Lyrics are again from 'Untitled.'
Nick couldn't believe the sudden change in events. Just when everything was getting back to normal...
He was sitting in the waiting room with Warrick, Sara and Catherine while Grissom had yet another conversation with the doctor. Nick hadn't spoken a word since he got to the hospital. Even if he was able to formulate words, he had nothing to say. Nobody knew what to say, so they just didn't say anything at all.
Sara was pacing back and forth behind where Catherine, Warrick and Nick were seated. Nick was slouched down with the back of his head resting against the back of the plastic seat. Warrick had his right arm wrapped around Catherine's shoulders. Nick's eyes were closed and his arms were crossed over his chest. He opened them and sat up when he heard Brass walk into the waiting room.
Brass approached slowly and shook his head as he sat down next to Nick, who smiled sadly. "I'm sorry kid." Was all Brass could say, and it was enough.
They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Grissom came back in and sighed heavily as he stood in front of them.
"Nick..." He said softly. "You should come with me."
Nick nodded once before standing on unsteady legs and following Grissom back down the hall. He turned around and looked at Warrick, who tried to smile reassuringly but failed despite his best effort.
Grissom led Nick back to where he had been standing before in front of Greg's room. Greg's doctor greeted Nick with a handshake.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Ulrich." Nick just nodded. "I'm very sorry to tell you this...but it's not looking good for Greg here." Nick took a deep breath in prepartation. "Greg was knocked unconcious probably right away. There were severe injuries to his spine, neck and brain. There was massive internal bleeding. He stopped breathing a few times during surgery, adding to the brain damage, which caused him to slip into a coma."
"Is he ever gonna wake up?" Nick's voice was broken and quiet.
Ulrich shook his head slowly. "It's hard to say right now, but it's very unlikely. And if he does, he won't remember anything. He'd have the mental capacity of a 10 year old, if that."
Nick clenched his jaw as tears started rolling down his cheeks. "Can I see him?" He asked.
Dr. Ulrich nodded. "Of course you can. If you'll excuse me, I've got to see another patient. I'll be back with the test results that'll tell us more about Greg's condition." And with that, he was gone.
Nick swallowed the lump in his throat before turning to Grissom and smiling weakly.
"You can do this Nicky." He said with a slow nod.
Nick didn't respond. He took a deep breath and walked into Greg's room before he could talk himself out of it. He pulled a chair up to the left side of Greg's bed and took Greg's left hand in his right. Nick looked at all the cuts, bruises and scrapes on Greg's face and arms. His spiky blond hair was a neat mess as always, but his skin was so pale and cold Nick had to keep looking at the monitor next to him to make sure he was still alive.
With tears rolling down his cheeks, Nick was finally able to speak. "Hey Greggo." He said softly. "I'm so sorry this happened to you...I wish it was me. After all you've been through...I don't wanna believe this is happening." The tears started falling faster and Nick had to choke down his sobs so he could speak. "I love you so much...you're the most amazing person in the world. You don't deserve this...it should be me not you...I wish it was me and not you." Nick reached up slowly and ran his hand through Greg's soft blond hair and smiled slightly. "I tried my best to protect you, I really did. I'm sorry I didn't do a better job. I wish I was good enough to be the kind of person you deserve...the least I can say is I tried." Nick swallowed another lump in his throat and forced his voice to be steady. "I love you Greg." Nick stood and kissed Greg's lips softly and squeezed his hand gently before his legs carried him out of the hospital room and back into the waiting room chair next to Warrick.
Nick let his head fall into his hands. Warrick put his arm around his best friend's shoulders and did his best to be comforting. But all Nick wanted was for Greg to be okay.
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
Nick sat on the floor against the wall outside of Greg's room. He was hugging his knees to his chest and trying to keep from screaming as he sat next to Warrick and had a staring contest with the floor. A million thoughts were rushing through his mind, and he couldn't make sense of any of them.
He was listening to Grissom and Dr. Ulrich's conversation without even realizing it. He felt his stomach drop when he heard the final tests results on Greg and what the possibilities and everything were. All he could do was close his eyes and listen.
Nick opened his eyes when Grissom kneeled down in front of him and put one hand on his knee. "Nicky..." Grissom said softly. "It's not looking too good for Greg." Nick stared back in silence. "There's been too much brain damage and blood loss...he's probably never going to wake up." Nick nodded slightly in understanding. Grissom continued. "He's in a lot of pain...I have his power of attorney on whether or not to keep him on life support, but I'm letting you make the decision. It's up to you, Nick."
Nick closed his eyes and pressed his head against the wall behind him as hard as he could as tears started falling rapidly from his eyes. "Let him go."
"Are you sure?"
Nick shook his head. "Please don't make me say it again."
"Okay." Grissom said softly. He was gone for a few minutes while he spoke with the doctor, but then he was right back to where he had been before. "You can go in and be with him if you want."
Nick opened his eyes and shook his head. "I can't watch him die. It'll kill me."
Grissom nodded and turned to Warrick. "Take him home."
Nick shook his head again. "No...I want to be here...I just..."
"It's okay Nicky." Warrick said as he pulled Nick's head onto his shoulder and let him rest it there. "It's okay bro."
Grissom stood again and looked down at his CSIs. He could feel a migraine coming on as he watched Nick cry on Warrick's shoulder for Greg, who couldn't do anything for himself anymore.
Nick had no idea how much time had passed before he heard Ulrich say, "I'm terribly sorry...Greg has passed away."
Nick literally felt his heart shatter and didn't care that his entire body was shaking. He felt like he was going to pass out. He took a deep breath and stood with the help of Warrick and left the hospital as quickly as possible. Warrick got them back to Warrick's in record time. Nick didn't want to go back to his house just yet. Losing Greg was hard enough, he didn't want to feel like he was there when he wasn't. Nick managed to make his way into the living room and collapsed onto the couch. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the couch. He heard Warrick close the door and felt him sit down next to him. Nick felt the warm tears slide out from under his closed eyelids and down his cheek, over his jaw and down his neck.
He shook his head and opened his eyes and stared up at the white ceiling. "Why is this happening?"
Warrick sighed sadly. "I don't know man."
"It should have been me." Nick choked out.
Warrick put his hand on Nick's knee and squeezed firmly. "Don't say that Nicky."
"It's my fault."
"No it's not. It isn't anyone's fault. There's nothing you could have done."
Nick's breathing was starting to hitch. "I should have just taken the fucking paperwork to Sara's..."
Warrick put his other arm around Nick's shoulders. "Come on Nick. You know this wasn't your fault. It was an accident."
"But why did it have to happen to him?" Nick looked at Warrick through his tear filled eyes. All Warrick could do was shake his head slowly. Nick took a deep breath to try and calm himself down, but it didn't work as well as he hoped. "The least I could've done was stay with him while he..." Nick trailed off from that thought. "I left him alone. He hates hospitals...I should have stayed with him."
"You wouldn't have been able to handle that."
"So what? He shouldn't have had to be alone...he didn't deserve to die like that."
"No one does bro."
"I do."
"Don't ever say that ever again Nick. What do you think Greg would say if he heard you say that? Do you think he wants you to feel like this? There's nothing you could have done. You did all you could, and he knows that. He knows you love him, and he loves you just as much."
Nick closed his eyes and choked down another sob. "Why does this have to hurt so much?"
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
There are going to be a few more chapters in this story. Thanks for all the reviews/