Chapter 4

Glinda opened her eyes at some point past dawn, greatly surprised she had slept so many hours. She guessed she had managed it because her state of constant worry left her so worn out. She took a few minutes to bring herself to full wakefulness, then reached for the Grimmerie. Though the trip was likely to last most of the day, Glinda needed every moment to study. To say she felt unprepared was putting it gently. She was terrified of failing, and no matter how many hours she pored over the book, she felt no more capable than before.

Glinda wondered if Travion had received her note yet. She supposed so, and couldn't help wondering what he must be thinking. Glinda wished Travion could have come along, to help ease her anxiety. He was always very good at that, and had been since very early in their relationship. On only the third occasion Travion had come to the city to visit her, Glinda had been badly distracted and uncommunicative. Travion had taken her out to his favorite dining spot in hopes of cheering her up. He had made conversation, and tried to gently coax her into telling him what was wrong, but Glinda remained silent. Partway through dinner, unable to contain her grief and loneliness any longer, Glinda had burst into tears. Discreetly and without anger, Travion had paid for their meals and they had left. Only after they were alone in his carriage riding slowly through the city did Travion ask once more what the matter was.

Glinda had quickly protested, saying she didn't want to burden him, and that there was nothing seriously wrong.

"You don't cry over nothing... I've never seen you this upset before. Please, what is it? I know we haven't known each other very long, but I am a good listener, and I'd like to help. Please tell me, Glinda."

When Glinda saw the kind, earnest look in Travion's eyes, she couldn't refuse his request. She knew it was risky, telling him everything and expecting him to understand. But not one person had asked her about Elphaba since her demise. The staff of the household was too mindful of custom to even consider asking any questions, and Glinda had no friends... At least not anymore. She took a deep breath, and decided to take a chance, just this once.

"The only real friend I ever had died three months ago. I've tried so hard to keep going, to do the things everyone expects of me. It's so difficult sometimes... There are days I'm supposed to be listening to the concerns of the people, or dealing with changes in the laws, and all I can think about is her. I try to do things she would be proud of me for, but nothing can bring her back..."

Glinda couldn't speak for several moments. She felt like crying again, but forced herself to keep her composure and simply await Travion's reaction. He seemed to understand just what Glinda meant, and when his reply came, she was surprised by his thoughtful words.

"Three months ago... That was just around the time everyone was celebrating the death of the witch of the west... Glinda, was it...?" Travion asked this in the gentlest way he could, but Glinda still burst into tears again. She wanted to answer his query with only a nod, but gathered herself to reply with her voice.

"Yes," she answered simply. Then, she waited for Travion's response, which she expected to be either hostile or shocked. Instead, he silently reached for Glinda's hands, enfolding them in his own. He waited for her tears to ebb before he spoke again.

"What was her name?" Glinda looked up in surprise, and barely stfled a gasp. No one had ever asked her that question.

"You mean you really want to know?? People here in the city spit on the ground if anyone says her name out loud. There are so few that know it in the first place. Most people didn't want to know her at all. At first even I hated her. I didn't understand her... Elphaba was far more forgiving than I deserved."

"Elphaba," Travion repeated softly. "I can't say I've ever heard the name. But then, I don't pay attention to the gossip of the city. I knew that Morrible woman said all kinds of things about your friend, but only because she made such a fuss... I never paid attention to that drivel. What was Elphaba like, where did you meet her?"

Glinda frowned, and didn't answer his question. Instead, she asked one of her own. "Can we go somewhere more private first? I feel I can talk to you, Travion. But no one else would understand, and if someone overheard..."

"Of course we can stop somewhere," he answered immediately. "Just name it. You're more familiar with the city than me."

Glinda named a small cafe on the eastern edge of the city. Once Travion had given the destination to his carriage driver, their trip was swift... And silent. Glinda seemed to need the time to gather herself for the story she was about to tell. To his credit, Travion realized this and held his peace without complaint. Only once they were seated at a cozy table sipping hot drinks did Travion repeat his earlier questions. "Please Glinda," he began again. "Tell me about her? If this has been as much of a burden as it seems, you need to let some of it go."

Glinda nodded, but absently. Her mind was already focused on just how to begin telling her tale. After some hesitation, she settled on the way she wanted to do it, opened her mouth and began.

"We met at university. We were roommates, but at first we despised each other. She thought I was flighty and stupid, I thought she was overly opinionated...and a freak. I mean, none of us had ever seen a GREEN person before. She was right about me, but I couldn't have been more wrong about her. I didn't like her at all, even though I knew nothing about her. I either ignored her... or I played jokes on her. Everyone else did too, but that doesn't make it all right. The only one of us that never teased her was her sister, Nessa..."

When Glinda said that name, it caused her deep pain. She felt that if only she hadn't told Madame Morrible to use Nessa as the means to draw Elphaba out of hiding, things would be different now. So very different. When she continued, Glinda simply had to steer the subject away from Nessa.

"Elphaba was a very serious person. She worked hard at her studies, harder than I ever did. She was the favorite of most of our teachers... Including Madame Morrible. It was she that first praised Elphaba for her natural talent at magic. Eventually that led to Elphaba getting the chance to come here to the city and meet the wizard. She had dreamed of that day her whole life. It was from that day forward that everything started to crumble. The wizard used Elphaba and her talent for magic to achieve his own ends. When Elphaba realized what he'd done, she declared herself his enemy. In return, he sent the Gale Force after her. She was forced to flee the city and go into hiding. Then that whiny little farm girl crash landed here, and the wizard used her to do his bidding. He sent her in search of Elphaba, and told her to kill her if she had to. I played my own part in that, too. I sent that girl on the road to the city. If only I had known the wizard's intentions, I never would have sent her to see him. No matter how angry I was at Elphaba for taking my fiancee away from me, I never wanted her to die. And now I can never tell her that I understand why she and Fiyero fell in love."

Glinda fell silent, and soon began to sob again, quietly. Travion sat absorbing all she had said, and took his time responding. "Glinda," he whispered at last. "Maybe you can't help feeling somewhat responsible for everything that happened, but others are far more to blame than you. Madame Morrible and the wizard himself are really at fault, not you. They're the ones that hated Elphaba... but you loved your friend, I can see that. Thank you for sharing that with me, I know it was difficult."

It was several minutes more before Glinda's tears eased. Once they had, she quietly finished the last of her tea, which had gone cold. Then, she asked to return home, saying that she was very tired. Travion went out to inform his driver of their next destination, and then escorted Glinda out to the carriage. During the ride back to her house, he had whispered words of comfort, which had been just what Glinda needed. When they had parted at her doorstep, they had kissed softly, neither of them feeling the least bit awkward about it.

Over the following month, Glinda and Travion were nearly inseparable. He had even taken up temporary residence in the city, at an inn not far from Glinda's much grander home. Every waking moment that she wasn't occupied with city matters, Travion wined and dined her. He would surprise her with small, inexpensive gifts at every opportunity. Travion was a successful merchant in Gillikin country, but was not inclined to be flashy, or buy horrendously expensive things to impress Glinda with. She herself was much less inclined to lust after material things these days; Her life was quite comfortable, but she didn't go to excess in her purchases of new clothes, and kept on just enough servants in the household to ensure the cooking and cleaning were tended to.

Very early on the morning after she had discovered Elphaba and Fiyero were alive, Glinda had called on Travion at the inn where he was staying. As quietly as she could, she told him what had happened. Travion had shared in Glinda's joy, but soon realized her dilemma. Where Elphaba and Fiyero were remained a mystery. "Glinda, I can find them," he volunteered, even before she could make such a suggestion. "It may take time, but there are many places they won't be... the possible places they might choose are fewer than you think. I will find them for you."

Glinda was astounded. "Thank you," she stammered. "But how do you know all those things? You're a shop owner. Of course that's respectable... but you aren't some kind of spy. How will you manage?"

"I have my ways," he said with a twinkle in his eye. "I can do it quietly, no one else will suspect a thing. They won't be in any danger, and you will have your answer in a few weeks. How does that sound?"

"That sounds perfect." Glinda was all smiles, and Travion was glad to see her so happy. It had indeed taken him just over three weeks to ascertain Elphaba and Fiyero's location, by quietly contacting the many fellow merchants he knew in the various parts of Oz. He had soon come upon the details of Colverus' many recent trips to local markets, buying many more things than one person would need. Though there were several other possible leads, that one seemed most promising due to the relatively isolated area in which Colverus lived. Brief questioning of just a person or two had brought mention of his close friendship with the Winkie Prince Fiyero. Travion had canvassed the Vinkus personally, and soon knew just where Elphaba and Fiyero's new home was. He didn't draw very near, in fact the homestead remained just a speck on the horizon. But it was enough.

After returning with his joyous news, Travion had gone directly to Glinda's home to share it with her. She had wept with joy, but seemed strangely embarrassed by being so emotional in front of him.

Glinda shook herself out of her memories as the driver of the carriage spoke to tell her it should only be a few more hours until they reached their destination. After her initial vague directions, Glinda had told the seasoned coachman the exact route to take. She impressed upon him just how important it was that the trip be swift and as trouble-free as possible. Though they were now nearly there, Glinda didn't feel the overpowering relief she had expected to. Instead, she felt fear, and a pressing dread. She once again took out the Grimmerie, forcing herself to concentrate on the words of a page she had yet to decipher. Willing herself to SEE.

"Fiyero, I can't breathe..."

Elphaba's voice was now very weak, but it still roused Fiyero from his light slumber. He immediately rose from his chair beside the bed and moved to sit directly beside Elphaba, who lay flat in bed. He watched her just an instant, and knew she was telling the truth. Her chest was not rising or falling. No matter how she tried to draw breath, her only reward was a horrid, inhuman wheezing sound.

Fiyero quickly positioned himself so he could help Elphaba into a sitting position. Once she was leaning gently against him, he arranged several pillows behind her, then eased her back onto them. She was sitting nearly upright, and her breathing sounded much better for it.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I'm sorry I woke you up. My skin... It burns..." Elphaba turned her face away, grimacing in pain. Fiyero carefully and gently wiped her skin clean with one of the towels he had nearby, then reached for the nearly empty bottle of oil. As he began applying it, he whispered, "I'm sorry, Elphaba. I couldn't tell it was hurting you. Is it starting to feel better now?"

"A little... Everything hurts, every minute. I can... can hardly bear to move. It feels like... like knives in me."

Fiyero finished his task, then leaned over to kiss Elphaba's forehead. "I wish I could make it all go away. But you'll see, when Glinda gets here, she will fix it."

Elphaba tried to smile, but was overtaken by pain instead. After it ebbed again, she said, "She... She should be here soon. I can sense... sense her. But I'm so tired, Fiyero. So tired. I might not..."

Fiyero felt anger rise within himself again, but he held it in. He knew now was not the time for anger. Instead, he reached out and gently ran one hand through Elphaba's hair. He wanted to weep, but refused to show her he was just as frightened as she felt.

"I know you're scared. Ivy. But if Glinda is that close, I know you can make it. I'm sorry you're in so much pain... There's so little I can do. Do you need anything?"

"Just... just for you to stay, to talk to me. I know you must be tired... I need something else to think about. What was... what was your family like?"

Instead of settling onto the bed beside Elpaba, Fiyero rose and walked angrily to the window. He kept his back turned, staring at the closed drapes as he replied. "I never want to talk about them, Elphaba. I haven't been a boy for a long time. They are in my past. I have no family now."

"But why, Fiyero? Do they... Do they hate you?"

"No. I said I don't want to talk about them. Please, ask me something else. Please, Elphaba."

Elphaba could see Fiyero meant what he said. Their current topic of conversation was causing him deep pain, as it had the very few other times the subject had come up. Now, though, things were at a turning point. Elphaba knew she may well be dying. She had nothing to lose by asking the question that was pressing on her mind.

"Why do you want to pretend they don't exist? At least you still have a family... I've lost mine, and it was all my own fault. You shouldn't... Shouldn't turn your back on them. Whatever you did... Or they did, it can't be so bad that you have to... to throw everything away."

Fiyero turned quickly and strode back to Elphaba's bedside. "They do not exist to me because they turned their back on ME. I am not going to apologize to them, I have nothing to be forgiven for! That's all, Elphaba. I'm not going to talk about this anymore."

"It was me, wasn't it? It's all because... Because of me." Elphaba was far too sad for tears, She simply sat there in the bed, looking horribly sad and guilty. She wouldn't look up, even when Fiyero said her name in the tenderest way he knew how. When she would not meet his eyes, he went on speaking anyway.

"Ivy, I never wanted you to know about my parents. I knew how it would... How it HAS, hurt you. But their ignorance is their fault. When they told me they would never accept you, I stayed here. I didn't choose them, and I wouldn't. You are the one I love, and if they can't love you as they love me, they no longer have a son."

Elphaba seemed as if she wanted to continue the discussion, but she suddenly sagged against the pillows, completely spent. Fiyero immediately went to her, climbing in on the other side of the bed and putting an arm around her shoulders. After a moment, Elphaba's head came to rest on Fiyero's own shoulder.

"I'm sorry," was all she could say before her voice gave out. Fiyero held her more tightly, and after she seemed more relaxed, launched into a story about himself and Cole when they were boys. Elphaba listened without comment, but it was clear she was paying attention. Her eyes were no longer bright though, and seemed dead. It hurt Fiyero to look into them, but he knew looking away would be the worst thing he could do. Once his anecdote ended, Elphaba moved back onto her heap of pillows, though the process was slow and agonizing. Now, even in such an upright position, Elphaba could scarcely breathe. She opened her mouth, but Fiyero placed a finger over her lips.

"Don't talk," she said gently. "Save your energy. Once you're better we'll have years to talk about anything you want. Just concentrate on breathing... Please. She has to get here soon. She has to."

"That's what... What I'm trying to say. Answer the... Answer the door."