Fix You

Author's Note: This is Buffy/Riley. It takes place at the end of "Into the Woods". Basically, what if Buffy had gotten to him in time? That pretty much would change the rest of the show afterwards, and I'm not doing that. I liked season six and seven. But, I love BR to death, and I still cry everything I watch the end of them. So, this will just be a oneshot because I just HAD to write this.

It's been a few years since we saw this episode. I'm thinking about five years? So events leading to the departure are flashbacks in italics. Transcript is from buffy-vs-angel. Lyrics are from Coldplay's song "Fix You."

If If I were you, I would seriously listen to this song while you read it, because the background of it fits perfectly with what I wrote. I would start it about the time Xander comes in and starts talking to Buffy. Just a thought. You want the bridge part of it when she's running. It gave me goose bumps. ;)

I hope you enjoy. Pretty, pretty please leave me a review of your honest thoughts. Even a short one. If I don't get them, I get too discouraged to continue writing. ;)

Oh and GO COLTS! (If you're a Bears fan, please don't let that keep you from reading this.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy. Or any of the things I mentioned in the AN.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

"We need to talk."

Buffy ignored the comment that her supposed boyfriend said, and continued to punch the bag. "I'm not ready to talk to you yet," she said void of emotion.

Riley walked forward towards her, and removed his jacket, throwing it to the side. "Too bad," he stated. He grabbed a hold on the punching bag, causing Buffy to stop.

"I'm serious. Unless you wanna fight," she replied, the anger clear and evident in her voice.

"So let's fight. We need to have this out, Buffy. Right now."

Buffy turned back around, completely annoyed. "And say what, Riley? 'What were you thinking? How long have you been lying to me?' Nothing you say right now is gonna make this better," she said and turned away from him again.

Riley moved forward towards her. This wasn't over.

"I realize that," he said and grabbed her arm, turning her around. "I don't expect... I just need you to hear me out."

"Fine. Get your hand off of me," she spat back.

Riley let his grip on the girl's arm drop, gave a sigh, and slightly walked away from her.

"I think, when this thing started, it was just some stupid, immature game. I wanted to even the score after you let Dracula bite you," he started to explain.

"I did not let Dracula-" Buffy quickly responded, her defenses immediately rising.

"I know. On some level I know that. But I was still spun. I don't know, I - I wanted to know what you felt. I wanted to know why Dracula and Angel have so much power over you," he continued to explain.

Buffy shook her head, clearly disappointed. "You so don't get it."

"I wanted to get it, Buffy. I wanted to get you," he told her, his voice rising with every word.

"So this is my fault? Hey, gee, Buffy's so mysterious, I think I'll go out and almost die. I think I'll go and let some other w…" Buffy trailed off sadly, looking down towards the floor.

"This isn't your fault. It's mine. I feel like hell for what I've put you through. It's just... these girls-" Riley started, quickly being cut off.

"Vampires. Killers."

"They made me feel something, Buffy. Something I didn't even know I was missing until-" Riley continued. He felt like he really needed to get this out.

"I can't. I can't hear this," Buffy said, and turned away again before Riley grabbed her by the arm.

"You need to hear this."

Buffy pulled her arm away, taking a few steps back, away from Riley. "Fine. Fine! Tell me about your whores! Tell me what on earth they were giving you that I can't."

"They needed me."

"They needed your money. It wasn't about you," Buffy said, fighting back.

Riley walked closer towards her. "No. On some basic level it was about me. My blood, my body. When they bit me ... it was beyond passion. They wanted to devour me, all of me," he continued his explanation.

Buffy felt herself growing weaker as she began to tear up. "Why are you telling me this?"

"It wasn't real. I know, it was just physical. But the fact that I craved it ... that, that I kept going back ... even if it was fleeting, they made me feel like they had such... hunger for me."

"And I don't ... make you feel that way? How on earth can you compare me to that? How can you tell me you understand what those vampires are feeling? You aren't a passion to them, you are a snack! A willing, idiotic snack."

"No, I know exactly what they feel when they bite me, because I feel it every time we're together. It's like the whole world falls away. And all there is you," Riley said.

"And you think that I don't feel the same way about you? How dare you tell me what I feel?" Buffy said, quickly pulling out of the sadness, her emotions turning to anger once again. After all, she was the slayer. This was her defense mechanism.

"You keep me at a distance, Buffy. You didn't even call me when your mom went into the hospital."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You know, um, I'm sorry that I couldn't take care of you when I thought that my mother was dying," Buffy said incredulously.

"It's about me taking care of you!" Riley exclaimed. "It's about letting me in. So you don't have to be on top of everything all the time."

"But I do. That's part of what being a slayer is. And that's what this is really about, isn't it? You can't handle the fact that I'm stronger than you," Buffy said, coming to the realization.

"It's hard sometimes, yeah. But that's not it."

"Then what? What else do you want from me, Riley? I've given you everything that I have, I've given you my heart, my body and soul!" Buffy exclaimed, knowing that this was it. If this wasn't enough, then it would never be enough for them. There was only so much that Buffy could give.

"You say that, but I don't feel it. I just don't feel it."

"Well, whose fault its that? Because I'm telling you, this is it, this is me. This is the package. And if it's so deficient that you need to get your kicks elsewhere ... then we really have a problem," Buffy finished sadly.

Buffy looked to him for a minute, staring silently. Sadly, she dropped her head, unable to look anymore. Riley gave a sigh.

"They want me back, Buffy ... the military. It's deep undercover, no contact with civilians. Transport's leaving tonight," he explained, knowing there was no other time than now, even if it wasn't the best time. He was about to lose the women he loved more than anything in the world, it needed to be now.

"Tonight? When were you gonna tell me about this?"

"I'm telling you now," Riley said, giving no other explanation. This was it.

"Are you going?"

"I don't know. If we can't work this out…" he started to explain.

"Then what? This is goodbye?" Buffy asked, earning a shrug from Riley. Now she was very angry.

"You are unbelievable. You're giving me an ultimatum?" she asked angrily.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are! You expect me to get over it now or you're gone!"

"I don't, Buffy, that's not what I meant."

"Well, I have heard enough. I will not take the blame for this," Buffy said as she started to walk away.

"I'm not asking you to," he said, and grabbed her arm yet again.

"Let go of me!" she yelled, and yanked her arm from his grasp.

"Or what? You'll hit me?" he asked as she stared at him. He threw his arms up. "Go ahead. Come on, do it."

"Get out of my way."

"I'm serious, Buffy, hit me. Hit me!" he demanded. He needed some emotion. He needed something. Anything from her. Any slight bit of the real Buffy that might still be there. That might still love him. He needed her. He walked towards her.

She walked around him and took her jacket off a hook.

"I'm leaving, Buffy," he started. She stopped walking but didn't turn to look at him.

"Unless you give me a reason to stay ... I'm leaving tonight."

Buffy opened the door and walked out, closing it behind her.

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Buffy walked over towards a set of shelves backed by a metal grating and leaned her face against it

"Take this, for instance. You don't wanna deal, so you hide? It's not very slayer-like," Xander told her.

"Just leave me alone, Xander. You have no idea what's going on," Buffy said, feeling like her whole body was drained of every ounce of energy on the planet.

"No? Good, so you and Riley aren't imploding? It doesn't take a genius. What I can't figure out is how you never saw it coming," Xander said aloud, wondering just how dense Buffy really was.

"What? Who told you?" Buffy asked, clearly surprised.

"Nobody told me anything, Buffy. It was right in front of my Xander face. The guy would do anything for you," Xander explained, somewhat disappointed in Buffy.

"The guy got himself bit by a vampire! He lied to me. He ran around behind my back and almost got himself killed! And now he tells me that he's leaving with some covert military operation at midnight unless I convince him not to. Now tell me that you understand. Because I sure as hell don't!" she exclaimed, using all the energy she could manage.

"You gonna let him go?"

"It's not my decision to make," Buffy said with a sigh.

"Of course it is," Xander replied, wondering if he would really have to spell everything out for her. But how else would he finally get through to her?

Riley was everything that would be good for Buffy. Riley was the one guy in Buffy's crazy world that could be amazing for her. He knew that Riley loved her more than words could explain, and Xander understood that. He rooted for Riley, knowing that Buffy would have the best life with him.

"Well, it's not fair."

"Who cares if it's fair? In about twenty minutes, Riley's gonna disappear, maybe forever, unless you do something to stop him."

"What am I supposed to do? Beg him to stay?" she asked.

Xander looked towards her in complete disbelief. "Why wouldn't you? To keep Riley here-"

"I don't even know who he is any more. I mean, I thought he was ... Dependable."

"Dependable? What is he, State Farm?" Xander replied rudely.

"You know what I mean," she said, obviously annoyed.

"Yeah. I think you mean convenient," Xander told her, meaning for it to be the slap in the face that it was.

"I think you took it for granted that he was gonna show up when you wanted him to, and take off when you didn't," Xander continued, not holding back one ounce. This needed to be said.

"Look who's talking. Look who has Anya following him around like a lovesick puppy."

"Oh boy, is this not about me," Xander told her.

"Is she more than a convenience? 'Cause that would kinda be a surprise," Buffy said in an effort to delay confrontation and change the subject. He hit, she'd hit right back.

"If you don't wanna hear what I have to say, I'll shut up right now," Xander said angrily.

"Good, 'cause I don't," Buffy said and started to walk away, before Xander cut her off.

"I lied. See, what I think, you got burned with Angel, then Riley shows up," he started.

"I know the story, Xander."

"But you miss the point. You shut down, Buffy. And you've been treating Riley like the rebound guy. When he's the one that comes along once in a lifetime," Xander started, the passion in his voice clearly evident as Buffy looked dismayed.

"He's never held back with you. He's risked everything. And you're about to let him fly because you don't like ultimatums?"

Buffy began to tear up as she realized exactly what Xander was saying. He was finally getting through to her.

" If he's not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn't there, let him go. Break his heart, and make it a clean break," Xander started, letting her no that this was an option.

"But if you really think you can love this guy ... I'm talking scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need ... if you're ready for that ... then think about what you're about to lose," Xander explain, every word coming out with explanation, hope, and the slight chance that Buffy might realize what she was really giving up.

Buffy looked up at him, the tears flowing in her eyes. "Xander…"

"Run."

High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just watch and learn

Buffy began running down the streets of Sunnydale, as fast as she could. As hard as she could. Her hope and faith being everything she was holding on to. She loved him.

Riley stood near the helicopter, looking around anxiously. Every last ounce of him hoped and prayed with everything that he had that she would show up.

Buffy ran along in the street, still hopeful that she would get there in time. It didn't matter that she could barely breathe. The adrenaline, the passion, the hope draining her body completely.

Riley continued to look around and sadly looked down to his watch. It was almost time to go. Maybe she really wasn't going to show up. Maybe this was the end for them. Maybe the women he had fallen in love with so far had given up on him. Behind him the helicopter slowly began to start.

Buffy continued to run down the empty, pitiful streets of Sunnydale. Her steps grew faster and faster. She pushed herself with everything she had in her.

Riley looked at the ground, very disappointed. This was it. It was over. The helicopter began moving faster and faster. Graham sat in the seat, staring at him expectantly. They both knew it was over. It was time to leave.

Buffy ran through more trees than she could count, running straight through the forest.

Riley quickly turned to look at two trees, just hoping that Buffy would be there.

Sadly, he began walking towards the helicopter, finally giving up on the one thing that had kept him going for the past year.

Buffy finished her route through the forest, stepping foot near the helipad as Riley began stepping into the helicopter.

"Riley! Riley!" she screamed as the tears poured out of her eyes down to the edges of her face, louder than her body could manage. This was everything.

Riley turned from Graham and the helicopter to see Buffy standing yards away from him. There she was, in all her glory.

"I love you!" she screamed to him as she ran towards his beautiful body. The body that had been completely shut down only seconds earlier. She reached him and threw her arms around him, pulling him to her harder than she had ever held him before.

"Don't go," she choked out, completely out of breathe. She inhaled a few times, trying to catch her breathe. "You can't go," she said as her hands drilled into his back. "I need you."

He looked down to her, finally hearing the one thing that he always needed. He needed her to need him. He needed her to love him. He needed her to let him in. He had to be the guy for her. He had to be her everything, like she was for him.

He looked into her eyes, feeling the love that he needed. He leaned down and began kissing her, more passionately than he ever had in his entire life. His hands roamed from her back to her silky hair, as his mouth captured hers.

He was never letting her go.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you