Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Battlestar Galactica.

More fillers between episodes. I used the last chapter and rewrote it from Kara's perspective. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 2

The weight of guilt hung around her pushing all else away. She had to make this trip to the memorial corridor. She didn't want to look again at the faces that were lost forever, but she felt she needed to, anything to unburden herself from the black haze in which she was living. Guilt. It seemed she always had it with her.

Kara stood back and stared after pinning Kat's picture to the board. She wouldn't forget her, she never forgot any of them. She had cost the fleet a good pilot, damn near as good as she was. With her mission complete, Kara stood for a moment and bowed her head to say a few prayers for Kat. She didn't know how long she stood there, but when she raised her head, she could feel the tears that had streamed down her cheeks.

Her mission had absorbed her complete attention, she was taken off guard when someone laid a hand on her shoulder. She quickly glanced up seeing that it was Lee. "Oh Gods, why here, why now," she thought. Kara greeted him with a short "hi,' never breaking her stare from the wall. He had come with words she didn't want to hear. How it wasn't her fault, Kat knew the consequences of her actions. He didn't know about their conversation, how she had told Kat exactly what she thought about her past and her deception aboard the Galactica. Taking a short breath, she told Lee what he already knew by now. She was a complete frack up, a disappointment to everyone. She pulled away from him praying he would walk away and leave her alone.

Lee did the last thing she expected, in less time than it took to take a breath, Kara found herself enveloped in Lee's arms. She was reeling from the shock of feeling him against her again, it had been so long. Kara could no longer hold herself together, she felt her body sigh and shutter with emotion. Lee whispered softly words of encouragement and gradually she felt herself regain an emotional balance. She was completely stunned when she found herself being towed into a storage locker by Lee.

"What now," she thought to herself, all she wanted to do was return to her rack with a bottle of Chief's rotgut, and find a little peace for a while. Lee switched on a dim overhead light. Kara couldn't stand any longer, she slid down next to a large crate. Gods, she hated this, emotion was messy, and she wasn't good at showing it or dealing with it. She buried her face in her hands wishing it would all go away.

Lee returned to her side and sat down next to her leaning against the crate. He embraced her and she didn't know whether to enjoy it or run. They sat there for several moments as they let the quiet and solitude surround them. As the comfort he offered began to warm her, Kara felt Lee brush her hair away from her forehead and place a gentle kiss on the spot he bared.

For Kara, it felt has if the last year had melted away. They were once again Starbuck and Apollo, warriors, friends, drinking buddies, and star-crossed lovers. It was the last part she had the most difficulty with, she loved Lee, but knew she would destroy him. It didn't make loving him easy at all. They sat there quietly for a moment more until Lee broke the silence.

"You need to talk, I need to listen," he urged gently.

Kara didn't know what to say, so much had happened. She wasn't one to bare her soul to anyone. Lee knew more about her than anyone else in the fleet, but it didn't make confiding in him any easier.

"Lee, I can't, not now, not after everything," Kara replied.

After a moment of tense silence, she knew he wouldn't take "no," for an answer this time, so she took a shallow breath and asked, "Where do you want me to start?" Her voice sounded foreign to her ears, raspy, choked with emotion. She looked him in the eye for the first time since he confronted her in the corridor.

"Anything at all," was all she heard. Where to start? She owed Lee the truth.

"I'm sorry, Lee. I'm sorry for everything. I have carried this with me since the day I married Sam. What I did…" She couldn't go on, she had a flash of memory, of his face on the morning after her wedding. The pain that was etched in his features haunted her to this day because she had put it there. Taking a deep breath to say more, she felt Lee lift her chin, their eyes locked and held.

"I'm sorry too Kara. You're right, what I did making love to you when I knew you cared for Sam. I wasn't one of my better decisions. I think I felt trapped, I knew you wanted to settle on New Caprica and I couldn't bear the thought of letting you go without knowing how I felt. It was why I sought you out when I should have been elsewhere. I knew after the shock of your marriage that I pushed you towards it. You even said that night you weren't getting married. I knew you were with Sam, but it didn't stop me. I couldn't stop. I don't regret it, but I'm sorry." Lee explained quietly.

She wasn't sorry either, how could she be, it was the most remarkable night of her life. Kara knew a life with Lee was impossible. He was honorable and good, she was difficult and less than honorable.

"I'm not sorry about what we did either. I'm sorry that I hurt you. Gods, Lee I never meant to hurt you. When I woke up that morning all I could think about was how it was the most beautiful night of my life, but in the same moment, I knew if I let "us" happen, it would destroy us. I didn't want to lose you, so I did the one thing that pushed you away forever. I told you I'm a frack up," she declared and buried her head against his shoulder unable to look at his face.

She felt him move closer to her ear and whisper softly, "I still care for you Kara, regardless of what you think. I hurt for a long time. I was furious with you, I hated myself for what I had done. I cursed you for all the unhappiness in my life, but I know you weren't solely responsible. We both had a hand in the situation."

What to say now? Kara was quiet as she and Lee thought about the past and the future between them. There as this undeniable attraction. Was it wrong or right? Had she made a mistake in pushing Lee away? This force between them brought them together again and again. Kara in her impatience broke the silence.

"So what now, how do we move on?"

"I don't know if I can move on. Kara… I've never stopped loving you. I married Dee because I thought it would fill the void you left. The only thing I filled was my face and that didn't work at all, you saw the result."

"You were looking pretty pudgy there when we first returned to Galactica." Kara emphasized with a small smile and a poke to his midsection.

He grabbed her hand and squeezed as he responded, "Thanks, I'll remember that."

Gods, this felt so natural, talking with Lee, joking about something they both found humorous. Something happened in that moment, Kara felt the irresistible pull she always found when she was near him.

"Lee…" Kara whispered. She heard barely heard Lee's response as his lips met hers. Months faded away, the pain and guilt she had carried disappeared with his touch. His kiss was gentle and soothing, but quickly turned demanding and forceful. Kara reveled in the taste and feel of Lee. After several moments, Lee pulled away.

"We can't do this Kara…" Lee breathed only inches away. His heart was beating wildly under her hand. She knew he felt it too.

"Lee, when have you ever known me to do the right thing?"

Kara knew she was right. This was what she was best at, breaking the rules and doing what she damned well pleased. Sometimes, it was an advantage, like when she was in her Viper, other times it just landed her in trouble and hurt those around her.

Lee sat back and shook his head. He grabbed her head on either side while brushing the hair from her eyes. Kara prayed he would kiss her again. She needed him, needed the healing qualities of his touch, his words, and his concern.

Her prayers where answered as he stated quietly, "Kara, I can't stop, Gods help me, but…"

She didn't resist, but melted into him. She felt the warm and pressure of his body against hers. They slid down until they were both lying facing each other on the floor of the storage locker. Kara could not get enough of Lee, it was as if she had starved for all those months without him. Lee held her has she cried and told him of her many secrets.

She started with the Farm back on Caprica. He didn't know, she hadn't shared with him her fear and pain. She remembered being angry with him after she returned to Astral Queen. She refused to share her experiences there. But now, now she could tell him of the destruction she saw, fighting with the blonde Cylon, and finding the small band of resistance fighters. She broke down when she told the story of being shot and waking up in the strange hospital. Kara could barely speak when she told him of the extra surgery they performed on her and the sight of the women she found, not to mention what she had been forced to do to them.

Her stories did not get easier, she felt the fear and anger as she told them. She told him of her imprisonment by the Cylon known as Leoben. She felt him tense when she explained how she couldn't sleep because she would wake up with him standing over her in the middle of the night. Time after time she would kill him only to have him return in a new body freshly downloaded. Again, she had to pause when she told him of Kacey, the daughter she believed was hers. Did anyone know how difficult it was to let her go? Kara told him about her resentment of the child and how she was frantic with worry when Kacey was severely injured. When she returned to the Galactica and Kacey was identified and torn from her arms by her real mother, a little bit of her died. She hated the idea of motherhood, but had embraced it and was going to be happy about it. It was a huge blow when she realized the child wasn't hers.

The hardest story to relay was that of her marriage. She tensed as she began to tell Lee of her unhappiness with Sam. Although she and Sam had their difficulties, she did care for him and this confession felt more like betrayal than kissing Lee in this storage locker. She continued telling Lee small incidents that had troubled her and Sam. She stopped when she was too tired to continue. Lee hugged her tightly and she felt warm and secure for the first time in many months. How would she ever be able to give this up?

To be continued…