Disclaimer, etc. in chapter 1.
Opiod Analgesics I (Codeine)
Greg looked up at Mom.
Doctor Dennis had gone away.
Mom was still upset.
She called it upset when he felt like everything inside him was going to burst because it had all turned rotten. Mom was upset.
And he liked Doctor Dennis but he wished this had never happened and they were back at home or on the train going to see the Frauenkirche. He'd been practicing all week how to say it right: Frow. En. Kir. K. The boy Kenny in 36 said that it was just a big dumb building but he was a liar.
Greg liked people on the train, hearing them talk German. They were called Germans and they talked German, and he was called American but he talked English. Mom had explained about England but she agreed with him that why wasn't it just called American, the way he talked?
He knew about America because Mom said he was born there and he remembered when he was really, really tiny, a lot smaller than he was now because he was big now, that she said all the time "When the war is over and Daddy comes home, we'll go to America."
He knew about the war. That was the big far away thing that everyone went to and didn't come back from for a long time. Dad was always happy when he came back from the war. He always brought a new airplane. First the airplanes were just metal but now because the teachers said he was a gifted young boy and should be challenged by his environment, Dad brought home airplanes in boxes and showed him how to put them together.
Dad always called him Marine and said when he was big enough, he could fly the airplanes too like Dad did. Then Dad put his right hand over his eye, it was called a salute he knew now, and said "Semper Fi Marine." He knew he couldn't say Semper Fi back yet just Yes Sir or Thank You Sir because you had to earn it and you couldn't talk back to Dad anyway. Then Dad always had to go back to the war and Mom said again how when the war was over and Dad was home, they would all go to America and he could have a dog at last. The boy Kenny in 36 said how he always had a dog in America but Greg knew Kenny was a lousy, rotten liar but he still wanted a dog anyway.
Cautiously, he breathed in deeper. The sharp stab in his shoulder came back and he whimpered before he could stop himself.
Mom looked down at him when the noise ran out of his mouth even though he didn't open his mouth and she looked ready to burst and then her warm hand came down soft on his head. He didn't mean to whimper. You couldn't be a Marine and fly planes if you whimpered a lot. Plus big boys never whimpered at all and he was a big boy, a whole four years old which was two times two years old which he'd been two years ago when he was very small and Dad brought him metal airplanes. He would be five next year but you couldn't make two go into five though you could make five times two. That made ten.
Mom looked away again like she did sometimes when she said she wasn't crying but he knew she was but she wasn't really a liar. He wished this had never happened. He had been sitting on the kitchen counter playing Ambush while Mom made lunch when one of the good guys had fallen off. He reached out to catch the good guy and then he was on the floor and he couldn't breathe. He didn't remember a loud crack but Mom said to Doctor Dennis there was a loud crack. He didn't even cry. He wanted to, but he couldn't. When he could breathe again, he sat up. Mom was worried and touching him all over, mostly on his head, and asking what hurt, but he didn't have to say what hurt because when he sat up, his left arm didn't sit up with him. He knew it was his left arm and not his right arm because he tried to make an 'L' with his right thumb and forefinger and it came out backwards, so it was his left arm that didn't sit up. It just stayed in his lap. It hurt a lot but he didn't cry. Mom told Doctor Dennis that he just grunted but he didn't remember that either.
But it didn't hurt very much anymore. Just when he breathed deep like before he went swimming. He wasn't going swimming though so he didn't have to breathe deep. But sometimes he wanted to.
His foot kicked accidentally against the metal table and made a bang. He stopped swinging his legs, even though he hadn't realized he had been swinging them in the first place. But when he looked at Mom she had a little smile that meant it was okay about kicking the table but the big thing wasn't okay yet. But then her hand touched his head warm again and it was okay enough.
He looked around the room for the billionth time. Nothing was very interesting in this room. Not like the room they'd just come from with the big metal machine that was shivery when he had to take his shirt off, and that had really really hurt but he was big and didn't cry any, but he wasn't scared when he had to sit inside it and hold his breath deep like he was swimming because Doctor Dennis said it was going to take a picture of his bones inside and he would get to look at it and maybe take it home.
That was kind of fun even if it hurt and he really had gotten to look at the picture of his bones. But Doctor Dennis had taken it away and now the room was boring again. He read the big black letters on the poster that showed the insides of someone's ear again:
O-T-I-T-I-S. M-E-D-I-A.
He tried to sound it out inside his head but that wasn't very fun. Instead he wondered why the ear on the poster was red and pink and yellow when the picture of his insides was black and white.
He almost asked Mom why the picture was one color but his own picture was another when Doctor Dennis came back. He had a bottle and a spoon. Greg's lips automatically tried to squeeze inside his mouth like they did when Gramma kissed him. She smelled like medicine too.
"All right, Mrs. House," Doctor Dennis said, "this will just about fix him up."
Then Doctor Dennis looked at him and bent down a little.
"How are you doing, Marine Greg?" Doctor Dennis asked in a serious voice that was really just play-serious.
Doctor Dennis called him Marine too but it was Marine Greg not just Marine. He wished Dad would call him Marine Greg sometimes. Doctor Dennis was tall and had big muscles like Dad did.
"All right, sir," he answered. Men in uniforms were called sir and women were called ma'am.
"Okay, Marine," Doctor Dennis said with a big smile. "But I bet your shoulder still hurts, huh?"
"Yes, sir," he said in a small voice, thinking that it wasn't his shoulder that was broken, it was his collar bone, or clavicle, which Doctor Dennis should know because he'd just said so ten minutes ago when he brought the black and white picture of Greg's insides and showed how one of the ghost-white curvy lines had a crack in it. That was his collar bone. He wanted to touch it because he still liked to touch things when he named them, but it would hurt to touch it.
"Well, this is going to make it stop hurting," Doctor Dennis said.
Greg watched him open the bottle and pour out some red stuff. He smelled cherries.
He knew he shouldn't talk back to adults called sir but he couldn't help it.
"It doesn't hurt much, sir," he said bravely.
Doctor Dennis paused. "You're a tough Marine, aren't you, Marine Greg?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well, even tough marines can have hurts sometimes and they need some medicine to make the hurt stop."
Greg cringed and tried to move back from Doctor Dennis but he took too big a breath and his clavicle stabbed again.
"It's okay, Marine Greg," Doctor Dennis said smiling. "This medicine tastes good. Like candy."
Greg watched him warily. Medicine never tasted like candy. He knew that. But he also sensed that he had no choice in the matter. Sure, he could scream and kick, but his clavicle really did hurt and he wasn't a baby anymore. At least it wasn't a shot.
Reluctantly, he opened his mouth.
The thick, syrupy liquid tasted like the cherry lollipop he'd discovered in a washing machine once, but worse. His instinct was to spit it out except he'd done that once when Dad was home and Dad made him stand with his nose touching the corner where the living room walls met for an hour and he couldn't stop coughing the whole time. So he swallowed the foul stuff, aware that he was making an ugly face but unable to stop it.
"There you go," Doctor Dennis said. "Not so bad, huh?"
"No, sir," Greg answered, knowing it was a lie.
He knew what happened to liars. Liars didn't get any dinner and had to take their baths in cold water before they went to bed early. But he couldn't say that it didn't taste good either because that was also calling Doctor Dennis a liar. On the gigantic exam table, his feet over a meter from the ground, Greg tried to make himself smaller so Doctor Dennis wouldn't notice him or the lie.
"That's a good marine," Doctor Dennis said.
He sounded like he was still smiling, but Greg didn't dare look up.
"Good marines get to pick their own color."
Now Greg did look up, too curious to stop himself.
Doctor Dennis held out a jar of lollipops. Where he'd found that jar, Greg didn't know. Doctor Dennis smiled as Greg cautiously reached for a red one. A real red cherry lollipop would fix the nasty taste in his mouth, but he wasn't sure he could trust the reality he saw unfolding before him. Usually he got a shot when he went to the doctor, after cold metal against his chest and a wooden stick stuck down his throat. This was new.
He had the lollipop in his hand. It was his now. He smiled very carefully. Sometimes if he smiled too big or at the wrong time he was being a smart aleck and smart alecks were nearly as bad as liars.
"That's a good boy." Doctor Dennis smiled again and put the jar down. He made a funny "oops" face. "A good marine," he said.
Greg smiled big. It was okay to smile big after the "oops" face.
"Okay, Mrs. House." Doctor Dennis turned to Mom with the medicine bottle and explained how he would have to take the medicine every four hours for a few days and then only when it hurt bad.
He listened, but he also wondered if he could have the lollipop now or if he should wait until they were back home. Gently, he touched the ridge in the middle of the lollipop where the stick was, trying not to make the plastic wrapper rustle. Children were quiet when adults spoke. So were children's toys.
Doctor Dennis talked to Mom for a long time, but he didn't know what Doctor Dennis said because the little ridges in the plastic wrapper on the lollipop were so interesting. His head felt funny like he had water in his ears but the wrapper was so interesting that he didn't care. He wanted to touch the plastic ridges but his arms felt heavy and good like when he was falling asleep and the lollipop seemed so far away now.
Next thing he knew, Doctor Dennis was talking to him again. He smiled at Doctor Dennis. Doctor Dennis was nice.
He watched quietly as Doctor Dennis slipped a dark blue sleeve with a white strap over his head like he was getting dressed, then put his arm inside the sleeve and adjusted the strap.
Doctor Dennis asked if it felt all right.
When he said Yes, Sir, his voice sounded far away like when he had water in his ears from swimming.
Doctor Dennis talked to Mom again. Now he stared at the blue sleeve over his arm. Doctor Dennis gave it a name because everything has a name but he couldn't remember the name. He felt sleepy and good.
Then his stomach felt like throwing up but he didn't throw up he just felt like he was going to. He tried to make a bad face but his face was sleepy and didn't want to move. He felt okay anyway because he usually threw up by now if he felt like this and since he didn't throw up he felt okay.
He didn't really want to get down when Doctor Dennis moved the stool under his feet, but Mom and Doctor Dennis helped him and he felt good standing beside Mom like he felt good sitting on the table. Except he kind of wanted to lie down.
"I'll call a pickup for you," Doctor Dennis said. "He shouldn't walk too far right now."
Greg watched Doctor Dennis' shoes move. Who shouldn't walk too far? But he didn't care anyway.
He kind of fell asleep because next someone was lifting him into a jeep and he tried to wake up because he never got to ride in jeeps and it always looked so fun, but then he was lifted out of the jeep in front of his house and he didn't remember the ride at all. He would tell Kenny in 36 that he did, though, even if it was a lie, because Kenny was a liar and liars deserved what they got.
Then Mom took off his pants and helped him into pajamas and he knew he was sleepy but it wasn't even nap time yet and he didn't take naps in his pajamas. It wasn't even lunch time yet, but his stomach didn't feel like eating. Mom moved the blue sleeve and took off his shirt and then he saw the big purple bruise and he woke up a little bit, but it didn't hurt, not even when Mom put his pajama shirt on and put the blue sleeve back.
He tried to climb into his bed but the bed went in circles and his arm wouldn't do what he told it to do, it only tugged the blue sleeve. He wanted to tell Mom that he wasn't that sleepy and he didn't mean to fall off the counter and break his clavicle, but that was whining and whiners had to go to bed early without any dinner the next night too. Even if he didn't want any dinner right now because his stomach felt like throwing up, he didn't want to put on his pajamas before lunch either. He never had to go to bed this early before. He didn't try to break his clavicle, he didn't mean it. He tried to tell Mom that but his mouth was full of peanut butter and he couldn't make the words come out.
Mom picked him up, telling him how heavy he was, and helped him snuggle under the blanket. He felt good lying down even if he didn't want to go to bed early because he hadn't meant to fall off the counter.
The ceiling ran fast in circles so he closed his eyes. He was a good Marine. When he was bad he wasn't a Marine he was only Son. He wasn't being Son, he tried to tell Mom, he was a Marine, and he didn't cry or complain or tell lies or make noise when adults talked.
He felt himself falling into the bed until he breathed in quickly and knew it was Mom sitting next to him. He didn't understand why he felt so funny and sleepy but good Marines didn't talk back and ask too many questions, and the ceiling ran in circles again when he opened his eyes.
Mom said Go to sleep.
She sounded worried but he felt good and sleepy and his mouth was stuffed with peanut butter.
Mom smelled close and warm and her hand touched his head and felt nice.
His eyes were closed.
He was falling asleep.
Falling and falling and falling.
Asleep.