her face. "It's perfect. Thank you for breaking the law for me."
Wrapping his arms around his wife from behind, Tony watched the penguins release their pent-up energy by doing laps in the pool. "Is that…?"
"Yeah," Greg answered as he held Tawny a little tighter, "it's Charlie's Mom."
When he saw the mother smiling through her tears at the penguins swimming in memory of her son, Tony whispered in his wife's ear, "Sometimes the rules are meant to be broken."
Nick and Carrie's Driveway
10:02 a.m.
"Don't put that there!" Carrie instructed her nephew as he shoved a box of Lucky Charms in the wrong camper cabinet.
Always one to question authority, Ryan asked, "Why?"
"Because everything has an assigned place." Opening the closet, she pointed to a diagram. "Cereal goes in cabinet four, dried foods. You were putting it with the cans." After shutting the closet, she opened the dried food cabinet. "It goes in here."
Ryan teased, "I think you're just afraid the Lucky Charms Leprechaun will get gas if he hangs out with the beans."
Carrie grabbed the box from the teen's hands and jammed it in the crowded compartment.
"There's a lot more room in the can cabinet," Ryan muttered.
"Listen, Punk, your mom never lets you have evil sugary Lucky Charms, so zip it, or I'll take away your meat ration!" As soon as the boy darted out of the camper, she opened the can cabinet and stuck the box in there.
"Hey," Nick greeted as he stepped inside with three more bags. "Why are you putting the cereal in the can cabinet?" Opening the closet he pointed to the chart. "We have a system, remember? When you camp, it's all about maximizing limited space."
"I think you're just afraid the Lucky Charms Leprechaun will get gas if he hangs out with the beans."
When Nick cracked up he said, "You made a fart joke! I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks," she gushed with pride.
"Now put the box in the right cabinet, so I can load up the cans of vegetarian chili I bought for Sara."
The Grissoms
10:12 a.m.
"Sara!" Gil continued crawling around the floor of his closet.
"Yeah?" She stood in the doorway and joked, "Those jeans look mighty nice on you, Stud."
"Are you checking out my ass?"
"Since we're married, it's half mine." Laughing she clarified, "I prefer the left cheek."
"What's wrong with my right cheek?"
"The left one has a cute little mole."
"Really?" He glanced over at his denim clad posterior. "I didn't know that."
"What are you doing?"
"I can't find my straw hat."
"Because I gave it to Goodwill, although I'm not sure it qualified as Goodwill since it was hideous."
"What?" Standing up he said in disbelief, "You didn't like my straw hat?"
"It made you look like a Miami retiree in Vegas for a shuffleboard tournament." Smiling, she said, "But if you miss it that much, I'm sure it's still for sale at the Goodwill store, because who would buy it?"
"Are you going to wear those shoes?"
Sara glanced down at her flip flops. "For the drive, yeah. Why?"
"No reason."
"What?"
"Nothing." Turning his back he smirked. "They make your toes look weird."
"My toes aren't weird."
"Your pinky toe is out of proportion with the rest."
"What?" She glanced down, never noticing a mathematical difference. "You never told me you had a problem with my pinky toe."
"You never told me you had a problem with my hat."
When their eyes met, they broke out laughing.
"We're so married!" Sara declared in a joyous voice.
"Come here, Mrs. Grissom." Taking her hand, he pulled her close. "I promise I won't ignore you for bugs and bats the whole time we're camping." When she shot him a look he clarified, "Okay, I promise to try."
Wildfire Country Club
10:42 a.m.
"I promise, Sir," Greg assured the seventy-two year old club president, who was looming over him while he sat with Tawny, Becca and Tony eating brunch. "No more penguins in the pool…not that I'm admitting guilt, I mean that in that general sense."
Minutes after discovering the birds, the President phoned the local aquarium. Much to Greg's dismay, angry handlers arrived to retrieve Willy and Wally, while Mrs. Dwyer was enjoying them. However, just as the handlers were about to phone the police to investigate and press charges, the grieving mother stepped forward with a hefty donation check and asked if it would be enough to refurbish the penguin habitat and name it the Charles Dwyer Penguin Pavilion.
"Admit it, Mr. Topham," Greg implored the crabby man, "it was a nice gesture and since the zoo got enough money to improve the penguin pavilion, it was a win-win for all involved…not that I'm saying I was involved in any way."
"Right. I'll get back to you in a minute, Gregory," Topham huffed. "As for you, Mrs. Sanders…"
"Tawny. Please." She flashed a sunny smile. "Mrs. Sanders makes everyone around here think 'Psycho Bev' and I really don't want to be associated with her."
"Tawny, as much as it will disappoint the majority of our male members, please keep your top on in the future."
"I promise, Sir." Tawny glared at her partner in deception. "As long as no one rips it off me, it will remain in place."
"For the hundredth time, I'm sorry!"
"Ladies, please." Wallace Topham eyed Becca, who was laughing with her husband. "I assume since his Scott isn't here, they're your guests today, Mr. and Mrs. Vartann."
"Yeah," Tony replied. "Sir, I'll take full responsibility for bringing the penguin thief and his flasher wife on the premises."
Greg and Tawny cracked up.
"In the future, they are not to be your guests."
"What!" Becca blasted the old windbag. "That's totally unfair! Hoj is solely responsible for supplying the most fun this place has had all year…his singing proposal and today with the penguins!"
"You didn't let me finish, Rebecca." From his jacket pocket, Mr. Topham handed Greg an envelope. "Welcome to the club, Mr. and Mrs. Sanders."
"What?" Greg tore open the envelope. "I don't get it. I applied a bunch of times and was never approved, but the day I dump penguins in the pool I get in?"
"Your mother asked the voting board to block your approval every time you applied."
"That figures." Tawny strangled her cloth napkin in lieu of Bev's neck. "Reason seven hundred and twelve to hate her."
Returning the envelope, Greg smiled, "Thank you, Mr. Topham, I appreciate the gesture, but I can't afford a family membership with annual fees and food and beverage minimums. Honestly, I can't even afford lunch here."
"You don't have to worry about paying for it, Mr. Sanders." Topham tossed the envelope on the table. "A certain club member has paid your membership, fees and minimums for the next ten years."
Greg glared at Becca. "I told you, no more handouts!"
"I swear! I didn't do it!"
"It wasn't Mr. and Mrs. Vartann, and it wasn't your father or mother."
"Who then!" Tawny tore open the envelope as she envisioned bringing the twins to the annual Easter Egg hunt, as well as the breakfast with Santa and reindeer that Greg had shown her photos of doing when he was a boy.
Glancing around, Greg finally found Mrs. Dwyer, who was standing with a small group near the fountain. When she raised her glass and nodded, he knew. "It's from Charlie's mom." 'Thank you' he mouthed as he reciprocated with a raised glass.
"Are we going to keep it?" Tawny asked. "Because I know you said no more handouts, but it's okay with me if it's okay with you." Pleeeeeeeease let it be okay!
"It's not a handout," Becca, the lawyer, clarified. "It's payment for services rendered. You made Mrs. Dwyer happy on one of the saddest days of her life and in return, she's given you that membership. To refuse it would be insulting and only further the Widow Dwyer's pain. Some people are already treating her like a pariah because of what her husband did. She has a bazillion dollars, Hoj, so the money's nothing to her. She obviously did it because you made her happy, and she needs to feel good about helping someone after her husband killed the father of a young girl. Take it. You know you guys can stay in my guest house any time. So you can bring the twins to California and have a place to stay and a place to eat and have fun without spending a dime. To say no, would be insane."
"Well, when you put it like that." Greg tucked the envelope in his jacket and grabbed his champagne glass. "Breakfast is on my tab!"
"To crime!" Tony cheered as he clanked his glass against Greg's. "Sometimes, it really does pay."
Author's Notes:
Although there were a few misty moments in the chappie, I was primarily going for fluff, fun and laughs with a little character development along the way. I needed it after a week of more carnival planning hell! I sincerely hope you got a few good laughs.
Next Chapter: All I know is…it'll be a bit batty! Posting: Friday, September 1.
Maggs