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Chapter Sixteen Don't Ever Let Me Go

Milo woke Lulu up as they pulled up to the Quatermaines.

"Hey," she said sleepily, her mouth curving into a smile. She couldn't stop doing that around him.

"You're home," Milo said, softly.

Lulu looked out the window and sighed. "Lucky me."

She turned again and caught his eye, sadness immediately drifting into hers. They stared at each other, both wishing they could drive off and start another road trip.

(Don't you wanna go for a ride?

Just keep your hands inside.

And make the most out of life.

Now don't you take it for granted!

Life is like a mean machine

It made a mess out of me

It left me caught between

like an angry dream

I was stranded

And I'm steady but I'm starting to shake

And I don't know how much more

I can take ) ( Rob Thomas)

Spinelli cried, "At least you have a home! I'm homeless! A homeless genius hacker with no internet access."

"You can stay with me," Lulu said "There's room. The Q's won't even notice you, more than likely."

"The Jackal go unnoticed?" Jason asked "Hmm. Doubt it."

"You want custody of him?" Lulu asked

"He's all yours," Jason said.

"Stone Cold, won't you miss me?"

Jason shook his head.

"Harsh! Can we at least do lunch sometimes?"

Jason raised an eyebrow.

"He'd love to," Lulu answered for Jason. "Jason is just shy and doesn't express himself very well. Right, Morgan?"

"Princess," Jason smiled and said, with laughter in his voice, "Get out of my car."

"Love you too!" Lulu said "Smooches, oppressor!"

"Smooches!" Spinelli called as they piled out of the car.

Lulu looked back into the back seat, "See you soon, Milo?"

Milo nodded. He liked the idea of getting to know her better but had an uneasy feeling they might never be as close as they were on the road trip. He wished it could have lasted forever.

And even that might not be long enough for him.

He watched Lulu walking up to the door.

Jason let out a breath, watching Milo's sad expression, then barked out "Well, go after her!"

"Really, sir?"

Changing his tune, from what he usually said the whole trip, Jason told Milo "Don't let me stop you."

Milo bolted from the car.

Jason smile. What a bunch of goofy kids, he thought

"Wait up!" Milo jogged over to her.

Spinelli said, "Forget to say good bye to me, Crazy eyes? I didn't think you cared..."

Milo gave him a look.

Spinelli said, "I'll tour the grounds while you two talk. See that boat house you told me about, Lulu. Maybe Sam would like to meet me there tonight..."

Spinelli wandered off mumbling about "The goddess, how do I love you, let me count the ways, I love you like I love crunchy peanut butter..."

Lulu and Milo's eyes met. He said, "Thank you for inviting me on the trip. You didn't have to.."

"I did. For my sanity. I knew you would make it a lot easier to handle being stuck with Jason and all his rules. " she paused, thinking of every moment of the trip.

When Milo listened to her talk, caring about her feelings, when he smiled and made her feel special, when he kissed her on a dare, danced with her, carried her through a hotel lobby in her night gown. Then she had kissed him, in the car, with her whole heart.

That kiss can never be duplicated again, Lulu thought, it was too precious, too perfect, it was a one of a kind.

She added. "You really came through for me, Milo."

"Anytime."

She moved closer. "I believe you mean that."

"I do." He reached out and took her hand.

The door to the mansion opened.

"Where have you been, young lady?" Edward roared

Dillon and Tracy stood there next to him.

"What is this?" asked Dillon, looking at them holding hands.

"She's replaced you, son. Obviously." Tracy said

"What? You did?" asked Dillon, despite the fact he had a girlfriend.

Lulu looked at Milo, "I have to go deal with them. They're my family. Sort of."

"I understand."

She hugged him.

"Bye," her words were soft as a breeze brushing over his skin. In the one word he thought he heard:

I'll miss you

I could love you

But I don't know if I'll ever get the chance.

Milo wasn't positive but he thought he heard the sound of a heart breaking. And it was his.

Then Lulu pushed past the Quatermaines and back into the world where her old life took place. The world far from Milo.

It felt even more lonely than it used to.

(This is it
now

Everybody get down

This is all I can

take

This is how a heart breaks

You take a hit

now

You feel it break down

Make you stay wide awake

This is how a heart breaks ) ( Rob Thomas)

Milo prayed to God he was wrong about the last look he saw in Lulu's eyes, the last way her words sounded. But he didn't think he was.

LATER THAT NIGHT

AFTER READING the kids bedtime stories, Jason walked down the hall and stood in the doorway of Carly's room. Earlier he had spoken to Sam, telling her all about the trip and what happened.

Now it was time to talk to Carly.

He leaned against the door frame. Long moments passed where they stared at each other.

(So here we are alone again.


Didn't think it'd come to this.


And to know it all began
with just a

little kiss) ( Janet Jackson)

Carly spoke first. "Should I ask? Or are we back to pretending nothing is going on?"

"Ask."

"Are you ready to come home yet, Jase? Don't you think you've kept you're family waiting long enough?"

She knew phrasing the question that why would get to him.

Softly he teased, "When are you ever, ever, ever going to start playing fair?"

"I'm saving that for my next lifetime."

"Let me guess you have a plaaan," he drug out the word "where we end up together in that one too?"

"Got it all figured out."

He smiled.

Carly couldn't wait any longer. She jumped off the bed, drug him in the room and closed the door. She angled herself in front of him as he rested against it. Her hands moved to cup the back of his head, her fingers moved slowly through his hair.

"Mmm," Jason said

"I should have snowed us in years ago," Carly told him

Words were the last thing on his mind as he pulled him into a kiss as hot as a wildfire.

She eased away first. "Tell me that you are mine again."

"Aren't we beyond words?" He started to kiss her neck, her shoulders, and just as he was moving lower Carly told him, "Nice try. I want the words."

Jason straightened and met her eyes. Then he moved around her and sat on the bed.

"I haven't figured it all out in my own head yet," he started "All I know is I couldn't stay away..."

(I've come too close to happiness
To have it swept away


Don't think I can take the pain
No never fall again) ( Janet Jackson)

He reached out his hand to her and took it. Standing between his legs, she looked down at him and said, "You can tell me anything. If this is just about sex..."

"Come on, Carly. Don't say that."

"No?"

"If only it could be that simple," he joked, his eyes twinkling.

"Hey!" she laughed

He pulled her onto his lap. She wrapped her legs around his back. "Ah, my favorite place in the world," she sighed.

His hands ran up her back and into her hair as his mouth moved over her skin.

She said into his ear, "I want you to make love to me everyday for the rest of my life. You up for that?"

Jason stilled. " I still think we'll both end up broken."

Carly met his eyes, making sure he was there with her and not lost in his head where he could only hear his own doubts and fears screaming at him.

Meaning every word of it with all she was, Carly told Jason, "I think we'll both end up whole."

He wanted to believe her. And though his defenses were crumbling, though he wanted to drown in the feeling of her touching him, and him kissing her, and all that crazy love she poured all over him, it still made him tremble to think of diving into this.

But, at this point, it was more than he could stand to leave. It would be like tearing a piece of himself out to walk away right now. It would be like... what he always feared losing her would feel like.

Jason Morgan realized he was in already, in all the way, his choice was made.

Carly whispered, "Trust me with your heart. Can you do that? This whole 'being on a break' thing is getting really old. I want you back. I miss you like crazy. Your my love, Jase, my only real love..."

"Why do you always make me cry?"

Carly smiled. "Because you know I am right!"

Jason laid back on the bed pulling her forward.

"I thought I could hold out.. I didn't tell you no all those times to hurt you.. I really thought I could not come back to you," he said

"You know I want you more than anything else in this world. But if don't want me.. in your heart... then.." her voice broke "you should leave, Jase."

Then she sighed, "I can't believe I am kicking you out of my bed."

"Hey now, it's not that I don't want you in my heart. You are in my heart. You're my heart. There is no doubts about that. And I'm not going anywhere, not without you, not anymore."

Carly was crying as she kissed him, and their tears mingled together.

(Cause I'm falling in love with
you again

Hold me
Hold me


Don't ever let me go


Say it just one time
Say you love me


God knows I do
Love you


Again ) ( Janet Jackson)

Jason sat up again, pulling off his shirt. "You are going to have to forgive me. Again."

"Okay," Carly agreed happily because she could tell by his voice, by the way his eyes were dark with desire for her, that he wasn't about to break her heart, that he was back for good. "For what?"

"I can't wait a second longer," he said.

She stood up and started to take off her clothes.

"Let me," he said

Her eyes were shining as he slid her top off. "I just want you to say one more thing," Carly told him between kisses.

"Since when do you like talking this much during this?"

"Oh, I always like talking about you and me. Favorite subject of mine."

Jason picked her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist, and he carried her to the bed.

"Say," Carly ordered as she smiled up at him "that you were crazy to stay away so long."

"Okay, I was crazy. You make me crazy. My god Carly..." his last words were moaned as her hands roamed over him.

"I love this..."

"I know that..." Carly smiled sexily

Minutes later, looking in his eyes, she told him. "I love you, Jase."

His mouth seared with hers igniting a heat that made words impossible. But later, when she was sighing in his ears, Jason told Carly "There should be a word that means more than love..."

At that moment she didn't answer him but in the years to come she did think of them as two people who found something better than love, because what they had was that and more and more and more.

It was Jason and Carly Morgan, the best three words ever strung together as far as she was concerned.

Coming up- An epilogue