Hogwarts Idol: Round 3: Duets
Backstage at the end of round 2.
SDC and Erin called the contestants together backstage – 'Hi everybody!' called Erin cheerfully. 'Hi Dr. Nick!' chorused the idols……. 'Um, we're the hosts, SDC and Erin. This isn't the Simpsons, you know.' SDC scolded them.
'Anyways, we're sorry to say that Pansy isn't going through to the next round. We just want to wish you every success in the future, Pansy. Just hope you realise that future isn't singing, girlfriend, but respec' an awl, yu dun reely gud.' said SDC suddenly sounding like Ali G. 'Okay, for tomorrow night's show, you peeps have to do duets!' Erin announced. The contestants looked at each other, and then back at SDC and Erin, bewildered. 'So just so you get some time to prepare, you get to pick your partners and songs now. Remember, you need to have a boy/girl partnership, and the judges are looking for: suitable song choice, working as a team and suitable costumes. And, tomorrow night, two of you will be fired .' SDC grinned. The contestants groaned. 'So, carry on, pick your partners!' Erin smiled much too innocently.
Harry was instantly grabbed by his mother, who hugged him to her side. He threw a pleading glance at Ginny, but already realised that all hope was lost.
The other contestants were slower to react and milled around in confusion for a few moments, Snape looked pleadingly at McGonagall who reluctantly nodded, Ron was about to step towards his sister when he was yanked sideways by Hermione "You're singing with me, Ron" she hissed "No ways I'm paring up with that git Malfoy".
Ginny stood up from tying her shoelace, and stared around in increasing horror as she realised that only Draco was left "I'm not singing with HIM! He'll make me sing SpongeBob! It's stupid and….and...it's not even a duet!!!!" she howled and burst into tears.
"We know exactly how you feel girlfriend" said SDC and Erin " but these are the rules, and he's the only one left, don't worry it's only one song, and you're totally winning anyway".
'Huh?!" exclaimed the other contestants. SDC and Erin backed out of the stage as they muttered amognst themselves. "Hey, I thought the scores didn't matter – just like on who's line is it anyway"Ron said , "She's not so good – my song was totally more hip-hop than hers was"Snape grumbled, "What, I'm not top??!!" Hermione was in shock."You're the best lovee, you're going to win" Lily said reassuringly to Harry; and Harry just stared blankly thinking "I'm screwed…."
The next morning, SDC came into the studio. She found four practice rooms already occupied by the contestants. She found Erin and they both quietly went round seeing what the contestants were doing. They heard Hermione shouting from a room at the end of the corridor. 'No way am I doing a cheesy Disney song!' 'Well, then how about the song Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson did at the MTV music awards? You know, the one with the wardrobe malfunction?' Ron suggested. 'Uh uh, NOT going there, Ron.' SDC and Erin decided it was better to leave them to it, and went and got some pizza before carrying on to the next room. They peeked around the door and saw McGonagall and Snape bickering about their choice of song. 'I'm not going to go up there and sing 'Lost Inside of You!' Snape protested. 'Oh, come on! You know I can make you if I wanted to!' McGonagall said in a soft, threatening voice. 'Uh, come on, let's go.' Erin whispered to SDC. 'You're right, this could get ugly.' SDC replied. 'Not that Snape could get much worse!' They both doubled over in silent giggles as they walked to the next room.
'Oh, Harry dear, let's do 'For Longer Than Forever'!' Lily suggested. 'It was in your favourite movie when you were little!' 'Uh, that was your favourite movie, Mother, I was only one year old!' said Harry, exasperated. 'Let's do something simple, and STOP staring at me like that!'
They were surprised to hear the gentle sounds of 'Tea For Two' coming from the next practice room. Ginny and Malfoy were standing together, singing rather sweetly, so SDC said, 'Oh, you guys are getting on pretty well, then.' 'Yes' said Draco, smiling evilly. 'I had to agree with Ginny, SpongeBob wasn't the best duet.' Erin and SDC gaped. Draco agreed with Ginny?!?! SDC pinched herself, then Erin just to make sure they weren't dreaming.
The day passed with the contestants gradually coming to terms with their partners and actually practicing their songs. SDC and Erin ate pizza and tried to avoid the tense practice rooms as much as possible. The one bit of excitement was when Erin caught Lee Jordan sneaking around the practice rooms, trying to sign up the best singers to his own record company. 'I can get you all the best gigs! The Quidditch finals! The Hogwarts end-of-year feasts! Friday nights at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade!' He shouted as the security trolls dragged him off.
Finally, the hall filled with excited Hogwarts students, and the curtain rose on Hogwarts Idol, Round 3…
SDC and Erin stood at the centre of the stage dressed identically, and looking hot!!!! The band struck a dramatic chord and without missing a beat the SDC and Erin rapped their intro, rapping alternate words so fluently it was like a single voice,
"Welcome all to Hogwarts Idol,
the talent quest, without rival,
Duets are what we bring tonight,
the best of sounds for your delight!"
The crowds' wild applause filled the hall.
"Whooo, hooo, hi there Hogwarts, are you ready for a good time?" continued SDC and Erin, still speaking alternately. "Our first contestants tonight will be, from that famous wizarding family, all the way from Gryffindor house, give it up for….Harry and Lily Potter, singing Sonny and Cher's 'I Got You Babe'!!!!!"
Harry and Lily stumbled onto the stage wearing flared flower patterned trousers, cheesecloth shirts and mile-high platform shoes. As Harry swayed trying to balance on his stilt like platforms, Lily flicked the hair on her knee length black wig over her shoulder – the weight of the hair nearly dragged her over backwards and her arms flailed madly for a moment.
At the end of their song, after SDC and Erin's ever warm, witty and oh so encouraging words, and the judges cold, somber and oh so discouraging 5.0 scores Harry and Lilly turned to leave the stage arm in arm. The heel of Harry's platforms caught in the leg of his flared trousers and he began to fall, dragging Lily with him – "Timberrrrrrr!!" called SDC as, almost in slow motion, they fell. The paramedic wizards were at the scene in seconds. Wands whirled and potions were applied, and in a trice, Harry and Lily were up, up and away!
"Alright, after that, um, fashion accident, and we mean the costumes, not the fall, our next contestants are Ron and Hermione, singing 'My Boo' by Usher and Alicia Keys!" SDC and Erin announced, still alternating words, like something that alternates words really, really well.
Ron and Hermione strode out confidently, looking like they'd conjured their clothes straight from the video clip (which they had). Hermione looked way cool, but Usher's clothes didn't look too stunning on Ron's pale complexion and vivid red hair. Still the audience went wild, and the judges nodded approvingly. After a quiet pause and Ron and Hermione sang:-
(Ron)
'It started when we were young girl
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But it's still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo
(Hermione:)
I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man in my life
You will always be my boo
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock'
There was a moment of stunned silence, while the crowd stared in amazement, they'd never heard them sing so well. The way they looked at each other, it was almost as if…., as if…..they were in love!!!!!
Then the entire hall burst into thunderous applause which lasted for several minutes, as the judges waved their ten point score cards high in the air. Lee Jordan was frantically waving a contract before the security guards dragged him off…again. "Wow! Ron, we didn't know you could be so intense, and Hermione, we thought you liked Harry!' Erin and SDC said, when finally they could be heard above the crowd.
"The next contestants, singing Elton John and Kiki Dee's 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' are Professor Snape and the hippest hopper in the staff room, M.C. Gonagall!!!!!!". The sounds of 'Can't touch this' boomed out as they reached the stage.
M.C. Gongall was wearing a hoodie, track pants and lotsa bling. Snape was the spitting image of Elton John (no doubt the effects of one of M.C. Gonagall's transfiguration spells). He was wearing awesome cough not cough glasses and a sparkly rainbow suit.
M.C. Gonagall had rearranged the song as a rap and she rocked. Snape on the other hand, well….he tried…and failed…miserably.
The audience was split between idolization of M.C. Gongall and faint embarrassment for Snape.
The judges gave their verdict: ranging from a ten from Dumbledore (M.C. Gonagall's greatest fan) to a 2 from Lee Jordan, who had several times failed potions in Snape's class. Professor Sprout balanced things out with an even 6.
'Well, thank you judges. We would just like to say that M.C. Gonagall, your bling is just the thing! But Snape, your bling is so wrong, in fact it's just completely BLONG " SDC and Erin had everyone laughing. Snape sniffed and stalked from the stage, trying to give everybody the evil eye, but nobody could tell behind those stupid glasses.
"Our final contestants tonight, the oddest of odd couples – Ginny and Draco. They will be singing that ancient show tune 'Tea for two' (No we've never heard of it either), please give them a big hand" (Erin and SDC wave the big polystyrene hands above their heads), the audience suddenly remembered theirs from round one and grabbed them from under their chairs.
Draco moved onto the stage, grinning maliciously his Hogwarts cloak drawn tightly around him. Ginny looked suspiciously at Draco as she stepped onto the stage, wearing a 1950's dance band singers dress. "Where's your tuxedo Malfoy?" she hissed from the corner of her mouth.
As the band began to play the "tea for two' music, Draco flung open his cloak to reveal his square leather pants, white shirt and red tie. He raced to the front of the stage and began to chant those oh so familiar words,
'Who lives in a pineapple under the sea
SpongeBob SquarePants
Absorbent & yellow & as porous is he
SpongeBob SquarePants
if nautical nonsense be something you wish
SpongeBob SquarePants………………….'
The audience groaned, the judges stared in amazement, SDC and Erin gaped, mouths working silently like stunned goldfish. Ginny stood smoldering, arms crossed, foot tapping the floor angrily, "I warned you Malfoy!!!" she shrieked "if you tried to sing that stupid song I'd kick your butt from here to California!". Draco looked around in mock surprise, "What's wrong? This is the best song about the bestest hero ever, and where's California anyway????" . "It's where you'll be when I finish kicking your butt" said Ginny and swung a kick that would have made David Beckham proud. Draco sailed over the audience and landed at his father's feet. "Hi Dad, is this California?" mumbled a dazed Draco, and collapsed into unconsciousness.
The show broke up in confusion, SDC and Erin calmed the audience and persuaded them to leave without doing further harm to Draco. Before the audience left, SDC, Erin and the judges promising that a fair way to decide the result of tonight's round would be found, and that Ginny would not be penalized for her partner hijacking their song. As the audience left, SDC and Erin collapsed on top of the judges table, extremely glad that the show was over. 'Let's go and see who can kick Draco the farthest!' Erin suggested. 'Alright, sounds good!' SDC replied and they happily ran up to where Draco was lying unconscious, and kicked him for all he was worth. Lucky the cameras were off….
A/N: Yes folks stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of "Hogwarts Idol', and don't forget to review!