A/N: thanks to Naomi and St. elmo-lover for reviewing…sorry this chapter kinda stops short again but I promise to update soon and it's the only place I could leave off. Let me know what you think of it pleaseee. enjoy.

The afternoon seemed to drag on slowly as I kept to myself on the rooftop. What had I done? The hurt in his eyes was enough to make me sad, I usually didn't care about hurting peoples feelings, but this was Spot, my friend and maybe more?

I yelled in frustration and it didn't take long for someone to hear it. I heard the footsteps behind me and the sound of a body falling into position next to me. I kept my head straight ahead though, not wanting to really talk to anyone right now.

I heard a cough, more like a clearing of a throat but still the horizon seemed more interesting to me.

"What happened Phantom?" I heard Haze's voice finally break through the noise from the streets below.

When he got no answer he tried again, "Is it Spot?"

Still no answer, "If he did anythin' to ya I'll kill him" finally I turned to him, sorrow evident in my eyes.

"No Haze…it was what I did to him" I rested my head in my hands as I stared forward once more.

"Phantom, what could ya have done to make ya like this? If it was to him?" Haze put his hand on my shoulder to make me look at him. "Please Phantom, ya not helpin' ya self by hidin' this"

"I said no to Brooklyn" I whispered, but Haze heard my words and titled his head in confusion. He stayed silent waiting for me to continue.

"What if he turns out to be Club?" I asked tears starting to form in my eyes, "I remember Club taking me out to lunch and dinner, bringing me to poker games and parties. I remember the feeling he gave me; that I was the only thing important in his life. But he turned and I don't know if I can trust guys anymore."

"Phantom ya know Spot is not and never will be Club. And maybe this isn't gonna help hearin' it from a guy but ya gotta give us another chance, we aren't all bad. Take it slow, Spot will understand, and if ya get uncomfortable just take a time out or somethin'" I looked at Haze and gave him a small smile.

"What would I do without ya Haze?" my smile faded a little, "But it's too late with Spot, I hurt him"

"Ya know I don't think ya would survive without me, go tell him why this is bothering ya…if he doesn't want to give ya another chance I'll soak him. Simple as that." I laughed at the thought of Haze soaking Spot.

"Thanks Haze. I think I'm gonna go for a walk, see where I end up" Haze nodded knowingly and I left him on the roof alone.

I left the lodging house not sure where I wanted to go; I just wanted to clear my head more. My feet started moving in a direction towards Manhattan. But when I was closer to Harlem's territory my body seemed to turn around again, not wanting to continue through towards even Brooklyn. I knew I should have headed towards Spot but somehow I wasn't ready to yet.

I lowered my head and turned back towards my own home. It was growing darker and I decided to leave this matter until tomorrow.

A few days went by since I had last spoken to Spot, and with all the courage I had I still couldn't bring myself to enter Brooklyn. Today though I had finished selling and found myself at Manhattan's border.

I hadn't realized I had walked that far today, glancing around I decided to walk through the streets of Manhattan, and maybe I could finally make it to Brooklyn. I walked the streets I seemed to know as much as my own. Somehow no matter where I was the streets felt like home and the alley ways were not the mazes they appeared to be.

As my mind wandered once again, my feet took my body to the one place I hoped they wouldn't, The Brooklyn Bridge. I glanced up at the structure in front of me, it was now or never. Personally I would prefer the never but I knew I had to and after debating this for days I had to talk to Spot. I slowly moved my right foot onto the bridge, followed slowly by the left. I held my head up and continued walking into Brooklyn, where I knew the king himself would not be happy to see.

It had become late afternoon by the time I finally saw the docks in front of me. I kept far enough away so that his little birds wouldn't see me yet. I eyed the group of newsies swimming in the water and hanging out around the docks. My eyes rested on one sitting on top of boxes.

Spot was watching over his newsies but even from this distance I could tell he wasn't in a good mood. His face seemed colder than usual. Taking a deep breath I carefully walked further in towards the docks. As I moved passed some of his newsies, I felt their eyes on me. At least no one had gone to tell him, but then again I think he caught sight of me already.

I glanced up and saw him gazing down at me from the taller boxes. His eyes instantly narrowed, as my own flashed hurt back at him. I looked to both sides of me to make sure his boys were staying away and letting me continue to Spot.

Spot made no motion to move as he watched me now stand directly below his makeshift throne. I glanced up at him, "Spot can I talk to ya?" I almost pleaded.

I waited for what seemed like minutes before he finally nodded and jumped down.

He started walking away and I quickly fell into step behind him, knowing he didn't want to talk in public.

He steered me back towards his lodging house and preceded to him room before stopping and turning to face me.

He sat on the edge of his bed with his arms crossed. I stared at his stature and gave a small smile.

"Listen Spot, about the other night..." I started, glancing at Spot once again to make sure he was still listening. "I didn't mean what I said."

He raised his eyebrows but remained silent.

"Well I kinda did," that didn't seem to make him any happier as I noticed. I sighed not really meaning that to sound the way it had. "Ya know all these years I've been surrounded by guys. They have been my friends and family. Ya know as much as I do there aren't a lot of girl newsies and even if there was I still wouldn't fit in with half of them. But even with leading my own boys, I'm scared."

I paused to take a breath; so far he hadn't gotten any madder so I continued. "I'm scared to get close to them…and you. I've tried it before, Club was like ya in beginin' he took me out and cared for me. But then with the trust I finally gave to him he hurt me, in more ways than one. And I don't know if I can trust being with another guy like that, or at least yet." I looked back up at him; he was still silent which scared me.

He slowly began to nod. "Listen Phantom I didn't mean for it to seem like Club in any way. I would never do anythin' to hurt ya."

"I know that Spot, I do, but there still a part of me that is less trustin' with any guy now, not just you"

He still seemed mad, like I didn't trust him anymore. I lowered my head and left his room. I said what I came to say and that was all I could do. I shook my head to clear it and keep my emotions hidden as I stepped out of the lodging house.