Act II: At the Dawn of Prophecy.
Scene I. "Fargoth's Song" – A parody of Beauty and the Beast's "Gaston's Song" © Disney.

Fargoth in a crowded jail with a fellow Bosmer cellmate amongst other various prisoners.

Fargoth: Who does that Nelle think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man. No one plays games with Fargoth.
Bosmer: Heh, yeah, cellmate. You're right!
Fargoth: Jailed! Foiled! Publicly humiliated…it's more than I can bear.
Bosmer: Not to mention upped by a female thief. A Nord at that…
Fargoth: …thanks for your help.
Bosmer: Of course! Fargoth, you've got to pull yourself together.
Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Fargoth
Looking as good as your rump
There's no guy who'd ever want to be you, Fargoth
Especially when taking a bump.
There's no man in town as loathsome you
You're nobody's favorite guy
Seyda Neen's shamed and disgraced by you
And it's not very hard to see why

No one's short like Fargoth
No one has a wart like Fargoth
No one's snort is incredibly loud as Fargoth
For there's no man in town half as stocky
Ugly little Bosmer
You can ask any Gro, Dar, or Hlaalu
And they'll tell you whose team you'll never be on

Prisoners:
No one's been like Fargoth
A bumpkin like Fargoth
Bosmer:
No one's got a swell bruise on his chin like Fargoth
Fargoth:
As a small wood elf, yes, I get intimidated
Prisoners:
My what a guy, that Fargoth!
Give five Huzzahs!
Give twelve You S'wit's!
Bosmer:
Fargoth is worst
And the rest are all twits.

Prisoners:
No one runs like Fargoth
Dodges fights like Fargoth
Guard:
In a whining match, nobody whines like Fargoth
Bosmer:
For there's no one as vulgar and two-faced
Fargoth:
As you see, I've got insults to spare
Bosmer:
Not a bit of him's honest or straitlaced
Fargoth: —That's right
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair!

Prisoners:
No one cries like Fargoth
Guard:
Loses wits like Fargoth
Bosmer:
In a losing match, nobody wins like Fargoth
Fargoth:
I'm especially good at not succeeding
Prisoners:
Ten points for Fargoth!

Fargoth:
When I was a lad, I stole four Kwama eggs
Ev'ry Morndas to help me get rich
And now that I'm grown I steal fifteen eggs
And now I pretty much live in a ditch

Prisoners:
No one sneaks like Fargoth
Gets called a pipsqueak like Fargoth
Bosmer:
Then goes mutt'ring about like a freak like Fargoth
Fargoth:
I use curses in all of my foul debating
Prisoners:
Say it again
Who's a wimp among mer?
And then say it once more
Who's the wood elf next door?
Who's one giant failure?
Don't you know? Can't you infer?
Ask his aunts and the evil Dagoth
There's just one guy in town who's got none of it down
Bosmer:
And his name is F-A-R-G-O-T-H
Prisoners: Fargoth!

Captain: Who's singing?
Guard: Uh—no one!
Captain: Bah…get up here already.
Guard: Y-Yes sir!

Exit Guard.

Fargoth: Thanks for the support, friend.
Bosmer: Sure thing, Fargoth. As soon as I get out of here, I'm going to find that Nelle and kill her; I promise you that. I'm not long for this prison.
Fargoth: A noble thing indeed! How will you go about this?
Bosmer: Oh, I have a most devious plan.
Fargoth: Well, I like that. Say, what's your name, pal?
Bosmer: Gaenor.
Fargoth: Well met.

End Scene.

Scene II. "The Heroic Life" - A parody of Beauty and the Beast's "Belle's Song" © Disney.

Nelle:
Little place
It's a quiet province
Every era
Like the one before
Little town
Full of crazy people
Bold enough to say…

Townspeople:
B'vek! S'wit! N'wah! Serjo!

Nelle:
There goes the trader in his shop, like always
The same old books and scrolls to sell
Every morning just the same
Since the Morndas that I came
To this uneventful town…

Trader: Good morning, Nelle.
Belle: Morning, Sera.
Trader: Where are you off to?
Belle: The smith's shop
I just finished off a bloody battle
With a bandit and an ogrim and a—
Trader: —That's nice. Maril! The booklets, hurry up!

Townsfolk:
Look there she goes, outlander, no question
Boldly stoic, can't you tell?
Ner'varine the newly crowned
Reincarnate, the fate bound.
No denying she's a crazy girl that Nelle.

Nelle:
There must be more than this heroic life.

Townsfolk:
Look there she goes that girl is so debonair.
I wonder if she's feeling well
With a wild, insane claim,
That the gods she will maim
What a rebel to the rest of us is Nelle.

Nelle:
Oh, isn't this annoying?
It's the Temple again hassling me.
Here's where the guards start laughing
But they won't know I'm for real 'til trial three

Woman:
Now, it's no wonder that her name is legend
She'll surely go through hell
Shopkeeper:
Though she wears nice armor
She was once a prisoner
Very different is her story
Townsfolk:
Very different is her story
Yes, different is her tale that Nelle.

Llendo:
Right from the moment that I saw her, met her
She'd rather kiss a guar named Grell
Here in town there's only me
Who is good enough for she
So I'm making plans to woo and steal from Nelle.

"Acrobats":
Look there he goes
Isn't he roguish?
Oh, Nels Llendo
He's quite a man
He stole my heart
Then stole my amulet.
He's such a cheap, quick, and lying conman.

Nelle:
There must be more than this heroic life!

Llendo:
Just watch, I'm far too smart to have a wife!

Townsfolk:
Look there she goes a girl
Who's strong and crazy
A most legend'ry muthsera
It's a pity and a shame
They don't believe her claim
To be Indoril Nerevar
Yes, the Indoril Nerevar
The real Indoril Nerevar
That Nelle.

Exeunt all. End Act.

A word from M'aiq: A warm Khajiit thanks to Fargoth and Katherine Monet for their suggestions; may they both trip on warm sands. M'aiq likes song suggestions, so the prey would be wise to offer some. The same applies for calipers…
(Upcoming songs to be parodied: "Prince Ali", "Friend Like Me", and possibly others.)